Take a deep breath and count to ten...

...it's just one of those days.

I am blogging to keep myself from going upstairs and smothering my first born. Seriously.

This morning we trekked all the way to New Jersey to go to see some singer at Pottery Barn Kids with my playgroup. Andrew would not even stay in the store. Wouldn't even play with all the toys while the music group played. Would not sit to eat lunch with our friends. Was just...well...3.

Got home. Lily is down to her last ounce of wakefullness and she is due to eat. I manage to stretch her long enough that I can put Andrew in his room for "quiet rest time" aka "read every book on the shelf and occasionally throw them to see what mom will do". This is one of the first days that I do not put a pull-up on Andrew for nap time. He ALWAYS poops during nap, so I know that the only way I will get him to go in the potty is to NOT put a diaper on him at nap.

I change Lily's diaper and settle down for a nice relaxing nursing session that I hope will be followed by a nap. It has been 2 days since Lily has napped in her crib. So the Napless Wonder is drifting into a milk induced haze...perfect for napping. She's almost there, when...KNOCK KNOCK KICK. I hear Andrew pounding the hell out of his door (we still have him childproofed in so he can't escape). I try and will Lily with my mind to finish nursing so I can lay her down. I am having visions of Andrew trying not to poop his pants, but Mommy just won't come to the room. Oh the guilt. Oh the neglect. Poor poor Andrew. So I decide to try and rush Lily, and lay her down. She immediately begins screaming, because she wasn't quite finished nursing. Nap possibilities are infinitely less likely now. But it's worth it if I spare my firstborn the trauma of being locked in his room, unable to prevent messing his pants.

I rush to Andrew's room, open the door, and say, "Do you have to go potty?"

"No, Mom, but I have to tell you that my best girlfriend is Aunt Sara and my best boy friend is Pepere."

"What? I just destroyed Lily's nap and mealtime for that? From now on, only knock if you have to go potty"

"Oh, then I have to go potty" Andrew slowly slowly slowly creeps to the bathroom. Lily is screaming to the heavens down the hall. He dances a little as he prepares to climb up the stool in front of the toilet. I lose patience and roughly put him up there. He pushes to high heaven to get a small stream out. Then he says "Do I get a Skittle now?"

"You can have one when you get up from your rest"

"Scream scream wail scream" (these are from my irate 3 year old...as well as the baby next door).

I really just want to get the GD Skittles and throw them at Andrew. But I realize he is an egocentric 3 year old...just what he should be. So I run downstairs to retrieve the Skittle, all the while saying, "Take a deep breath and count to 10." I give Andrew one and leave to try and get the Napless Wonder to take that nap.

No can do. The nap opportunity has passed. Now I just have a slightly cranky baby on my hands. Who rolled all the way across the room to squeal at me while I type this blog, I might add. She is really moving. Man. I can't believe she's over here. And so darn cute. Cooing and squealing...thumping those heels into the floor. Dude, she is so cute. My heart is softening. Maybe Andrew's done me a favor. Some fun time with Lily. But it will make 2 days in a row where I have not been alone for 1 minute the entire day. -sigh- Maybe tomorrow I'll get to go to the bathroom without someone watching. ;)

Edited to add: No fun time with Lily. After 3 minutes of cute playing, she melted down into a screaming mess. She is screaming in her crib right now because why should I hold her and have her scream when she can be in her crib doing the same thing? Andrew is throwing books. I need a big chocolate sundae. Or a stiff drink.