The Long Haul

When you are dating someone, anniversaries are very important. 2 weeks since our first date. 6 months since our first kiss. Oh my God, we've been a couple for 18 months. Etc. etc. etc. I think marking every inch of your journey is so important because you just don't know how long it will last. So each step, each milestone IS significant. Dating relationships are precarious. One day you are happily eating at Applebee's, the next you find out that he uses his toothbrush to clean his teeth and his toenails. Or whatever. Who knows how long they will last.

When I got married, the anniversaries became less important. We still mention them and reminise, but we often forget them. Because when you are expecting to be together forever...what is 6 years? 12 years? Just a small fraction of the whole. Worth celebrating, certainly. But not as significant or monumental.

Let's just say that I have been dating Pennsylvania for the last 5 years. Every month and year is a milestone. We've been in this house longer than any other. We've potty trained all 3 kids here. 10 more months and we'll have lived here longer than any other place. All because it feels precarious and temporary. Will we break up this month when Jeff moves us to MN? Or next spring when he moves us to TX. Enjoy the fall this year, because who knows where we'll be next year.

It's time to take my relationship with PA to the next level. It's time to be committed. THIS is my home. THIS is where my children will identify with and grow up. This is where I will go back to work. Where I'll learn how to parent teenagers. I can grumble about things I don't like, like cost of living, but we are choosing to stay and live here and to accept the good with the bad. We may have a smaller house and crappier furniture than if we lived in the mid-west. But we are content and happy and living a good life here.

I am sad that I will not live near my nieces and nephews. That I won't be close enough to help family move or take them to doctor's appointments or cheer along side them at my kids' extracurriculars. I am sad that family guests will always be overnight guests, with all the inconveniences and stress that it brings...for us and them. I am sad that my kids will likely say "soda" instead of "pop" and may even begin saying "wuh-der" for water and "crown" for crayon.

But I'm happy that we have seasons and farms to visit and friendly neighbors. I thrilled with the schools my children will attend. I love the idea of history coming alive with short weekend trips to Plymouth Rock and Independence Hall and Gettysburg. I like having a history with friends and doctors who have known my kids forever and where to go to get great apples. I'm grateful that my husband is happy in his job and makes enough money that I can stay home with my kids. We have a good life here. A very good life.

Jeff accepted a new job yesterday. An engineering job that will make him happier and challenge him in new ways. A job that is better suited to his strengths and gifts and talents. A job that has the potential to last him a long long time. A job that is located in the greater Philadelpia area.

I know nothing is certain. But that could be said in marriage too. I just live life assuming that Jeff and I will be together forever...even though I know the realities of infidelity, tragedy, etc. So...it's time to commit to Pennsylvania. I think we're in this for the long haul. Halleluia!