Thursday, May 14, 2009

Speaking of one-upping

I just had the strangest conversation in the waiting hall at Andrew's pre-school.

I admittedly have a difficult time keeping my mouth shut and not starting conversations with total strangers. This is especially difficult at the pre-school, because I think people's other little kids are cute, so I ask about them, etc etc. I am learning that maybe I should not do this...partially because I'm becoming more aware that I may actually offend someone by starting a conversation (this post could have been me talking to her in the elevator..oblivious) or I will just annoy other people who really don't want to talk to me...as evidenced by today.

Today, I noticed a woman walking in with a little boy on her hip and a toddler girl tripping along next to her. I resisted speaking to her. Then she started "walking" with the baby by holding his fingers. So I started a conversation. It went like this:

Me: Oh! He's so cute! How old is he?
Her: 10 months. Not quite ready to walk though.
Me: No rush, right? And how old is your daughter?
Her: 2.
Me: Oh! You had them close together too!
Her: I have 5 kids.

I pause, wondering how to respond. You win? Congratulations? What the hell does that have to do with our conversation? Instead, I said:

Me: So this is nothing for you, I guess...ha ha.
Her: That's right. Easy for me.

End of conversation.

It was just so...dismissive. Like I could not possibly relate to her and should not have a conversation with her because she has 5 kids. Like she was saying, "Wait a minute, here, before we get too friendly...I have 5 kids so don't even TRY to compare yourself to me."

I should really really learn to just not talk to strangers.

(in contrast, there is a girl who is #5 of 7 kids in Andrew's class...her mother is nothing but sweet and knowledgeable and not judgemental or superior at all. So this isn't a judgement of mother's with more kids...just a judgement of her ;) )

5 comments:

Mary O said...

Some people are so weird. I mean, would it have killed her to be a little more friendly?

Andrea said...

I am always the one starting conversations and I hate when people are rude! I had a women at church ask how close Rachel and Joey were and when I told her and told her that there was one more in Sunday school she said "oh that's nothing - I have twins and this baby". Um, last time I counted twins + 1 = 3 kids too! Grrrr

Astarte said...

If she's going to be like that, who wants to talk to her, anyway. Sheesh. Or, maybe she was having a totally shi**y day and was being sarcastic or something. Either way, bah.

Erin said...

Ok, so I read this post yesterday? And it is STILL IN MY HEAD. So strange. How can people be so lacking in social skills? Maybe she was having a bad day?

Kelsey said...

I think the striking up random conversation bit is a totally mid-western trait! I have it too...

But I don't understand why people need to be rude, especially when you are in situations where they are likely to see you again.