A weighty topic

Oh! You guys! I must briefly talk about the booooooring topic of my new weightloss/gethealthy plan. It is NOT a Die-et. I HATE Die-ets. There is a good reason that most of that word is DIE. I am not following any specific plan...just do more, eat less. I may eventually have to join weight watchers or something...but I'm pretty sure I don't have the attention span to count my points, and all the jazz (that attention span is one of the main reasons I have a bicycle tire circling my waist).

Anyhoo, I know this is not a new topic. Which is why I haven't brought it up even though I started several weeks ago. Usually I start with my exercising (seriously can't spell that word) and eating well, and then I lose interest after a few days or maybe a whole week if I'm really good. What usually brings it crashing down is a really crazy bad day with the kids, where I have zero adult interaction, no shower, the absence of good naps (for the kids). On those days, my resolve goes down the tube as the little voice in my head says, "Who cares if you are fat and lazy? You never see anyone, you never get to do anything, and the kids have been running you ragged all day, so enjoy that brownie and sit on the couch."

But this time I got SERIOUS. I printed out a calendar and marked 6 weeks. Goal? Exercise for at least 30 minutes, 5 times a week. If I make it 6 weeks, I get an I-Pod. That's right...I think I'm finally going to give up my schoolbus yellow cassette walkman that I got in college that has gigantic ear pieces and a huge 5 pound cassette player to carry around...but only a short short wire from the ear pieces to the player. I literally have to walk bending my arm to hold it up by my breasts...wire not long enough to fit in my pants. I am sooooo cool. If I miss a day, it starts all over and I must do 6 more weeks to get my present. I have hung this calendar up in the bathroom, and Jeff keeps me accountable. Any physical activity counts...usually it ends up being a mix of long walks with the dog and doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. Which Jeff tried last night while I was at book club, and he said was HARD. Which gave me intense satisfaction. ;)

But the KICKER...? I took a picture of myself in nothing but a sports bra and spandex shorts, and I've posted it on my fridge and in my bedroom. I would post it here to show the monstrosity that my body has become, but I don't really want to get slapped with a class action law suit for blindness caused by my photo. I go through my day craving my fatty nasty foods (soooo yummy), but as I consider getting take out *Just Once*, or buying myself a candy bar in the grocery check out line, or whatever, I remind myself of that disgusting picture and how good it would feel to take an "after" picture to post next to it. I have so little self control that the only sweets in the house is a giant bag of mini bags of M&Ms. Jeff has them hidden somewhere in the house (I have enough self control not to go hunting for them). I get a bag at the end of the day if I'm good. It's like I'm 3 years old...that's how I'm handling this.

I am in the middle of week 4. I am doing it! I am really sticking to exercising, Jillian isn't kicking my butt nearly as much as she did in the beginning, and even when I have bad days of giving in to cravings, I haven't given up yet. Weight loss so far? 1 pound. Which is discouraging...but I try not to think about it. My first goal is about time...not weight. Besides, I know the weight loss thing won't be easy...I was practically a bulimic for the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy with Lily, throwing up 3-5 times a day for 2 months...and I only lost 10 pounds in those 2 months. Seriously...if THAT kind of calorie cutting won't work, we're just going to make small goals ;)

So, since I have been mildly successful with starting to exercise (and I'm slowly learning to spell with without spell-check), I am announcing it here. On April 22 (a few days after I started and when I took the horrid picture), I was 170 pounds. A nice round number to start at. I would like to get back to the number I was when I got married 10 years ago...140-145. I am 5'9" tall, so that seems like a reasonable number...no way can I get back to my high school weight of 120...3 kids have ruined me for that ;) I have no time goal for getting to this weight...it's just my final goal. And Jeff has promised me that if I get to that goal...no, no, WHEN I get to that goal, he will send me on a trip *without my kids* to visit my best friend Pamela in California (whom I haven't seen since Andrew was 18 months old). I haven't quite told Pamela this, so hopefully she'll take me. Luckily it will probably be like 2 years before I get there, so she'll have plenty of time to prepare ;)

Wish me luck! Hopefully in 5-6 months I can post those pictures... with a "improved" picture after it. And then in a year or so...? Maybe after pictures.