Today, I took the 3 kids to the Please Touch Museum by myself. I know, I know, mothers do it all the time...take their children places by themselves. But I am a total wimp when it comes to large public places and 3 people to watch by myself. But I've started thinking into the future, when Michael is actually needing to be watched. And I think I need to take these 3 out NOW...before the world ends when I have 2 mindless walkers. Andrew is not a mindless walker, because if you ask him to walk somewhere, he actually listens. ;)
Anyhoo, it takes about 40 minutes to get to the museum, so I popped a movie into the old DVD player, prayed that Michael would take a nap in the car, and enjoyed my 40 minutes of down time. And I began composing a blog entry in my head.
I think I am too hard on Lily. Not to her, but what I say about her. On this blog. When I talk about her with other people. It is a well-known fact that I am not "fond" of two year olds in general. But here's why I shouldn't paint Lily with such a dark brush (does that even make sense? Maybe I should just stay away from the metaphors this evening...)
First of all, when Andrew was 2, he was my only. He was a little bi-polar, but I had the ability and the motivation to try and shape our days to fit his schedule. There were no other people at home to share with, no places to go that he didn't want to go to, etc etc. Lily not only has a big brother that she has to always share with, and drop off at school, and go to play dates for...she also already has a LITTLE brother who leeches her mommy's time and takes lots of naps that prevent us from going places and has to get home which prevents us from staying place. Lily faces many many more transitions each day and fields many many more confrontations each day (with people who aren't rational adults), EACH DAY, than Andrew probably did his entire 2nd year. I mean, let's be honest. For much of Andrew's 2nd year, I had my head in a toilet as my body fought to even produce Lily. :) In summary, it is not fair on any level to compare Lily and Andrew as 2 year olds. She has every right to be more ape-shit crazy.
Second of all, Lily is really a very compliant little 2 year old. She has an amazing comprehension of "taking turns". If we are at a playgroup and someone is playing with a toy she wants, I just need to tell her we're taking turns, and she'll 9 times out of 10 wait patiently for that toy. If we are somewhere fun, or she's doing something she really likes, I'll set my watch timer and tell her, "When the watch goes beep beep we have to leave." I make her repeat it back to me, and 9 times out of 10, when that watch goes off she will stop without a fuss. That is AMAZING for her age. (and not that we're comparing...but WAY better than Andrew was at this age). Of course, all bets are off if Andrew is involved...but to be fair, she has learned time and time again that Andrew doesn't obey the sharing rules. So he cursed us with that one.
Thirdly, Lily is Hilarious...with a capital H. And many times it is intentional. She is a crack up. She can twist those eyebrows and say things with a certain inflection...man, we are dying laughing. Our favorite right now is, "What?!?" As in, "Lily, we are having hot dogs for lunch." "What???" I can't write it the way she says it...because it is the expression in her voice that makes it so great. She also loves to make up songs as she goes about her day. They have a tune, but not to any song we know. It is so fun to listen to her compose away. And her pretend play seems very advanced...maybe it's just the girl in her coming out. Just as Andrew can play football with any objects, Lily can play house with any objects. She had Andrew's model Donavan McNabb making oatmeal for Eli Manning this morning.
Okay, so I'm thinking of all these wonderful things to post about Lily in today's blog. And then we went into the museum, and she was horrible. Awful. No sharing, certainly not listening to the timer, no cute or funny words, lots of screaming and hitting and flailing on the ground.
And I guess THAT is why I hate the 2's so much. They are capable of so much good behavior and so much bad behavior...often in the same 15 minute period of time. And I just hate trying to keep up with that roller coaster.
Anyhoo, it takes about 40 minutes to get to the museum, so I popped a movie into the old DVD player, prayed that Michael would take a nap in the car, and enjoyed my 40 minutes of down time. And I began composing a blog entry in my head.
I think I am too hard on Lily. Not to her, but what I say about her. On this blog. When I talk about her with other people. It is a well-known fact that I am not "fond" of two year olds in general. But here's why I shouldn't paint Lily with such a dark brush (does that even make sense? Maybe I should just stay away from the metaphors this evening...)
First of all, when Andrew was 2, he was my only. He was a little bi-polar, but I had the ability and the motivation to try and shape our days to fit his schedule. There were no other people at home to share with, no places to go that he didn't want to go to, etc etc. Lily not only has a big brother that she has to always share with, and drop off at school, and go to play dates for...she also already has a LITTLE brother who leeches her mommy's time and takes lots of naps that prevent us from going places and has to get home which prevents us from staying place. Lily faces many many more transitions each day and fields many many more confrontations each day (with people who aren't rational adults), EACH DAY, than Andrew probably did his entire 2nd year. I mean, let's be honest. For much of Andrew's 2nd year, I had my head in a toilet as my body fought to even produce Lily. :) In summary, it is not fair on any level to compare Lily and Andrew as 2 year olds. She has every right to be more ape-shit crazy.
Second of all, Lily is really a very compliant little 2 year old. She has an amazing comprehension of "taking turns". If we are at a playgroup and someone is playing with a toy she wants, I just need to tell her we're taking turns, and she'll 9 times out of 10 wait patiently for that toy. If we are somewhere fun, or she's doing something she really likes, I'll set my watch timer and tell her, "When the watch goes beep beep we have to leave." I make her repeat it back to me, and 9 times out of 10, when that watch goes off she will stop without a fuss. That is AMAZING for her age. (and not that we're comparing...but WAY better than Andrew was at this age). Of course, all bets are off if Andrew is involved...but to be fair, she has learned time and time again that Andrew doesn't obey the sharing rules. So he cursed us with that one.
Thirdly, Lily is Hilarious...with a capital H. And many times it is intentional. She is a crack up. She can twist those eyebrows and say things with a certain inflection...man, we are dying laughing. Our favorite right now is, "What?!?" As in, "Lily, we are having hot dogs for lunch." "What???" I can't write it the way she says it...because it is the expression in her voice that makes it so great. She also loves to make up songs as she goes about her day. They have a tune, but not to any song we know. It is so fun to listen to her compose away. And her pretend play seems very advanced...maybe it's just the girl in her coming out. Just as Andrew can play football with any objects, Lily can play house with any objects. She had Andrew's model Donavan McNabb making oatmeal for Eli Manning this morning.
Okay, so I'm thinking of all these wonderful things to post about Lily in today's blog. And then we went into the museum, and she was horrible. Awful. No sharing, certainly not listening to the timer, no cute or funny words, lots of screaming and hitting and flailing on the ground.
And I guess THAT is why I hate the 2's so much. They are capable of so much good behavior and so much bad behavior...often in the same 15 minute period of time. And I just hate trying to keep up with that roller coaster.
6 comments:
Yeah, 2 (and 3 imo) year olds are like Jekyll and Hyde!
The 2s are hard (and if your child is like Hannah, the 3s are hard, and the 4s are shaping up to be that way, too)! But, she's so stinkin' cute! Those pictures are adorable!!!
Yeah, I feel guilty about half the stuff I say about Colin. I love him SO much, but he exasperates me. I know he's a tough kid-- but he's not a bad kid.
Sigh. I don't want to screw him up with my telling him he's an only child for a reason. That's stopping RIGHT NOW.
Oh, someone has a case of the mommy guilt.
Just so you know, I have never thought of Lily as psycho. Just spirited.
And it could be that she is a girl and is hopefully going through her hormonal shit early. N was an utter delight at 2 but 3 made her half crazy and 4 has taken her the full way there.
She sounds great, Giselle. She needs to play with the other pea to her pod, Reina.
And don't feel bad about being tough on her...I'm sure in your uber-awareness of her middle child status you'll do everything you can to make her feel special.
Honestly Giselle, I don't think you are too hard on her. Your lover for your kids comes through when you write about all your experiences - I don't mean to sound hokey here, but you clearly adore Lily and I never had the impression that she was necessarily any more difficult than most two-year-olds. Of course she's an amazing kid- she's yours!
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