Reality check

I am surrounded by my children almost at all times. They go to bed early, but I am constantly tripping over/sitting on/cleaning up little reminders of them while they sleep.

And yet...sometimes I have an out-of-reality experience where I forget that this is my life.

Like this morning, I was washing my hands after using the facilities. The children were watching tv, so I got to go all by myself...although the door was open so I could race out and save them if necessary. I don't know what I think is going to happen in the 2 seconds that I'm on the commode, or why the door being open is going to save me any time, or why I don't feel similarly compelled to protect them when I am blogging in another room instead of watching them.

I digress. I apologize...my brain is mostly mush after being challenged only by diaper changing and alphabet repetitions for the last 5 years.

I digress again.

So...I was washing my hands. I look at myself in the mirror as I'm doing it. I'm not a big mirror looker...since I don't "do" my hair or "do" makeup, there's really no need...everything is always as rumpled and tired looking as always. No need to check up on anything. But I looked up and saw myself, and my first thought was, "Geez. I need a shower. And, crap, I really need a haircut. Has it really been since March? Yikes. I should just go clean up and head out to the hair cut place. I don't have anything going on today."

1 millisecond passes.

"Oh, yea, I have 3 children. Hence the no shower, hence the no haircut, hence the tired baggy eyes. I was fooled by the 3 seconds of childlessness here in the bathroom. Back to life. Back to reality." (are you all singing that song now?)

Am I the only one with these lapses of reality? Like when I see myself in a photo and I think, "Damn, I'm not really that fat, right?" Or do I really need to worry about my brain functioning? Wait, don't answer that. The reality is, this is my reality. And my brain ain't going to be challenged for another couple of years at least. Excuse me, I need to go read "5 Monkeys Jumpin' on the Bed" for the zillionth time this morning. I can feel another few brain cells dying just anticipating it...

A little bit of this and that

So our computer is acting funny. Can I blame lack of posting on the computer? At least for a little while. ;)

Let's see...what's been going on around here...?

Andrew is adjusting well to school. I think his problem was that his BFF, Matthew (who was in his class last year as well), did the unthinkable...he made a new friend. -gasp- My dear sweet sensitive little boy just couldn't handle that his best friend might make other friends. We talked about branching out, meeting new people, etc. Monday he told me he wanted to write a letter to Matthew. He first drew a picture of them playing together. Then he wanted me to write down what he said. In red crayon. Because, in his words, "Red is the color of love." Um, yikes. The letter went something like this: "Dear Matthew, This is a letter of love. You are the person on the left and I am the person on the right. I like to play cars with you. Love, Andrew" I spent the rest of the week "forgetting" to bring the letter to school to give to Matthew and trying to lose it. Andrew thwarted me and handed it to Matthew's mother on Thursday morning. -sigh- I explained to her that she should not be freaked out by the letter...Andrew is 4 and his love is innocent and pure. She laughed...hopefully a "ha ha, kids are funny"-laugh and not a "ha ha I'm moving to Arizona, you stalker"-laugh.

Andrew's teachers already love him. Mrs. Bennett was eager to tell me how much he cracks her up. Apparently they split the kids up into 3 tables to learn about the letter A. After the activity was over, Andrew went to one of the other tables and said, "So, Mrs. Bennett. How did your table do?" She said they did fine. He replied, "Well, that's good." Also, he was really quiet one day and didn't want to participate (see reason above). When his teacher asked if he was okay, he said, "I'm fine. I'm like a bat, I have more energy at night. I'm actually nocturnal." Weirdo. At least the teachers are laughing...for now.

Lily is singing...all the time. I hear her in the back singing along with our kiddie CD's. She can sing the alphabet song really well...I wish I could tape her so you could hear. She also sings Twinkle Star, 'Tinkle, Tinkle, itt STAR" always with a lot of emphasis on the last word. Seriously, she just melts your heart. And she told me "I yuv oo" this morning. Ugh. That girl has us wrapped around her fingers. Which is good, because when she isn't being painfully cute she is being painfully psycho. Seriously, she is manic. But I love her anyway (she's sleeping right now...it's really easy to love her right now).

Michael had his first taste of rice cereal today! (hated it, by the way. almost made him cry, seriously) Just a month later than the other 2 kids! I have NO desire to start him on solids. First of all, it is just one more thing to try and fit into our days. I'd prefer he just jump to what the other two eat (or rather, what I serve the other 2...eating is a relative term). More importantly, he's nursing so well, he's regular in his..ahem...movements, he's sleeping 11-12 hours in a row at night...he's just perfect. Why mess with that? Why introduce formula? Why start solids? Why do I feel such pressure to do this?

Michael is also NOT rolling over, NOT sitting up, NOT showing any desire to grow up at all. Which I'm secretly pleased about but officially worried about. Secretly I'm not worried at all...I know he's just a contented little guy. Oh, and terribly spoiled...

What else? I don't know. Life is just chugging along...and I am not feeling very inspired to write in this little blog. When I am inspired, I can't actually get on the computer. So sucks to be reading this, eh? Enjoy the fall weather! I've got

Bad weather? Huh?

So I am vaguely aware of current events. I read the headlines on MSN.com and frequently click on them to read more. So I of course knew that Texas has been hit really hard. I cannot imagine the devastation. And living in my self-centered world, I mostly think of the mothers. And how it would feel to try and take care of your kids when you can't get them water, or their favorite toys, or how you wouldn't be able to make it all better for them.

Yesterday I was complaining to Jeff about how hot it still is in September. I complain about this every year. It's kind of like my complaining about the cold in March. The yin and the yang of the year. My body just has a little season clock inside, and it is a month off. Anyhoo, I was whining, "Why does it have to be in the 80s? When can I wear pants? Wah wah wah?" And then my MIL called and told me they have no power and won't have power for a long long time. And that there have been unbelievable wind storms throughout Ohio (and other parts of the midwest I"m sure), but the utility workers have left to go help in Texas...so they are left stranded.

Oops. I guess I should just suck it up. You just need a little perspective sometimes (and my friend Carrie says it better here).

Blog by Andrew

I've been trying to think of activities to do without the tv. So today I gave Andrew my camera and told him to take 10 pictures. Anything. He could go outside, go upstairs, whatever...he just had to be able to tell a little bit about them (in other words, don't take pictures of the carpet). Here are his words without any prompting from me, other than saying, "Tell me about this picture." I can't guarantee it will be funny or interesting. But it is a little piece of my boy, just for you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


I'm Andrew. I am 4 1/2 and Mommy let me have the camera today. I love taking the pictures and stuff. Now I'm ready to talk about my things.

1)I love the Bengals. They're a really cool team. They a lot lose.


2) My Grandma and Grandpa love the Buckeyes. They're happy when they win. And I love sports.

3) It's really fun if you play for this team. And I'm going to be a football player when I grow up. So be careful, try to watch me.

4) I love animals. This is a picture of my book and it tells me all about animals. But not all of the animals.

5) There's lots of fun things to do. That's my counter of lots of art works. But I don't put art work there, it helps me get art work done.

6) I love playing with my football players. Some of them came off of the cake. The cake on my birthday almost when I turned 4.

7) I love playing with all the games in here. I like playing with my mommy and my daddy. And sometimes I play by myself.

8) This is Mommy and Michael. Michael is sleeping. Michael is really cute.

9) This is my daddy's dog when he was little. And we wanted to keep it. And Grandma and Grandpa said yes!

10) This is the Bengals. Carson Palmer. He's my favorite player on the Bengals. He's really good. He has a good team for us to cheer on. They're going to play the Eagles and probably the Eagles would win. And I will cheer for the Eagles.

Good bye!

Score one for the parents

Yesterday was, in a word, beautiful. Sunny skies, temps in the 70s, slight breeze. Utterly perfect. To make the day even better, Jeff got home from work at 3pm (he was working with the United Way for the day doing charity through work). So we decided to head to the local park to enjoy this lovely day. At the last minute, we decided to have dinner there. I packed a cooler of drinks and napkins and Jeff called the pizza place. Let me note that we have NEVER done this. We usually pack PB&J for the park...this was quite the novel idea. ;)

We loaded the kids into the car. Andrew thought we were going to the park. When we stopped and got a pizza, he obviously thought our plans had changed. Never one to complain about pizza, he didn't say a word.

Until we pulled into the park's parking lot. Andrew perked up and said, "What are we doing, Mom?"

"Eating dinner at the park. Is that okay?"

I can see Andrew through the rear view window beaming from ear to ear. "Wow, I'm going to do this with my kids someday. This is so great!"



(have I mentioned that I love the 4 years 10 months age? Did I tell you how obnoxious he was yesterday morning? No? That's because he ended the day on such a great note!)

Some thoughts..

Day 3 of the less tv schedule. It's going awesome! I feel really bad for being such a slacker mom. Of course, the kids don't care at all about less tv...as long as mom can play with them! Uh, what? I think the plugged in type of mother was much more educational. Surely you learn more from Super Why than from playing "Neighbor" for 2 hours straight.

I read a few other blogs of women who have babies right around Michael's age. I was getting a little concerned because all of their babies are rolling over...a lot. Michael isn't even close. Not. Even. Close. When I expressed this to Jeff, he said, "Have you met Lily and Andrew? Why are you surprised?" Oh yea.

Lily, Michael, and I had a lovely morning filled with grocery shopping and gym class. Just once this week I thought about what it would be like if Andrew were in school and I just had Lily. (no feedings or naps to schedule in, no stroller jockeying, etc). And then Michael squealed and smiled and I instantly couldn't imagine it anymore. That life just couldn't have happened.

Speaking of Mikey, he is just the most pleasant kid. Jeff and I were remarking about it just this morning. With Lily and Andrew, I always felt bad that Jeff left for work so early, because he missed out on the babies' best moods. By the time he got home around dinner they were fussy and grouchy and no fun. But with Michael, he's kind of always in a good mood. Honestly my only two complains are a) He doesn't take naps in his crib and b) He has rocket-launched poops. If I have to give up naps during the day in order to get this little piece of sunshine...okay! Sounds like I got a good deal in this one.

How is it possible that Andrew won't go to school full time until fall of 2010? Part of me is glad he gets to be a kid for as long as possible...the other part of me feels bad for him because he enjoys school so much. I pick him up and he says, "School was perfect!" I drop him off and he runs off to join his class. I'm so jealous. ;)

I go to my first meeting of a book club tonight! This group of ladies started in April (uh, bad timing for me). I'm finally able to go because Michael actually sleeps at night now. I don't know anyone in the group very well...I actually have only met 2 of the ladies before. We'll see how it goes. It seems like women come in two varieties...always willing to meet new people and make new friends or happy with the friends they already have so leave me the heck alone new person! Hopefully this group will have a fair amount of the former.

Speaking of unfriendly people...there is a mother in Lily's gym class who is just downright rude. Or else she is hearing impaired. But I'm pretty sure she's just rude. And I must be getting older, because my mouth's filter is getting dangerously close not working. As the kids were running around at the beginning of class, I smiled and said hello as we passed each other. She literally glared at me. I almost, *almost* said, "Wow, you're friendly." A few more years and those comments will just fly from me. There aren't too many things I look forward to about getting old...but oh to be about 80. You can say whatever the hell you want and people just smile, chuckle, and say, "Oh, you old fart. You survived this long you can say anything."

Oh, and another mother has a totally cute little girl named Bella who is just a few weeks older than Lily. We were talking and she mentioned how Bella was her surprise baby...her other kids are 15 and 13. Wow! At least when my surprise came I was already in baby mode. And of course she is just in love with her little surprise. There's something about these kiddos you don't expect...

Enough boring rambling! Michael is screaming in his crib, "I! Won't! Nap! Alone!" and I suppose I should go save him. Booger. He'll be asleep in moments...in my arms, that is.

A schedule

Ahhhhhhh, a schedule. I am an unmotivated, lazy, procrastinating, lousy housewife and stay-at-home mother. I am worthless in the unscheduled days of summer. We lounge around until I suddenly have a fit of claustrophobia, and then we frantically get ready and rush out the door to either spend unnecessary money at Target or swelter at a park because I didn't get out of the house early enough. I thrive on a daily goal to shape our otherwise formless hours. And today started "the schedule".

Andrew started school this morning. Oh sweet heavens! Positives: Andrew gets to go to school which engages his busy mind, socializes him, and puts some structure in our daily routine. Heck, it creates a daily routine. And with him in school 4 days a week this year, it really will become our schedule. Negatives: School is only 2 1/2 hours long. This is too long to run errands with 2 babies, but not enough time to justify running an errand and then coming home and unloading them. Plus, for every day of school, that means parking, unloading the babies, walking Andrew into school. Then a few minutes later, reloading the little ones. A few hours later we repeat this process when we pick him up. Ugh. And this year they are having major construction. I wish they would develop some sort of pick-up/drop-off procedure to make it easier.

Anyhoo...I really decided to shake things up and this morning we started our TV limiting program. I am almost ashamed to admit what it is...because our "limiting" is still way more tv than children are supposed to watch. And yet it is drastically reducing the amount of tv that has been on since my last trimester of pregnancy. Andrew and I made a chart. For every day, each of us gets to watch 2 programs for the whole day. That's 2 for Lily, 2 for Andrew, and 2 for me. Each of us gets to also enjoy the other people's tv choices. So just for the kids, that's 2 hours of tv a day. And this is DRASTICALLY less than we've been watching. Lily blew through her 2 programs by 10 am. Andrew is hoarding his today...I don't know when he thinks he's going to watch, but he refuses to use up his programs yet. Oh, and there are some loopholes. For example, if it is a rainy/cold day we can also watch one movie. Or if Andrew uses up his programs and wants to watch more, he can do a chore to earn another show.

Ugh...I'm really the one who is in need of tv withdrawal. The kids don't really seem to care. But I am finding it difficult to do my chores and important things like blogging without them plugged into the tv. Pathetic. Bad mommy. But we're going to do this... I swear. And it's going to go better than my weight loss program because I have a 4 year old/chart Nazi keeping track.

Yay for schedules and new fall routines!

Photo horrors

Ugh. What a morning. If you don't feel like hearing a whiny post...then stop reading now!

Okay, so Michael has never had professional portraits taken. No birth announcements. Nothing. Nada. He is almost 5 months old...I gotta take him in. I am totally overwhelmed with the thought of taking the 3 kids into the tiny JC Penney studio by myself.

But today was the day. I just couldn't put it off any longer. I scheduled the first appointment of the day (10am). That way they can't be running behind. The primary goal was shots of Michael, secondary goal shots of Lily (she is almost 2!) and tertiary goal of all 3 together.

Let's pause from this commentary to all chuckle at my optimism.

Okay, have you collected yourself?

This morning I managed to feed and bathe each child, dress them in cute dress-up clothes, and pack them into the car. I got a diaper bag all ready with extra outfits for all 3 JUST IN CASE. I timed the feeding of the baby so that he could take a short nap on the way to the mall so he would be not hungry, not spitty, not tired for the photo shoot. Lily's hair was JUST SO. She was given all kinds of bribes and distractions in the car so she would not tear out her perfect hair.

We got to the mall...15 minutes early. Michael had blown through his outfit...yay me for packing an extra! I got out the stroller to put Lily in...and...oh heaven's no...I've left the Baby Bjorn behind. CRAP. So now I have one single stroller for 3 children. Okay, Andrew doesn't count, but still. CRAP. There's no turning back now, so I put Michael in the stroller and let Lily walk. Oh the humanity.

Here are my complaints about the JC Penney Portrait Studios. Apparently, they have a new camera. It takes 15 minutes to load up and get ready. But their single employee doesn't arrive until 10 am. So guess the earliest my 10am photo appointment can possibly start. 10:15. This doesn't seem like a big deal to someone who has not perfectly timed everything for 3 small children. But 15 minutes is a LIFETIME to someone like me. Michael did not sleep in the car. So we were acting on borrowed time. Lily has the patience of a fruit fly. Borrowed time, people. Then...THEN...the single employee decides to ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE. I called 4 times last Thursday and never had anyone answer the phone. But since I'm standing there with my 3 impatient children and the camera is FINALLY ready, she thought it was a great time to answer. And of course it was someone with a complaint. So it took 15 minutes. So now it's 10:30.

Michael did get his pictures taken. Andrew sat in and I got a delightful shot of the boys together. But Lily? Cute Lily with the perfect hair? By 10:30, she was devastatingly bored and throwing a tantrum on the floor. In between pulling her hair out, that is. So I pull out my bribery snack and the photographer says, get THIS, she says, "Okay, come back in 15 minutes and I'll show them to you on the computer." WHHHHAAAAAATTTTT? I'm in a GD JC Penney. What am I supposed to do with my 3 children for 15 minutes...shop??? Plus, the next people will be getting their photos by that time, and who is going to show me the pictures when there is only ONE EMPLOYEE?

But I am meek. I hate confrontation. So I wandered around the store and came back. Lily is making escape attempts constantly. Michael is fussing in the stroller. Andrew is trying to make his siblings laugh by running full speed into the walls. Oi Vey. And the lady calmly tries to tell me about their special combo shots even after I tell her that I just want the basic sheets. Dear God, can she not see my children falling apart?

It was a disaster. So I tell my Michael and my Lily and my Andrew...if you are reading this as adults and you have always made fun of your mother for not hanging beautiful portraits of her family around the house...This is why. Now you know.

Gym class warrior

(I apologize for the lack of spacing in this post. What the heck is up with Blogger? REFUSES to put spaces in. Argh)

Today, Lily had her first gym class. It's hardly a gym class...just a fun room for toddlers to run around and pretend to try new "gymnastics"-like moves. She is almost 2. By the time Andrew was almost 2, he had taken numerous classes, gone to library story-times, etc. Lily has never done anything...anything...except wait outside Andrew's classes. It's not entirely my fault. You can't bring older siblings into little kids' classes, and Andrew only had school 2 days a week last year for a few hours each day, so no classes ever fit. And the storytimes at our local library are at 1 pm...it's like they don't actually want kids to come so they plan it for the universal naptime.

I digress... Now that Andrew is going to be in school 4 days a week, I signed Lily up for a gym class. We'll do this for 10 weeks, and then I'm going to put her in a music class. Michael will tag along in the Baby Bjorn...no issues there. He'll love it as much as her. ;)

Andrew's school doesn't start until next week, so he tagged along with me. We walked into the entry way with 4 other mothers...and their 2-ish little boys...all first borns. All only children. Two of the women are pregnant. I felt like we were the friggin' circus coming to town. Oh, how I remember the days of taking classes with one child...building a whole day around that one child's schedule. Anyway, I brought my whole rag-ma-tag crew in and probably scared the CRAP out of them. Except that all 3 of my children were FABULOUS. Seriously, they make me so proud. I had explained to Andrew that this was a little kids class, so he may not be able to play, but if he could, he'd have to defer to the little ones. They let him play, and he was so gentle and kind and immediately made way for the little guys if they wanted the trampoline or the ball pit, etc. I just swelled up with pride at him...what a neat person he has turned out to be. Michael had refused to sleep that morning (see yesterday's post), but he sat in his stroller for the first half-hour without a peep. Then he went into the Bjorn and just kicked his legs and smiled.

And Lily. Oh, my Lily. She did not disappoint. She is soooooo different from her brother. She wanted to try everything. At one point she tried walking across a platform, fell through a crack and got stuck. It scared her and she cried. 10 minutes later, she was trying to do it again. It would have taken Andrew 4 weeks to even get NEAR the contraption again. She ran from obstacle to obstacle just laughing and falling and laughing some more. She is clumsy, but she had fun. I just love this little girl. It makes me want to sign her up for a million classes.

One more thing before I bore you to tears. Um, this post made me realize I have a confession to make. Up until last week, Lily always went to bed with a cup of milk. Yes, she actually slept with it. Bad Mommy, Bad Mommy. It stemmed from when I was big and pregnant and couldn't really cuddle with her before bed. That's when we used to drink the milk. So I just started plopping her into the crib with the full cup of milk. But I know this is bad and it needs to stop before I rot all her teeth out of her head. So I got up the nerve to have the fight. I had a long talk with Lily about how Mommy doesn't drink milk in bed, Andrew doesn't drink milk in bed, etc etc. She started in telling me who DOESN'T drink milk in bed. Then bedtime came. And she took her cup of water without a fight. Honestly...no problem at all. All these months I've been giving her the milk because I didn't want to listen to her cry all night. Oops. Rotted her teeth for nothing, I guess. But cut up her chicken nugget the wrong way...yikes. A colossal fit will ensue. Just proves I don't understand the toddler mind.

Attempting to capture Little Piggie-tails and her OSU outfit. Impossible.

Still trying to get a shot. She won't sit still or smile. Bugger.

My children do have a mother. I finally remembered to have Jeff take a picture with me in it. Although we are in our pj's...I don't think it's half bad.

A letter to my youngest

Dear Michael,

Hello son! You are turning 5 months old soon, and we have something that we need to discuss. I've been putting it off for a while, but the time has come to have this uncomfortable talk.

Let me start by saying you are an awesome baby. I love you so much that sometimes it makes my heart hurt. You are smiley and laid back and you hardly cry at all.

In fact, there are only 2 reasons why you cry. One, if you are hungry...I totally understand and accept this. It is my job to feed you, and you must somehow let me know when it is time to eat. Especially when you are trapped in the car seat, again, and we are running this errand and that. Sometimes Mommy needs a reminder. So that's fine.

But the 2nd reason bring us to our unfortunate discussion. See, you STILL won't lay down for a nap. You insist on being cuddled up with an adult. You have made progress, since for the first two months of your life you wouldn't EVER sleep in a crib. At least now you sleep at night. But it's time to think about napping. You are 5 months old. You are over 16 pounds. You are LONG. And most importantly, you have outgrown your infant carseat. The days of stealing naps in the car are soon going to be gone. You MUST learn to nap in your crib.

Here's how I see it. You keep grabbing 15 minute cat naps at the end of nursing sessions. You wake up IMMEDIATELY upon being laid down. That's not entirely true. Twice (in your whole life), you have slept for 25 minutes once being laid down. With this lack of sleep, you are EXHAUSTED by 5 pm. 5 pm is too early to go to bed for the night.

See, Mommy can't cuddle you for a few hours every afternoon. Don't get me wrong...I'd love to do it. But Lily and Andrew demand attention as well. And you're too heavy to be carried while you sleep. Also, our feet have begun sticking to the floor. And I think the dust bunnies are organizing. I swear they're going to have a revolt and take over the master bedroom. I can almost hear them moving around when I sleep. Someone has to start cleaning again.

Mommy needs you to nap. One in the afternoon, at least. Morning naps will never be a reality for you, I'm afraid, since Andrew has school 4 times a week and I'll be dragging you all over God's green earth (why does his school have to be only 2 1/2 hours a day?)

Okay...I feel better now that we've had this talk. If only you could understand and not cry that pitiful cry when I lay you down, sounding as if I have abandoned you on the streets of New York. I promise I'll come get you after your nap. I miss you when you're gone...I just have to be able to DO something.

Love you always,

Mommy

The downsides of the potty trained child

Changing diapers has never really bothered me. Call me crazy, but I just don't think it's one of the worst things about babies.

Andrew is potty trained. Has been for a year and a half. It's lovely. He does everything now...down to the wiping. At the risk of being too graphic, he just takes a few squares and wipes until it comes clean. Fantastic. I have enough butts to wipe. I saw no downsides.

Andrew has a slight case of "the runs" this week.

This morning, our downstairs toilet overflowed into the hallway.

Mommy tip of the day: When your child is suffering from loose stools, supervise the wiping.

Also, a bonus tip of the day: Don't throw away or donate your old bath towels. They come in handy when your downstairs is filling with toilet water.

Have a good day!