Half of a whole

So Jeff left yesterday.

No...not for good. This isn't THAT kind of a post, thank heavens. Although sometimes this house gets so crazy, I start to wonder...

Jeff left yesterday for South America. He is traveling to Argentina and Brazil for the week to visit a few of the plants he lords over.

I am not used to him traveling. At all. Ever. Certainly not this far away.

It does not help when he jokes about getting kidnapped by rebels. Or when he jokes that he is going to the land where supermodels are born.

But before those of you with frequent flyer husbands write me a sympathetic comment or give me advice for how to survive with 3 kids alone for a week... my MIL has come to stay with me while he's gone.

Spoiled. I know. Especially since this is almost BETTER, since someone is home with me all day.

So have a good week! Think of Jeff as he visits the Paris of South America! And me as I figure out how to pretend to be a good mother for a week in front of my MIL. ;)

Interview with Lily; Age 3 years 6 months

I'm taking this from when I interviewed Andrew, and trying it with Lily. Enjoy!

1. What is something your mom always says to you? Go in timeout.

2. What makes mom happy? Kissing

3. What makes mom sad? Not hugging

4. How does your mom make you laugh? Silly songs

5. What was your mom like as a child? She liked carrots

6. How old is your mom? I can't remember

7. How tall is your mom? Big tall

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Take pictures

9. What does your mom do when you aren't around? Pick me up from school

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? I don't know

11. What is your mom really good at? Tricks

12. What is your mom not very good at? Fixing things

13. What does your mom do for a job? Shopping

14. What is your mom's favorite foods? Tomatoes

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Hugging

16. If your mom was a cartoon character, who would she be? Isabella

17. What do you and your mom do together? watch tv

18. How are you and your mom the same? We're girls.

19. How are you and your mom different? your shirt is blue

20. How do you know your mom loves you? kissing me

21. What does your mom like the most about your dad? Dancing with him

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Memere and Pepere's house



So I probably should wait and do this again when she's 5...she didn't quite understand some of the questions. And she got quite wiggly and distracted at the end and was just randomly answering questions with the word "elephant". As in: Mom and I are different because of elephants.

I'll try again in a few years...

Still thinks she's in charge

Despite the fact that Michael is clearly calling the shots, Lily continues to parade around our house like the Queen Bee. According to her, LILY is large and in charge. And she randomly snatches things from Mike to show her dominance. To the rest of us, she will announce what we are allowed to say, sing, do, etc. She declares loudly how the world is supposed to cater to her. And she is bitterly disappointed when it doesn't happen...we know because of the screaming and thrashing.

I always remind myself how these qualities will benefit her in life. She knows what she wants, she isn't afraid to hurt feelings to get those things, and she is persistent. Yet she is also an amazingly gracious loser (thanks to her big brother delighting in beating her at things), she is very observant and generous with her compliments towards others, and she knows how to strike a deal. She is my future CEO, I tell you. As long as no one else suggests it to her...everything has to be HER idea.

I've been a little slack in teaching Lily things. She is smart as a whip, and repeats everything that she learns in school. But I haven't had much alone time with her due to all these brothers surrounding her...so I haven't taught her how to play games, or played letter games with her, or all of the other things I used to do with Andrew just to stave off boredom. I am trying to change that.

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So lately we've been playing letter games. Just simple, pass the time games. We'll pick a letter and try to think of all the words we can that start with that letter. Andrew is always quick to jump in and show how many he knows. Lily just doesn't "get" the game. She plays it like an association game. I'll say "F", and Andrew will say "frog". Then Lily jumps in and says, "Tiana! Princess!" (you'd understand that if you've seen The Princess and the Frog). Um...not quite.

We also taught her to play UNO this week. Despite the fact that she refused to let us help her with the cards, she was incredible. She picked up the point of the game very quickly...evidence that I am not introducing things to her early enough ;) Andrew was dying laughing because she was announcing every card in her hand. She also gave Jeff high fives every time he changed the color...even if it didn't affect her play at all. I am having visions of family game night...

Lily was telling her dad all about "wee-cycling", the topic of the day at pre-school on Monday. She said, "Dad? Do you know what we talked about today? Wee-cycling. That means don't throw your trash on the ground, because it's not good for the earth. The wee-cycling truck comes and picks up your empty bottles and then it smooshes them and turns them into new bottles."

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Jeff and I were smiling and commenting on how smart she was. Even Andrew encouraged her by saying, "Lily, I didn't even know that!". All that attention embarrassed her, so she said, "I've decided we are not going to talk now!" Which made Jeff and I roll our eyes and snicker and we whispered something to each other about our future CEO. To which Lily whispered loudly, "I. Said. No. Talking."

I have contracted the pink eye that Andrew brought home last week, but only in one eye. Today Lily was looking at me and she said, "Mommy, that eye is sleepy, but the other eye is AWAKE!"

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At the t-ball game this week, she took a picture of me with a pretend camera, looked at it and said, "Awww. Mom you are soooo cute!"

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At the zoo last weekend, she came running up to me and said, "Mom! You got to come see this vulture. It's ENORMOUS!"

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I need to figure out where our videos are saving on the computer so you can listen to this girl. She is a RIOT. She challenges me daily, but I love her so much. If ever there was a middle child who won't get lost in the shuffle it is...

RAINBOW GIRL! (our resident superhero in action)

A new ruler emerges

We knew it would happen. He's the baby. You know...the baby.

As his personality continues to emerge and as he morphs into a 2 year old, Michael is beginning to show his independence and preferences and attitude. Which isn't entirely endearing...if you know what I mean. He is very rough and physical, the hallmark of a youngest boy, I think. He is increasingly manic bi-polar-ish...liking something one second and then hating it the next. He is clearly defiant and needs boundaries.

So it has begun. And at this stage with each of my other children, I have started being tougher. Time-outs. Timers. Stern talking. Consequences for actions. No more leniency for baby-ness. You want to act like a kid? Momma's gonna treat you like a kid.

Except it is different this time. Michael has a team of defenders...he's hired his own firm to oppose me in Mommy Court. It is the legal team of AndrewandLily.

He has them each wrapped around his chubby little fingers. It is adorable. And I am so going to laugh when they complain someday that he is a bratty, entitled, all-knowing, full-of-excuses teenager...because they will have helped create that monster. ;)



Some examples? They were all three playing with Play-doh one morning, and Michael continually threw it. At the floor, the dog, Lily...just throwing it. I warned him to stop throwing or he would go to timeout. Having never been to timeout, this was an empty threat. So he threw another piece. I scooped him up and set him on the step, telling him sternly, "You are in timeout for throwing Play-doh. You don't move until I come and get you." I walked away, and was AMAZED that he actually stayed on the step. Of course, he's had a lot of modeling...ahem...Lily...ahem. Anyway, as I let him sit for his one minute (geez, it was his first timeout...I was going easy on him), all I heard was grief from his siblings. Andrew traditionally can't stand his crying, so he was instantly and expectedly on my case, "Mom? He's just a baby." But what surprised me was Lily! She was piping in too, protesting her baby brother's incarceration. Lordy.

Andrew is by far the worst, though. He is such a softy...he lets Mikey get away with MURDER. They were in a fever bath together this weekend. Andrew was being a goofball and making Michael giggle that fantastic belly laugh. At one point Michael was hording all 4 cups that we have in the tub. I heard Andrew ask for one and Michael repeated said, "No. MINE. MINE." I opened the door to the tub (I sit on the toilet seat with the glass doors closed on the tub so they can feel like I'm not hovering...even though I am...). I told Michael that he needed to share, and I started to pry one of the cups from his hands. Andrew quickly said, "It's okay Mom. I don't really need a cup. He's just so cute...don't make him mad."

Michael's love for his brother is mutual, however. In that same bath, he was throwing cups of water onto Andrew. If ever some splashed on Andrew's face, Michael would stop and ask, "O-tay? O-tay?" Once Andrew confirmed that he was indeed okay, Michael would resume splashing. Repeat. Over and over. When I was helping Andrew rinse the soap out of his hair, Michael was very concerned...patting Andrew's leg and saying over and over, "O-tay? O-tay?"

Lily is less enamored, but still showing a protective, loving big sister instinct. Occasionally. They usually fight like cats and dogs, but if I ever try to discipline Michael...even if it is in her defense, Lily protests. She will say, "But he's only TWO!" He was trying to climb up right after her on the outside playset and she was screaming. I started to walk over saying, "Michael, you need to wait for your turn." Lily scrambled up and said, "It's okay, Mom. He's okay. He's just TWO."

Ugh. I hate disciplining two year olds...dealing with two year olds...trying to understand two year olds. And now I've got to explain my actions to two of the toughest defenders at the same time. But it's making it easier. Because just as I am feeling the anger rise up at Mike's irrational behavior, my two older kids remind me that he is loved and lovable and precious and...afterall...he IS only TWO. ;)

Okay, we get it...he's huge...

Andrew is tall. Quite tall. He's in a t-ball league for 5-6 year olds...just where he should be, seeing he is not even 6 1/2 yet. Half his team are kindergartners like him and the other half are pre-school/Pre-K kids. And he is by far the biggest kid on the team. By. Far.

At Thursday's game, Jeff was the 3rd base coach (there is a coach at every base in t-ball). When Andrew came up to bat, a father from the other team starts yelling, "Hey! Check that kids' birth certificate!" He was being funny in the way that loud Italians are funny, not mean spirited at all.

He quickly figures out that Jeff is Andrew's father, and after the inning is over, he walks over to Jeff and says, "Seriously, how big is your kid? He's really really tall?" Jeff says, "Yup, he is. He has been in the 99th percentile since the day he was born." The man points to his kid across the field and says, "Yup, and my kid has been in the 10th percentile since the day he was born. Hey! I own a karate school in town...why don't you stop by with Andrew and we'll see what he can do."

Andrew...already being recruited...

Whirlwind

I'm still crabby (since yesterday...our cabinets are in, even though they weren't supposed to be in until June and I spent over an hour yesterday jockeying between the delivery company, Lowes, and the cabinet company...I got a new thermometer which apparently has a dead battery already...I locked my keys in the car last night, but didn't discover it until this morning when I had hassled all the children into shoes, packed a picnic lunch, and gotten them all excited to leave)

But this morning, as I crabbed, I also watched Michael jet around. He is BUSY...as most 2 year old boys are. His attention span is so incredibly short, but he easily transitions from activity to activity by himself, so it doesn't really affect me. Here is Michael's morning as I observed it today:

7:00- I hear him calling, "Ma! Ma! Maaaaaa!" and rattlin' the bars of his cage.

7:05- I bring him a cup of milk. Michael's day doesn't start until he's had his cup of milk...he refuses to look at you, talk with you...nothing until he has that cup in his hand. It is oddly reminiscent of my mother and her cup of coffee... ;) While he guzzles his milk, I change his 15 lb. diaper.

7:10- Downstairs. He points out everyone, "Ah-nee (Andrew), Eee-ee (Lily), Shaoo (Shadow), Where Da?" Then he runs to the tv remote and says "Tee? Tee?" (I'm not proud, people...but our life is what it is).

7:15- I turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, plant Michael in his high chair and give him waffles. He pushes aside the waffles, points at the empty spot and says, "Dih? Dih?" (dip? dip?) Syrup is poured. He happily watches the show and chows down.

7:30- "Dow! Dow! Coff! Han han." (down down, washcloth, hands). He is done with breakfast...and tv.

7:31- Comes running through the kitchen holding a Matchbox airplane in each hand. Saying, "Ah-un! Ah-un!" his word for airplane. He continues to say it and fly the planes over his head until I acknowledge it. He flies them into the toy room, where I hear them drop to the floor.

7:35- Comes back into the kitchen holding a stethoscope saying, "Boomboom-boomboom".

7:35-7:38- Brings me each piece of the doctor's kit one by one...drops them on the floor.

7:38-Instead of a doctor's tool, brings me a box of puzzles...dress a bear ones. Says, "Bear?" I instruct him to help me carry all the doctor's stuff back to the toy room and then I get out the puzzle for him

7:40- After throwing all the puzzles pieces to the floor (one by one), he points to his wooden blocks and says, "Block? Play?"

7:40-7:45- We build a road/parking garage/tunnel thingy for his Matchbox cars out of wooden blocks. Until Lily comes in and unceremoniously kicks the whole thing down.

7:46- Mike has a screaming fit...understandably

7:47- Mike brings me a cup of tea. We do "cheers" between sips.

7:50- I sit in the big brown chair. Mike climbs over the top and down into the seat next to me then down and up and down and up.

7:53- He stays put for second and pats his lap saying, "Shaoo, Shaoo." over and over until I put the dog in his lap. He giggles and then squirms away.

7:55- He runs to the fridge and opens it. Grabs a drinkable yogurt. Says, "Yo? Yo?" Screams when I take it from him to put a straw in it. Screams when I walk away without putting a straw in it. Doesn't want a straw, but doesn't want no straw. Mommy walks away anyway.

7:56- Mike brings yogurt to me and says, "Raw?" (straw) Begins to drink yogurt.

7:57- Spies Andrew coloring. Says, "Raw?" (which means draw in this context). Climbs into a chair while I get him paper and crayons.

7:59- Knocks over the tower of crayons that he was trying to build. Carries a stack of crayons to the couch. Has a fit when I take the crayons back to the table.

8:00- Whoo-hoo! Michael has officially been awake for one hour!


Ahhh...life with a 2 year old...

Crabby

Argh...I am crabby. Why? I'll make a list...

--Family came to visit...first my parents then my in-laws. But it doesn't make me crabby in the way you are THINKING it makes me crabby. See, I get to feeling quite content with our little life in PA, until family comes to visit or we go to visit family. Watching my dad build block towers with Mike and then hearing Michael wander the house forlornly calling, "Pe? Bock? Pe?" after he leaves makes me want nothing more than to live closer. Seeing the joy my in-laws got going to Andrew's t-ball and flag football games to cheer him on makes me wish that they could go as often as they liked. And of course, cramming our house full of people makes me think it would also be nice if they could go home to their own beds and be comfortable at night...makes me wish we were just a short drive away. It will take me a few days to readjust to the far-away but content feelings...but it always makes me crabby to be here after I've had family so close.

--Now that family has departed for a while, Jeff is all badgering me to get on a health kick. I GET that I am overweight. I GET that I am unmotivated and unhealthy. But it frustrates me that he gets to pack a healthy lunch and not be surrounded by food all day and walks from the train station to work and then up 8 flights of stairs and then has fencing that he enjoys. And I am stuck at home all day with basically two choices...eat or clean...and we all know how THAT ends up going in the afternoons. And he waltzes home at 6 and tells me to take the dog for a walk after spending 12 friggin' hours alone with the children...and yes, I do have an hour to myself most afternoons, so I guess for that hour I have an additional choice...eat or clean or change into workout clothes and jump around in our 7 foot wide family room hoping that Lily only calls out to me twice during her hour of "quiet" time so I can actually get some cardio in. And yes, I could get up before Jeff goes to work and the kids get up...but most days he leaves for the train at 6:15 and the kids are usually up between 6 and 6:30...so in order to workout and shower, I'd have to get up at what time...? So you can see I have all the excuses worked out...and in the time it took me to write this pathetic little paragraph of whining I could have gone up and down my flight of stairs about 20 times and gotten a little mini-workout. Meanwhile...Jeff is only 15 pounds heavier than me. Demoralizing with a capital D.

--The children are driving me crazy. Andrew is regressing in his independent ways...he now refuses to shower, making me fill a tub for him and wash him. He won't pick out his own clothes. He has tie shoes now, which he cannot tie or UNTIE...creating a new dynamic for the getting out the door show. Thank God he can still buckle himself into his booster, because if I had to crawl back their and start to do that too, I might just throw him in the trunk. I kid, I kid.

--My house is a DISASTER. Which it mostly always is. But with spring-time comes sunshine, which just highlights all the dust and streaky windows. And we are outside more...which means more tracking in sand/mulch/dirt/grass clippings and less time to actually clean it up. My children also seem to delight in THROWING and KICKING their toys around...which makes me want to get a big garbage bag and empty our house of all things toy-like.


That about sums it up. There are lots of positives going on as well...such as Michael sleeping through the night (finally). But I can even find a negative about that (I used to just STAY up at 5 am when he got up and have a little peace and quiet before the others got up...and now I just sleep right through until 6 and am crabby at having no me time)...

Time to shake it off and make a new plan.

Step 1: Get off the computer...

Two!

Once upon a time, there was a girl from the suburbs of Cincinnati who decided to follow in her parents' footsteps and go to college at their alma mater. While she was there, she fell in love with a cute boy with huge glasses from the middle of Ohio. After they were done studying and were given a piece of paper, the girl married this boy and they moved to a land far far away.

After a little while, they had a (not so)little baby boy. As he grew up, he delighted them with his belly laughs and inquiring mind and beautiful blue eyes. He was a kind and good boy, and the parents could wish for nothing more in life.

Until a little while later, when they had a little baby girl. And she delighted them with her singing voice and smiling eyes and independent spirit. She was a funny and loving girl, and the parents could wish for nothing more in life.

The parents were utterly and completely content. They envisioned a happy and perfect life as a family of 4.

Until they saw a little plus sign on a little stick one hot August night. And the girl from Cincinnati cried and the boy from Mt. Vernon cried...because they did not understand why this had happened. Their family was perfect and complete! Why did they need this 3rd baby? How would it fit in?

And despite their fears and doubts, they had another little baby boy. And he delighted them with his sweet pouty lips and tender demeanor and cuddles upon cuddles. He was a sweet and easy-going boy and his parents could not imagine how they had ever thought their family was complete without him.



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Michael turning two is a milestone of sorts for our family. Two years ago, as Jeff and I struggled to balance 3 small children, we set a time to look forward to. If we could just SURVIVE the first 2 years, then things were bound to get easier. If we could just KEEP THE CHILDREN FED AND ALIVE for 2 years, then things would probably look up. And that was our light at the end of the tunnel.

And here we are. With my baby turning 2. And the truly amazing thing is? We've enjoyed (almost) every minute of the last 2 years. We set our goal post way too far in the future. And if you ever have had the pleasure of being with my Michael, you'd quickly see why it didn't take 2 years for things to start getting fun. He is hilarious and endearing and flirty and so so so different from the first two kids. I find myself wanting to just cover him in kisses and squeeze him I love him so much.

My position on child spacing hasn't changed. I think you must be crazy to have kids 18 months apart. There are many things about it that I find challenging and frustrating. But if that was what it took for me to get Michael...I'd do it again every single time.

I love you Mikey! I can't believe that you are two...

Longwood Gardens

While I took a 2 week break from blogging, life was still putting along. I had a bad back that made sitting at the computer particularly painful, so a bloggy vacation was had!

My parents also visited for Andrew's spring break. We had big plans, but the weather didn't cooperate. The last day of their visit, we did manage to trek down to Longwood Gardens. This is a park that I have heard about, but never visited due to the distance.

Let's just say...I bought a season's pass.

-sigh- I have a problem with doing that. Anyhoo, Jeff wasn't with us, and the trees weren't green yet, and the fountains weren't turned on, and supposedly at Christmas time everything is magical and decked out in lights and...I got a season's pass.

In photos:

We barely even made it through a fraction of the place...and spent much of the time imagining how beautiful it will be later in the spring, onto summer, and then fall...
We learned the word "topiary"

Michael had a BLAST running free through the huge lawns.

We had to take a snack break 30 seconds upon entering the park. Seriously. Eat. Breakfast. It will make all the difference in your day. Drive 90 minutes and THEN ask for food. Drive me crazy.

Lily posing in front of the lilies. I just can't decide which is more beautiful.

Inside the conservatory.

There is a children's garden inside the conservatory. Fountains upon fountains to play in. Michael was in hog heaven. I will bring extra clothes next time.

Andrew enjoyed being allowed to wander a bit through the children's garden. Here he is hugging some bamboo down below me. His comment, "I didn't know you could grow bamboo!" Hmmm, perhaps we need to venture away from the zoology lessons and delve into some botany.

Seriously. Fountains everywhere. This was a little stream running along the handicap ramp, full of little statues of animals. Heaven.

Once we dragged the kids out of the conservatory dripping and kicking, we started to explore the rest of the gardens. We didn't see everything, but we did make it to 2 out of 3 tree houses.

Again, imagine how magical it would be if the trees actually had leaves on them!

Inside the "Birdhouse" tree house.

This treehouse is wheelchair accessible. Which also means stroller accessible. HEAVEN!

Andrew in a strange bee chair up in the tree house. Apparently at the end of April they add one of those plexi-glass bee hives inside the tree house so you can watch the bees build their hive. We'll just have to go back!

Andrew grabbed the camera and took a few shots:

Me in a field of blue flowers that you can't even really see in this shot.

My mom and I in front of the duPont family home on the property. We didn't go inside, but Andrew wanted a picture of it.

We putzed out pretty quickly. Here are some shots of us sitting on benches trying to drum up some energy to walk around some more. Andrew had done really really well, but it turns out that he was done for the day. It stinks to be the oldest and not have a stroller to rest in like the littles. Of course, even if he was an only child, I don't think I'd be pushing around his 53 pound behind. :)

Dork.

Beautiful place! I can't wait to see it in summer, fall, and winter!

Backstory: She wants a cat

Conversation with Lily on the back porch swing this weekend:

L-Mommy, if you had a fairy give you a wish, what would you wish for?

M- I don't know Lily...I think I already have everything I want...a prince, a castle to live in, 3 cute kids, a fluffy pet...I can't think of anything else I want.

L- Oh! I know who your prince is...DADDY! And! Oh! I know who your kids are...Liddy, Michael, and Andrew! And! Oh! I know where your castle is (she points to the playset in the backyard).

M- That's right...so what else could I possibly wish for?

L- I know...you don't have a cat. You should wish for a cat.

M- I worry that the pet we already have...Shadow...wouldn't like a new friend to live with.

L- (nodding thoughtfully) Hmmmm... Well, do you know what I would wish for?

M- What?

L- A cat.