Playdate from hell

Lily is making all new friends in Kindergarten.  No one from her pre-school went on to her elementary school, so she gets to pick her friends from a fresh field of faces.  I discovered last week that her first pick is a dud.

This little girl lives in a part of our neighborhood...far enough away that the girls have never played together, but close enough that they share a bus stop.  We've met her many times before because her older sister and Andrew also have the same bus stop (obviously).  When we went to orientation for Kindergarten, Lily happily discovered that S. was seated right next to her.  Bonus!

I have always noted that S. is a very spirited, bossy, energetic little girl.  For example, at the bus stop, she will start up a game of tag, she is always the one chasing Lily, and S. SLAPS Lily to tag her, despite being asked to just tap.  When another little girl comes to the bus stop, S. demands that Lily keep playing and not stop to say hi.  Not really anything to worry about...Lily is never bothered by this...she just needs to learn to stand up for herself.

They also have dance together on Wednesday mornings.  Last Wednesday, the girls were begging for a playdate.  I asked her mom if they would like to come over on Thursday morning.  She immediately said, "Great!  I'll drop her off!  Is 9 okay?"

Thursday morning, S's mom literally drops her off on the sidewalk.  Doesn't even walk her to the door or pull into my driveway.  Strange.  S. comes running up to the door and Michael and Lily greet her.  I get down on her level and say good morning and ask her to please include Michael in the play today.  She doesn't make eye contact with me and pushes past me into the house.  Lily has already been coached to let Mikey play, so I don't worry about it.

Things that happened in the next 2 hours 45 minutes:

I am sorting laundry in my bedroom, and Lily and S enter her room for the first time.  S. immediately says, "Your room is small.  And boring."

S. makes up games to get away from Michael.  Like hide and seek...except Michael is supposed to count to 100, and never find the girls.  He comes away frustrated and upset.  He and I play LEGOs to give the girls some space.

After playing quietly and nicely for 30 minutes or so, the girls come clambering downstairs looking for food.  It is 10:30, so I don't want to ruin lunch.  S. turns down all of my healthy options before begrudgingly accepting a cheese stick.  Lily skips outside to munch on her snack.  S mentions she has to go to the bathroom.  I pull out a bowl for her to put her cheese in.  She says, and I quote, "I would like a girl plate, not that plate.  While I go potty, you can get me a new plate and a girl cup with characters on it and you can put it on a table outside."  I mentioned that I don't have any girl cups and she says, "Yes you do."  She opens up my cabinets looking for them and doesn't find any. "Well that's what I like."  She proceeds to clog my toilet with so much toilet paper I had to scoop it out with my hand.  Except she didn't tell me that she overflowed the toilet...I discovered it hours later when Michael went to the bathroom.  Then she went outside and Lily and she played nicely for a while.  Michael even got in on the action.

The time her mother was going to pick her up came and went.  Lily quietly asked me when S was going home.

S and Lily started being really mean to Michael.  Running away from him and making him cry.  He felt so rejected.  He wanted a unicorn and S made fun of him, calling him a girl and that he shouldn't like unicorns.  I stepped in and told them to share, there were plenty, and there was nothing wrong with everyone playing with everything.  As soon as I back off, they make Michael cry again.

S. comes up to me and whispers, "I don't really like your house.  Especially Michael."

Finally...FINALLY...the mother comes to get her child.  I tell her that S. may complain about Michael barging in on their play. "Oh, no!  S never complains about anything."  I tell her that S. complained to ME about it.  She looks embarrassed and says, "Well, she just had a Popsicle for breakfast, so she's probably just hungry."

We are now rushing to get ready for school, since the mother was 45 minutes late picking up S.  No explanation on why she was late, btw.

I had a long talk with Lily about how I was disappointed that she would be mean to her brother.  She starts crying and said, "S told me that she was the guest so I had to do everything she told me or else she would never play with again."

-sigh-

Last. Playdate. Ever. With S.


I am in need of a playdate with a nice polite kid.  We had new neighbors move in a few weeks ago, and their 7 year old little girl is consistently rude to me..."I don't like the popsicles you have." "You let your kids drink out of baby cups."  "Why don't you have any good snacks."  Arguing with me about when I'm supposed to leave for orientation (Lily's was 1 hour earlier than the older kids, and she wouldn't leave my house because she thought I had the wrong time to leave).

Seriously.  Doesn't anyone teach their kids good manners?  And seriously.  Do my kids act this way?  Because no one would tell me if they did.  We all just smile and usher the child out of the house, not wanting to embarrass the other parent or seem to judge the actions of their child.  I coach my kids on what to do if they don't like the food offered at someone else's house.  But do they do it when the time comes?  Who knows.  Clearly Lily will just follow what the other kids are doing.  Yikes.

Ugh.  Other kids.  Ugh.