Friday, September 17, 2010

Learning consequences

Lily started school this week. She loves it. Each day she has given me detailed and excited stories of what school is like. She is still fighting a big of a head cold, but nothing too serious. She certainly isn't sleeping longer because of it.

This morning is her 3rd day of school this week. She didn't want to go. She fought me on getting dressed, eating breakfast, etc. Just digging in her heels. I sat her down and explained my rule about missing school. If you miss school, that means you are sick. Which means that you must stay in your room and rest for the entire school time. So did she want to stay in her room until lunchtime, or would she like to go to school and have art and see her teachers from last year, since she has Jump for Joy today (a little PE program at her pre-school)?

She chose her room. Big surprise.

At 8:45, I opened her door and asked her if I could get her dressed and ready. I brought up her weekly calendar and showed her all the fun things she was going to do today. I reminded her of the fun things she'd done yesterday. She screamed at me and told to to go.

At 9:00, I opened her door and told her this was her last chance. Didn't she want to go to school? Wasn't it boring in her room?

She shook her head firmly and said, "I don't feel like going to school today."

At 9:15, she came downstairs and said, "I'm ready to go to school!"

But it is too late. School has already started. I have already called in to tell them she isn't coming. I've cancelled my playgroups planned for today. I am pissed. She must go back to her room because this is the choice she made.

So she is upstairs in her room, crying. This is how we learn that when it is time to go to school, we go. This is how we learn that school is in fact the preferable option. This is how we learn that Mommy means business. This is how we learn that choices come with consequences.

So she is upstairs crying.

But since she is a little bit legitimately sick, I won't make her stay up there until lunch. Just long enough to make it miserable and memorable. An hour. Because I don't have a heart of ice. And I understand that she's only in pre-school and only 3.

-sigh-

5 comments:

Laura said...

Ughhhh, bummer. My son didn't want to go to school last week because he said his tummy was hurting. I just didn't believe it was bad enough to miss school (1st grade) for, so I kind of forced him to go. Everytime my phone rang during the day, I expected it to be the school saying he was really sick (I didn't get that call).

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

Ugh, I hate these situations, when you present a scenario in which you think it's obvious which option they're going to choose, and then they call your bluff. And then you have to follow through, or the lesson learned is, "Mommy is full of idle threats!"

CARRIE said...

Good for you for following through. It is always so, so hard to do.

Once when N was in preschool she refused to get dressed so I took her to school in her pajamas (with her clothes in a bag, of course). That never happened again.

Kelsey said...

I'm so impressed with your follow through Giselle! I'm sorry because I'm sure it was kind of a difficult morning for all of you but wow, that was a good lesson you know?