Yesterday's rant

Yesterday's rant was brought to you by the following:

--being up for the day at 2:30 am due to various children issues, a mighty wind storm, and pregnancy-induced back/hip/joint pain
--finally succumbing to the cold that everyone else in the house has had for weeks (probably due to loss of sleep, come to think of it)
--Andrew being on a major food strike/play strike, which leaves everyone irritable
--Andrew waking up at 5 am for the day
--disappointment in missing out on my play date of the week due to pinkeye
--disappointment in realizing I'd be missing out on the pre-school mommy brunch Tuesday due to pinkeye
--Lily taking no morning nap and refusing to take an afternoon nap
--Lily discovering the Christmas tree ornaments therefore rendering it impossible to leave her alone for 2 seconds

I think that's all. Look for more re-runs of this episode in April, when sleepless nights are once again a reality. Thank you.




Luckily for me and the children, my husband came home at 2 pm yesterday. He is so intuitive...after 8 years of marriage, he really knows when I need him. Or maybe it was this message I left him on his voice mail at work:

"-sob- I think it may be time, -sob-, for you to find a new wife because I am no good at this I can't get the children to eat, Lily won't sleep, Andrew needs to sleep, but he won't go, I can't even go to social functions because I suck at cooking I've been to the grocery 5 times in the last 4 days and I still don't have everything I need What is wrong with me Maybe I should go back to work full time so the children have someone decent taking care of them Other women manage to work part time, have clean houses with their hair blown dry and bake loads of Christmas cookies and play games with their children and have gardens that are trimmed and neat and have dinner on the table and I can't even make 2 dozen cookies and Andrew has pink eye so I'm going to miss out on meeting all the pre-school mommies, not that I would have anything in common with them since I am such a hopeless failure at being a stay at home mom. I'm sorry to call you but I don't have anyone else to call I get so lonely I feel like I am going to break into a million pieces inside I just miss having normal conversations that aren't about kids and now I have to miss out on that because I suck. I should quit. SOOOOOOBBBBBB."

Somehow, out of that message (or one quite like it...I couldn't remember word for word what I said), Jeff figured out that I was a woman-on-the-edge. He called to see if I wanted him to come home, because he knows I am a complex woman, and that it was likely I would feel like even MORE of a failure if he came home unannounced. Other women don't have their husbands come home so they can bake frickin' cookies. I couldn't stop crying as I talked to him, so he just came home. And by the time he got here, Lily had finally fallen asleep, Andrew was finally willing to watch tv, and we probably would've been okay. But it was very nice to have him. I went to the grocery by myself and found what I needed and made my cookies for tonight. He read Lily a ton of books and made dinner and gave me hugs every couple of minutes. He told me soothing things, like, "There is no evidence that your mother made cookies when you were this little." and, "I'm sure the other mother's have relatives to pawn their children off on for a few hours so they can bake.", and other non-truths to make me feel better and less deficient as a mother.

Heaven help me, but I love this man.