If only...

My summers always go something like this...

***After 2 weeks of visiting family or having visitors***

Giselle-"If only I could have a regular schedule with the kids. Then life would be grand!"



***After 2 days of being home alone with the kids and having a regular schedule***

Giselle- "If only someone would come visit. Then I wouldn't be so bored."
or "Let's go somewhere! I can't stand to be home and bored."


-sigh- If only I could be content. (see, I'm still grumpy)

Nibbles

Nakedness is not a big deal at our house. I've always freely gotten dressed in front of Andrew, and never was bothered by his curiosity with my body. I always thought it was a great learning experience. But I knew that it would have to end sometime. I just never knew when or how I would know.

I think it's time.

Andrew is starting to watch me get undressed with a half embarrassed half mischievious look on his face, like he's thinking, "I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing." Yesterday, I was changing into my swimsuit and he got that look on his face and started moving towards me. He said, "Mommy, when you are naked I want to touch your..."
I interrupted quickly and said, "You can't touch Mommy's breasts because they are a private area. No one touches private areas except for doctors, right?" (and Daddy...but I'm trying to get Daddy to stop groping in front of Andrew so this doctor line will stick. It's never too early to start teaching kids about appropriate touching, I figure.)
Andrew says, smirking, "No, I want to touch your arm. See, I'm touching your arm. I won't touch your nibbles."

Which makes me want to giggle. I friggin' LOVE that he called nipples "nibbles". It sounds so cute. The other day, we were at Sesame Place with a friend, and Andrew touched Matthew's chest. He looked at me and said, "Look, Mom! Matthew has nibbles!"

Anyhoo, due to all the smirking and such, I think it's time to be more modest. I thought I'd have a little longer...but there can't be any nibble touching. :)

Grumpy

Lordy, I am a grump. And I have been for over a week. I think it's the heat. I hate being hot. Bring on the blankets and boots. I HATE hot. I'm just grumpy. I'm grumpy at my kids, grumpy at my husband, grumpy with my friends. Grumpy. If you type that word enough it really starts to seem weird.

So that's why I haven't been blogging much. Grumpy. Grouchy. Irritable. Isn't my family lucky to hang out with me?

Here's a cute(?) Andrew story to tide you over until my grumps go away and I once again feel witty and positive about my life.

A few nights ago at dinner, Andrew was having a ham sandwich. I know, he should have been eating salmon like the rest of us, but I'm too grumpy to fight him. He wouldn't eat the sandwich by himself this night...he wanted his dad to feed him. He missed his dad just a tad during our week apart. So Jeff is holding the sandwich and giving Andrew bites. At one such offering Andrew rejected it, saying, "No, Dad, you aren't holding it right." So Jeff scoffs and declares that Andrew should do it, and hands the sandwich back to the Prince. Andrew takes the sandwich, holds it up to his mouth, just so, and pretends to eat a bite, saying, "Like this,Dad, see?" Then the little imp hands the sandwich back to his dad so he can continue to feed him.

We would have been exasperated if we weren't laughing so hard.

Family

Andrew

Andrew holds a duck at crazy farm

Andrew caught a fish!
Jeff's Mini-Me
Playing chess at Children's Museam
Lovin' the hot tub

Lily

Bikini Baby

Konked out at the beach
Big girl sitting up
In Aunt Sara's baptismal gown...now Lily's too!
She loves to wave now

Bachelor Land

On June 17, Jeff and I parted ways...for the week. I went to Cinci with Lily and Andrew and Jeff drove back to Philly all by his lonesome to go back to work. At least I THOUGHT he went back to Philly. Turns out, he instead went to a magical land filled with fantasy and whimsy called "Bachelor Land."

The kids and I got back Saturday (my folks were kind enough to haul us and our 75 luggage items across the incredibly long state of PA). Despite 5 days notice that we would be coming in on Saturday...Jeff was caught unaware. Apparently there are no calendars or clocks in Bachelor Land. Here's how the dialog went once we entered the house.

Giselle- Oh my! The sink is full of dirty dishes!

Jeff- Yea, see, in Bachelor Land, we don't do dishes. Besides, the dishwasher is full, and no one in Bachelor Land knows where the bottles go.

G- How did you ever eat on this kitchen table? It is COVERED with mail/garbage?
J- Yea, see, in Bachelor Land, we eat in front of the TV. Always.

Other things I learned about Bachelor Land?

-ESPN is always on...unless pre-empted by a James Bond marathon.
-Suitcases are not unpacked...merely lived out of.
-There is no nagging.
-You can read in your recliner until the last minute you leave the house...bypassing any packing of coolers, gooping suntan lotion on squirmy kids, making lunch, finding shoes and squashing them onto little feet, etc. etc. (and he wonders why there is normally nagging).
-There are no cuddles.
-The presence of me or the kids makes Bachelor Land immediately disappear. Poof. Gone.

I can tell that Jeff really enjoyed his vacation in Bachelor Land. He was pretty cuddly and affectionate when we got home, even though I was/am a grump because I came home to a house so FILTHY, so I hope that means he likes Daddy Land a little bit better. Or maybe he just wanted to get some. There is no sex in Bachelor Land. At least, not for my Casanova. ;)

The blogs that will never be...

We're still in Ohio. And I'm WAY behind on keeping a log of our travels. But I have been inspired almost every day. I'll never catch up. I'm way to lazy. So here's a list of the blog entries that will never happen, but I was inspired to write.

Lily's Halo, Sunday June 9 A synopsis of Lillian's baptism. She was baptized at the same church, by the same pastor as Andrew 3 years ago. Both kids were ANGELS. Lily looked darling in her Aunt Sara's baptismal gown.

Old MacDonald had a LSD Flashback, Monday June 10 A very funny entry about the strangest farm you could ever visit. It's like experiencing a drug high (or so I would think). You are riding on a wagon driven by a young man with a German-esque accent, when random animals come up to eat. Wait! Is that a pig...oh! And now a majestic elk! Huh? Is that a zebra chasing a bison? Is it just me, or are there 1 million fallow deer wandering around? A kangaroo? Really? Where the heck am I?

Cousins, Wednesday June 13 A post about hanging out with Colin and Kate. Lily was charming...as per usual. Andrew was hard to please...as per usual. Colin was a DOLLBABY. God, he is growing fast. The boys got along great. Downer for the day? Andrew was rude as HECK to his Uncle Greg. And Mom here dropped the ball for disciplining him. Sorry Uncle Greg. Since you usually only see Andrew about once a year, I hate that this is your impression of him. Luckily, we'll see you again in August...I'll try to have him better rested and less...well, less 3. ;)

The Secret, Thursday June 14 Andrew has been keeping a very big secret from his dad...Jeff's 30th birthday surprise. Today Grandma tried to let Andrew in on another secret...and Andrew responded, "I only have room for one secret." Poor burdened kid. He shouldn't be so nosy when I'm shopping, then.

Harper, Kelsey, and Killer, Friday June 15 I wish I had more time to write a proper entry about our visit with friends in Dayton. Some of you may know them from this blog. I had high hopes for the meeting of Harper and Andrew...both prolific talkers. But Andrew was cranky, and their dog Rebound a bit too friendly. It was still a wonderful time in their beautiful home (how do people with kids keep houses so clean?). Harper is an amazing child...so sweet and funny and smart as a whip (boy, talk about a saying from the 1800s). Was Andrew ever that sweet? My highlight was when Harper watched Andrew go potty and exclaimed, "Andrew has a tail!" Andrew emphatically responded, "I DO NOT." Might be time for an anatomy lesson ;) Andrew and Harper had a BLAST for the last 10 minutes we were there. Maybe next time...? But by then Harper will be 3...

Visiting Great-Grandma and a wedding, Saturday June 16 A long post about our busy day Saturday. Jeff was in the wedding of a college friend Saturday, so while he was getting all gussied up, I took the kids to my grandma's house in Dayton. Lily was an ANGEL and Andrew was pretty good also. Mom and Dad took the kids because we were told that children were not allowed at the wedding/reception...yea! A night to ourselves. I got gussied up as well as I could, and went to the beautiful service. Jeff is getting WAY hotter than me...motivating me to lose some weight. Hung out with old friends and a new one in between wedding and reception. Forgot about losing weight as I wolfed down wedding cake at a reception that included about 25 children Andrew and Lily's age. Hmmmm. After wedding went back to hotel, and edited due to content.

Father's Day, Sunday June 17 A mushy post about my Daddy and the father of my children. Ironically, Jeff did not even see his children this day because he was driving back to Philly all by his lonesome.

Secret Revealed, Monday June 18 Jeff's birthday is Friday, and finally his birthday secret is out! He has a weeklong scavenger hunt to remind him of his family that loves him...so he doesn't have a mid-life crisis while I'm gone. I don't want to come back Saturday to find a blond bimbo cooking dinner. ;) I hear that scavenger hunts help with infidelity...so... I told Andrew he could finally talk to his dad about it...no reaction. Oh well. Andrew also told me this morning that he told Garcia to go away because he was bad. Then when I was helping Andrew clean up a spilled bowl of candy, Andrew said, "Garcia came back." Damn Garcia.

Phew! That's the last week or so. We'll see if I can get on here more regularly.

On the road again...

Here we are in Ohio! It is the first time we drove with the kids (spoiled rotten...that's what they are). I was really nervous, because Lily usually just screams after 45 minutes or so (my kids don't sleep so much in the car). But we bought her a new car seat last week, and maybe it is way more comfy...but she didn't cry hardly at all! And she only slept about 1 hour of the 8 hour car ride. Good girl.

Andrew was also a champ. No problems there...as usual. Seriously, I need to get my tubes tied immediately. Whatever...Jeff's tubes tied immediately. What are the chances that we would get 2 incredibly good kids? Seriously...they are incredible. They make Jeff and I look like great parents, which is totally just chance/luck. The chances of lighting striking a third time are highly unlikely.

So we are here...back in the homeland. The weather has been UNBELIEVABLE so far. We are spending a little less than a week with my in-laws, going to a wedding in Dayton this weekend, and then I will be spending a week with my parents sans Jeff. And Jeff will be all alone in Philly for his 30th birthday. I'm a little concerned that he will go and have a mid-life crisis on that day. I'm going to come home to a new convertible in my driveway or something.

I probably won't be blogging quite as much. We've got our days packed with visiting people and other such things. Hopefully it will result in lots of funny stories. ;)

Potty training side effects

There are definite side effects to a potty trained boy. And coming from a family of girls, I am still quite naive about them.

We were eating breakfast at a hotel on our way to Ohio (yes...we're traveling again). Andrew stood up and started holding himself. I asked him if he needed to go potty. His response? In front of all the other breakfasting guests?

"No, Mom. I just like to touch my penis."

Alrighty then.

Breakfast

Breakfast has become a type of game show at our house. Not for the kids. For me. The goal is to eat breakfast in one sitting. I very rarely win.

Winter was easy. I made myself a bowl of oatmeal each day. Yummy, stays hot for a long time, doesn't get soggy, and I can eat it one-handed as I simultaneously feed the baby, open yogurt for Andrew, pour oj, etc etc.

But we have now moved into hot weather season. I hate being hot. It makes me irritable, short-tempered, and just unpleasant to be around. This doesn't work well with parenting, as my children often make me irritable, short-tempered, and just unpleasant to be around. I especially HATE being touched when I'm hot...don't you dare add your body heat to mine...which obviously doesn't work well with parenting.

So oatmeal is obviously out now. The last thing I need to do is gulp down something warm and raise my body temperature. The children may not survive the morning.

My favorite summer breakfast is Cheerios with fresh fruit. I actually enjoy this more than oatmeal...but trying to eat it in one sitting should be an Olympic sport. First, I wait until Andrew tells me he wants breakfast. If I try to eat before he wakes up, he will instinctively hear the splash as the milk hits the cereal and wake up instantly. Pouring the cereal does not activate children...it is the addition of milk. When it is just cereal in the bowl, the cereal can wait indefinitely for me to finish taking care of the children and sit down to eat. But with the milk...ah...the possibility of ruining the whole bowl is a distinct possibility. So anyway, I wait until Andrew asks for breakfast. Then I prepare his breakfast and mine at the same time. I rack my brain to think of every possible request he could have, "Open my yogurt" or "I need 2 spoons" or "I splashed milk...I need a towel" or "Juice! I must have juice!" or "I want to check the newspaper". I assemble the table. Now is crunch time. I must pour my milk quickly before Lily needs to eat, for I cannot manage baby cereal and milk on my spoon at the same time (she is in her exersaucer...of course). I must finish eating before Andrew does or else a whole new crop of issues will come up; "I have to go pee" or "Where is my red car" or "I need new pants". I make faces at Lily between bites to keep Lily occupied and distracted from her growling belly as I try and coax Andrew to stay and finish his meal.

Occasionally I make it through the entire bowl without having to get up. Lots of times I end up with a soggy mush. It's like an omen...reading tea leaves or whatever. If I get crunchy cereal, good day. Mushy...it's iffy.

If you think this sounds like a 3-ring circus, you should see dinner! The kids have 2 performers for that meal...and they keep us up and running!

If Lily were my 1st child...

...I'd swear she'd said her first word this evening. She was sitting in her highchair while we ate dinner babbling away. Jeff sat down and she was in the middle of a stream of "Da-da-da's". We congratulated her and said yes, that's Dada, Jeff pointing at himself, etc etc., trying to start getting it into her head that these babbles can actual communicate meaning. She was facing Jeff the whole time, kind of grinning and looking at him like he was crazy. Then she very purposefully turned and looked directly at me and said, "Mama". Just that. No other babbles. Sure sounded like she was processing that Jeff was Dada and turned to tell me that I'm Mama. We of course went bananas!

But since she's the second child, I'm chalking it up to a coincidence. I won't believe it until she gives me a repeat performance. And maybe one more after that. ;)

A game called "grow"

Life is a game to Andrew. A competition, actually. A competition where he'd better win, or there's going to be quite the tantrum. Much of his vernacular is associated with sports as well. He doesn't hold his pee, he "blocks" it. As in, "Andrew, do you have to use the potty?" "No, Mom, I'm blocking it."

Here's a story I have to write down before I forget it. I can't believe it's taken me this long to record it.

While on vacation, he told someone (and I can't remember who, now) this, "Lily and I are playing a game called 'grow', and I'm winning. Because I came out of my mommy's tummy first." Let's all laugh and then roll our eyes. Mr. Competition. At least this is one game he'll always be winning.

***Andrew is getting ready for bed right now. I have to tell you that he's been going to bed with just pajama bottoms on. He wants to sleep, "With no pajamas like Uncle Chad". Apparently Uncle Chad sleeps with no shirt. And after our trip to Texas, everything Uncle Chad does is cool. ***

Da-da, Muh-muh, Na-na, Yuh-yuh

I mentioned in a previous post that while in Texas, Lily uttered her first consonant, Bah-bah. We were ecstatic. I mean, when Andrew was this age, he was already reciting the alphabet. Okay, not really...but that's probably how I'll tell the story when I'm in my 50's. But he was far quicker with the whole babbling thing than Lily has been.

Well, maybe not for long. Today...yes, in just one day, we have heard 4 new sounds from her. And one multi-syllable babble, Ah-da. What the heck? Is this child secretly practicing so she can astound us all in one day? She was just sitting in her highchair and clearly said, "Da da da da", as if this is something she has always been able to do. What's next? Am I going to catch her sauntering through the room on two feet? Oh, yea, Mom, I forgot to tell ya that I know how to walk.

Even more remarkable than her verbal breakthrough is that it happened in the middle of a bad cold. Poor little thing is just miserable. I hate sick infants...there's just so little that you can do for them. And, yes, I do have a humidifier...but she's so hot already I hate to steam her out. And, yes, I do have a cool mist vaporizer/humidifier/whatever it's called, but it doesn't do diddly.

Oh, and as of today she is on 100% bottles. I had been nursing first thing in the morning and then one more feeding after that. This morning at 6 I went in to her room with a bottle. She got SOOOOOOO excited, grabbing and stuffing it in her mouth. Yea, don't cry for me, Lillian. I feel the love. ;)

Postcards

I felt inspired by this post to write my own postcards post.

Andrew loves to talk on the phone. Quite frankly, so do I. And my mom is one of my favorite people to chat with during the day...and I do AT LEAST once a day. She actually probably screens her calls, because, really, who wants to hear that your grandchildren's lives are in danger more than once a day?

Anyhoo...let's connect the dots. I talk to my mom each day, Andrew likes to talk on the phone, therefore...Andrew talks to Memere on the phone a lot. God bless her. Andrew is getting better about having actual conversations on the phone. So I hope it's not as painful as a few months ago when he would say hello and then start looking around the room for something to talk about. For example:

Last summer:
Memere- Hi Andrew! How are you?
Andrew- Memere! (pause as he looks frantically around the room). Red car. Playdoh. Cardinal in the tree.
Memere- Huh?

etc etc etc

This Tuesday:
Memere- Hi Andrew! What are you doing?
Andrew- Talking to you. How's Pepere?
M- We're on vacation with Uncle Chuck.
A- He's your big brother.
M- Yup. I'm sending you a postcard in the mail.
A- Mail! I'll go look for it.

etc etc etc

Yes, my mother proclaimed that she was sending him mail on Tuesday. At least I think it was Tuesday...it feels like it was 3 weeks ago. Because immediately after hanging up with her that morning, he insisted on looking in the mailbox for this promised prize. Of course, there was nothing there. But at least there was no mail at all. When the actual mail came later in the day, Andrew looked frantically for his letter. Imagine his shock and disappointment that there were only letters for Mommy and Daddy. And so, since it was 5:00 and he'd taken no nap...he had a HUGE meltdown. About the mail. Guess what? Repeat performance Wednesday. And again Thursday. I'm talking down on the floor, crying hysterically. We tried to explain that Memere probably SENT the letter Tuesday, but it would take a few days to arrive. We tried to explain that all Daddy and Mommy were getting were bills, which are no fun at all.

Finally, today, the postcards came in the mail (THANK GOD!). He was THRILLED. Carried it around with him like a trophy. And a postcard also came for Lily...which also thrilled him. He must have shown her the card lots of times...although he did get upset when she tried to eat it. He also must have asked me 3 times how to open the card. Postcards are a new concept for him.

Lesson to learn? Don't ever tell a pre-schooler something far in advance. Especially a pre-schooler with a long memory. ;)