I am a very logical person. I logically know that evil can appear any time, any place. That being at school is the 2nd safest place for my children. I mean...if a shooter appeared at the grocery store while I was shopping with them, I'm pretty sure I would be the only one trying to shield and protect my children. While they are at school, every single adult present would do everything in their power to keep them safe.
I know this logically. And so I was not afraid to send my children to school yesterday. I spoke with Andrew and Lily about it before school, assuming that they would hear about it from other students. I stressed that I felt their school was safe and they should feel safe there also. I stressed that if they were to learn anything from this tragedy, it is to listen to your teachers, and always do what they tell you...even if it seems really strange at the time (like climb into this cabinet and stay quiet). Trust your teachers. They love you. Trust your school. They want to protect you.
And then I took them to school, because Monday is cello day, and Andrew hates maneuvering that monster on and off the bus. (side note: encourage your child to pick violin, not cello). And I smiled and kissed Andrew as he waltzed into school.
And then I drove away choking back tears.
WHY?
No amount of logic can quell all of that Momma Bear instinct. Even though I logically knew school is safe...I wanted my baby bear where I could see him. Touch him. Hug him close. Throw my body in front of his to save him.
I shoved it down pretty quick. Logic took over. I refuse to live in fear.
And when I picked him up yesterday afternoon, he practically shouted, "I had a GREAT day at school today. My cello teachers said..." all the while Lily was chirping about her new sight word and how they got to finished their movie from Friday and...
I'm glad they went to school. And I am so so so grateful to their amazing teachers who made it a fun and wonderful December day of school for them. Just like normal.
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