On June 17, Jeff and I parted ways...for the week. I went to Cinci with Lily and Andrew and Jeff drove back to Philly all by his lonesome to go back to work. At least I THOUGHT he went back to Philly. Turns out, he instead went to a magical land filled with fantasy and whimsy called "Bachelor Land."
The kids and I got back Saturday (my folks were kind enough to haul us and our 75 luggage items across the incredibly long state of PA). Despite 5 days notice that we would be coming in on Saturday...Jeff was caught unaware. Apparently there are no calendars or clocks in Bachelor Land. Here's how the dialog went once we entered the house.
Giselle- Oh my! The sink is full of dirty dishes!
Jeff- Yea, see, in Bachelor Land, we don't do dishes. Besides, the dishwasher is full, and no one in Bachelor Land knows where the bottles go.
G- How did you ever eat on this kitchen table? It is COVERED with mail/garbage?
J- Yea, see, in Bachelor Land, we eat in front of the TV. Always.
Other things I learned about Bachelor Land?
-ESPN is always on...unless pre-empted by a James Bond marathon.
-Suitcases are not unpacked...merely lived out of.
-There is no nagging.
-You can read in your recliner until the last minute you leave the house...bypassing any packing of coolers, gooping suntan lotion on squirmy kids, making lunch, finding shoes and squashing them onto little feet, etc. etc. (and he wonders why there is normally nagging).
-There are no cuddles.
-The presence of me or the kids makes Bachelor Land immediately disappear. Poof. Gone.
I can tell that Jeff really enjoyed his vacation in Bachelor Land. He was pretty cuddly and affectionate when we got home, even though I was/am a grump because I came home to a house so FILTHY, so I hope that means he likes Daddy Land a little bit better. Or maybe he just wanted to get some. There is no sex in Bachelor Land. At least, not for my Casanova. ;)
1 comment:
Bachelor Land is the reason widowers usually follow their wives to the grave 4 days later. It seems all cushy and stuff until the man can't find his heart medication (or the phone number to the doctor's office for a refill or how to peel an apple in case he'd like to put something remotely healthy in his body).
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