Sugar, running, and other despicable things

-- The sugar thing...or the lack of sugar thing...is going okay. The 2nd week of any challenge is always harder for me. I have great will power and attention for a short period of time. Then I lose interest and start saying, "Who cares if I'm fat and diabetic?!? It's not worth losing this gummy bear over!" Rational.

But who would have thought that Mother's Day would be such a deal breaker? I started my sugar fast last Sunday, May 1st. (Although I already started out as a cheater, since I didn't cut out yogurt or creamer in my coffee. Whatev')
Tuesday, May 3rd, Michael's little class had a Mother's Day feast. Where the kids serve you treats...pretzel's with a dollup of chocolate on top. And since this is a 2-3 year old class, the kids basically force fed us. Fail. Then Thursday, Lily's class had a Mother's Day Tea, where the pre-schoolers excitedly led us to a table they'd decorated and then served us cookies while the teachers poured us tea. How do you say no to your enthusiastic 4 year old? You don't. Fail. Then Monday, Andrew's class had a Mother's Day play. And they served us cookies afterward. Andrew was all teary-eyed with emotion...I couldn't exactly say no to anything he offered at that point. Fail.

But other than my 3 Mother's Day fails, I've been doing awesome. Michael was given a York Peppermint Patty at a friends' house and he ended up not liking it. I managed to throw away the perfectly good peppermint patty...even though it is like one of my favorites. I had a raging headache on Friday and Saturday when I switched to sugar free creamer. It felt vaguely like a caffeine headache, so I'm pretty sure it was sugar related. And yesterday afternoon the cravings kicked in high gear and I paced the kitchen like a caged bear at the zoo. But I prevailed. The good thing is, salty snacks don't really appeal or satisfy me at all. So I've just been eating less. We'll see. One of the deals with the sugar fast is I am not to weigh myself at all. This is NOT about weight loss. It is about not being a slave to sweets.


--Running...well, running sucks. I have to write about it, because I was so disheartened after reading a friend's blog that stated she was a couch potato and then decided to start running and in one month she got up to running 10 miles while pushing 2 kids in a jogging stroller! Holy Effing God. For the last SIX WEEKS, I have been going out 3 mornings a week, and I still feel like I am going to need an ambulance when I have been running for 5 minutes straight. I hit a big victory this morning when running 3 minutes felt okay. I spend the whole time running thinking about when it will end and trying to convince myself to just put one foot in front of the other. I feel great afterward. One reason to keep going. Jeff is, of course, up to running 26 minutes and pushing himself and doing awesome. I have to make this about myself and not anyone else, of course. I am the one who is 35 pounds overweight. I am the one who does zero physical/aerobic activity. I am the one with no muscle tone or stamina. I have further to go to get there. I just need to get out and go.

-- Every time that there is a parent function at one of the kids' schools, I am totally taken back to my junior high self. I always feel like I'm not in one of the "cliques". I never look as put together. People are polite to me, and then move into their little groups. Of course, I have my groups too, and I am old enough now to look rationally at the situation. I'm confident in who I am and how I act, I don't wear makeup because I'm lazy and I don't really care, and the women who are simply polite to me don't have children who are friends with my child...so what do we have to talk about, I only see these people at school functions and they are neighbors/playgroup friends/etc etc. I just have a little de ja vu...and then I shake myself and move on.

-- My parents are in France and on a cruise where they cannot easily be reached. And I ask...how is it possible for me to miss them so much? We don't live in the same town, we see each other only every couple of months or so. And yet I look foward to my morning call from my mom and the sneaking in between calls with my dad. I like having people to hash out the day with and hear what's going on with other family friends, etc. The only good part about them being gone is I hear from my sisters a lot more. :) I think they miss talking to Mom and Dad too.

-- Michael should be potty trained. He willingly goes when we get dressed for the day or for bed. He is almost always successful when he tries. We went 9 days with no poopy diapers, because he was going in the potty. I need to just bite the bullet and take diapers away from him. I bought a box of pull-ups yesterday. I think I'm going to make it the last. When we run out, he has run out of time. Yah, right. I suck at potty training. I have no patience for it. A few weeks ago, I forced him into underpants and then reminded him every 20 minutes or so. He peed through after 35 minutes. I cleaned him up and put another pair on him. 40 minutes later he peed through. And I was done. I just can't be bothered cleaning up messes. Soon, though. Right?

-- Speak of the devil, Michael is begging for the computer. He knows how to open the internet and get on PBS kids (it is saved as a favorite). He can use the mouse to open the game he wants and to manuever and do what he wants. It is amazing. And a little sad...because it shows I let the kids on the computer too much. At least it's Sesame Street?

-- I'm in full planning mode for S____ Summer Camp 2011. This year we're doing it by themes. I'm kind of excited. I love the planning part of things. It's just the follow through that is tough for me. I need ideas for field trips with 3 kids, though. Those are always the most fun for me...definitely not the crafts and cooking.

Okay, enough rambling. I'm off!