Under appreciated

A few months ago, I wrote a little about my dad on his 60th birthday. Great guy, my dad.

Yesterday was my mom's 59th birthday. Where was her tribute? She is equally as wonderful as my dad...so where is my birthday blog for her?

I did it on purpose...if you'll believe that. It's to make a point. Dad's are the flashy, easy to love, often sung heroes of a family. I think many people find it very easy to think of their fathers fondly (assuming they haven't left their family in the dust or something), where it is very easy for women especially to be extremely critical of their mothers. Not fair. Not fair at all. Mothers are the cornerstones that families are built upon. They aren't flashy or dramatic like the spires and arches, but they are essential. At least, that's my mother.

She has been a mom for 33 years now. She has dedicated her life to her 3 kids and husband. And yet, if you asked her, she would say she did a so-so job. This frustrates me to no end (see how it's easy to be critical of your mother?). My mom has picked apart her mothering, finding the errors and missteps and magnifying them so they obscure her view. What she may not realize is that I would not trade her for any other...missteps and all.

My mother didn't really teach us to cook or sew. I have very few memories of doing big projects with her, like gingerbread houses or painting. I don't remember elaborate birthday parties or lots of gifts. I DO remember lots of hugs and kisses, being told I was beautiful and wonderful over and over and over (despite my protests), and always feeling like we were the most important things in the universe. Which would you prefer?

Mom quietly and unassuming taught me (and still teaches me) the most important things in life. She is gracious to all she meets, always thinking of others and acting honestly and sincerely. This is why she makes friends so easily, and keeps them despite distance and time. She has a hard time saying no because she wants is to make others happy. At the same time, she stands up for what she believes...my mom is definitely not a push-over. She just knows when it's worth a fight and when it's just better to go with the flow...even if she's secretly groaning inside. She has taught me that nice clothes, great makeup, and perfectly coiffed hair is definitely not as important as your actions and words. That no meal is complete unless there is a vegetable and a fruit. That it is a wonderful to dedicate your life to people you love, but no man can rule your universe.

She has made me know to the core of my being that no matter what others think, there is someone in this world that thinks I am special and wonderful. That is the most powerful gift of all, because nothing can defeat you if you know she is there to catch you if you fall.

I know I have under appreciated my mother through my life. Moving away from her was my first lesson in how much I need her. Having children has opened my eyes to how I have overlooked all that she does and did while I was growing up. And seriously, do I even need to list all the things she STILL does to make my life easier? Need I remind you all of my recent move with a 3 week old? I can only hope that all my frantic phone calls ("How do you cook chicken?" or "I just may kill your grandchild today") let her know that I wouldn't want to be in a world that didn't include her.

So thanks, Mom, for all you do and continue to do. I love you and my only wish is that you could know what a great mother you've always been. I only hope I've been paying enough attention so I can do the same for my kids. Love you-