Are you having a third?

Okay, here's another disgruntled venting post. Geesh..you'd think with all this beautiful weather I'd be in a better mood.

So the minute you start dating someone, the nosy questions start. The progression goes something like this:

(dating for 3 months) Oh, you've been dating a while, when are you going to get engaged?

(2 seconds after getting engaged) Oh! When are you getting married?

(3 weeks after getting married) Oh! When are you going to have a baby?

(6 months after having baby #1) Oh! Are you going to have a second?

Now, I thought that having achieved all these expectations, I would now be off the hook. I even had a boy and a girl, so I could avoid the inevitable, "Are you going to try for a girl/boy?" question that plagues same sex sibling families.

But, no, it seems that John Q. Public expects an endless stream of offspring to come from my loins. Granted, I get asked a lot less frequently than I did after Andrew, but, Dude, Lily is only 7 months old. Take a glance at how far apart my 2 kids are spaced...even if we WERE going to have a third, we certainly wouldn't be doing anything about it now.

I know it is just meaningless small talk. I am just as guilty of asking people these nosy questions. Although I try to stop myself most of the time. After taking a while to get pregnant, I can't imagine how annoying these questions are to people who are genuinely having fertility problems (I can't ever claim to understand these people...it felt like it took FOREVER for me to get pregnant, but I have managed it 3 times in the 8 years I've been married...so I can't be too pouty about it.) Anyhoo, despite my very minor trip in "I have no kids, even though I want them desperately"-land, I have new respect for how painful these nosy questions can be.

I wish I were really clever. I'd love to tell the checkout lady, "Oh, gosh, yes we're having more. My husband and I would like 12 or 15." Or, "Heck, I've got to figure out who these two kids' daddies are before I start down that road again."

I am a little flattered that people ask. I feel totally inept at handling my 2...it strokes my ego that people would even think I should have a 3rd as I struggle to pen in my pre-schooler and non-mobile 2nd child. It helps to balance out my own mother's opinion, "You should stop at 2." She says it's because I'm so sick during pregnancy, but she has spent a lot of time observing me mothering two...so you be the judge.

In a nutshell...I can't believe I have to field this question again...and so soon. I've got to get something else as a conversation starter...like a bolt through my nose or a really big tattoo on my neck.