What if we'd started this in our 30's?

A few mornings ago, I commented to Jeff about how many...um...fertile signs my body has been giving me. This is the second month in a row, in fact. And how ironic...because when I desperately wanted to get pregnant with Andrew and then with Lily, there were no fertile signs anywhere. Just as a reminder, I had signs of ovulation about once a year back then...which is why it took 18 months to get pregnant with Andrew and 8 months for Lily. And those were months of charting and paying attention and trying our very hardest. Then a month before turning 30, I miraculously get pregnant with Michael (while trying to prevent it with a few forms) and now my body is obviously desperately trying for #4. Which brought me to the conclusion that maybe we should have started our family in our 30s, since it apparently would have been very easy. I could have had all spring and summer babies like I always wanted.

Which started a conversation...What if we really HAD waited until we were 30 to start our family?

This would be our only child:



Of course, he would have been in a "real" highchair with a cuter bib and he would have been quite a bit cleaner. And it would have been quiet in the background.

But we would have had 2 salaries for the past 5 years. Wow. That's a thought. And I would have had my master's. I'd been accepted at San Jose State's MLIS program and was registered to start in the fall of 2003. Perhaps with a fulfilling career, I would have opted to work full time while raising my family. We could have traveled to Europe and all around the United States. Actually, I'm sure we would have. We traveled to Hawaii in spring of 2003 and Jeff was bitten by the travel bug, so it would have been a sure thing. I probably would also have been bitten by the travel bug because I wouldn't have spent our trip to Hawaii throwing up in the hotel toilet (thank you, Andrew). I wouldn't be one of the youngest moms in the bunch. Heck, if I was working, I wouldn't have met all my current friends anyway...I'd have other friends.

It is amazing to think how our lives could have easily been so different. I am of course ignoring the fact that in my mid-twenties I was bit HARD by the mothering bug...that all-encompassing urge that makes a woman think of nothing else but Must. Become. A. Mother. And I am ignoring the fact that I felt nothing but happiness and fulfillment when becoming a mother, and I have enjoyed (almost) every minute of watching my babies become little people. And besides, if we HAD decided to wait, we wouldn't have this cute person:


And Michael almost certainly wouldn't be playing football already...

And I would be missing out on these special moments...

No, I wouldn't trade the path we have chosen. I know I still could have had 3 kids and all the moments that I've experienced up till now could have happened anyway. But it wouldn't be Andrew. And Lily. And Michael could have been...but he would be so different without his older siblings to shape his personality.

Besides, how would I ever capture exciting video like this: ?

(I swear I will someday capture my kids being cute. New Year's resolution. They seem so...boring in these things. I guess they inherited my photogenic gene...and no future performers here...)