First day of camp...also, the arrival of Medusa

Andrew had a wonderful wonderful first day of camp. I signed him up again because it takes place in the elementary school that he will attend next year and it is full of kids from our school district. I chose to put him in a pre-school that is in the next district over, so I saw this camp as an opportunity for him to get used to the school and maybe meet some future classmates. I knew about 5 different kids who signed up for the camp, so I was certain he'd be with one of them.

Um, no. We walk in to the gym and as I sign the sheet I don't recognize any names on his list. Which is fine with me...he needs the experience of meeting new people...but I was worried how he'd react. I break the news to him and hold my breath as I wait for a response. He non-chalantly saunters over to his groups' table and I introduce myself to his counselors. He looks at the 3 kids that had already arrived, looks at me and says, "I don't know anybody here." No shit, Sherlock...didn't I just say that? Don't worry, that's not what I said...I said, "That's okay...why don't you go ask that boy if you can play checkers with him. His name tag says Ethan." And my baby, my little boy who a few years ago was nervous and shy and not confident in groups...he kissed me, walked over to the little boy and introduced himself. Then he slid into the seat across from Ethan and they started to play checkers. I was so so so proud of him. He continues to amaze me with what an absolutely fantastic person he is becoming. I will not worry about him in kindergarten now. We've prepared him. And when I went to pick him up 3 hours later, he didn't want to leave. He had so much fun. He told me as walked out to the car, "I had a great day, Mom. I made 2 new friends. Jack, like Jack and the Beanstalk, and John, like John Hopkins University." :) Cute, eh?

While he was at camp, I battled Medusa...you know, the evil creature with snakes for hair? Yah, she showed up at our house yesterday morning. Honestly, I am a very patient person. My kids irritate me, but they rarely get me to where I'm seeing red. I don't know what side of the bed Lily woke up on yesterday, but I think it was the side that empties into Greek mythology. She was a beast. Not happy about anything, constantly whining and screaming, shoving and pushing Michael around, begging me to play with her and then instantly getting angry when I did. Oh. My. God. An example of my entire morning is her asking for juice...here's the dialogue:

L- (whining) I want juice I want juice juice juice juice like A-ew has juice juice jui...
Me- How do you ask?
L- (screaming) PEEEEEEEEEEEASE JUUUUUUUUUUICE
Me- That's not a nice way to ask.
L- (whimpering) juice peese?
I get a plastic cup and put a lid on it. I hand it to Medusa...I mean, Lily.
L- (screaming) NOT DIS JUICE. A-EW JUICE. I WANT JUICE YIKE A-EW.
M- (trying to stay calm) It is juice like Andrew. He has a glass so you can see it, your cup is purple so you can't. But it is the same juice. (I take off the lid and show her).
L-(whining) I don't want juice yike dis. I want juice yike A-ew. (she shoves the cup so it tips over and spills a bit of the table.)
M- (taking the cup away and putting it by the sink) Okay, no juice for you. I have to put Michael down for a nap now.
L-(SCREAMING) I WANT MY JUICE. I YIKE MY JUICE. JUICE JUICE JUICE...

Lily screams bloody murder for the entire 10 minutes that it takes to put Mikey to bed. I come back downstairs and scoop her out of her chair. She is still screaming...in that octave that only Lily can reach. I hand her the juice cup and she drinks a bit while I'm holding her.

L- (softly) I go to bed now?
M-Yes, it is nap time. Finish your juice and we'll go upstairs and read a book.
L-(whining) I bring my juice?
M- No, sorry, it isn't a sippy cup. We have to finish it here.

Lily shakes the cup violently and begins screaming at the top of her lungs...some garblygoop that probably was related to wanting to bring her cup upstairs. I couldn't tell you, because my head was filled with rage. I snatched the cup out of her hand, put it in the sink, and carried her writhing body up to her room. I laid her down to change her diaper.

M- Lily, would you still like to read a book before nap?
L-I WANT MY JUICE I NEED MY JUICE JUICE JUICE JUICE
M- Lily take a deep breath. I'm going to ask you one more time...this is your last chance...do you want me to read you a book?
L-IWANTJUICEJUICEJUICEJUICE....(deep exaggerated breath)...yes book. Party book?

And we read Mo Willems*** book, "I was invited to a party" and she went peacefully to sleep. I went downstairs and took a Valium. Or a shot of whiskey. Or maybe I just had a glass of iced tea and did a science experiment with my 5 year old. No really, we were busy coloring carnations using food coloring. But whatev-

But that's just one example of Lily through the day. She was literally like that ALL DAY about EVERYTHING. When she wasn't screaming about an injustice, she was whining.

Today will be better...today will be better...today will be better.

***Sidenote: Mo Willems is my new favorite children's author. I may be WAY behind the trend here, and you're all thinking how out of touch I am. But in case you were living in a cave like me, please go check out one of his books. He has such humor in his text and illustrations...the kids are laughing out loud, I am laughing out loud. He obviously has had his own pre-school aged children, because he touches right on their funny bones. And the parents in the stories are HILARIOUS. Anyway...go get one...preferably from your local library...which you should be supporting. :)