Yesterday's sentimental posts about the children were brought to you by self-therapy. It's been a long couple of weeks, and sometimes you just need to sit down and remind yourself why you love them.
Not that I don't realize it every day. But with Jeff working later at nights and still leaving early in the mornings, he's seen the kids for exactly 30 minutes each day. And with a week that is horribly unbalanced socially I am pretty lonely by Wednesday night. (Thursday and Friday I have school for Lily, a class for Michael, and 2 different playgroups. Monday thru Wednesday are empty.) Which means it is all mommy, all the time. Every bath, every meal, every paltry little request. All mommy.
I am completely serious when I tell you that so far this week, I have had exactly zero meals with other adults. Jeff leaves before breakfast and hasn't been home for dinner. Tuesday and Wednesday, the only adult that I even spoke to...and this includes phone calls...was the check out clerk at the grocery and a handful of awkward hellos to new moms in the pre-school line. That's 48 hours, people. My mom is out of town, my friends have lives, Jeff is in training so is unable to answer phone calls...you know...I was just lonely.
It's not that things are so bad. It's just knowing that this is the new norm...and I don't like it. Nothing I won't adjust to, though. The kids are actually being really good. They have been playing in their own little world at night and fighting only a little.
Whatever. Cry me a big fat middle class tear, why don't you. Husband makes good money at a stable job, my kids are healthy and happy, etc.
5 comments:
I have failed you! Twice I picked up the phone to call you. The first time I was in the car and low and behold my earpiece was dead. Today we went to the park and I planned on chatting with you while the kids played. But a man resting from his bike ride needed someone to talk to about his trek to Ensenada. I'm sorry you had such a lonely week:( We'll talk soon!
I found your blog from your link on Facebook and had to comment on this post. It is absolutely crazy that we live down the street from each other, have kids close in age and don't ever get together. I only work Thur, Fri and every other Wed, so I am usually free every Mon and Tue and always looking for ways to entertain my kids - and have adult company! Send me a note if you ever want to get together.
Keep in mind, we can do another visit...just need work around preschool schedules :) If we didn't wear out our welcome the first time around!!
Hang in there, that is tough! Being lonely is something that sucks even though you appreciate that overall things are good. Sometimes the day to day is just hard.
I wrote a bunch of stuff and blogger ate it. Darnit.
It was along the lines of...."You feel what you feel. So feel it. And don't worry about what you 'should' or 'shoudn't' feel.
So wish we lived closer.
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