Crabby

Argh...I am crabby. Why? I'll make a list...

--Family came to visit...first my parents then my in-laws. But it doesn't make me crabby in the way you are THINKING it makes me crabby. See, I get to feeling quite content with our little life in PA, until family comes to visit or we go to visit family. Watching my dad build block towers with Mike and then hearing Michael wander the house forlornly calling, "Pe? Bock? Pe?" after he leaves makes me want nothing more than to live closer. Seeing the joy my in-laws got going to Andrew's t-ball and flag football games to cheer him on makes me wish that they could go as often as they liked. And of course, cramming our house full of people makes me think it would also be nice if they could go home to their own beds and be comfortable at night...makes me wish we were just a short drive away. It will take me a few days to readjust to the far-away but content feelings...but it always makes me crabby to be here after I've had family so close.

--Now that family has departed for a while, Jeff is all badgering me to get on a health kick. I GET that I am overweight. I GET that I am unmotivated and unhealthy. But it frustrates me that he gets to pack a healthy lunch and not be surrounded by food all day and walks from the train station to work and then up 8 flights of stairs and then has fencing that he enjoys. And I am stuck at home all day with basically two choices...eat or clean...and we all know how THAT ends up going in the afternoons. And he waltzes home at 6 and tells me to take the dog for a walk after spending 12 friggin' hours alone with the children...and yes, I do have an hour to myself most afternoons, so I guess for that hour I have an additional choice...eat or clean or change into workout clothes and jump around in our 7 foot wide family room hoping that Lily only calls out to me twice during her hour of "quiet" time so I can actually get some cardio in. And yes, I could get up before Jeff goes to work and the kids get up...but most days he leaves for the train at 6:15 and the kids are usually up between 6 and 6:30...so in order to workout and shower, I'd have to get up at what time...? So you can see I have all the excuses worked out...and in the time it took me to write this pathetic little paragraph of whining I could have gone up and down my flight of stairs about 20 times and gotten a little mini-workout. Meanwhile...Jeff is only 15 pounds heavier than me. Demoralizing with a capital D.

--The children are driving me crazy. Andrew is regressing in his independent ways...he now refuses to shower, making me fill a tub for him and wash him. He won't pick out his own clothes. He has tie shoes now, which he cannot tie or UNTIE...creating a new dynamic for the getting out the door show. Thank God he can still buckle himself into his booster, because if I had to crawl back their and start to do that too, I might just throw him in the trunk. I kid, I kid.

--My house is a DISASTER. Which it mostly always is. But with spring-time comes sunshine, which just highlights all the dust and streaky windows. And we are outside more...which means more tracking in sand/mulch/dirt/grass clippings and less time to actually clean it up. My children also seem to delight in THROWING and KICKING their toys around...which makes me want to get a big garbage bag and empty our house of all things toy-like.


That about sums it up. There are lots of positives going on as well...such as Michael sleeping through the night (finally). But I can even find a negative about that (I used to just STAY up at 5 am when he got up and have a little peace and quiet before the others got up...and now I just sleep right through until 6 and am crabby at having no me time)...

Time to shake it off and make a new plan.

Step 1: Get off the computer...