Yo-yo Tentacles

Yesterday morning was bath morning. I really really am trying to change our routine to evening baths...but I'm too lazy at night, and I really do love clean smelling kids in the morning. Yesterday morning, Lily's hair was akin to a rat's nest, so I decided that we couldn't wait until the evening...it was BATH DAY!

I am not so good at bathing the kids together. I understand that 99.9% of parents with multiple children find this effortless and in fact easier than bathing them separate. I am of the 0.1% who cannot figure it out, for the love of God. What does child #2 do while you are washing child #1's hair? How do you keep the baby from standing up in the tub when you are scrubbing the other child? I get that you can dry and dress the first out of the tub while the other plays in the water. But then what do you do with the dry and dressed while you are drying and dressing the second? Because my dry and dressed always tries to climb back into the tub, or investigate the contents of the bath trash or splash in the toilet or slip on the wet floor. Ugh. I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking of this. I think it frustrates me more because EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. Why the hell can't I figure it out.

I digress.

So...bath day. I bathed Michael first and then put him down for a morning nap. Lily was next. Andrew prefers to shower by himself now, so I got him in while I dressed Lily and did her hair. Once Lily was downstairs happily playing with a puzzle, I ran back upstairs to force Andrew out of the shower (oh, how he has inherited his father's long shower tendencies). Although he is very good at washing, Andrew has a very difficult time drying. As I was helping him, we had this conversation... (please excuse all the numbers fit in as letters...I don't want people to google me by looking up these words).

A- (fingering his genita1s and looking concerned) Mommy? Sometimes when I'm touching my peni5, I can feel these little balls underneath. Is that okay?

M- (laughing on the inside and really really wishing the boy parent was around to discuss this) That's normal, Andrew. Those are called your te5ticles and they come with your peni5. Like a matched set.

A- Do you have them?

M- No, because I don't have a peni5. I have something that looks like little balls too, but girls keep them way inside their bellies next to where babies grow. Your te5sticles don't like to be hot, so they are on little strings that keep them away from your warm body. If it gets cold, you might get worried because they seem to go away, but that's when they get real close to your body.

A- (with a big smile on his face). So I have yo-yo tentacles?


Oh! To try and keep a straight face while he was so earnestly asking these questions. This started a 10 minute conversation about what other animals have "tentacles". A question I only felt moderately qualified to answer. I love how easy it is to answer these types of questions now...he is merely curious and accepting of the information. Not too long before he is embarrassed and horrified. I'll try and pass along as much as I can in the mean time. ;)