On the mend...?

I woke up this morning feeling marginally better than yesterday. I can't explain why. I still have complete sinus blockage...which makes you feel like you're walking around with a snorkel on. I still have the body shaking cough. I still tossed and turned most of the night. And yet...I don't feel quite like killing myself today. I'll take what I can get.

However, this being sick has created a comedy of sorts in my house. A dark comedy, if you will. This cough is driving me crazy. I'm wheezing...which is bad for someone whose diaphragm is already cramped by 5 pounds of baby. And my coughing spells result in back pain spasms or strong contractions or both at the same time. And this morning, it has been making me throw up.

So I ate my Cheerios and bananas. I have a coughing fit. I can tell I'm going to lose my breakfast, so I try to get to the bathroom quickly. I am having a cough-induced contraction, so walking quickly is a challenge. I JUST make it to the toilet and give the old heave-ho...which results in another coughing spell, which gives me another contraction. Because I'm now sitting on the floor of the bathroom, my nerve pain in my back twinges and I am frozen in agony, wondering how I'm going to haul my big self up off the floor.

And I just started laughing. I mean, seriously. Can you get any more pathetic than this? Thank God the kids were watching Elmo. I guess that would be more pathetic...if my kids needed me during this little display of helplessness.

We shoot horses to put them out of their misery. Why not expectant mothers? My baby would survive just fine outside the womb...he doesn't need me anymore. Can't someone just shoot me?