I fluctuate between feeling really pleased and really guilty. Really pleased that my children have learned how to entertain themselves for hours on end. Imagination and creativity are such important tools to have. Then I swing over and feel guilty that Andrew really isn't interacting with his own age group much, we aren't doing any cool science experiments or tree journals or independent studies like I had planned. I make sure the kids do their "homework" every day, so we don't fall completely off track with writing and reading...but that's about all the structure we have. Will Andrew go back to school stunted socially? What will he write about when they ask him "What did you do this summer?"
But whatever. We have all year to be scheduled. We're just going with it.
It is fall activity scheduling time. There is much pressure around these parts (maybe everywhere?) that your child be introduced and exposed to many many activites. I get asked all the time...Is Andrew doing...? Piano lessons. Sports. Swim lessons. Scouts. Religious education. Foreign language classes. And that is just for Andrew. It is...overwhelming. Financially. Time wise. Overwhelming. I want to introduce my kids to all these things...who knows what they will like! But I do not wish to live my life running from one thing to the next. I don't want Lily and Michael's childhood spent waiting in fields and cafeterias and car seats. I want my kids to play in the backyard and go to bed at a decent time and to have family dinners around the table. I think these wishes will be impossible when Andrew AND Lily AND Michael have activities on different nights. So I should just embrace it now, right? Except for the whole cost of everything. I don't know how we would even fund all those activities for all those even if we wanted to. Swim lessons, $50/month. Dance, $55/month. Gymnastics, $60/month. Piano, $100/month. Soccer, $200/season. Spanish, $45/month. Not including equipment costs. Ugh. Everyone else seems to do it, but I can't think too hard on why we can't.
I know I just need to be confident in what we're doing now. What works for THIS family. Doing activities that the children request and show interest in and not worry about exposing them to everything. Andrew's doing a Lacrosse camp this week because it is the one thing he wanted to do this summer. Lily will do dance in the fall, because it is something she really wants. Do I wish they would play piano? Yes. But no one is interested. Yet.
If I signed them up for everything, they would complain as adults that they were too busy and stretched thin. If I follow my current path, they will complain that they missed out on all the good scholarships because I never put them in golf or whatever. I think as a parent you can't win. So I'll do what I'm comfortable with, I guess. So at least one of us is happy in the end ;)
Here's some photos of us bumming around...
6 comments:
It IS important to have a balance between exposing kids to different activities and yet still letting them just be kids for a while. Letting creativity blossom will help them in every stage of life.
I think my boys might be the only 4and 5 yr olds I know who haven't done t-ball (yet). For us too, finances play a major role- especially right now. Both boys started asking about soccer (which they participated in once before) so this fall, it will either be t-ball or soccer. I focused on swim lessons this summer b/c I think that is really important in terms of water safety and having a skill they will use no matter what. Finding the right mix for your family is the way to go, IMHO. Our summer has been pretty relaxed too...let's not worry about it! And anyway, we still have August to ramp up for school. We start early, August 29th so it's coming FAST! Oh, and my hubby played lacrosse so he will be happy to hear that Andrew is giving it a try :) One last thing- I heart that last picture so much!
Maybe I should write an actual post instead of taking up so much space in your comments section- LOL!
If/when I have kids, I'm going to make sure they have lots of unscheduled, uncoordinated free time. I have never wished my parents enrolled me in more activities. Quite the opposite, in fact - the memories of my childhood that I cherish the most are playing cricket with Rick in our basement, lazy days spent with you in our pool, football games with the Pattersons, etc. From reading your blog, you seem to be doing a wonderful job at raising Andrew, Lily, and Michael ...hopefully, one day I can emulate you :-)
Shoot, if they are doing a good job of being creative, I'd say go with it. I have the same mental struggle, it is really hard to determine the balance. It's time to schedule for fall right now for us, too, so I'm thinking about all of that. My problem is that my kids aren't as great at creative play (yet?) and playing together, so my temptation is to sign them up for things because it keeps them entertained. BUT I can't afford too much and and I think they NEED to learn to be creative, so I'm very concious of not signing up for too much. I think this summer we've had a good balance of activity and free time. Now I'm debating fall. Katy is going to do soccer, which is a 6 week season of 2 games per week. And we do a church thing on Wed. nights.
My sister-in-law (who lives in your area, actually), who has 3 girls in elementary school, says that they are out the door by 6pm 6 nights a week during the school year - and that's 1-2 activities per kid. So yeah, eeesh.
It's a no-win situation. I feel compelled to be somewhat active for N....the other day we were busy all morning (crafts at Michael's, Half-Price Books, and lunch at Steak n Shake). When I told her to tell her daddy what we did that day, she said, "Nothin." Good grief.
I think there has to be a balance between doing what one can afford, doing what makes the kid happy and doing what doesn't drive the parent bonkers. And then multiply that by every kid you have.
Good luck.
I really struggle with that too - knowing how much to schedule. I would like my kids to have varied interests, but maybe not at the expense of our family time. It is HARD to know what to do.
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