Please excuse a lack of posting

Lots will be going on, but since the baby sleeps in the computer room, there won't be many stories hitting this blog for a while. I'll try to keep track!

A family

Today was the funeral. We arrived in Ohio last night. The kids were very good, although for the entire 9 hour drive, Michael only slept 45 minutes. The other 2 kids didn't sleep at all. -sigh- How did I end up with the only 3 kids in the universe not lulled to sleep by the car?

Saying goodbye to Jeff's aunt hits me on so many levels, I am simply overwhelmed. As a wife, my heart aches for her husband...just envisioning losing Jeff just as the kids left the house and retirement plans loomed near. As a child, my heart aches for her kids...just envisioning losing my mother is almost impossibly sad. As a mother myself, my heart breaks for Bonnie and her children...I can't imagine going so young, just at the brink of the next stage of life...not getting to watch my kids and grand kids.

And yet...as I fought back tears all day, I felt a bit...I don't know...foolish. Who am I to feel this deeply about losing Bonnie? How do I deserve to shed tears when she doesn't share any blood and DNA with me? 13 years ago, I didn't even know her...and since then I've only spent a few hours with her here and there...occasionally a few days. I felt like I shouldn't be grieving like her nephews and nieces and brother and sister and husband and...heavens...her 85 year old mother who cradled her and sang to her as a baby 55 years ago. But...I am so sad to lose her. I really did love Bonnie, whether I deserved to or not.

Which brought me to this realization...which is maybe quite obvious and intuitive to most, but still... I really have fallen in love with this whole family. I didn't expect it or mean to. I fell in love with Jeff. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and that he would take a large chunk of my heart and own it forever. I knew that I would therefore be incorporated into his family by default. Whether they like it or not I was now the in-law (or the "out-law" as my dad likes to call it). But as the years have passed, I find myself caring deeply about each of them and their stories and struggles and triumphs...really feeling like they are my family. I actually see most of them more than I see my own extended family and I think watching them all love my kids has made me soften even more.

This is sounding really sappy and stupid as I type it. I think this is another of those "middle of the night inspiration" posts. I guess I just struggle with standing side by side with this close-knit family and grieving along with them. I felt the same way at Jeff's grandpa's funeral a few years back...I just feel like such a newcomer compared to most and wonder if others look at my tears and think I am insincere. But I guess what I've learned since joining this family is that it doesn't take very long to love people as if you've known them your whole life. Which seems pretty amazing to a cold fish like me. :)

Not a good start

At 6:45 this evening, the children were starting their initial wind-down to bedtime while Jeff and I started trying to figure out how we were going to pack everything and remember everything for this trip tomorrow.

At 7:00 pm, I was on my way to the ER with Andrew.

Little booger was hardly "winding down" and instead climbed up on a Rubbermaid container that I'd gotten out looking for clothes for Michael...lost his balance, fell and cracked his head on the side table.

-sigh- He is fine. It is 8:30 and we are home again...Dermabond has glued my kid's head back together again. He screamed and hollered out of pure fear of the unknown. The hospital staff was exceedingly patient. As soon as it was finished, he sat up and said, "Oh. That wasn't too bad." And then, in true Andrew fashion, proceeded to tell everyone as he left, stoically, "Sometimes when you're a kid, strange things can be scary." Uh-huh.

So...NOW I get to pack. Oh, how I love traveling with kids...

Darn you, Michael

For the second night in a row, Michael has slept from 6:30 pm to 5:30 am and then back to sleep until 8:30. What a lovely lovely sleep pattern, since I get up for the day anyway around 5:30am.

Now, let's go on a trip tomorrow and screw everything up!

New plan

Well, plans have changed. We are leaving for Ohio on Friday morning so we can say goodbye to Jeff's Aunt Bonnie.

I feel as close to her as any of my aunts. From the day I met her 13 years ago she has always been so welcoming and loving and wonderful. She has been through a lot, but I've never seen her exude anything but positivity. She made unbelievable apple pies and enjoyed life to the fullest. She showered love and affection on my kids every time we saw her and she was always sure to throw in a compliment to us as parents...showing her love and affection to us. She leaves behind 3 children, all of them well-rounded, kind, contributing people. She was going to be a grandmother for the first time this summer, and I know she would have been the best grandma ever...I think that makes me the saddest. I can't quite imagine family functions without her...she will be so missed.

So I am off to rush and pack. The kids and I will end up being in Ohio for over 2 weeks now...there was no point in going once and then back again a week later...so we're just extending our trip. I'll leave you with a picture of Aunt Bonnie...cuddling Andrew back in 2004. I think all my pictures of her are cuddling one of my babies ;)

Ten on Tuesday

Borrowing from other blogs, I think I'll present you with 10 boring things about life at our house right now...on Tuesday. ;)

1) Our coffee machine is broken. Let me rephrase...Saturday night Jeff shattered the glass coffee pot part. Sunday we got coffee at Dunkin Donuts. Then there was no sleep on Sunday night. And yesterday I had the worst headache in the afternoon. I suppose I am more dependant on my morning coffee that I realized. Jeff stopped on the way home and bought a new coffee maker (programmable, 10 cup, only $20 at Kohls!). Unfortunately, we didn't realize until we went to set it up at 9 pm that it requires coffee filter papers. My headache is already starting this morning. Or perhaps that is because of #2...

2) Andrew and Lily are DRIVING. ME. CRAZY. They alternate between playing really well together to dissolving into screaming and whining and torturing. And they alternate every 3 minutes. They are DESPERATE to play with each other, but it never ends well. I know this is just a sibling thing. What scares me is when Michael joins the mix. Here is them during a peaceful episode. Thank you pbskids.org for the crowns.


3) I haven't mentioned it here, but Andrew started flag football on Sunday. We got a postcard in the mail in January from this place. We were very hesitant to start Andrew in sports, since he can be a bad sport and since I have a huge soap box about kids being over scheduled with no time for imagination and free play. But Andrew kept asking about it. When we finally told him we thought he was too young for it, he burst into tears. We decided we were big meanies. He started...and LOVED it. He cried twice during the game...once when his mouthpiece fell out into the grass and once when a boy on the opposite team yelled and "scared" him. But to Andrew's credit, he didn't want to quit and pulled it together enough to keep playing. So I guess he is ready ;) In the pictures below, he is #9.

4) We are ready for spring. Just to be outside running around. But I'm sure that I haven't thought through all the logistics of it yet. How am I supposed to watch the crawler and keep stuff out of his mouth while watching the toddler try to kill herself on our play equipment? And when we get the kiddie pool, what do I do with Lily when I have to take Michael inside for a nap? -sigh- I guess this gets easier but still hard in different ways. Kudos to you crazy people who PLAN on this spacing for your kids. I just don't get how to do it sometimes... Here's an activity both babies can enjoy...until Lily stands up to get out. ;)

5) I went to try on bathing suits this weekend. With Lily. Ugh. I had plans to get a new Land's End suit since I'm a size 12 now (yippee!). But when I tried them on I realized something...Summer 2008, breastfeeding boobs...Summer 2007, breastfeeding/pregnancy boobs...Summer 2006, pregnancy boobs. It has been a LONG time since I've seen my "regular" sized chest. And after breastfeeding 3 babies...it ain't pretty. Halter top suits are all the rage...unfortunately, my naturally far set breasts are hanging under the arms after all this lactating. Doesn't look very good in those halters. And the sporty high chested ones look ridiculous on my...um...not-so-sporty body. -sigh- I think I'll just wear my size 14 suits again. Then at least I can blame the looking bad on the suit ;)

6) I think I'm driving my husband crazy. I know I am :) We moved to Philadelphia with the intention of staying here forever. It was the international headquarters of Jeff's company, so there were lots of facilities and plants in this area. As of April 1st, Jeff's company will be bought out by another, much larger chemical company. So it is not looking good for us to stay here. Which brings me to my "driving him crazy". There is no word of what will become of Jeff's plant or job. It could be shut down in a year or in 5 years...no idea. But I WANT TO KNOW NOW!!! Should I start preparing myself to live in Texas (blech) or the middle of nowhere Michigan (blech). Should we do the kitchen over so we can sell this place or should we NOT do the kitchen over because why bother if we are moving. Should we plan a TON of little weekend trips this summer just in case we move far away and don't have the opportunity to see Boston and NYC and DC, etc. And on and on and on. I pester Jeff for info every day, and he, of course, has no new info. Poor guy. I need a different hobby.

7) I wrote on facebook that what I do all day is "Play with the kids to avoid housework OR Do housework to avoid playing with the kids." This resonates with me...it is so true that it is sad. If the kids are sleeping or watching tv (like now), I rarely get stuff done. I do...well...THIS stuff. And if we've been playing pretend for a while (or usually just 15 minutes or so), I suddenly get the urge to clean up the dishes or wash the floor or pick up the toys. Seriously, perhaps getting a yacht and avoiding the whole motherhood thing would've been a better fit.

8) I have nothing planned for this week. No playdates, nothing. I should start getting ready for our trip to Ohio...but we don't own enough clothes to start packing, and if I buy snacks and stuff for the car, they will all be eaten before we leave. Next week should be CRAZY! But I'm really excited to go. I wish we could go for longer so we could see everybody. It's been since last June! Crazy!

9) I gave up snacking for Lent. I know, I know, I'm sure God would prefer that I actually went to church for Lent, but I thought I needed to give up snacking more. And I did really really well for about 2 weeks, and then the kids got sick and I got trapped in the house for a week and I got stir-crazy and depressed and sleep deprived. Ugh. Now I can't seem to pull myself back into good behavior. I'm just feeling Blah about life in general. Rather than being motivated to lose weight when I saw myself in a swimsuit, I felt like, Why bother? It is so hard to exercise...I can either get up at 5 am and take a walk or go walking at 7:30pm. I am exhausted at both of those times. I know it would feel good and I should just do it...but why bother? Belly dancing is great, but it is only 45 minutes one day a week...and I SUCK, so I'm not sure how much I'm getting out of it. Blah blah blah. I don't feel like reading books or doing my cross-stitch or gardening or cleaning or even showering. Just blah.

10) I decided last night that Michael can get up once a night. I know, I know...but he is not gaining weight, so if he is willing to drink 8 ounces in the middle of the night, I feel willing to give it to him. So I told Jeff before bed that I will not get up with him before 4am. At 4am, he has been in bed for 10 hours and I don't feel bad giving him a little milk to fill his belly. As if he were listening, Michael woke up screaming last night at 4:01 am. I kid you not. I waited 15 minutes to see if he'd go back to sleep, then gave him 8 ounces and put him back down. It's not perfect...but what can I say? He's my baby!

Learning how to sleep

Bad habits are hard to break. Michael has never been a great sleeper...it's just not his thing. For the first 3 months of his life, he wouldn't sleep in a crib for more than 1 hour...leaving Jeff and I up all night rocking him to sleep. Ugh. Then he wouldn't sleep in a crib during the day...AT ALL...until about 6 months of age. Then (and now) the naps are inconsistent...usually about an hour long, but sometimes just 30 minutes. And the night time...oh, Lordy...the night. Michael has slept all night long (think 12 hour stretch) about 3 times total. He was in an acceptable pattern for a while where he would go to bed at 6pm, wake between 3-4am to eat, and then sleep until 6:30 or 7. I was okay with this, because, DEAR HEAVENS, he was going to bed at 6pm. How loverly.

But you know how it is with babies. They get sick. You get up with them because you feel so sorry for them and you want to take care of them. They get used to falling asleep with Mommy cuddled up close. They get healthy. You no longer want to get up 4 times a night...but try telling that to the infant. Um, HELLO? Free cuddles with Mom? Plus, I am a big wuss with the cry-it-out for this 3rd child. Sleep is way too precious to waste listening to a baby cry for hours in the middle of the night. The other children sleep great, so they'll be raring to go the next day. Etc etc...

Michael was quite sick recently. He is quite better. We aren't even doing the nebulizer anymore. Last night he was up crying at 2 am. Before I even knew what I was doing, I was in his room with a bottle and a cuddle. My thought was, "If he cries himself to sleep now, he'll just be up again at 4...so I might as well get up just once." But, alas, Michael woke up at 4 anyway. Jeff tried to rock him (no offense...but worthless), and I decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We are going to Ohio in 2 weeks and I cannot be getting up multiple times a night with a ONE YEAR OLD.

So this morning at 4 am I got mean. And Michael cried until 6am when I finally caved and brought him in another bottle. He is now sleeping peacefully, with only an occasional post-crying-jag hiccup interrupting his sleep. Me, on the other hand? The other children were up at 6:30. No sleep for the weary. I figure, I'm already sleep deprived because of last week's illness...we'll just keep it going. And maybe...just MAYBE...Michael will actually learn how to sleep.

Lily low and HIGH

2 episodes of "The Lily Show"

Episode #1...this morning at breakfast.
As of late, Lily feels the need to inform me how many pieces of waffle she has left on her plate. There MUST be a response to each update, or else the angry girl will continue to demand attention and will forget to keep eating said waffle. This morning she announces, "Mommy! I have 2 waffles!" And I respond, "Wow! What a great eater you are!" And she screams at the top of her lungs, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOO GOOD EATER.. NOOOOOO." To which I sarcastically say, "Oh, I mean you are a terrible eater. What a horrible eater you are." And Lily nods her head and humphs in triumph. Boy, she showed me. (meanwhile Andrew snickers over his mini-wheats and circles his pointer finger at his temple...thank God someone understands my sarcasm).

Episode #2...this evening after dinner.
Lily brings the Madagascar 2 movie case over to Jeff and asks to watch it. I am feeding Michael in the next room and pipe in, "Lily already watched that movie today." And Lily tells Jeff, "I watch 2 times." He tickles her and generally tries everything in his power to distract her from the power of Madagascar 2. After 5 minutes or so, she brings him the case again. Jeff says, "Mommy says you already watched this today." And she responds matter of fact, "But Yiddy says watch 2 times." Which doesn't sound nearly as funny typed out as it was in person. I was CRYING I was laughing so hard. We are in so much trouble with this one. (for the record...she did NOT watch the movie again)


And finally, another Lily brag. I know, I know, you don't want to hear it. But it's my blog. I'll brag if I want to. I know that Lily knows her letters. She enjoys that LeapFrog fridge thingy and so she knows all her letters and the sounds that they make. She is starting to know what letter words start with (as in, "what does monkey start with...muh..muh...and she'll say m...)Although she only knows one vowel sound for each vowel...but I'm not worried. I think she'll get it eventually...so we only do the flashcards 3 times a day (kidding...kidding...note sarcasm). Anyhoo, a few days ago she was eating Cheerios (why can't they add veggies to these?). She pointed to the letters on the box and said, "C-H-E-E-R-I-O-S...that says Cheerios". Now what REALLY amazed me about this is that only the C is in capital letters. Which means she knows her lower case letters. Um...? It never ceases to amaze me how these little sponges just out of the blue know things. Perhaps all those hours of television a day aren't so bad after all. Thank you PBS!

Fighting

Right now they are fighting over whether a daffodil is yellow or green.

Seriously.

Fresh air

Well, everyone is perking up here at Typhoid Mary's house. Except for Jeff. But he hardly counts, right? Just kidding...he's just a little congested in the mornings when he wakes up. And to his credit, he hasn't complained to me even ONCE. He probably sees the crazy glint in my eye when I hear him cough and thinks better of asking me for sympathy.

Michael got the "all clear" at the doctor's yesterday. We have a complicated system of when to take him off each respective medicine, and he is improving by leaps and bounds. Except for the whole eating thing. Argh. Lily is still oozing dark yellow goop, but she doesn't seem any more irritable than a normal 2 year old. This, to me, is the hardest age to gage illness. She is always crabby and sensitive...so I'm trying to guess if she is MORE crabby and sensitive than usual. Crapshoot. Andrew is doing fine. His nighttime cough has faded into memory and he is getting his excess energy out in the great outdoors.

Speaking of the great outdoors...this whole 3 children thing still frustrates me at times. Many times. (Disclaimer: I love all 3 of my kids...adore them in fact. I know how lucky I am in their temperaments and personalities and I find each one of them an incredible blessing. Never for even a second do I wish that one of them would go live somewhere else. Except for Lily...but that's just the 2 year old I want away, not actually LILY. You get me? )

So yesterday was GORGEOUS. It only got to about 60 degrees, and the wind was a bit chilly, but after winter those little details hardly matter. But I felt trapped by the conflicting schedules of 3 children...and it makes me wonder how I will enjoy this summer. I realize that all the issues will be solved in a few years when nobody takes naps...but ACK! No naps! That is nearly as frightening. Here's our day...and why I felt trapped...

Michael has a follow up doctor's appointment at 8:30 am. I was amazed at what a hassle it was getting the kids out the door a mere 30 minutes earlier than usual. Of course, Lily had decided to sleep in (for the first time in her life) until 7:45.

After doctor's appointment we take Andrew over to pre-school. After loading the kids back into the car at 9:20, I decide to go to Target to do some Easter shopping, since both the littles slept in and Michael wouldn't be needing his morning nap until late.

Spend WAY more time at Target than I needed to, mostly because Lily was throwing tantrums every 5 minutes or so. Not that I blame her. It was really evil to shop for Easter and not let her have any of the fun stuff. Michael did really well in the cart until the end, when he was fading fast.

With only one hour until pick up time (I really can't wait until buses come pick up my child), I couldn't take Michael home to nap. So we drove home to get the double stroller (which I'd taken out for the previous nice day). Michael took a 5 minute nap. I get the stroller, realize that I need carrots for my dinner that night, and decide to walk from the grocery to Andrew's school to get him. Fun! Nice day. Lily was less than thrilled at going to the grocery and cried the entire time we were in there. Then I realized that even though I could throw a stone from the grocery store and hit Andrew's school, there were no sidewalks around the fencing and I would have to maneuver my double stroller on a windy fairly busy street to get to the parking lot. Bummer. Load the littles back into the van...drive .8 miles...unload again in the pre-school parking lot.

Get Andrew. Go home for lunch and to put Mikey down for a nap. He is desperately tired at this point. Just as Lily is fed and ready for her nap, Mike decides to wake up. A 45 minute nap. Awesome (note sarcasm). So Lily sleeps while Michael wanders around a whines (he won't eat or sleep...I wonder why he's grouchy). Andrew is wandering around our yard alone. Michael is so tired he is irritated by the grass, the sun, etc, so we stay inside. I finally get him to drink some milk and lay him down for another nap. At that moment, Lily wakes up. Awesome. She wants to go for a walk in her wagon. I try to explain that Michael is napping, we can't leave him in the house while we go to the park. We play in the yard, with me checking on Mike every 15 minutes (our cheap-o monitor doesn't work outside). Michael finally wakes up at 4:30, but the wind is really whipping now. We suffer through it anyway and attempt that walk that everyone has been itching to do. But then the neighborhood boys come out and Andrew flits away and Lily finds a big stick and flits away and Michael tries to eat my crocuses.

Jeff comes home. We make dinner and wait for bedtime.

-sigh- All I wanted to do was take the kiddos to a park. It just didn't happen. It will happen on another day...the stars just didn't align correctly today. I just get frustrated (still?) that I can't do things the way they play out in my head. That has nothing to with number of children you have...just having a child screws with planning. You'd think I'd be used to it by now...

The positives? We did spend a lot of time outside. We have a very nice yard, so it wasn't bad at all. Michael is really really fun, because everything is new and seeing those purple flowers for the first time in his life brought the biggest cheek cracking smile I've ever seen. And Lily was entertained by a stick. A stick! For about 40 minutes. And Andrew managed to invite himself into a game with older neighborhood boys. And they let him! And they had fun! Makes me proud. So it was a good day. Just stir-crazy me wanted a walk. I should just shut up and be grateful for what I've got. ;)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Courtesy of our Real Live Born on the Island Irish Relative (thank you Uncle Colum), I wish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day.

He might not have much Irish blood in him, but boy, he is strong!

A nicer smile

Lily smiles too...I love the shirt...

Michael changed out of the Texas weather appropriate St. Patty's Day outfit into a more...um...Northern outfit. Not as cute...but warmer.

Lily's first "tooth" smile caught on camera!

And just to show you how many shots it takes to get 3 kids in a picture, I present....The out-takes...


Andrew takes modeling lessons from Lily

Michael WOULD NOT STOP MOVING. Take note that this is the same baby who has been listlessly lying about whining for the last 4 days. 2 doses of his new meds and he woke up this morning feeling much better. 'Roids Rock!

The "solemn" picture...

The "get me the heck down from here" shot

Cute shot of Lily's hairdo?

The "who the heck is restraining me?" shot

This is actually pretty cute...I wonder why I put it in the "outtakes?" It does seem oddly reminiscent of those "Have you had your V-8 today" commercials.

Mayday...Mayday...

Oh. My. God. I am such a wimp.

I HATE staying at home. I am the worst "stay-at-home" mother ever in existance.

We are entering day 7 of Operation "Stay at home with sick kids."

I can feel my mental state cracking wide open.

Took Michael back to the doctor. Since last appointment, his eyes have started gumming shut, he has diarrhea, he is coughing like mad, he is pulling his ears, and he is not eating. Okay, so we are forcing down about 16 ounces of formula a day...but that's nothing!

Diagnosis? He's got a bug...bad. Now he's on steroids for his lungs, antibiotics for his ear/sinus infection, and nebulizer (which seems like a hoax...I swear he's been on it since January and it does nothing...). He's lost a pound this past week...back down to 18 1/2 pounds.

This morning I was getting up with him at 2:30 am and I wrenched my neck. I am now in agonizing pain when I move my head or pick up things. Which is a problem since Michael wants to be carried around all the time.

Andrew is coughing so I decided to keep him home from school. Really it was just so I didn't have to load and unload the kiddies 2 more times today.

Lily is a BEAR. Still coughing and running out the nose. She is 2 to the 10th degree today. Not helped by her grouchy-ouchy-sleep deprived mommy and her bored annoying brother.

They don't even want to watch tv anymore (although they are watching it right now because I've bribed them with chocolate chip cookies At 10am). But I can't do much with them because I'm constantly pacing with Mikey, who can't seem to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time. So they fight. So I yell. So we go around and around.

-sigh- It's only been a week. I'm a wimp. I don't think they'd call this a state of emergency yet. ;) Can you imagine how I'd react to an ACTUAL state of emergency?

For Monica

I saw Uncle Chad ever so briefly last night as he breezed through our area with his high school students (from Texas!). Andrew got to spend a bit more time with him and had a blast. Chad requested a photo for Monica, so here it is:

He thinks it is quite funny to be wearing Texas stuff...normally he is in scarlet and gray.

Can you tell Andrew was down below trying to make him laugh? I should have given him the camera.

Rather than watch Calliou, I will post...

My new favorite picture of Andrew and Lily. Doesn't Lily look all grown up in this picture. Too bad Mikey was not included...who knew that Lily would cooperate?

There's Michael! This is the hippo tank at the aquarium. Michael was THRILLED to see the fish up close and personal.

"Check it out, Mom!"

Michael was not so thrilled about the shark tank. The sharks all were swimming way up at the top, so he could only see an empty tank. Booooo-ring.

Andrew in a shark. Nice facial expression. If I hadn't taken the picture I might not have recognized him in this shot.

On a nice day last weekend, we had the front door open and Michael immediately began enjoying the view (just like Lily did at his age). Andrew couldn't resist and joined him.

Oh, those brothers. Melt my heart, why don't you?

Feeling sick and yucky, but still smiling. What a trooper. Hopefully this asthma medicine will help him get rid of the chronic wheezing and coughing that he's had since early January. If he's this happy while he's sick, I can't imagine what he'll be like when he feels good.

Sicko #1 and Sicko #2 taking their daily "bring-the-low-grade-fever-down" bath. They don't usually get to bathe together, and they have been having a blast. Michael enjoys finding Lily's toes under the water and Lily enjoys...well...Lily enjoys watching Michael get water poured over his head. Misery loves company.

Nice smile Lily.

Just couldn't get the two of them looking at the camera together.

Must go deal with the whiners. Have a good day!

Will blog later...

My children are too needy to allow me to blog. I have time to blog...but they are sucking the creativity out of me. Lily=double ear infection and chronic whinyness Michael=never-ending cough which is now considered asthma? and chronic whinyness. Andrew=perfectly healthy and chronic boredness due to siblings whinyness

Will feel creative later. Must go pick up whining child now. And keep bored child from destroying something as his entertainment.

Feminine products...

Today was a milestone of sorts. Of the insignificant sort of gross sorts. Of the "noone cares but me" sorts. I finished my jumbo box of tampons. It was a multipack from Costco that I bought in December 2005. That's right... I haven't bought tampons since December 2005. So if you want more kids, but your husband isn't sure...just tell him about the savings on feminine products! I mean, who cares about the costs of another pregnancy when you think of the dollars (10s of dollars) that you'll save!

And my new ones are so different! Apparently they change the design of packaging in 3 years. Go figure...

Tasha

Lily is newly obsessed with The Backyardigans. I purchased 2 CDs for the car, because I like the music from the show. At least more than Elmo. Lily had never even seen the show...but she started to recognize the music. I started to DVR the show. She fell in love.

It may have gone too far. Today we walked into pre-school to pick up Andrew and she yelled, "Pablo! Pablo! It's me! Tasha!"

She has kept in character all day. And I am Uniqua (EEE-Qua). And Andrew is Pablo. And Michael is Donald (?)

Having a girl is different. Or at least Lily is.

Some thoughts

Lily has found a new sleeping position. She likes to sleep with her Night-night on top of her face. I don't know how we discovered it, but there she was one day...under her lovey. She even laughs about it in the morning when she gets us, "Mommy, Nigh-nigh seepin' on my face! ha ha ha" Strange girl. Last night she was screaming in the middle of the night...I'm assuming because of a bad dream (nothing else seemed wrong). After I rubbed her chest a few times and told her it was okay now, I asked her if she'd like me to sing to her. She sleepily said no and then pulled her night-night back over her face. Like in the movies when people slowly pull those eye covers back over. So funny. Even at 1:30 am.

Mike likes pizza. We had it delivered a few nights ago, and he couldn't get it in his mouth fast enough. He and Lily each polished off an entire piece. At this rate, we're going to have to order more than one pizza. (I know...in a few years it will be a pizza for each kid...yikes).

He has also decided that baby food will not enter his mouth. If it is pureed veggies or fruit or cereal he purses his lips together and refuses to open for anything. So I have this huge box of baby food jars and boxes of baby cereal from BJ's that are now useless. But offer him "big people" food and he will eat for EVER. In fact, I feel like in a 24 hour period he spends 1/2 of the time sleeping, 1/4 of the time eating. I swear he is eating at least 6 hours a day. It's crazy. Last night he had 4 strawberries, a chicken nugget, 2 crackers, a girl scout cookie, and 8 ounces of milk for dinner.

By the way...these smiles were totally unprompted. He was literally grinning like an idiot the whole time he was eating pizza. It was a little piece of Nirvana for the boy.

Oh, Lily. We're getting closer to a smile for the camera, but now instead of just the head tilt, it is a dental check. And on that note...Lily is FINALLY getting her canines. I can see the tips of the ones on top just starting to peek through. Aren't they supposed to get those around a year? Um...Lily is almost 2 1/2 and still has 4 gaps where those teeth are supposed to be.

Andrew has been an emotional basket case this past week. Tantrums...full-on thrashing on the floor...the likes which haven't been seen since he was 3. He's just crabby and emotional and unpredictable. Please tell me puberty hasn't started yet. Yesterday he refused to get dressed for school...or brush his teeth...or eat breakfast...just didn't want to do what needed to get done. I actually said, "I am going to NOT see you between the hours of 9:15 and 11:45 today, no matter what. Either I can NOT see you while you are having fun at school, or I can NOT see you while you spend the time alone in your room. Your choice." If you are on the Mother of the Year committee, you can e-mail me to let me know about my award.

And I know we are all bored and stir-crazy and full of cabin fever. I KNOW. That is the name of the game in March...everyone is sick of being cozily trapped in their home. But do we have to fight over EVERYTHING? Constantly tease each other? Can't we play together? I swear that 10 times a day Lily asks me to play neighbor ("mommy? Play neighbor? You be Daisy and I be Minnie?"). And 10 times a day Andrew asks me to play neighbor ("mom? Can we play neighbor now?). Don't you think they are a match made in heaven? But NOOOOOOO. They won't play neighbor together...just with me. Arghhhhh.

Here's a little tape of the tail end of an "oatmeal tantrum". She had been crying and carrying on so I decided to get it on tape. You know, to pull out when she is whining about her own toddler is a freak of nature. ;) As you will see, almost the instant the camera turned on, she calmed down. I think I may have found a new tactic for stopping tantrums. And I did use my sister's idea of adding milk so that her oatmeal would be ready quicker...but then I realized that Lily needs to learn that not everything in life is instant gratification. I watched Lily so pleased and TRIUMPHANT that she didn't have to wait, and I immediately envisioned being at a restaurant and getting hot food and her having a MONSTER tantrum. And I decided that I would rather wage this battle at home over oatmeal rather than elsewhere. And after several days of time outs and hot oatmeal, when she starts to hyperventilate because her breakfast isn't ready, I give her a stern look and she says, "Mommy not mad? Me not go to time-out. Yiddy have milk and wait." Atta girl...let's start getting the message.

My parents

Okay, so this post made me want to brag a little on my parents. :) I love hearing about people who live so close to their parents and spend all that time with them. It makes my heart ache with all the "what if?"s, but I'm glad to hear that some people are living that life. I know there are probably some inconveniences attached with living close to your family...but with my family, I just think they would be worth it.

I was always (am still?) a momma's girl. I think I cried in the Principal's office for the first week of Kindergarten, I was so traumatized about leaving my mother's side. I vividly remember crying outside of middle school (yes, MIDDLE SCHOOL) because my mother was late picking me up...like 5 minutes late. And although I went to college only 45 minutes from my parents' home, my mother came to visit me SEVERAL TIMES in the first month of school to try and get me through my homesickness. I was 18 years old. Still a momma's girl (and daddy's girl).

So of all people to move away from their hometown...I was not a strong pick. I always dreamed of moving right back to my parents' suburb and meeting a local boy and raising my family near their grandparents...happily ever after. Part 1 was seemingly achieved...while Jeff was not from Cincinnati, he at least was from Ohio. And his family has been in Ohio since before the American Revolution...so surely he would want to stay. And then he got the job offer in California. And we took it. Because it would only be for a few years and it was a fast track (let's all laugh together, now, shall we?)

I cried on the way to the hotel mere hours after we were married. I was LEAVING MY FAMILY. Over the next year, it didn't get any better. But even though we had moved thousands of miles away, my parents were there. My dad counseled Jeff in how to deal with me and my mom came whenever she could to just be with me...even though she still had a child in high school that needed her. Money was tight...California is damn expensive...especially for two little mid-western babies totally unprepared for the new standards (what? our apartment doesn't have a fridge? we didn't budget for that?). It also didn't help that every 9 months or so, I would change jobs...and each job's pay was progressively worse pay. They were there for us when we needed it...they always knew when the situation was dire.

Jeff and I have a successful marriage and a wonderful life. I attribute this directly to our parents (yes, Jeff's parents could be substituted in every situation above). We are truly blessed by their example of how a marriage succeeds through love and compromise, how to live modestly but comfortably, where to set your priorities. Their support and love has gotten us through many many moves, unexpected career changes, unexpected surprises (hello, Mike!), and so much more. How do you ever sufficiently tell someone thank you for all of that? How can you sound sincere in your humbled thanks?

I remember one week in the "early years" in CA, Jeff was in a car wreck, our washer died, and our dishwasher died...all in the same week. My parents sent a check for a large amount to help us out. I HATE accepting monetary gifts, because I feel like I shouldn't be a burden on my parents anymore...for heavens sake, I'm an adult!

And, knowing me so well, he attached a note to the check that said, "I know you feel bad about getting this. But you can pay me back...someday, when your kids need a lift...send them a check."

So that is how I vow to pay back all my parents' (and Jeff's) help and love and favors. By passing it along to Andrew, Michael, and Lily someday. With no strings attached...just because I love them and want them to succeed and be happy.

Lily the crazy chick

7 more months. 7 more months. 7 more months. Until she is 3. Can we survive the 2's?

I really REALLY have a hard time with much that comes with the age of "2". Three's aren't a walk in the park, but I feel they are a bit more rational with some more understandable speech thrown in for good measure. (I know, Linda..."terrific twos" and "tantalizing threes" and "fantastic fours"...and on and on...you are a better mother than me...let's just leave it at that).

So Lily is almost, ALMOST 2 years 5 months. Today she had a huge HUGE tantrum first thing in the morning...for the 4th day in a row. All four days about the same thing...her oatmeal is too hot. Lily only eats about 5 foods...and right now she wants oatmeal and only oatmeal for breakfast. But oatmeal must be heated to be cooked, and this is UNACCEPTABLE. I, being the loser mother that I am, also add sprinkles on the top of her oatmeal (which may be why she wants oatmeal every morning...so sue me...one teaspoon of sprinkles=one bowl of good wholesome oatmeal in her tummy=so totally worth it). This morning, our conversation went like this...once she was done screaming to have it out of the microwave.

*Microwave beeps*
Lily- Oh-meal ready yet?
Me- It still too hot. -sings- "oh yes it's too hot, too hot, too hot for Lily" (in a feeble attempt to distract her)
L- AHHHHHHHHHH. OH-MEAL OH-MEAL
M- Lily, it needs to cool off. Do you want a yogurt until it's ready?
L- UP UP UP IN CHAIR. OH-MEAL-OH-MEAL (full on thrashing on the floor ensues...boys watch half interested...her tantrums don't even phase them...)
*after a minute of thrashing*
L-Oh-meal ready yet?
M- Nope still too hot. Should I add an ice cube.
L-NO NO NO. EAT OH-MEAL NOW. OH-MEAL OH-MEAL.
M- Okay. Here's your oatmeal. It's too hot...but you can discover that for yourself.
L-SPINKLES SPINKLES NEED SPINKLES
*I put sprinkles on top, warning her that it is too hot to eat*
*Lily put a spoonful up to her lips*
L- TOO HOT. AHHHHHHHHH. OH-MEAL TOO HOT. NEED ICE NEED ICE.
M-Here's the ice. Let's stir it in.
L- SPINKLES GONE. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.
*thrashing ensues*
*Lily goes in time-out to calm down.

So THAT is fun...Terrific Twos. I honestly am glad that my "oops" baby came when Lily was 18 months old. She was still pleasant and easy-going...for Lily anyway. I really admire parents who have their kids 2 years apart...which is A LOT of them. How do you deal with this craziness and power struggle when you are only sleeping a few hours a night? Seriously...Lily would have to go LIVE with my MIL.

We had some neighbors over (it was a snow day), went sledding in the backyard, made froot loop necklaces and then it was time for lunch. Lily had eaten her body weight in Froot Loops, so I wasn't expecting much. We made chicken nuggets for the older kids and a pb&j for my friend's 2 year old. Through it all, I kept asking Lily if she wanted anything to eat. At first she requested a Yo-baby yogurt, but soon left it untouched at the kitchen table. As I made the other lunches, I'd keep asking and she would continue playing and calmly tell me she didn't want to eat. The second, THE SECOND my butt hit the chair to eat my sandwich, she came running into the kitchen hollering for food as if she'd just arrived from 40 days in the desert. The conversation went like this:

Lily- Mommy, need sam-ich. Cheese sam-ich.
Me- You still have a yogurt you didn't finish. Would you like that first.
L-NO NO NO CHEESE SAM-ICH! PEESE. PEESE CHEESE SAM-ICH.
M-Okay, but this is the last thing I'm making you. (I am suspicious already because she has never before asked for a cheese sandwich before)
*I stand up from my chair and begin walking towards the food prep area of the kitchen*
L-Ready yet? Cheese sam-ich ready yet?
M- Lillian Jeannette. I haven't even gotten to the fridge yet. NO, it isn't ready yet.
L- AHHHHHHHHHHHH! CHEESE SAM-ICH! AHHHHHHH!
*after a few minutes, I serve her a cheese sandwich.
L- No yike it. No yike sam-ich. Want deese (pointing at Doritos)
M-No. You have to eat something healthy first.
L- Want apples and peanut butter.
M- No. You have the yogurt and the sandwich you asked for. Eat one of those and you can have apples.
*Huge fit ensues. Lily ends up eating nothing*

These are just 2 of the many tantrums that she had today. She WEARS ME OUT. She doesn't get me as angry as Andrew did...I'm much better at just walking around her or ignoring the tantrum. But still...it wears me out.

Then when I was putting her to bed, she started getting all angry because her shirt got stuck on her head as I was taking it off. Apparently, she thinks that having a shirt on her head makes her a princess (?). Here's that conversation:

Lily- No WANNA be pin-cess.
Me- Lily, you are so grouchy.
L- Not grouchy. No not grouchy.
M- Yes you are. You're always scowling and angry. Look you're angry now. Why are you so angry?
L- Want my oh-meal.

To which I laughed and laughed. Silly girl. It's a good thing you're cute!

Bragging alert...

Momma is seriously proud over here...so don't read on if you don't want to read some shameless bragging. :) That's the nice thing about a blog...I can brag without worrying that it sounds like an implied insult. As if by publicly noticing that my child is doing something new I am also publicly noticing that your child is NOT. -sigh-

So...what to brag about? Where do I begin...

Last night, sign language "clicked" with Michael. I did sign language for Andrew at about a year, because he was getting so angry and whiny at the dinner table. I taught him to sign "more", "all-done", "milk", "eat", and "please" and "thank you". It worked so incredibly well...he was much less frustrated. Loved it. So I did it again with Lily...starting a little earlier than a year. She didn't learn quite as many signs..."more" was never needed (have I mentioned she doesn't like to eat?) and when I started to teach her "thank you", she started saying it instead...so sign language was shelved.

I started doing the signs for more and all done with Mikey at about 9 months. Usually he just laughed at me, like I was a clown doing a dinner show for him. A few weeks ago, he started waving bye bye, and then at the kitchen table, everything became a wave. When I would sign "all-done", he would wave at me. "more" was the same thing. Like he understood that he was communicating with me, but he just couldn't figure out the signs. Last night...it clicked. I asked him if he wanted more and did the sign. He pushed his hands together in a baby version. I clapped and cheered and congratulated him. He BEAMED. So we did it again and again. He also did the all done sign...again in a baby version...but still a distinct sign.

This morning, he was eating scrambled egg, and when his tray was empty, he would clearly do the "more" sign. And the COOLEST thing is when I would give him more, he was so so so happy. Like he was thinking, "Finally! I'm getting through to them!" So so so proud of him. Smart baby!


What else? Oh! How could I forget! Andrew is reading! Really reading. We checked out some beginner reading books at the library this week and he is READING them. Now, I know that every child learns to read...it is not that unique or special. But I love reading so much, that I think it is doubly exciting to me to watch my child grasp this concept. Now HE can do it. I just about jump up and down every time he figures out a word. And the newest thing is that he doesn't get frustrated when he has trouble with a word...just keeps plugging away at it. This is a HUGE step for Andrew. So proud of him!


Oh! And Andrew still shows his math skills in strange ways. We were playing a computer game together. You run a farm and have to sell eggs, cheese, etc. to earn money. So our goal for one board was to earn $10,000. Our bank read $7,400. We sent our truck to the city to sell our products...it was carrying $3,500 worth of goods. Andrew watches the truck drive away with the number on it, and he says, "YES! When it gets back we'll have reached our goal!" I glanced at him with shock and said, "How do YOU know?" And he says quite confidently, "Those two numbers together are more than $10,000." Pretty cool...So proud of him!


Lily is walking down steps by herself! I know, I know...this is a skill for like 18 month olds. But let's keep in mind that she didn't even walk until 17 months AND she is still way ahead of Andrew. So proud of her!

Lily was playing with a coveted toy at playgroup last Friday. Another boy wanted it, and Lily was quite upset. I told her she could have it a few more minutes and then it was Tommy's turn. She listened for my timer and then calmly gave it to him. So proud! And at the drug store this week, she fingered all the gum/candy at the check-out line without taking anything out...and then left without a fight. And she has been walking in the grocery store and parking lots...never runs away and always listens. So so so proud of her. She can be a spaz...but she has such potential!

Okay. That's all I can think of right now. Tomorrow I'll think of something funny to write. ;)