Academy of Natural Sciences

We have a bad habit as a family. We usually only do fun and new activities when we have visitors. But we are trying to break that trend. Sunday we decided to ditch church again (I know, I barely have time to think I'm so busy polishing my halo) to go to Philadelphia's Academy of Natural Sciences. I think it should actually be called, "Museum of dino bones and other random crap we've collected that people might take their kids to see." That means dino bones, stuffed/taxidermied animals/animal rescue. It was a strange collection of stuff, but we had fun.

I wanted a shot of us pretending we were going to be eaten by this large, scary fish dinosaur. Instead looks like me every afternoon about 4:00. Except my hands would be around Andrew's neck. And Lily would be crying.

Andrew and Jeff in front of T-rex. It's really hard to get your flash to catch that huge reptile.

In the randomness that was this museum, Andrew got to pet a tarantula. And a rat. Weird.

Andrew inside T-rex's mouth. I can hear all the archaeologists that read my blog screaming in horror. Relax. It is a mold...not a real skeleton.

Andrew riding a bronze tortoise. Again, museum of randomness would be a better title.

This was our view walking out of the museum. Historic Logan Square. Which is actually a circle. Go figure.

One of my favorite sights in Philly. That's the City Hall. Ben Franklin sits on top overlooking the city. It's a really pretty building. Not a very pretty picture, but I swear it's cool in person.

The swing set

Okay, so this first one isn't actually of the swing set. It's of Andrew's gladiator outfit he likes to dress up in. Isn't he cute? It won't be long before this gladiator is chasing a little dressed-up princess/fairy/ballerina around.

Here's Jeff working on the swing set. Back-breaking, sweat poring, awful work. And we made Jeff's 59 year old father do it. In the rain.

This is a shot of the piles of wood. There were many more piles in our garage. They did not come labeled. We had to measure each one and try to figure out which was which.

Lily loves her new swing!

The finished product! This picture is a case study for safety code violations. I promise that we (and by "we", I mean Jeff) have added rails to the part that starts the tunnel. And we almost never leave Lily unattended in the swing while Andrew kicks soccer balls around her.

Anybody want to come and play?

New theme song

Lily has suddenly become a very proficient crawler. She is EVERYWHERE. She loves this new trick. And she now has a new theme song:

I WILL FOLLOW HIM (to the tune of the song by the same name by Little Peggy March)

I will follow him, follow him wherever he may go,
And near him, I always will be,
For nothing can keep me away, Since I am crawling.

I will follow him, ever since I spied his toys I knew,
There isn't an ocean too deep,
A mountain so high, it can keep,
Keep me away, away from his stuff.

I love him, I love him, I love him,
And where he goes, I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow.



Can you guess who she's following? It ain't God, I'll tell you that. And can you guess the reaction of this "Him"? It's been an interesting few days ("Keep her away from me! She's following me again!")

Apologies

Sometimes when I'm in a waiting room with my children, (or a restaurant, grocery store, parking lot...you get the idea), I feel like apologizing to all the pregnant women present.

Not to the childless present. For all I know, they are swinging single, or have an empty nest, or whatever. After dealing with my whiny, shrieking tots they get to go home to...I don't know...read novels, go to the movies, clean their grout...whatever. No apologies from me, they can put up with a few annoying minutes in a waiting room.

Not to the other mothers and fathers. With them I share a silent eyeroll and shrug. I know they are thinking, "Thank God it isn't my kid for once."

But I DO want to apologize to the pregnant ladies. It could be their first pregnancy. In which case, watching my kids be...well, normal kids, is akin to telling a 5 year old there is no Santa. Shattering a dream that has inevitably formed in their head. They sit at home, their every need catered to by an attentive husband/mother/sister/anyone in the nearby vicinity. During all of their copious free time, they put their feet up and stroke their swollen belly fondly and imagine life with their precious little one yet to come. These dreams are not of sweet potatoes that are found in ears 2 days after it was eaten (seriously...it spreads like a fungus). These dreams do not include vomit clean-up at 2 am. Or mouthy comebacks. Or spitting or kicking or picking noses or poop up the back of a onesie and how will you avoid the hair as you take it off or reading the same book/singing the same songs/watching the same movie 1,000 times...a week.

After watching my children, I can only think of two outcomes. #1- They are horrified by the demon-spawn that they have wriggling inside them. They panic wondering how they will manage not to kill their children before they reach adulthood. #2- They look at me scornfully and think, "I'm going to be a much better mother than her. My child will never have food on their face/scream in public/eat things off the floor/ etc etc. I'm so lucky I won't have to deal with kids like hers."

Most new moms probably fall under outcome #2...so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad after all.

Potter envy

I started Harry Potter Monday night.

I finished Harry Potter Wednesday morning.

My children were neglected. My husband was neglected. My chores were neglected...but I can't blame that last one on a book...my chores are ALWAYS neglected.

Now Jeff has started the book. And I am envious. HE hasn't finished the series yet. HE hasn't read all the exciting passages. I eagerly ask him what part he's at...remembering what emotions I felt as I read that section. I'm so jealous.

I need a life.

Odds 'n' Ends

I will not be posting much the next few days. I will be doing one of the following during my precious free time:

1) Reading Harry Potter
2) Painting the gargantuan wooden structure that now graces our backyard so it won't crack and fall apart upon first freeze.
3) Starting on-line graduate courses so I can keep my teaching certificate in case there is an Apocalypse and I wish to teach again.

Probably in that order.

A few things to tide you over until my next titillating update...

Lily has her first tooth! One of the bottom little teeth has reared it's sharp edge. Maybe this is why she hasn't wanted solids for the last 2 days??? Lily is crawling! She is also pushing herself up from a tummy position into a sitting position (she does the splits to do that...it looks quite painful). She is getting into things left and right. Do you think this is an appropriate time to baby proof?

Funny Andrew story: We were outside just before bedtime. Jeff was getting ready to add a rail to the top of our play structure and Andrew was running around underneath and on top of play structure (motivating Jeff to finish so Andrew won't plummet to the ground and break bones). I said, "Okay, I"m setting my timer for 10 minutes and then you'll have to get ready for bed." Andrew turns to me and earnestly says, "Are you talking to Dad or me?"

New York City...and a huge project

I know some of you may think that a lack of post about New York means that I was wandering the city with a cardboard sign saying, "Lost my friends. Please take me back to Pennsylvania." I WAS a bit worried while I was there that I would lose my friends...because I had NO IDEA where I was or how to get places. But I did make it back home safe and sound Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, I couldn't post because everyone else at my house was doing back-breaking labor.



Let's start from the beginning. I got all gussied up and went to one of my friend's houses...she was driving us all into the city. She lived in Manhattan for many years, so she is very comfortable driving there. If there was no traffic, the drive should take around 90 minutes. It took us 3 hours because it was Friday afternoon. Once there, we had a hard time finding parking near our hotel because of that water/steam line break...it was right around the corner from us. We dropped our bags off and hoofed it to the restaurant. It was so nice to have complete conversations with these girls. I learned so much about them...and never once was a story interrupted. Amazing! After dinner we hoofed it to the theatre (there was much hoofing around...thank heavens I decided to go with the less attractive/more comfy shoes). Wicked was very enjoyable. I read the book and found the middle part boring...this play kind of skipped all the boring parts. It was surprisingly funny. But it is probably my least favorite musical that I've ever seen. I am a sucker for male voices...and this is a primarily female musical. Still very good. Afterwards, we went to a bar overlooking Times Square and had drinks and chocolate cake. Went back to the hotel and slept.



At this point, I wasn't all that enamored with NYC. Not that I was expecting to be. I am NOT a city person, crowds make me grouchy (hence the 6 years of grump in SoCal). Friday night was full of honking cabs, pushy people, and nothing but concrete. I had a great time with my friends, but I was having a hard time mustering up enthusiasm for the Big Apple. Saturday we woke up early and went to Rockefeller Center, St. Patrick's Cathedral, and Central Park. Lots of walking. And I really enjoyed it. Not many people were out and there is such history and beauty in the city. St. Pat's actually moved me to tears. Really cool. It made me want to go back. I have to give credit to the 5 ladies showing me around. They were so excited to have a NYC newbie with them and were full on tour guides the whole time. They were ALL perfect traveling companions, and I could spend a week with them without getting irritated. That's pretty amazing considering there were 6 of us. Oh, wait. Maybe I was the annoying one. ;)

I came home EXHAUSTED, since dumb me went to bed at 2 am and woke up at 6 am. Hmmmm, not smart. But Jeff and his dad and his mom had been working on our new swing set, so I couldn't really complain. This thing is monstrous and complicated and just a general pain in the you-know-what. Jeff and Paul were hardly grumbling...at least not when I was around. The kids behaved well, although Andrew really liked to play with the screws and washers...which is not a good thing when you go to look for them and they've been thrown in the yard somewhere.

So I'm sneaking in this post while the in-laws are out shopping for a part that Sam's Club excluded from the set. Ugh. Poor things.

So that was our weekend. I'm ready to go exploring more of NYC...but not without my tour guides. And I will someday post pictures of our fantastic wooden wonderland...but I'll wait until it's finished so you can see it in all it's glory.

Girl's Night Out

Oh. My. God.

I'm going to wet my pants I'm so excited. I'm going to New York this afternoon with a bunch of ladies from my playgroup. We're going to get dressed up (for us, anyway), eat dinner without children, go see Wicked...on Broadway no less, go out afterwards, collapse in exhaustion...

Oh, wait, that last part is probably just me. I am the only NYC virgin in the group...the rest have lived there or near there once upon a time. I'm sure there will be much laughing at my open mouthed gaping. "Look, Maude! That there shore is a beeeeg buildin'"

So. Excited.

Awry

Is Awry a word? I think so. It is how my day went today.

I made a list. I'm a big list-maker...a much bigger list-maker than list-doer. So I made a list of what we could do today. We've been desperately bored the last few days, and I was determined to DO something with my children.

Item #1: Raspberry picking. There is a farm right down the street with a store full of little pints of raspberries...or you can pick them yourself. So I drive to the field and park on the edge of the road, strap Lily to my chest (God Bless Bjorn), and get Andrew out. He is already unnerved by the long weeds he has to walk through. Uh, hello? Been in our yard lately? He should be used to walking through long weeds, for heavens sake. Anyhoo, there were already about 10 guys out there picking...you know, to stock the little store for the pansies that don't want to experience nature and pick their own fruit. Problem is...it was about 8:30 when Andrew and I arrived, and these guys had probably been picking for 2 hours already. So it was pretty hard to find a berry left behind. Couple that with the thorns (when we picked strawberries, we didn't have this problem) and Andrew was out. Until I allowed him to sample a berry off the vine. Then he was willing to pick them...but they were immediately popped into his mouth. He WOULD NOT put them in the basket. I decided that we'd had enough of picking, envisioning one of the workers yelling, "Hey, lady! This ain't no breakfast buffet!" (say with thick Philly accent). I loaded kids up in car and drove directly to the store and bought 2 pints of raspberries. Pansy.

Item #2: Lily nap. Hooray! I accomplished something on my list! Andrew and I re-read his library books (which are actually quite good this week), played a game (there was no throwing of pieces either!), and played Gladiator (I've got to publish pictures of him in this costume...too cute).

Item #3: Go to mall to pick up Lily's pictures. I was sooooo ready for this. I packed us a lunch so we could save money and be healthy and then spend money on icecream or water ice or whatever little treat we wanted. I had Andrew all psyched to run around. I had double stroller packed. Halfway there, I realize that I left the packed lunch behind. Bummer. But at least we are going to the mall...we'll just have to buy lunch. Get to the mall and notice lots of mall cops congregating outside one of the entrances. Hmmm. Unload the children into stroller. As I start walking towards it, a woman informs me that the entire mall is shut down due to a gas leak. You can only get into Sears or Macy's. Don't need to go to those stores. Go to Burger King instead. Check back after lunch to see if I can get the pictures from JC Penney yet. Firetrucks and ambulances surrounding JC Penney. Yikes. Not meant to be.

All other items are banking on us having spent a few hours in the mall. List is almost obliterated. Except for this really cool children's concert in the park at 7 pm tonight. So excited to take Andrew...get him excited...he takes nap in anticipation of staying up later.

Rains out.

-sigh- Sometimes despite my best efforts...

On a postive, Andrew was able to stay awake to catch fireflies because of his nap. It was lovely. All these plans and he was thrilled to catch these tiny flickering little beetles. He'll probably remember that longer than some dumb concert. ;)

What a girl

I must brag about my second born. I spend much of my time on this blog bragging about Andrew. This is because he is older, therefore doing some pretty amazing things. And, sadly, Lily is the second child...so there will always be someone older doing pretty amazing things, while she is mostly doing things we've already seen before. But I am immensely proud and astonished by her as well. Here are some things my amazing girl is doing.

a) She is weird. I'm so glad. That means she will fit in with the rest of this kooky crowd. Her new favorite game? When I go to wipe off her face, she opens her mouth nice and wide. She likes me to put the washcloth in her mouth and wiggle around while she makes noise. It makes a funny sound, and she is thrilled by it. Weirdo. I've already described the injured soldier crawl. I can't put her hair in pig-tails because she is dragging her head around on the ground as she "crawls"...they just fall right out. Weirdo.

b) She officially knows her first sign! Andrew's first was "More" because he always wanted more food more food more food. Lily is the opposite...of course. Her first sign is "All done" because she only wants star puffs. 2 spoonfuls of cereal and Lily is flashing me the all done sign. When I comply she gets all smiley. And if I say "All done", she immediately does the sign. Smarty pants. Andrew didn't start signing until a year. Not that I'm comparing (damnit). She also surprised me today by waving bye bye. Who knew she could do that?

c) She is in love with Shadow. She wants to throw the ball for Shadow, she wants to feed Shadow, she wants Shadow to lick her fingers off, she wants to pat Shadow. Jeff and I now rank below Andrew AND the dog. Sad.

d) This child is NOT a Momma's girl. Andrew could not let me out of his sight. He would throw a fit if it wasn't his Mommy. Lily is the friendliest most independent little social butterfly ever. She is happy to be passed around...as long as she can still view the action. Don't even try to hug her...not going to happen. Totally different temperament from cuddlebug Andrew. Not that I'm comparing (damnit). She does like to pat me on the back...like I pat her on the back. Cute.

Okay, I'll stop. I swear someday I'm going to rename this blog, "Bragging by a Disillusioned Maniac Mother."

If I have to watch one more race...

When I envisioned having kids, I thought of crafts, cooking, science experiments, pretend play.

My life is reduced to playing sports and watching car races. Or spaceship races. Or caterpillar races.

Dear Lord. My child does not want to leave the house. He does not want to bake cookies. He does not want to color. He does not want to paint. He gets frustrated by games. He gets frustrated by physical challenges. He gets frustrated by writing/drawing/painting.

He loves to race.

All day long, all I hear is, "Mom, do you want to watch a race?" This sounds all well and good at first. I get to sit and watch him race blocks, cars, dust bunnies, you name it. But DEAR LORD. After 6 hours straight, I feel like I'm going insane. There is always a long description of each racer before the race can begin. And you must listen intently to this description or else he'll start all over again.

"Mom, you wanna watch a race? Okay, this black car is Jack Johnson McDogglogger. He is faster than Chick Hicks, McQueen, or Doc. He is an Escape. He is on a secret mission to take dogloggers from pirates. He's a really good fighter. Do you think he looks cool? Do you like him?" And on through the other 9 racers. Finally you get to the actual race. Andrew flies around the house holding each one. "Who do you want to win?" You pick one, and then you are expected to react when your car wins/loses. As if you can remember which of the 9 you picked. If your response is inappropriate, the race needs to start again...complete with descriptions.

This is why my child watches too much tv.

No nap doldrums

Andrew isn't sleeping. He's doing fine. I'm going crazy.

Does it mean I shouldn't be a parent if I NEED a break from him during the day? Summer is boring...too hot to do much, no scheduled activities. I NEED an hour break from the kids. But Andrew is staying up late, waking up early, and not napping. I feel like my sister Kate, for heaven's sake.

So the not going to bed at night was really bad. So I decided that we were watching too much tv, and taking too much rest time during the day. We've just cut those out. And I want to cry.

He IS going to bed much better since the change. And he really acts fine without the nap/rest time. It's me that needs it. It's me that is grouchy at the end of the day now. It's me that's breaking down into tantrums several times a day.

So I'm basically forced to choose if I want my evenings child-free or my afternoons. And now I've got to think of lots more to do with Andrew during the day...or else I will go INSANE.

Forward motion

Lily is on the move! Technically, she's been rolling all over the place for a month or so, and she's been scooting backwards for a couple of weeks. But she now has forward motion.

As usual, she is doing it her own way. This child will not do things her brother's way. You should see her crawl. It has been a process. She first started scooting backwards. Then she would scoot backwards and roll towards something. If the direction wasn't quite right, she's swivel herself around and try rolling again. She would eventually hit the mark, but it took a while. Today she is pushing forward with her two legs and pulling with her right arm. Her left arm and face drag on the floor. It looks like a scene out of a war movie. Like Lily was shot in the left shoulder and is dragging herself to the safe zone. But it is effective. She gets where she wants to.

Also this weekend? We found her sitting up in her crib. Who knew she could get from lying to sitting! Also starting to look up...as in up on the fireplace, up on chairs, up up up! And she is trying to figure out how to get stuff down from there.

Babyproofing, here we come! Go Lily Go!

Resort community

Jeff and I have always dreamed of buying a home in a resort community. We have lots of dreams. Like adding an addition on our house. We can't even choke up the money to repaint the front hall, but we're going to add an addition. Yea, right.

Anyway, our dream of living in a resort community is coming true! Apparently, we ALREADY live in a resort. Because I met our new neighbors yesterday...and this home is their vacation home!!! They live in Silicon Valley, are private contractors, and usually come back to visit family for about 2 months in the summer. They are sick of staying with family or in hotels, and so decided to buy a place. They actually looked at our house last summer, but weren't quite ready to commit.

Can you imagine? A $425,000 home that you'll just use 8 weeks a year???

The real bummer is how incredibly nice this woman is. She has 2 kids...who instantly clicked with Andrew. Such nice kids. We instantly clicked as well...started chatting easily, feeling very comfortable with each other. I have not found a neighbor like this yet, and have been feeling very down about our neighborhood. It looked so good when we moved in, but we are not in the "in" crowd, and are excluded from most things. Here is a wonderful family with kids just 2 doors down...and they'll be leaving August 21 until next summer.

Arghhhhh! I'll just have to enjoy their company (read: stalk) for as long as I can!

Smaller than average?

How does someone only in the 25%tile have thighs like this???

Lily had her doctor's appointment and she is 25th%tile all across the board. 17lbs14oz, 27 1/4 in. The doctor said around 9 months, genetics starts to kick in and weight and height settle into a pattern for a while. Genetics? I'm pretty sure there's no one in our house that is 25th percentile. Maybe it's a stray midgit gene from Aunt Andrea.

Healthy as a horse...and cute as a button. The doctor came in the room and gave me this big schpeel about how 9 month olds don't usually tolerate the exam well...they are developing stranger anxiety, etc etc. Not Lily. She grabbed all the doctor's tools, patted the doc on her face, and was generally giggly and friendly through the whole thing. Doc picked her up after examining her and said, "You are just the sweetest thing!"

Yea, we know. ;)

Birthday girl!

No, you haven't forgotten when Lily's birthday is. Or mine. Today is Shadow's birthday. She's turning the big 5!

I don't write much about Shadow, because she is so daggone easy, there aren't many stories about her. She is 13 pounds of pure puppy love. She is a purebred Shetland Chicocker (Shetland Sheepdog + Chihuahua + Cocker Spaniel) that we got from the pound as a puppy in September 2002. She (along with her less awesome sister) was a substitute for the baby we were trying hard to have. Jeff REALLY didn't want a dog (still doesn't for that matter)...but he just couldn't say no to a woman that had just had a miscarriage ;) I know when to ask for things. :) Shadow looked nothing like the dog I had imagined, but when I sat down on the floor with that big litter, she just jumped into my lap...hopped down to play...and then hopped right back up into my lap...like she belonged there. And she's been my dog ever since.

She doesn't bark...certainly never yipping. She doesn't pee in the house...unless we forget to let her out. She is healthy. She tolerates the kids without a snap or snarl. She won't even eat food that falls to the ground until she is told she can. Seriously. Lily will drop a tasty morsel 2 inches from Shadow's nose, and the dog won't touch it until we give her the go ahead. We don't have an electric fence or a chain or a regular fence, because Shadow doesn't leave the yard. Everyone who meets her wants her. If we would ever want to get rid of her, there would be a long list of people to take her. But we don't need to get rid of her. Because she is a wonderful dog. Jeff doesn't like her, but even he admits we couldn't have a better dog than her. He just wishes we didn't have one at all.

So Happy Birthday, Shadow! You may have been the runt of the litter...heck you still are the runt of our litter...but we love you lots. Okay, Mommy loves you lots. Lily is starting to obsess about you also. Andrew could kind of care less. But Mommy loves you.

A mass of pictures

I know it is really nice when each post has a little picture added. But I don't work like that, apparently. When I download my camera...I download a lot of pictures. So here are some dating back from our trip in June.

Andrew and Colin

4 generations
It is impossible to pose 3 kids!!! Here are the cousins.
Andrew posing for a picture...nice.
Lily and Andrew drinking juice.
Lily and Andrew with our guests, Aunt Bonnie and Great-Grandma
Lily enjoys trying to take down Memere's curtains
It's really fun!

Dinner date

One of my friends in playgroup sent out an e-mail over the weekend inviting any husband-less person to her house for dinner tonight. Her husband is out of town and she was wanting some company. Poor thing probably thought maybe one of us would respond...but it turns out 3 of us were husband-less tonight, so she ended up with a houseful.

So all in all there were 4 adults and 6 children under the age of 4. Kimber is used to her house being full with her one daughter. Tee hee hee. Welcome, Chaos.

It was a fun evening. Andrew screamed...literally screamed...for the first 15 minutes because he wanted to leave. And I wonder why we aren't invited places. Once I explained that he could scream all night but we still weren't leaving, he tried to calm down and eventually had a great time. Thank heavens I brought a bottle of wine!

Gatherings with more than one mother all usually end up the same way. Tonight was no different. The mothers yell conversation over the happy noises of their children...and each conversation is usually interrupted about 5 times with children needing the potty, needing a fight broken up, needing to say, "stop chasing that cat", etc etc...until we forget what the conversation was supposed to be about in the first place. And we have so much ground to cover! One of the ladies is 9 months pregnant...with no name for her son, one of the ladies is in the process of finishing her home studies to adopt a 3rd child, and the hostess is waiting for her adoption from China to come through.

Anyway, the kids ate their pizza while barking like dogs, then decorated cupcakes...which amped up the energy a bit, and just generally had a noisy good time. Andrew cried when we had to leave (I could KILL that boy sometimes), and as I thanked Kimber for the lovely evening she said...

"I'm glad you had fun. But I must be a terrible hostess. This evening seemed like such chaos."

Spoken like a true novice. I assured her that the chaos had nothing to do with her hostessing skills...it just comes with the territory when you have this many children in one small space. And then Andrew came up and said, "Thank you for dinner, but this house is a mess!"

Lovely. I assure you...we WILL NEVER be invited out again. Well, maybe Lily and I will. ;)

Peacock

When we came back from Ohio, we took a toy with us from my mom's house. She isn't expecting any new grandchildren anytime soon, and Lily will have outgrown it by the time we are back in Ohio. So...we brought it with us to Philly.

It's a Fisher Price Noah's Arc that my mom got from a consignment shop back when Andrew was a baby. It has 2 of each animal...in theory. I think there are 3 alligators and only one lonely zebra in this set...but you get the idea.

Lily loves this thing. She loves pulling each animal out and putting animals back in. She likes to hold the animals, suck and chew them, and roll over them (ouch!). We started noticing that she was often chewing on the male peacock. It is the most colorful of the animals, and the fan of feathers makes a great chew toy.

Now we realize that Mr. Peacock is a full on obsession. She will play with the other animals...once she has found Mr. Peacock. I have hidden him deep down in the arc under the other animals...and she will methodically pull out all the animals and discard them immediately until she locates Mr. Peacock. Then she will happily play with him and forget any other animals left in the arc or discarded to the side.

Today, I hid Mr. Peacock in a clear bin. Lily took all the animals out of the arc...no Mr. Peacock! She then spied him in the bin...and flung herself towards the bin. She emptied it and had a lovely reunion.

How exactly does a 9 month old learn this type of obsession. Oh, wait. Lily's had lots of experience with obsession...Mr. Andrew is still her #1 guy. I see boy band concerts in my future...

Mommy friends

Making friends is an art form. One that comes easily to some and is a struggle for others. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that making Mommy friends is even harder than the average friend making.

In normal, childless situations, making friends involves finding someone who likes to do things that you do or at the very least is interesting to talk to. If you don't share the same political views or religious beliefs, it is very easy to simply avoid these topics or touch on them very gently so no one is offended.

Parenting is very polarizing. See, parents...all parents...have to choose what to focus on. Raising a child is incredibly overwhelming, and no parent can be perfect in all aspects. So each parent must choose what is worth fighting for and what can simply be brushed under the rug. Some parents worry about the food going into their child's mouth (is it organic? is it free from refined sugar? i do not want to do anything to make my child obese/not grow enough). Some worry about germs (did we wash our hands yet? let's stay away from that kid with a runny nose. oh, i must sanitize this paci again.) Some are very strict about rules (no jumping in the house, don't leave the table until we're all finished with the meal, all toys must be cleaned up at the end of the day). You get the idea? Maybe there is a woman out there that manages to stay up on everything 100% of the time. But I don't want to be friends with her. ;)

Okay, so you get that parenting is about choosing what to focus on in the hopes that you will successfully raise your child to be independent, self-sufficient, confident, and hopefully not living in your basement alone at age 45. Heaven help you if you and your spouse have major arguments about what to focus on. But there is the struggle of facing the world around you as well.

See, parents choose (whether consciously or not) what they will struggle to improve in their children. Then they cling to that like it is gospel. And someone who has gone down a slightly different path must be raising their child wrong...because if they end up being correct, then you are wrong. Yikes. That is unacceptable.

This is getting long. But my point is when you get together and try to make friends with another mom, your hot topics are right there out in the open. You can't just avoid the topics...parenting happens 100% of the time, so it is impossible to just avoid it. One mom has made the choice to watch every bite of food that goes into her daughter's mouth. Everything should be organic or at least without preservatives. She gets produce from local organic farms, shops at health food stores, and limits anything that might be chewy and get stuck in teeth (no cavities!). She goes to a playdate, and the mother hosting has...gasp...fruit snacks, salty pretzels from Acme, and juice boxes. What does she do? One mother doesn't believe in spanking when her child does something wrong, and the host thinks it is the only way to get through to a child.

A good mom friend just swallows hard and bends the rules for the 2 hours we're together. Then she goes home and tells her husband how the host's kids are going to be obese and get cancer and whatever else organic health food is supposed to help you avoid. She never says anything to your face, because deep down she knows that all our kids are going to grow up fine as long as we love them enough to try and make their lives better...in some aspect...even if it's not the same aspect.

A bad mom friend watches you put your child in timeout and then proceeds to tell you that you should spank, because you need to beat the evil out of your child. (yes, that actually happened to me).

So it's a struggle, but it's well worth it to find those fellow soldiers in the field of parenting. Even if you have different ideology, nobody really knows what they are doing. And it's really nice to know that you aren't the only one wandering in cluelessness.

First crush

Andrew is seriously crushing. But I have a few problems with the object of his affection. For one thing, she's older than him. Like a generation older. Another problem is this girl is dating his uncle. That could cause some family tension down the line. Can you imagine the family reunions?

Yes, Andrew has a crush on Monica, Uncle Chad's girlfriend. It was love at first sight...he has a thing for long hair. I thought the crush would die once it became long distance, but Andrew has yet to let it go.

First, there was the visit to Grandma's work in Ohio. Andrew was in a funky mood, but Grandma really needed to stop in and fax something (plus it was a great opportunity to show off her grandkids...she's always looking for excuses to do that). Anyway, Andrew was sulking while I fed Lily. Grandma said, "Do you want to go meet Monica?" Andrew's face LIT UP. More than for Santa. He was so excited that Monica was in the next room. Imagine his surprise and disappointment when he discovered that Grandma's middle-aged assistant is also named Monica. Not quite the woman he was hoping for.

Then, we were driving somewhere here in PA, and Andrew was once again talking about marriage. Keep in mind that this is more than a month since we were in Texas. He is still trying to get his head wrapped around that concept. And for the record, we don't talk about Monica. No offense to Monica, of course, but most conversations in our house are about cleaning up toys, which Matchbox car is going to win the race, and how many bites he needs to eat to get dessert. So him mentioning Monica is driven purely by him. Anyway, the conversation in the car went something like this:

Andrew- Mom, I want to marry Lily when I grow up.
Giselle- You don't have to marry Lily. You get married to make someone part of your family, and Lily already is part of your family. So you don't have to.
A- Who should I marry then?
G- You have a lot of time to decide. You can't get married until you are 18, and that's a long way away.
A- How long?
G- Well you'll be 4 this year. Then 5 next year. Then 6, then 7, and on and on until you are 18.
**long pause** (these are always dangerous. Humdingers come after long pauses)
A- I know who I'm going to marry.
G- Really? Who?
A- Monica.
G- Why do you want to marry Monica?
A- Because she talks so beautiful.

I kid you not, those were his exact words. How cute is that? I'd tell Chad to watch out except a few days later we had this conversation.

A- Mom, I'm going to marry Monica, did you know that?
G- Yes, you mentioned that.
A- I'm not going to marry her until I'm 80, though.
G- Well, I hope that works out. Monica will be about 100 when you are 80.
A- Huh?

So Monica is going to have to wait a while for a proposal from my boy. He's apparently happy with just a long distance crush for now. Just as long as she doesn't break his heart...

Home ownership

Ah, the delights of home ownership! When you make your first purchase, it is so satisfying! Finally, and investment you can enjoy! Debt larger than you can imagine, and yet it is a roof over your head, something to decorate and fill with your treasures, your own domain!

I'm over it. (are you all now singing the annoying Idol's song?)

I know that there are millions of people who would sell their right arm for the privilege of home ownership. I realize how lucky I am to have my own home. And I am very blessed. In theory.

But I'm over it.

I miss the landscaping crew that used to prune the lawns and gardens so that I could enjoy them with no work involved...no weekends wasted. I miss the excuse as to why my walls are white and bare (not allowed to paint, not allowed to put nail holes in). I really really miss the maintenance man. Light out? No need to look through your 50 light bulbs in storage only to realize you don't have the correct type on hand. AC not working? No need to swelter as you wait 3 weeks for someone to come to your house. Toilet leaking? No need to frantically read a plumbing do-it-yourself manual. I miss him. I wish home ownership came with the option of a full time handyman. We have an extra bedroom. He could live there. I'd treat him well, I swear.

-sigh- Our master shower is leaking into the first floor. We think. All we can see is a wet spot spreading on our ceiling. My live-in handyman wants to fix it himself, even though he doesn't know how. My live-in handyman thinks we can keep taking showers despite this looming issue. We can't shower in the spare bathroom because the sound of the water is like a jet-liner landing in Lily's room. Another maintenance issue that has been unresolved.

-sigh- We don't have many conflicts in our marriage, but this is one of them. Jeff comes from a family where the father fixes things. End of story. I come from a family where the father is not allowed to own a hammer, much less fix the plumbing, so we hire everything out. End of story. Our marriage is a lovely mix of these two. We don't hire anyone and nothing gets fixed. On the positive...we may have a quicker way to get from the master bedroom into the front hall soon...trap door anyone?

Crappy Mommy Moment #345

Damn. At this rate, I'm not even going to be invited to the Mom of the Year banquet.

So Andrew took a nap today. He's exhausted with all the fresh air we've been getting. There was still no lock on his door, since we took it off when Great-Grandma stayed in his room (we didn't see the need to lock her in ;) ). I told him NOT to come out until his nap time was finished, which would be when the clock said 2. He tried to sneak out right at the beginning and I had a cow.

Fast forward 2 hours later. It's 3:30 and I hear him knocking at his bedroom door to come out. Cute, since he could just come out...but he's a good boy listening to his mommy. As I walk up the steps, I notice a wet spot on the carpet. Interesting. Did I spill water?

When I opened Andrew's bedroom door, it took me a while to figure out what had happened to him, but I'll spare you that mental journey. Here's Andrew's afternoon, which is taking me right off the guest list to aforementioned banquet.

Andrew watches Mommy have a tizzy fit about him wandering out of his room during nap time. Andrew reads a few books and then climbs into bed and falls asleep. He wakes up desperately needing to go to the bathroom. The clock doesn't say "2" like mommy said, but, gee, he really has to go. So Andrew bolts out of his room and makes his way to the toilet. As he stands in front of the potty trying to pull his pants down, he pees EVERYWHERE. Through his pants, soaking the rug, EVERYWHERE. (when I found it I thought the toilet must have overflowed...but it was just his accident). Andrew hates being wet, he is embarrassed and grossed out. He starts to walk down the steps to find me to remedy this nasty situation. Halfway down the stairs (dripping urine the whole way), he realizes that the clock doesn't say "2" so Mommy will probably have another tizzy that he left his room. Add that to the fact that he has covered the bathroom and himself with pee...yikes. So out of fear of his mother's wrath, Andrew climbs the steps to his room, closes his bedroom door, and stands dripping pee and knocking the door.

Poor baby. Imagine my confusion when he says he had an accident, but the bed is dry. Poor baby. Who allowed me to become a mother anyway?

Oh...wait...

...the veil of grumpiness has lifted. It's amazing how PMS sneaks up on you when you have irregular cycles. Judging from this month, I'd say not nursing has made me jump right back into the old 29 day cycle. Wow...this is WAY TMI for my males readers. Moving on...

We had the most wonderful visit with Jeff's grandma and Aunt Bonnie this weekend. They breezed in Saturday night after the kids were in bed. How considerate. Seriously. I'm not being sarcastic. It gave me the entire day to scrub my house down to an acceptable level of grime and clutter. If there were an Olympic sport of cleaning, Jeff's grandma would be holding multiple gold medals. She would give the US a clear advantage. To her credit, she has visited us numerous times since we got married, and she's never said a thing to me about my shoddy housekeeping. Not a word or an eye roll or a cringe and gag-gulp. She's a classy lady, I tell ya! Anyhoo, despite her never indicating that my house disgusts her, I still clean a little bit harder before she visits. I even wiped down my window sills. I know, I know. I may now be eligible for intramural cleaning.

Wow, way off topic. So they got in Saturday night, and we had a nice time chatting and hearing about their travels sans children. The thing I love about small town people is they talk about distant relatives, friends, and distant relative's friends as if they are household names. Bonnie and Grandma visited Mary Jo, Barb, and Karen. I didn't figure out who these people were until about the 3rd story, when the connection was laid out for me. (probably in reaction to my blank looks). It was just assumed that I would instantly recognize the names, as in Madonna or George W. I'm not making fun of Bonnie or Grandma. It's just the way it is. I started visiting Jeff's town in 1996, and from the first visit every trip to the drug store goes something like this:

Giselle makes a purchase of...I don't know...toothpaste, at the local drug store. Cashier recognizes Jeff. Makes small talk. As we leave, I ask who that was. It's Larry! Don't know Larry? Turns out it was Jeff's 3rd grade teacher's cousin's 2nd husband who used to play football with Jeff's uncle 35 years ago in high school. You know, Larry. Duh.

Or something like that. Man, I'm all over the place. So we chit chat with them and then crash into bed. So that there are beds to be had for all, Andrew is sleeping on the Aero bed in Lily's room and Lily is sleeping in our closet. I know that sounds like you should be calling children's services, but her port-a-crib fits in our closet. Barely. And we left the door open so some fresh air would reach her. She slept great, stop worrying about her.

Sunday dawned with the kiddos up at 6:30. We had breakfast a few hours later. We don't require guests to rise with the sun like our children. Since it was GORGEOUS out, we went to Washington's Crossing park and walked around, walked across the Delaware River (on a bridge, of course), saw turtles, walked back across the Delaware, drove to lunch, came home and put Lily down for a nap. Andrew was having so much fun with Bonnie and Great-Grandma we didn't put him down for a rest.

He showed Great-Grandma his mad hockey skills while I started hacking down my thistle garden. We were trying to see how tall they would get, Jeff even had visions of making furniture out of thistle wood. Great-Grandma said she thought thistles were pretty (God bless her), but once the seeds started spreading our neighbors would probably get testy when they realized we were breeding these stubborn weeds. So I got out the chain saw and started going at it. Grandma soon joined in...because what weekend would be complete without my guests doing work at our house. Why not have the 85 year old pulling weeds? You try and stop her. My father-in-law gets it honestly. After working them to the bone, we all vegged and then had dinner. Andrew was so tired, he was having multiple melt-downs alternating with punchy hyperness. He finished his dinner and asked to go to bed. Say what? And he did...go to bed. Lily soon followed, and we had another nice evening of chatting sans children.

So a very nice day. I am LOVING this April weather in July. Perfect for entertaining guests. So please, call to set up a visit. I'm taking reservations. But pack your working pants...I'm sure I'll have chores for you to do!