I gotta go there...

Okay, so kids are driving me CRAZY with a capital K. No reason, no sickness or bad weather or change in routine. Just constantly wrestling/screaming/getting hurt/chasing/more wrestling. Argh. Oh, and Michael is now climbing up onto the kitchen chairs and onto the table. I've never had a climber, but it is particularly bad because for the last 18 months, if Andrew or Lily want to do something or play with something without Michael interfering, I've always said, "Take it up on the table." Now I don't know what to say. "Sorry, your Barbie shoe should show up in a diaper in 24-48 hours." or "You didn't need the tip to that blue crayon anyway...I hear it's delicious."

Anywhooo, the past 3 days have left me shaking and on edge every evening. It doesn't help that I've cut my caffeine consumption by half...darned heart palpitations. Negative: Children irritate me even more when I'm fighting fatigue and caffeine headache. Positive: Heart doesn't race 20 times a day for no reason. Negative: Even though I won't die of a heart attack now, I just may stick a knife in my ear to cease the constant whining/screaming/crying due to my increased irritability.

So last night I was curled up with a cup of tea and all ready to watch some bad tv. ANTM was on...love it. So wonderfully crappy. Then I had taped a Dr. Phil on stay at home vs. working mothers. I know, I know. Why? Why even bother? I HATE Dr. Phil. He likes to make issues where there aren't any just so he can use one of his catch phrases. He yells for no reason other than to throw in one of his catch phrases. He digresses from the issue at hand to talk about himself. And this particular topic is so polarizing and with no one answer...it was certain to be a train wreck.

But who doesn't like to watch a train wreck every now and again?

Sure enough, he starts off the show by putting the working mothers on one side of the audience and the stay at home mothers on the other side. He talks to them as they sit down. Lots of put together, rational, calm, intelligent working mothers. The first SAHM he seats says, "Well, I AM a working mother...I just work at home." Barf. I think by this point we all know that saying you are a non-working mother doesn't imply that you are sitting around drinking tea and watching trashy tv all day. Wait a minute.

The only SAHM he really talked to was this CRAZY woman who said things like, "If you aren't going to stay at home with your kids, then you shouldn't be a parent." and "Pulling on panty-hose and going to your 'important' job as a secretary means you shouldn't have had kids in the first place." and "My home is calm and dinner is on the table and my kids do their homework because I stay at home." and the kicker..."I don't hire someone else to love my husband, why would I for my children." (!!!) Meanwhile, all through the show the working mothers were politely and rationally saying things like, "We respect your decision and think it is a good one...couldn't you just do the same for us." Way to make US look like the crazy side, Dr. Phil.

I hate her. HATE. She is one of the SAHMothers that makes the world hate and resent SAHM's. She also is one of the ones who makes me feel like I am doing a shitty job...calm house? dinner on the table? I'll bet there are no crumbs on her floor and she makes all their clothes too. HATE. She is the type that makes it mandatory for people who hear what we do to blink big blinks and pander to us and say, "Wow...hardest job in the world." (my pet peeve.)

For the record...I hate that there are 2 labels...SAHM and working. Because my situation is so very different than other SAHMoms. And one working parent's story is so different from another. Some working mothers work 9-5 jobs and have a husband with flexible hours and copious vacations days to use as they wish. Others travel for work or have a husband that works out of town much of the time or have a mother in town to help or don't have any family at all around to help or have a kid with autism or 2 kids under 3 years old or 3 easy peasy good sleepers or...you get the idea. Same with mothers who stay at home all day. Some have family support systems that enable them to go to the dentist, some have husbands who don't get home until 9 every night, some have great talents for baking or crafting, some love bargain shopping to save money, some just don't shop to save money, etc etc.

Why we think that we can just make generalizing statements is beyond me. Every job, every decision has perks and downsides. I get the perk that when it is a sunny, lovely day, I can take my kids to the park in the middle of the day. I get the downside that when I am running a fever and barfing in the toilet, there is no where to send the kids so I get a sick day. I get the perk that when my kids are barfing on the carpet (they never make the toilet), I don't have to worry about getting coverage at my job and think of the work piling up and waiting for me. I have the downside of being completely financially dependent on someone else. Etc. etc. etc.

So, basically, the Dr. Phil show once again got me all fired up. For making it seem like all stay at home mothers judge all working mothers. I think it is totally normal to envy the "other side". When you have a job, you totally wish for some of the perks of other jobs. If you work in retail, you wish you had a bank job so you'd get the weekends and holidays off. And if you work the bank job, perhaps you wish you worked retail so you could get a discount and not have to crunch numbers all day long. Normal. I guess the difference with this is that working mothers are ALSO stay at home mothers. All the stuff I have to do, they do too...laundry, sick kids, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, etc. What I SHOULD come away from that show is that...I shouldn't watch that show. I hate Dr. Phil...I shouldn't be tempted to tune in...ever.

Ah, another rambling post. Tomorrow...which child I decided to bury in the backyard! Because we have nothing to do this morning, so it is almost certain that one of them will be there.