I am so inexplicably sad. Michael switched to a twin bed this weekend, and he never looked back. He watched his dad disassemble it without an issue and then happily jumped on the new bed when it was put together. Andrew and Lily were soooooo excited for him...it almost made me cry. He went to bed Saturday night with no issues and slept 11 hours. He napped for almost 3 hours on Sunday, with no issues getting to sleep. And again with the 11 hours last night. I hear him in there talking and singing. He looks so small in that big bed. But he's not really that small anymore. He's growing up.
So the crib is gone. Pushed into a corner of the basement for the first time. It's been up in our house for 8 years...not that long, I guess. But I feel like it is the end of an era. I'm feeling very over-dramatic and "girly" about it. I'm having a crisis of mortality. Like, "Oh my God, I will never have another baby and will soon be dead."
Of course, 15 minutes after the new bed was up, Jeff and I were sitting at the kitchen table and I was holding back tears. Upstairs, the 3 kids started screaming and fighting over who got to be under the cover and someone pushed someone else into the wall and then Andrew growled and scared somebody, etc etc. Listening to the endless fighting I actually thought, "How long until they leave for college?"
So I know that I am romanticizing this whole crib thing. There are many not so nice memories surrounding this piece of furniture. Like cleaning vomit off of each rung after a stomach virus. Or creeping out after lying the baby down, hoping that they would just stay asleep for the love of God.
I love watching my kids get older. They get more interesting and more fun with each passing year. But, oh, how I love babies. How I loved MY babies especially. So I'm a little sad. And really really wishing I lived closer to our siblings so I could steal future nieces and nephews to satisfy my baby cravings. And to give me an excuse to keep this crib around. ;) Sara? Chad? Andrea? Any of you want to move to PA?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
P.P.S. I love libraries
Don't worry. It will take more than one cranky librarian to make me swear off libraries. I love libraries.
I love libraries so much that I worked in one in high school. Shelving books. Still one of my favorite jobs ever.
I love libraries so much that when I quit teaching, I took a job as a school librarian for a private school in California. For very very low pay. It is the job I held the longest in my life.
I love libraries so much that the library system here in PA was one consolation when we moved here. (Louisville's was not so great).
I love libraries so much that my book club expressed concern for me this month. See, the book we are reading has such a long hold list, that the library basically tells you it is unavailable. I saw one of my fellow book-clubbers and she asked how in the world I would read the book if I couldn't check it out from the library. She knows I don't buy books. (I am borrowing it from another book clubber who bought it and finished it already).
I love libraries so much that last year when my closest library was having funding/staffing problems, I went on every free Saturday I had to help shelve books, proof their shelves, etc.
I love libraries so much that there is nothing I like to do more than slowly peruse the shelves...and when I need a time out from my family, you will often find me there.
I love libraries so much that I drag my children there each and every week. And to mix things up a bit, I try to occasionally go to a different branch. Which is what happened yesterday. My usual branch knows and loves my kids (and me, since I volunteer there). My usual branch wouldn't blink an eye if Michael had a screaming fit while we were waiting to check out (has happened). Yesterday was especially frustrating because Lily and Michael were actually being very well behaved.
Experiences like yesterday are not uncommon, unfortunately. It doesn't dissuade me from going, because I go frequently enough to have many many more good experiences than bad. But for my friends who NEVER take their kids? If this was their experience on their first visit? I can see why you wouldn't vote to fund the libraries. And so I'm angry at librarians and staff who are "put out" by patrons...because they are writing their own unemployment check.
Also, librarians who read this blog (and I know there are several)...a question. Why not put a separate check out desk in the children's area? A self-checkout even? Then we could check out books while the children continue playing with the puzzles/computers/puppets. And we wouldn't have to worry about controlling our children in the lines at the front of the library where there are escape doors and sensitive elderly patrons, etc etc. Just curious.
And I'll go back. Maybe not to that particular branch. But I'll go back. If only to return Elephant and Piggie's Can I Play Too...which we've already read 15 times in the last 12 hours.
I love libraries so much that I worked in one in high school. Shelving books. Still one of my favorite jobs ever.
I love libraries so much that when I quit teaching, I took a job as a school librarian for a private school in California. For very very low pay. It is the job I held the longest in my life.
I love libraries so much that the library system here in PA was one consolation when we moved here. (Louisville's was not so great).
I love libraries so much that my book club expressed concern for me this month. See, the book we are reading has such a long hold list, that the library basically tells you it is unavailable. I saw one of my fellow book-clubbers and she asked how in the world I would read the book if I couldn't check it out from the library. She knows I don't buy books. (I am borrowing it from another book clubber who bought it and finished it already).
I love libraries so much that last year when my closest library was having funding/staffing problems, I went on every free Saturday I had to help shelve books, proof their shelves, etc.
I love libraries so much that there is nothing I like to do more than slowly peruse the shelves...and when I need a time out from my family, you will often find me there.
I love libraries so much that I drag my children there each and every week. And to mix things up a bit, I try to occasionally go to a different branch. Which is what happened yesterday. My usual branch knows and loves my kids (and me, since I volunteer there). My usual branch wouldn't blink an eye if Michael had a screaming fit while we were waiting to check out (has happened). Yesterday was especially frustrating because Lily and Michael were actually being very well behaved.
Experiences like yesterday are not uncommon, unfortunately. It doesn't dissuade me from going, because I go frequently enough to have many many more good experiences than bad. But for my friends who NEVER take their kids? If this was their experience on their first visit? I can see why you wouldn't vote to fund the libraries. And so I'm angry at librarians and staff who are "put out" by patrons...because they are writing their own unemployment check.
Also, librarians who read this blog (and I know there are several)...a question. Why not put a separate check out desk in the children's area? A self-checkout even? Then we could check out books while the children continue playing with the puzzles/computers/puppets. And we wouldn't have to worry about controlling our children in the lines at the front of the library where there are escape doors and sensitive elderly patrons, etc etc. Just curious.
And I'll go back. Maybe not to that particular branch. But I'll go back. If only to return Elephant and Piggie's Can I Play Too...which we've already read 15 times in the last 12 hours.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Dear...
Dear librarian,
I am so sorry to have troubled you with my need to check out books. Even though you were clearly sitting at the counter where people go to check out books. I could tell you were irritated by your exasperated sigh as I put my pile of books in front of you. I know it was bothersome to watch my children stand patiently while we waited...they did skip around a bit as they waited to get their video back from you. And I completely understand why you snapped at my 2 year old when he pushed the giant blue handicap button down at his eye level to open the door. Obviously that is not there to open the door and you are so good to point out that he is brutishly strong and could break it.
So sorry for the inconvenience.
Sincerely,
Loves libraries but hates (some) librarians
PS. If you hate children so much, please just remove the children's section entirely. Then we will stop bringing them to your precious library. However, we may still need to check out adult books so that will not solve all your problems.
I am so sorry to have troubled you with my need to check out books. Even though you were clearly sitting at the counter where people go to check out books. I could tell you were irritated by your exasperated sigh as I put my pile of books in front of you. I know it was bothersome to watch my children stand patiently while we waited...they did skip around a bit as they waited to get their video back from you. And I completely understand why you snapped at my 2 year old when he pushed the giant blue handicap button down at his eye level to open the door. Obviously that is not there to open the door and you are so good to point out that he is brutishly strong and could break it.
So sorry for the inconvenience.
Sincerely,
Loves libraries but hates (some) librarians
PS. If you hate children so much, please just remove the children's section entirely. Then we will stop bringing them to your precious library. However, we may still need to check out adult books so that will not solve all your problems.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Why there are no pictures of Andrew
I have a feeling that as my blogging life goes on, there will be fewer and fewer pictures of the kids. Mostly I think this because when I ask my 7 year old to let me take a picture of him, I get results like this:
And when I try to take pictures of the 4 year old when the 7 year old is around, they often turn out like this:
Occasionally I get a good shot. Like when I ask to see the gap newly formed in the top row of teeth:
But more often than not, I get pictures like this:
Most days I'm happy if it just turns out like this:
And not this:
Good thing he's cute...is all I'm sayin'. Too bad there won't be much photographic evidence of it.
Oh, wait. Here's one.
And when I try to take pictures of the 4 year old when the 7 year old is around, they often turn out like this:
Occasionally I get a good shot. Like when I ask to see the gap newly formed in the top row of teeth:
But more often than not, I get pictures like this:
Most days I'm happy if it just turns out like this:
And not this:
Good thing he's cute...is all I'm sayin'. Too bad there won't be much photographic evidence of it.
Oh, wait. Here's one.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
A budding artist
Michael just drew this picture. Isn't it cute? Don't you just love baby drawings?
I asked him what it is a picture of. In his words, (from left to right) it is a Daddy, a cute baby, a Mike, and a giant ghost. They are scared of the ghost.
Actually, if I used Michael's actual words it would read like this: "Ma, dih a da, a coo bay-ee, a My, an a gi-an go. Day ah scee oh go."
So you can see we still have a ways to go speech wise with this boy. He is adding a second syllable onto certain words...which is very exciting. Except that when he adds the second syllable, he now leaves out the middle sound. So the word "funny" went from "fuh" to "fuh-ee". And he now knows we want something at the end when we ask him to repeat a word. So he just adds a /p/ to the end. Of anything.
Here's a recent conversation with Michael:
Michael: Ma! I wa toe. I wa toe!
Me: You want a toe?
Michael: Toe-p
Me: You want taupe?
Michael: Toe-t. I wa toe-t
Me: You want tote? Can you show me what you want?
Michael amiably takes my hand and pulls me into the kitchen. He points at the sink (?) I finally figured out he wanted toast.
Tomorrow Michael will be evaluated by the IU...Intermediate Unit. I think that's what it stands for. When he turns 3, he will no longer be eligible for services through the Early Intervention. I don't know that anything we've done in speech therapy has helped him...maybe he's just progressing with age. He's still nearly unintelligible without context clues. But he's doing better.
And he never gets frustrated...which floors me. We have conversations like the one above several times a day, and he just never gets mad when we don't understand him. He's just such a easy-going, lovable little sweet pea. And so smart. I really just want his teachers to understand him next year. I don't want people to underestimate him because he can't speak clearly. I know they'll love him...he's too lovable and charismatic. I want them to know he's smart too. ;)
I asked him what it is a picture of. In his words, (from left to right) it is a Daddy, a cute baby, a Mike, and a giant ghost. They are scared of the ghost.
Actually, if I used Michael's actual words it would read like this: "Ma, dih a da, a coo bay-ee, a My, an a gi-an go. Day ah scee oh go."So you can see we still have a ways to go speech wise with this boy. He is adding a second syllable onto certain words...which is very exciting. Except that when he adds the second syllable, he now leaves out the middle sound. So the word "funny" went from "fuh" to "fuh-ee". And he now knows we want something at the end when we ask him to repeat a word. So he just adds a /p/ to the end. Of anything.
Here's a recent conversation with Michael:
Michael: Ma! I wa toe. I wa toe!
Me: You want a toe?
Michael: Toe-p
Me: You want taupe?
Michael: Toe-t. I wa toe-t
Me: You want tote? Can you show me what you want?
Michael amiably takes my hand and pulls me into the kitchen. He points at the sink (?) I finally figured out he wanted toast.
Tomorrow Michael will be evaluated by the IU...Intermediate Unit. I think that's what it stands for. When he turns 3, he will no longer be eligible for services through the Early Intervention. I don't know that anything we've done in speech therapy has helped him...maybe he's just progressing with age. He's still nearly unintelligible without context clues. But he's doing better.
And he never gets frustrated...which floors me. We have conversations like the one above several times a day, and he just never gets mad when we don't understand him. He's just such a easy-going, lovable little sweet pea. And so smart. I really just want his teachers to understand him next year. I don't want people to underestimate him because he can't speak clearly. I know they'll love him...he's too lovable and charismatic. I want them to know he's smart too. ;)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentine's P.S.
Jeff came home from work late last night. He had read my blog at work, so knew his car would be filled with stuff. But he didn't let on, and the kids were so excited and thrilled that we'd "surprised" him. The kids were jittery with their sugar high and somewhat more difficult to put to bed. It took 20 minutes instead of 15 ;) I was upstairs reading with Andrew and I heard dishes clinking. I thought how nice it was for Jeff to clean up the kitchen for me on Valentine's Day.
Imagine my surprise to come downstairs to lights out and candles lit. Champagne on ice and gift bag sitting on the table. Inside the bag was a box of chocolates from our local chocolatier and a mug from the same place.
And so my Valentine and I sat sipping champagne and eating very high end chocolates while talking and reminiscing and playing footsie under the table.
It was absolutely romantic and delightful. Valentine's Day? Jeff for the win!
Imagine my surprise to come downstairs to lights out and candles lit. Champagne on ice and gift bag sitting on the table. Inside the bag was a box of chocolates from our local chocolatier and a mug from the same place.
And so my Valentine and I sat sipping champagne and eating very high end chocolates while talking and reminiscing and playing footsie under the table.
It was absolutely romantic and delightful. Valentine's Day? Jeff for the win!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day
Ah, Valentine's Day. I like to think of it as an excuse to have a little fun in an otherwise dreary month. An excuse to deck your house with cheery red decorations and act silly and lovey-dovey when the world is cold and white and dreary.
It is not like this every year.
I remember the year that I was once again without a Valentine. Fifteen years ago today, I threw in the towel and decided that I would never have a boyfriend. That I was going to stop waiting for it to happen. That I was going to do things that I'd been waiting to have a boyfriend to do. Like learn to swing dance. The day after Valentine's day, I called a friend of mine and asked him to be my partner so I could learn to swing dance. Funny thing...that friend has been my Valentine ever since ;)
I remember the year that Valentine's day was very painful. See, eight years ago today, it was my due date. For the baby that we lost at nearly 9 weeks gestation. And by the time the due date came around, I STILL wasn't pregnant again. And I remember going to church that week and changing my prayers. I stopped praying for a baby...because it just wasn't happening. And I prayed to accept that I was not in control of this. I understood that this was going to be or not going to be...I couldn't keep being heartbroken about it and I needed to move to acceptance. And 2 weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant again...with my Andrew.
And I remember fondly my first Valentine's Day as a married woman. I was miserable teaching, I was horribly sad being away from my family, I was depressed as all get out. And I knew that Jeff didn't like Valentine's Day, so all I asked was that he enjoy a nice dinner with me. And I came home from work and cooked a dinner (a real novelty at the time) and announced that dinner was ready. Jeff was on the phone and wouldn't get off. So I ate dinner alone. Pissed and sad and wondering where my life was going. And I left to get some party things for my class party the next day. Oh, and I may have left a passive aggressive note on the dinner table. When I got home, Jeff was gone. I sat on the floor and started grading papers. Jeff came back a bit later...with a diamond ring that he'd just ran out and bought out of guilt. Seriously. Who does that? And I thanked him and then told him I couldn't accept it. That I'd always look at it and know that he'd bought it for me because he felt guilty...not because he actually wanted to get it for me. And I made him return it that night. Who does that? And Jeff had to drive back to the mall and give it back to the same woman he'd bought it from 45 minutes earlier. I can't even imagine the embarrassment of that moment. We laugh about it now...but it wasn't funny that day.
This year, I planned to make him a fabulous hot breakfast. And then Lily got me up at 2 and Andrew got me up at 3...and I slept through the alarm. I apologized to him for being a loser. And Jeff covered me with kisses and hugged me tight and didn't even grope me. Now that's love. So I've got to think on my feet. I've decided that later today, the kids and I are going to go to the train station and find his car and fill it with cards and chocolates and other Valentine's Day paraphernalia. So he can be totally embarrassed when he gets off the train tonight. ;)
I get to go watch Andrew's Valentine's Day play today...The Little Red Hen's Valentine Wish. And the kids get to eat their candy treats all day with no restrictions...a little tradition of our own. Tonight I'm making a dinner that everyone will eat. And Jeff and I will enjoy a little mint Bailey's and watch a movie when the kids go to bed.
It's a good Valentine's Day this year. I hope yours is too.
It is not like this every year.
I remember the year that I was once again without a Valentine. Fifteen years ago today, I threw in the towel and decided that I would never have a boyfriend. That I was going to stop waiting for it to happen. That I was going to do things that I'd been waiting to have a boyfriend to do. Like learn to swing dance. The day after Valentine's day, I called a friend of mine and asked him to be my partner so I could learn to swing dance. Funny thing...that friend has been my Valentine ever since ;)
I remember the year that Valentine's day was very painful. See, eight years ago today, it was my due date. For the baby that we lost at nearly 9 weeks gestation. And by the time the due date came around, I STILL wasn't pregnant again. And I remember going to church that week and changing my prayers. I stopped praying for a baby...because it just wasn't happening. And I prayed to accept that I was not in control of this. I understood that this was going to be or not going to be...I couldn't keep being heartbroken about it and I needed to move to acceptance. And 2 weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant again...with my Andrew.
And I remember fondly my first Valentine's Day as a married woman. I was miserable teaching, I was horribly sad being away from my family, I was depressed as all get out. And I knew that Jeff didn't like Valentine's Day, so all I asked was that he enjoy a nice dinner with me. And I came home from work and cooked a dinner (a real novelty at the time) and announced that dinner was ready. Jeff was on the phone and wouldn't get off. So I ate dinner alone. Pissed and sad and wondering where my life was going. And I left to get some party things for my class party the next day. Oh, and I may have left a passive aggressive note on the dinner table. When I got home, Jeff was gone. I sat on the floor and started grading papers. Jeff came back a bit later...with a diamond ring that he'd just ran out and bought out of guilt. Seriously. Who does that? And I thanked him and then told him I couldn't accept it. That I'd always look at it and know that he'd bought it for me because he felt guilty...not because he actually wanted to get it for me. And I made him return it that night. Who does that? And Jeff had to drive back to the mall and give it back to the same woman he'd bought it from 45 minutes earlier. I can't even imagine the embarrassment of that moment. We laugh about it now...but it wasn't funny that day.
This year, I planned to make him a fabulous hot breakfast. And then Lily got me up at 2 and Andrew got me up at 3...and I slept through the alarm. I apologized to him for being a loser. And Jeff covered me with kisses and hugged me tight and didn't even grope me. Now that's love. So I've got to think on my feet. I've decided that later today, the kids and I are going to go to the train station and find his car and fill it with cards and chocolates and other Valentine's Day paraphernalia. So he can be totally embarrassed when he gets off the train tonight. ;)
I get to go watch Andrew's Valentine's Day play today...The Little Red Hen's Valentine Wish. And the kids get to eat their candy treats all day with no restrictions...a little tradition of our own. Tonight I'm making a dinner that everyone will eat. And Jeff and I will enjoy a little mint Bailey's and watch a movie when the kids go to bed.
It's a good Valentine's Day this year. I hope yours is too.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Recently heard...
Lily was lying on a couch during a playgroup this week. She was holding a play phone up to her ear and was chatting to an imaginary friend. I overheard her saying, "Yah, I think it's a spa day."
Michael interuppted Jeff and I smooching in the kitchen. Jeff picked him up and we gave him a sandwich kiss. Michael looked at me very seriously and said, "Ma? Da is yo fren?" (Mom? Dad is your friend?). We smiled and agreed. Later in the week, Jeff came home from work and Michael came running to find me. "Ma! Yo fren is here!"
Andrew was saying goodbye to me before I left on my trip. He hugged me and said with a twinkle in his eye, "Have a good time with your imaginary friends, Peace and Quiet."
Michael interuppted Jeff and I smooching in the kitchen. Jeff picked him up and we gave him a sandwich kiss. Michael looked at me very seriously and said, "Ma? Da is yo fren?" (Mom? Dad is your friend?). We smiled and agreed. Later in the week, Jeff came home from work and Michael came running to find me. "Ma! Yo fren is here!"
Andrew was saying goodbye to me before I left on my trip. He hugged me and said with a twinkle in his eye, "Have a good time with your imaginary friends, Peace and Quiet."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Returned
I'm back. I've been back. But for the first time in a long time, I'm at a loss for words. I just don't know how to sum up my trip to CA. How I walked out of the airport in San Diego and felt the warm sunshine on my face...and immediately called Jeff to tell him I was ready to move back. And then 15 minutes later when I was pleading with my father to slow down and spare my life on the freeways IhavethreechildrenwhoneedmefortheloveofGod...I called Jeff back and told him nevermind.
It was renewing and fabulous to be in sunny warm weather. It was refreshing to sit in restaurants without a diaper bag of entertainment and to have complete conversations with other adults. It was thoroughly and unbelievably relaxing.
And the wedding...oh, the wedding. Friday night I got to mingle and mix with the bride and her family and friends. Such nice, welcoming, friendly people. I got to visit with Elizabeth and get a first impression of her husband. I enjoyed imagining being wealthy as I sat on her in-laws porch and looked down at the beach...yes, their house was right on the beach...divine.
The next day my parents and I hiked around a little bit and just soaked in some fresh Vitamin D. Then that night was the wedding. Such a touching and beautiful ceremony overlooking the Pacific. The reception was unlike anything I've ever experienced. More silverware than I've ever seen. Multiple courses...one of which was a tiny dollop of sherbet sitting on my own individual ice swan. Oh, yes. I'm serious. Hilarious and friendly staff. Infused vodka. Never heard of it? Me neither. I don't think they sell it at Applebee's. ;) Etc etc etc. Fabulous.
Sunday was more walking around a beach town. Then we drove to another beach town and I met up with my good friend Pamela. We ate a huge lunch and then waddled around the little boardwalk. We talk every week on the phone, so it wasn't so much catching up and enjoying being a few thousand miles closer as we chatted.
I even enjoyed the flights to and from. I read almost 2 whole books. The Swan Thieves, by Elizabeth Kostovo...excellent, but hurt my brain a little. And I still have a little left in The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.
So congrats to my friend who now has one of the longest names I've seen ;) And thanks for letting this poor pale under socialized old friend come and witness the beginning of your married life. It was a blast!
Thanks also to Jeff and my MIL who held down the fort while I was gone. Of course. ;) I'm trying my hardest not to complain about life this week...lest Jeff hit me across the head with a 2x4. ;)
It was renewing and fabulous to be in sunny warm weather. It was refreshing to sit in restaurants without a diaper bag of entertainment and to have complete conversations with other adults. It was thoroughly and unbelievably relaxing.
And the wedding...oh, the wedding. Friday night I got to mingle and mix with the bride and her family and friends. Such nice, welcoming, friendly people. I got to visit with Elizabeth and get a first impression of her husband. I enjoyed imagining being wealthy as I sat on her in-laws porch and looked down at the beach...yes, their house was right on the beach...divine.
The next day my parents and I hiked around a little bit and just soaked in some fresh Vitamin D. Then that night was the wedding. Such a touching and beautiful ceremony overlooking the Pacific. The reception was unlike anything I've ever experienced. More silverware than I've ever seen. Multiple courses...one of which was a tiny dollop of sherbet sitting on my own individual ice swan. Oh, yes. I'm serious. Hilarious and friendly staff. Infused vodka. Never heard of it? Me neither. I don't think they sell it at Applebee's. ;) Etc etc etc. Fabulous.
Sunday was more walking around a beach town. Then we drove to another beach town and I met up with my good friend Pamela. We ate a huge lunch and then waddled around the little boardwalk. We talk every week on the phone, so it wasn't so much catching up and enjoying being a few thousand miles closer as we chatted.
I even enjoyed the flights to and from. I read almost 2 whole books. The Swan Thieves, by Elizabeth Kostovo...excellent, but hurt my brain a little. And I still have a little left in The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.
So congrats to my friend who now has one of the longest names I've seen ;) And thanks for letting this poor pale under socialized old friend come and witness the beginning of your married life. It was a blast!
Thanks also to Jeff and my MIL who held down the fort while I was gone. Of course. ;) I'm trying my hardest not to complain about life this week...lest Jeff hit me across the head with a 2x4. ;)
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