Letters

I used to love to get letters.  I still have some of the little notes that my mom would occasionally leave for me.  Sometimes she would even write me a long letter, just telling me why I was special and how much she loved me.  For a sensitive kids like myself, it meant a lot.

Now it is all technology.  While I have a box full of letters that Jeff and I wrote to each other, my kids will have lost their silly professions of love to the texting abyss.  Sure, those letters are ridiculous.  But it reminds me of when our feelings were fresh and new and raw and so sparkling with electricity.  I'm sad that my kids will not have that reminder when their relationships move into the comfortable and lovely later stages.

I am leaving my children for 11 days.  I am not nervous about it.  I know that I will not miss them much for the first 4 days.  I think it will get much harder after that...except that I will be distracted by all the amazing things that I will be doing in France.

But they won't have such distractions.  So I am leaving them each a letter.  They may be too little to need them...and they may never care anyway.  But I am trying to be as good a mommy as my mom always has been.  And I need to take the opportunity to tell them as often as I can, and as concretely as a letter is, that I love them.  So although I am typing them here for my own memories, I will put them in an envelope and leave each one on their pillows when we leave on Thursday.

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Hi, Michael!
I love you!  I miss you!
Have a lot of fun with Grandma, Grandpa, Memere, and Pepere.  Do not play too many computer games!  Grandma can help read the rest.
   Do you know how much I love you, Michael?  You are so clever.  That means you are a really good problem solver.  I think that you could figure out how to do anything you put your mind to.  I also love how you can make me laugh.  You are so friendly and fun and I am so glad you are mine.
   Be a good listener while I am gone, and help Grandma and Memere find stuff.  Try not to fight too much with Andrew and Lily.  Remember that a big hug can solve almost anything.  So if you are feeling sad...ask for a hug.
I love you very much!

Mom

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Hi, Lily!
I love you! I miss you!
   I know you are going to have lots of fun with Grandma, Grandpa, Memere, and Pepere.  Remember, if you are feeling sad, they will gladly give you a big hug and cuddle.  We have learned that a big hug solves lots of problems, right?
   Just in case you need to hear your Mom's words, here are a few:
   I feel so very lucky that you are my daughter.  Every day I look at you and can't believe you are mine!  You are thoughtful and kind, which makes me so proud.  I love that you are always up for an adventure and can make any outing fun.  You are super smart and most importantly a hard worker.
    I will still bug you to brush your hair and pick up your socks and tell you not to drop things.  I'm your mother...it's my job!  But I don't expect you to be perfect...you aren't supposed to be.  I will always love you, no matter what.
Love,love,love you,

Mom.

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Hi, Andrew!
I love you!  I miss you!
   Do you know how proud I am of you?  Even if you weren't my kid, I would be amazed by you.  You have always been smart.  But that doesn't make it any less amazing.  You have been blessed with a big old brain...in a noggin hard like a diamond to protect it.  This year you have made me even prouder.  You aren't relying on your natural smarts...you are working really hard and challenging yourself.
    I love you, and you are amazing, but you aren't perfect.  You aren't supposed to be!  But I will still bother you to put your laundry away and get high grades and to bathe regularly and to HANG UP YOUR TOWEL!!!.  Because I am your mother, and that's what I am supposed to do.  Just know I don't expect you to be perfect.  I will always love you...no matter what you do.
    Enjoy your week with Grandma + Grandpa and Memere+Pepere.  I know you are going to be helpful and loving, because that is just who you are.
    Even if you can't talk to me, know I am thinking of you all the time.  Jot down notes so you won't forget to tell me stuff!
Love you so much,

Mom.