Pregnancy is long and boring. Especially when it's not happening to you. Yet people feel obligated to discuss it with you...even if they have nothing to say. Which is most of the time...40 weeks is a lot of small talk time to fill. It starts even before you get knocked up. If you are married and of child-bearing years, you are subject to these repetitive questions that almost never lead to interesting conversation. I have compiled a list to help those of you out there who have not done this pregnancy thing and are curious:
Pre-conception.
-Are you going to have kids?
-Are you going to have more kids?
-You're not going to have MORE kids, are you?
Post pregnancy announcement/1st trimester.
-How are you feeling? (If you answer good, they will tell you how lucky you are. If you answer bad, they will give you 1,001 tried and true home remedies. And tell you it will be over soon.)
-Are you going to find out the gender? (If you answer no, they will ask you why because they LOVED knowing or they will say "Good for you!" If you answer yes, you will more than likely get a long winded answer about how you are ruining one of the few true surprises in life. (people who don't find out the gender have a major superiority complex. You must be prepared to deal with it...or join their club and spend the rest of your life judging the rest of the "surprise-ruiners") )
2nd trimester (aka: the most uneventful trimester).
-Are you going to find out the gender? (see rant above)
-How are you feeling? (God forbid you answer crummy. Nobody wants a depressing answer by this point. They are SICK of you answering you are SICK.)
-Isn't this the best part of pregnancy? Enjoy it, because the next one drags. (Gee, thanks. Since it's too late for me to get out of it by now...)
-Wow, aren't you really small for this far along? Shouldn't you be showing more?
-Wow, aren't you really big for this far along? How big are you going to get?
- Do you have names picked out? (If you don't, be prepared for a long list of suggestions which you must dodge judgment of with polite smiles, nods, and enthusiastic, "Mmmmmm, yes. I hadn't thought of THAT one.")
3rd trimester (aka: the longest trimester).
-Haven't you had that baby yet?
-Are you having twins? I've never seen anyone that huge.
-What names do you have picked out? (If you do, be prepared for people dodging judgement with polite smiles, nods, and overly enthusiastic, "Mmmmmm, yes. I hadn't thought of THAT one.")
- Are you scared about ______________? (3rd trimester is the perfect time for everyone's most horrific birth stories to come out. When I was 9 months pregnant with Andrew, I actually had a woman ask me if I was scared about him strangling himself with his umbilical cord. Because that's what happened to her SIL. Gee...thanks for freaking me out. I wasn't scared enough about passing this watermelon through my Hoo-Ha. Now I have to worry if the baby is going to survive? Excellent timing!)
4 days after having the baby.
-Are you going to have more kids?
-You're not going to have MORE kids, are you?
I'm sure those of you who have been pregnant can add to my list of repetitive questions. For the record, I'm not judging the questioners. I am one of them. I try not to do the more obnoxious ones, but sometimes I give in. It's like watching a car wreck. You know you shouldn't participate, but you just can't help yourself. I see a pregnant woman, and before I know it, I've popped out one of the dumb questions. It's practically unavoidable. Because if you don't ask anything, you look like an insensitive ass who doesn't care that they are busy creating a little miracle.
Next post: Am I going to find out the gender? and How am I feeling?
11 comments:
Ha! Yes.
I think the surprise is just as surprising no matter when I find out.
When I was expecting the twins, I must have heard a dozen stories about people who had a twin die. Thanks! That's helpful!
For names, I say we've picked one out but we're keeping it a surprise. Even if we haven't picked one out yet.
I always ask stuff. But I try to keep it to happy questions. And no comments on the woman's SIZE, jeezus.
Um. Have you thought of any NAMES yet?
Heh. Yeah.
I hate getting the same question day after day... from people I SEE every day (at work). They have no imagination I guess! Ask me about what TV show I watched last night, for heaven's sake.
:)
HA HA! The whole, There's-no-surprises-left-in-life reasoning makes NO SENSE TO ME. What kind of life are these people living? Because MY life has way, way too many surprises. Like poop filled cribs and empty wipes containers, or ants taking over my kitchen, or hey! the power went off AGAIN for the fifth time in four days and I'm home in 100 degrees with two babies! Too many surprises, I say.
Let's limit surprises. I will go on record saying that life has too many surprises. Find out the gender! (Aren't you glad I have such a strong opinion on this?)
I LOVE the questions people come up with!!!
When we were expecting Ryan we told everyone we were going to name him Indiana after Indiana Jones!
This time aorund I am telling people that I am going to let Ryan name the baby so he'll probably be Quincy (from Einsteins) or Diego!
Superiority? I just didn't want to let go of either possibility. I had dreams of boys and dreams of girls and couldn't give it up. Disappointment was inevitable, but i figured I wouldn't have any if I found out while I was holding the baby (and for the record... there was still about a day of disappointment giving up the other possibility, and then HUGE guilt for holding the baby and having disappointment. I would have happened the exact same way if he'd been a girl.) So it was never about wanting to keep a surprise and more about living the dream of either way. Would I wait again? That would depend of if there will ever BE another again.
Yea, Kate, you were definitely not in the judgemental "wait and see" crowd. I can't remember you ever saying a word about anyone else finding out. You have to have run into the ones I'm talking about, though. I'm sure they congratulated you on holding out. I "suppose" I shouldn't lump all of you "wait and see" people together. But if I didn't stereotype, my blog wouldn't be funny. ;)
i ran across your blog today. i think this was the best post on the pregnancy stages that i have ever seen! great!
My current pregnancy pet peeve...the number of people who once they hear I am having a girl after having two boys, tell me the story about someone they knew that were told they were having a girl and it ended up being a boy. I don't want to hear that! Are you kidding me!? Especially since I have already gotten rid of all the boys clothes and the girlie room is all done! ARGH!
Re: the 'askers" of the gender, tell them that you are hoping for a puppy!
And speaking of that puppy, what will you be naming it?
I found your blog on my friend Jayme's. I have been lurking for a few days. I too am pregnant (11 weeks) with our second.
I would like to add my favorite question...
Are you going to breast feed? No matter your answer. You still get all the amazing information you could want, even if they don't have children. Everyone seems to have to know how I will be feeding my child.
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