And...Lily woke up at 2:30 puking her guts out. Which is actually easy, since she puts so little INTO her guts on a daily basis. The total volume of her stomach contents at any given time can be fit into a shot glass...so she's incapable of creating a huge mess (please don't make me eat my words...). But she's miserable, and cuddled under a blanket (it's now 5 am).
This does mean I'm going to have to cancel on my first week as a Shepherd at Sunday school. Usually, I'd just leave the sick-os behind with Jeff, but Jeff is fencing all day today. Soooo... Basically, they are never going to ask me to volunteer to do anything ever again. After watching me chase Michael around during the new member dinner and now with me cancelling due to sick babies...they should see I am pretty much worthless. Or at least unreliable. :)
I'm just waiting on eggshells to see when Andrew gets it. Or God forbid me. Blech. Although it will be a good reminder of why I don't ever want to be pregnant again.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Much whining
Okay, so I'm going to call today and make an appointment to get a root canal. I thought all was doing better, except for the whole, "I can't even chew oatmeal on the right side of my mouth without excruciating pain radiating through my upper jaw and eyeball". But I kind of was able to forget about the tooth while I wasn't eating and the constant throbbing stopped. But last night I decided to see what happened when I stopped pumping myself full of Aleve and Tylenol...and I was in a miserable half-sleep state from 2-4 am in and out of dreams about teeth being pulled and dragging my old roommate Katie B. into the bathroom to give me shots of pain killers (random), until I finally was awake enough to realize that perhaps it was time to take some more pain killers.
And Michael was kind enough to bring me out of my stupor at 3:30 by vomiting all over his sheets and hair and pjs. This was no surprise as he woke up yesterday covered in vomit and then spent the whole day clinging to my chest like an orangutan baby. Which is fun since he is 28 pounds (just 8 oz more than Andrew was at 12 months...for those keeping track), and since the other kids are JUST FINE so don't want to watch marathons of television while I rock said monkey baby.
Oh! And they have the nerve to wake up at 5:45 this morning...as if their bodies were not tired out by the day of inactivity they endured yesterday. Go figure.
Today looks to be more of the same...except it is going to be about 6 degrees outside with windchill, so there will be no sending them outside to burn off some energy. Good times.
Rest assured, I will not mess around with the pain killers today. The last thing I need is to curl up in a fetal position moaning about my jaw, while Michael whimpers in a pool of puke nearby and Andrew and Lily wrestle themselves right into the ER.
Have a good day!
And Michael was kind enough to bring me out of my stupor at 3:30 by vomiting all over his sheets and hair and pjs. This was no surprise as he woke up yesterday covered in vomit and then spent the whole day clinging to my chest like an orangutan baby. Which is fun since he is 28 pounds (just 8 oz more than Andrew was at 12 months...for those keeping track), and since the other kids are JUST FINE so don't want to watch marathons of television while I rock said monkey baby.
Oh! And they have the nerve to wake up at 5:45 this morning...as if their bodies were not tired out by the day of inactivity they endured yesterday. Go figure.
Today looks to be more of the same...except it is going to be about 6 degrees outside with windchill, so there will be no sending them outside to burn off some energy. Good times.
Rest assured, I will not mess around with the pain killers today. The last thing I need is to curl up in a fetal position moaning about my jaw, while Michael whimpers in a pool of puke nearby and Andrew and Lily wrestle themselves right into the ER.
Have a good day!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Give me some sleep...
So I called the dentist yesterday morning, and when they said that they just couldn't get my new crown any earlier than 3 weeks from last Friday (I'll be in CA then, so I'll have to wait an extra week to get my shiny new porcelain tooth), I started to cry on the phone. Which made me realize just how uncomfortable I've been the last few days. Crying. On the phone. With the reception lady. Aw-kward! She insisted I come in to get checked out. I scrambled to find childcare...and again cried on the phone with my friend. Hi! I'm 4 years old! I cry when I have an ouchie! Pass the Boo-boo bunny please!
The children were bored and restless and aggravating yesterday. Understandably. I dropped them off at my friend's house at 4:45 with apologies streaming. Went to the dentist. He took an x-ray and shook his head and poked at my mouth and shook his head and sighed a lot and looked very grim. He thinks that taking the old crown off pissed my tooth off pretty bad. And the kind of nerve pain that I'm having usually can only be fixed by...removing the nerve (a.k.a. root canal). Um, excuse me? The whole reason I let you pry my crown off was to AVOID a root canal. This tooth has caused me exactly zero problems...ever. And because there was a tiny void at the base of the old crown, we have inflamed and enraged this stupid nerve so we may have to go in and kill the tooth after all. Lovely. I left with a referral and a script for Vicoden. I am to wait until Friday if I want to see if the pain gets better. Lovely.
I ran back to my friend's house, because she had to leave for a Daisy's meeting. I drag our crying kids out of her Fun-house and back into our Not-fun-house. Jeff was waiting for us, dressed for fencing. My eyes are puffy from tiredness and crying and the kids are back doing their chase/tackle/wrestle/cry loop. Jeff asks, "So what should we have for dinner?" because he needs to leave for fencing in a half hour. He's not asking me to make it, just asking what he should make. And I told him I needed to be alone for a little bit. And I went in time-out in my room and listened to the chase/tackle/wrestle/cry loop going on downstairs, and listened to Jeff yell at them and just calmed down a bit. When I re-entered the fray a few minutes later, Jeff offered to stay home from fencing. After just 15 minutes with them. So he did. And we went to bed early.
And that was good, because Michael was up from 11:15-12:15, Lily was up from 12:30-12:45, then Mike was up again from 2:00-3:00, and Andrew jumped in bed with us at 6. I really was wishing for the Vicaden...not for pain, but for the inevitable deep sleep that even children cannot wake you from.
And now I'm so tired, I think that I'll just go ahead and ask for root canals for ALL my teeth. Because that should take at least a day, I'll be given lots of strong pain meds, and then I'll never have to worry about this again, right? Pop crowns off, tattoo them, drill them...you'd never feel a thing. Sounds lovely.
This is just THRILLING, isn't it? And just for perspective...it's a friggin' tooth ache. And yesterday they pulled a man out of the Haiti rubble, alive after 14 days...IN THE RUBBLE. Seriously. I need to get a grip.
The children were bored and restless and aggravating yesterday. Understandably. I dropped them off at my friend's house at 4:45 with apologies streaming. Went to the dentist. He took an x-ray and shook his head and poked at my mouth and shook his head and sighed a lot and looked very grim. He thinks that taking the old crown off pissed my tooth off pretty bad. And the kind of nerve pain that I'm having usually can only be fixed by...removing the nerve (a.k.a. root canal). Um, excuse me? The whole reason I let you pry my crown off was to AVOID a root canal. This tooth has caused me exactly zero problems...ever. And because there was a tiny void at the base of the old crown, we have inflamed and enraged this stupid nerve so we may have to go in and kill the tooth after all. Lovely. I left with a referral and a script for Vicoden. I am to wait until Friday if I want to see if the pain gets better. Lovely.
I ran back to my friend's house, because she had to leave for a Daisy's meeting. I drag our crying kids out of her Fun-house and back into our Not-fun-house. Jeff was waiting for us, dressed for fencing. My eyes are puffy from tiredness and crying and the kids are back doing their chase/tackle/wrestle/cry loop. Jeff asks, "So what should we have for dinner?" because he needs to leave for fencing in a half hour. He's not asking me to make it, just asking what he should make. And I told him I needed to be alone for a little bit. And I went in time-out in my room and listened to the chase/tackle/wrestle/cry loop going on downstairs, and listened to Jeff yell at them and just calmed down a bit. When I re-entered the fray a few minutes later, Jeff offered to stay home from fencing. After just 15 minutes with them. So he did. And we went to bed early.
And that was good, because Michael was up from 11:15-12:15, Lily was up from 12:30-12:45, then Mike was up again from 2:00-3:00, and Andrew jumped in bed with us at 6. I really was wishing for the Vicaden...not for pain, but for the inevitable deep sleep that even children cannot wake you from.
And now I'm so tired, I think that I'll just go ahead and ask for root canals for ALL my teeth. Because that should take at least a day, I'll be given lots of strong pain meds, and then I'll never have to worry about this again, right? Pop crowns off, tattoo them, drill them...you'd never feel a thing. Sounds lovely.
This is just THRILLING, isn't it? And just for perspective...it's a friggin' tooth ache. And yesterday they pulled a man out of the Haiti rubble, alive after 14 days...IN THE RUBBLE. Seriously. I need to get a grip.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
My aching tooth
I have much that I could post about.
Our dinner at a rather obscure family's house. Jeff worked with this man in California for about 6 months...Jim was transferred just after we moved there. Jeff ran into him on the train...turns out he lives 5 minutes from us. So we were invited to dinner. It was...a disaster. But they were very very nice and calm people. But Michael was a disaster. They don't have small children. Michael was into EVERYTHING and screamed like a banshee when we pulled him off of their fragile stuff. Oh, and they had a rescued dog who apparently FREAKS OUT when children cry. Disaster.
And Sunday we had a dinner at church for new members. A.K.A: Recruitment to committee dinner. But it was surprisingly pleasant and fun to get to know other people. I once again was reminded why I love this pastor and parish. Very nice people. The kids had a blast. Andrew buddied around with his new best friend...a fellow Kindergarten boy that is Andrew's equal in smarts and silliness. Lovely. Michael was a disaster...but he was in a good mood, so he didn't scream when I pulled him away from stuff. Bonus.
The problem has been that on Friday afternoon I had some dental work done. I was just having a crown replaced...no biggie. I don't remember it being a big deal when I originally GOT this crown, so I asked a friend to come stay with the children while I went to the one hour appointment. That night when the numbing agent wore off, I realized that he had not adjusted for my bite properly, because every time I closed my mouth there was a shooting nerve pain through the tooth. Luckily, the dentist was just leaving when I called, and stayed to fix it. So I drag the kids away from their dinner and throw them in the car and run to the dentist's office. They played, unsupervised, while he ground down the temporary so I wouldn't be aggravating the nerve all weekend. Unfortunately, I think it was too little too late. All weekend I ate gingerly and it still was painful. And all those dinners to go to!
It is now Tuesday morning and I STILL cannot eat on that side. My TMJ is acting up from constantly eating on one side of my mouth. The tooth THROBS constantly. And I have 3 1/2 weeks until my appointment to get rid of the temp and put on my brand new shiny crown. Ha ha ha...fun times. I will be calling this morning and begging to move my appointment up. I cannot go to California like this. How will I enjoy my In-and-Out burger?
-sigh- Now to another day of pretending I'm not in pain while entertaining my 3 young barbarians. Joy.
Our dinner at a rather obscure family's house. Jeff worked with this man in California for about 6 months...Jim was transferred just after we moved there. Jeff ran into him on the train...turns out he lives 5 minutes from us. So we were invited to dinner. It was...a disaster. But they were very very nice and calm people. But Michael was a disaster. They don't have small children. Michael was into EVERYTHING and screamed like a banshee when we pulled him off of their fragile stuff. Oh, and they had a rescued dog who apparently FREAKS OUT when children cry. Disaster.
And Sunday we had a dinner at church for new members. A.K.A: Recruitment to committee dinner. But it was surprisingly pleasant and fun to get to know other people. I once again was reminded why I love this pastor and parish. Very nice people. The kids had a blast. Andrew buddied around with his new best friend...a fellow Kindergarten boy that is Andrew's equal in smarts and silliness. Lovely. Michael was a disaster...but he was in a good mood, so he didn't scream when I pulled him away from stuff. Bonus.
The problem has been that on Friday afternoon I had some dental work done. I was just having a crown replaced...no biggie. I don't remember it being a big deal when I originally GOT this crown, so I asked a friend to come stay with the children while I went to the one hour appointment. That night when the numbing agent wore off, I realized that he had not adjusted for my bite properly, because every time I closed my mouth there was a shooting nerve pain through the tooth. Luckily, the dentist was just leaving when I called, and stayed to fix it. So I drag the kids away from their dinner and throw them in the car and run to the dentist's office. They played, unsupervised, while he ground down the temporary so I wouldn't be aggravating the nerve all weekend. Unfortunately, I think it was too little too late. All weekend I ate gingerly and it still was painful. And all those dinners to go to!
It is now Tuesday morning and I STILL cannot eat on that side. My TMJ is acting up from constantly eating on one side of my mouth. The tooth THROBS constantly. And I have 3 1/2 weeks until my appointment to get rid of the temp and put on my brand new shiny crown. Ha ha ha...fun times. I will be calling this morning and begging to move my appointment up. I cannot go to California like this. How will I enjoy my In-and-Out burger?
-sigh- Now to another day of pretending I'm not in pain while entertaining my 3 young barbarians. Joy.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Dinnertime...what's working
I've been meaning to write about this for a while, but I keep waiting for the shoe to drop. Most great ideas that I get as a mother fall by the wayside as I lose interest. I swear I have the attention span of a fruit fly. Like, have you noticed there haven't been any craft pictures in a few months. Yea, that's because there have been no real crafts to speak of. You can take away my gold star now.
I've mentioned many times how Lily doesn't eat. There are very few foods that she consistently enjoys, and she just doesn't seem to need very many calories a day. I do not stress over her lack of eating. She is my healthiest child to date and seems to be growing and developing just fine. In order to not stress, I've always just stuck to a few hard and fast rules: 1) She must eat something healthy before getting a cup of milk 2) She can only have peanut butter as the main ingredient once a day 3) Snacks must have some hidden redeeming quality...for the most part.
Okay, but dinner has always been a time of stress and screaming and ridiculous disrespect to my cooking skills. For a long time, we've tried to stick to the policy that the children must try one bite of the dinner I fix. If they eat a bite, then they can have a peanut butter sandwich instead. If it is leftover night, then I will fix them a separate meal of nuggets, Spaghettios, etc. Leftover night was always the favorite around here. Lily often would choose to not eat rather than try one bite. She would run around and play and hassle us and get Andrew up out of his chair, because she wasn't eating. Most of the time, I'd just serve them first, and by the time Jeff and I got our plates, they'd already rejected the food and were up and playing. And by "playing" I mean running laps around our first floor screaming and tackling and fighting. Very peaceful dinnertime. Jeff and I would wolf down our food, taking turns getting up and fixing the kids issues.
So before the holidays, I decided we needed to civilize these children. We were looking at many many family dinners ahead of us, and it was important to me that our kids know how to sit still and enjoy other's company at meal time. So one night, I told Lily that she could either sit with us at the table or go to time out on the step. Eating was not a requirement, but sitting at the table and talking with us was. She screamed on the step. The next night...same options. She screamed on the step. The third night...she started out screaming on the step, but then came in and asked to sit with us. She requested a story be told as we sat there together.
And a new tradition has been born. We all happily sit down to eat together and Lily barks orders at us to tell her stories through the meal. Sometimes we manage to talk about our days...but let's be honest. Our days aren't real exciting. The truly amazing thing is? Jeff thought of the brilliant idea of making Lily take a bite of food to get us to tell a story. She has eaten Chicken tetraziini, a bowl of corn, Italian sausage, beans, and one night an entire piece of lasagna (we had friends over that night...the stories were worth it). It is amazing and shocking and so pleasant. We all enjoy dinnertime so much more, and it is something the kids look forward to...and we do to. And Lily has actually been TRYING NEW FOODS. Amazing. And they both ask to be excused when they are finished. It's like they're almost civilized for a few minutes a day.
In case you are picturing us reciting the Grimm brothers fairy tales or waxing famous poems at the table, here is a sample story at our nightly dinners:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess Lily. She loved colorful things, so she collected flowers and butterflies. One day she decided to go live in a rainbow so she could always be around colors. The End.
And that suffices for a story. Then it's Jeff's turn and Lily has to take another bite. And then Andrew's turn and she has to take another bite. And then it's Lily's turn and she makes US take a bite. And it's been working for over a month now. Phew. Now if I can just get them to stop pooping together, they might be ready for public exposure...
I've mentioned many times how Lily doesn't eat. There are very few foods that she consistently enjoys, and she just doesn't seem to need very many calories a day. I do not stress over her lack of eating. She is my healthiest child to date and seems to be growing and developing just fine. In order to not stress, I've always just stuck to a few hard and fast rules: 1) She must eat something healthy before getting a cup of milk 2) She can only have peanut butter as the main ingredient once a day 3) Snacks must have some hidden redeeming quality...for the most part.
Okay, but dinner has always been a time of stress and screaming and ridiculous disrespect to my cooking skills. For a long time, we've tried to stick to the policy that the children must try one bite of the dinner I fix. If they eat a bite, then they can have a peanut butter sandwich instead. If it is leftover night, then I will fix them a separate meal of nuggets, Spaghettios, etc. Leftover night was always the favorite around here. Lily often would choose to not eat rather than try one bite. She would run around and play and hassle us and get Andrew up out of his chair, because she wasn't eating. Most of the time, I'd just serve them first, and by the time Jeff and I got our plates, they'd already rejected the food and were up and playing. And by "playing" I mean running laps around our first floor screaming and tackling and fighting. Very peaceful dinnertime. Jeff and I would wolf down our food, taking turns getting up and fixing the kids issues.
So before the holidays, I decided we needed to civilize these children. We were looking at many many family dinners ahead of us, and it was important to me that our kids know how to sit still and enjoy other's company at meal time. So one night, I told Lily that she could either sit with us at the table or go to time out on the step. Eating was not a requirement, but sitting at the table and talking with us was. She screamed on the step. The next night...same options. She screamed on the step. The third night...she started out screaming on the step, but then came in and asked to sit with us. She requested a story be told as we sat there together.
And a new tradition has been born. We all happily sit down to eat together and Lily barks orders at us to tell her stories through the meal. Sometimes we manage to talk about our days...but let's be honest. Our days aren't real exciting. The truly amazing thing is? Jeff thought of the brilliant idea of making Lily take a bite of food to get us to tell a story. She has eaten Chicken tetraziini, a bowl of corn, Italian sausage, beans, and one night an entire piece of lasagna (we had friends over that night...the stories were worth it). It is amazing and shocking and so pleasant. We all enjoy dinnertime so much more, and it is something the kids look forward to...and we do to. And Lily has actually been TRYING NEW FOODS. Amazing. And they both ask to be excused when they are finished. It's like they're almost civilized for a few minutes a day.
In case you are picturing us reciting the Grimm brothers fairy tales or waxing famous poems at the table, here is a sample story at our nightly dinners:
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess Lily. She loved colorful things, so she collected flowers and butterflies. One day she decided to go live in a rainbow so she could always be around colors. The End.
And that suffices for a story. Then it's Jeff's turn and Lily has to take another bite. And then Andrew's turn and she has to take another bite. And then it's Lily's turn and she makes US take a bite. And it's been working for over a month now. Phew. Now if I can just get them to stop pooping together, they might be ready for public exposure...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Sign of the end of the world
I am in a cleaning mood today. It doesn't happen very often, but I usually try to just take advantage of my motivation while it's there...since I know it won't likely come back for a few months. I've moved furniture to sweep behind, cleaned all the rooms downstairs, and 2 out of 4 bedrooms upstairs, vacuumed the steps, beat the rugs in the front hall, gone through some donated clothes, and even tackled the basement.
As I paused from washing the window sills (I KNOW...), Lily asks, "Mommy, who's coming over?"
Further proof that I only really clean when there's going to be company. :)
As I paused from washing the window sills (I KNOW...), Lily asks, "Mommy, who's coming over?"
Further proof that I only really clean when there's going to be company. :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
2 things
Thing #1: Michael is really stinkin' cute right now. Video-worthy levels of cuteness. But EVERY video of him starts with him about to dance/talk/be silly, then you either see a close-up of Andrew's nose hairs or hear him chant, "Cam-er-a...do do dooo" right into the microphone, and then you hear me yell, "Can't I take ONE SINGLE VIDEO WITHOUT YOU..." And then it cuts off. Every. Single. Time.
-sigh-
Thing #2: I was sitting on the floor playing Guess Who with Andrew last night after the littles went to bed. Andrew pointed out 2 holes in my jeans. The crotch of my jeans. Big. Gaping. Holes. On either side of the center seam. Perfectly disguised by folds when I pull my pants down and up. And now...all day...I'm am fretting about how long those BIG HOLES have been showing my nether parts to the world. And it isn't...ahem...well groomed, shall we say...since it is WINTER and all. Just picturing myself bending over to shelve books at the library on Saturday and scaring the Be-Jezus out of the poor patrons. Big Holes, people. Big enough to fit...I don't know...a Quarter through.
-shudder-
-sigh-
Thing #2: I was sitting on the floor playing Guess Who with Andrew last night after the littles went to bed. Andrew pointed out 2 holes in my jeans. The crotch of my jeans. Big. Gaping. Holes. On either side of the center seam. Perfectly disguised by folds when I pull my pants down and up. And now...all day...I'm am fretting about how long those BIG HOLES have been showing my nether parts to the world. And it isn't...ahem...well groomed, shall we say...since it is WINTER and all. Just picturing myself bending over to shelve books at the library on Saturday and scaring the Be-Jezus out of the poor patrons. Big Holes, people. Big enough to fit...I don't know...a Quarter through.
-shudder-
Saints Among Us
I was raised Roman Catholic and loved the church I attended while growing up. When I went to a Catholic college, I was instantly made aware that my home church was very atypical of a Catholic church. I found that everywhere I moved throughout the country, I felt very un-Catholic. I felt out of place, even though I was supposed to know what was going on. Jeff was very very supportive of us belonging to a Catholic church and even raising our children in the faith. But I found that I felt like an outsider. Not to mention that Catholic churches in the places we have lived are so HUGE, it is hard to find a place to get comfortable.
So we have joined a small United Methodist church in town. And I have always loved the UMC...they are very inclusive and non-judgmental and service oriented and just down-right easy to get along with. And for the most part, I don't feel too different (except when I keep calling the service "Mass" and I fight the urge to do the sign of the cross and I'm never quite sure WHAT to call the pastor/Reverend). Oh! And I really miss the importance of Mary...I always felt very connected to praying to her.
But I do occasionally come across something that I miss about my childhood religion. A few nights ago, Andrew and I were reading his children's Bible. Andrew ADORES this book and will drop everything to read it. Andrew is actually the reason we've joined a church...ever since he started at a Christian pre-school, he has been fascinated by the Word of God. He eats it up...preferring the story of baby Jesus to Santa Claus, etc. And it has nothing to do with his upbringing, let me tell you. Jeff and I are NOT avid Bible readers, we've never prayed at the dinner table, etc. But Andrew just has this connection...
Anyhoo, we were reading about Jesus's first miracle. And I asked Andrew what a miracle is. He answered, "Something that God can do that people cannot." And I wanted to correct him that a miracle is something that God can MAKE happen...sometimes through regular everyday people. Like saints. Oops. Wait. No saints in the UMC. But I told Andrew about Saints anyway, because I always liked that about the Catholic church. I liked feeling that God can do wondrous miracles through regular people...not just in stories from long long ago about the clouds parting and a booming voice making revelations.
So, basically, Andrew may grow up very confused. But somehow I can't help introducing these parts of religion to him. I think someday I will take him to a Catholic Mass and show him what it's like. In the meantime, I appreciate his interest and spirituality, and hope it continues to foster and grow in him. I've always envied people with strong faith...
So we have joined a small United Methodist church in town. And I have always loved the UMC...they are very inclusive and non-judgmental and service oriented and just down-right easy to get along with. And for the most part, I don't feel too different (except when I keep calling the service "Mass" and I fight the urge to do the sign of the cross and I'm never quite sure WHAT to call the pastor/Reverend). Oh! And I really miss the importance of Mary...I always felt very connected to praying to her.
But I do occasionally come across something that I miss about my childhood religion. A few nights ago, Andrew and I were reading his children's Bible. Andrew ADORES this book and will drop everything to read it. Andrew is actually the reason we've joined a church...ever since he started at a Christian pre-school, he has been fascinated by the Word of God. He eats it up...preferring the story of baby Jesus to Santa Claus, etc. And it has nothing to do with his upbringing, let me tell you. Jeff and I are NOT avid Bible readers, we've never prayed at the dinner table, etc. But Andrew just has this connection...
Anyhoo, we were reading about Jesus's first miracle. And I asked Andrew what a miracle is. He answered, "Something that God can do that people cannot." And I wanted to correct him that a miracle is something that God can MAKE happen...sometimes through regular everyday people. Like saints. Oops. Wait. No saints in the UMC. But I told Andrew about Saints anyway, because I always liked that about the Catholic church. I liked feeling that God can do wondrous miracles through regular people...not just in stories from long long ago about the clouds parting and a booming voice making revelations.
So, basically, Andrew may grow up very confused. But somehow I can't help introducing these parts of religion to him. I think someday I will take him to a Catholic Mass and show him what it's like. In the meantime, I appreciate his interest and spirituality, and hope it continues to foster and grow in him. I've always envied people with strong faith...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Comparisons
When Andrew was born, I actually read parenting books. Not frequently, and not very many, but I had a book that told you what milestones your child should/could be making. All the way up until 3 years old. So every month, I would pull down this gigantic book and I'd exclaim how far ahead he was verbally and I'd despair at how behind he was physically. And then I'd put it back up on the shelf until the next month. I had a book on potty training and disciplining. I had a book of cute stories about preschoolers. I had several books about how to entertain a toddler.
Then Lily came along. Every 3 months or so, I would dust off that big book of milestones and check up on her. But I found myself constantly pulling out Andrew's baby book to compare her to him. But after a few months, it became quite evident that she was on a completely different path of growing up. And she still is. I still playfully compare them (like by this age, Andrew could point out 10 states on a US map, and Lily...um...Lily likes to use maps as her pretend computer...even though we have several actual kid computers...whatever). But even as I compare them, I enjoy the differences. Sure, Lily may not understand the playing positions of professional football. But, then again, Lily doesn't understand the playing positions of pro football. See? Positives and negatives. ;)
Michael...poor Michael. I actually donated those big books of milestones when he turned 15 months...because I had never even once looked in them. And why bother looking in the old baby books...this child is totally different than the first two. I *thought* Lily and Andrew were totally different, but in actuality, they are both very verbal and not very physical. Michael...is Michael.
So I KNOW he's not as verbal. And yet, when I went looking for blog clips from Andrew at 21 months and Lily at 21 months, I was shocked...SHOCKED at how much both of them were talking at this age. I almost wet my pants on Sunday when a child stole a toy from Mike, and he pointed at her and sadly said, "Share." So exciting...he has a new word every day, and is really taking off. But, Lord Almighty...Lily said, "Go for walk with Paw-paw?" at this same age. And Lily was way behind Andrew at that age...Andrew was cracking jokes at this age (we have it on video...of course...first child).
Thank heavens he's my 3rd, because if Lily had been this far behind Andrew, I probably would have freaked out and had her in intensive speech therapy. Okay, so it's me we're talking about, I would have maybe talked to someone about it. But with Mike...I'm happy he's trying to talk...I'm happy that he is making progress with his speech. And I watch him open the pantry for his older sister...because she still hasn't figured it out...and I know my little caveman is going to be JUST FINE.
(but...dear Lord...the frustration of this child. Not being able to speak really puts a damper on my poor boy. He just CAN'T let us know what he wants...)
Then Lily came along. Every 3 months or so, I would dust off that big book of milestones and check up on her. But I found myself constantly pulling out Andrew's baby book to compare her to him. But after a few months, it became quite evident that she was on a completely different path of growing up. And she still is. I still playfully compare them (like by this age, Andrew could point out 10 states on a US map, and Lily...um...Lily likes to use maps as her pretend computer...even though we have several actual kid computers...whatever). But even as I compare them, I enjoy the differences. Sure, Lily may not understand the playing positions of professional football. But, then again, Lily doesn't understand the playing positions of pro football. See? Positives and negatives. ;)
Michael...poor Michael. I actually donated those big books of milestones when he turned 15 months...because I had never even once looked in them. And why bother looking in the old baby books...this child is totally different than the first two. I *thought* Lily and Andrew were totally different, but in actuality, they are both very verbal and not very physical. Michael...is Michael.
So I KNOW he's not as verbal. And yet, when I went looking for blog clips from Andrew at 21 months and Lily at 21 months, I was shocked...SHOCKED at how much both of them were talking at this age. I almost wet my pants on Sunday when a child stole a toy from Mike, and he pointed at her and sadly said, "Share." So exciting...he has a new word every day, and is really taking off. But, Lord Almighty...Lily said, "Go for walk with Paw-paw?" at this same age. And Lily was way behind Andrew at that age...Andrew was cracking jokes at this age (we have it on video...of course...first child).
Thank heavens he's my 3rd, because if Lily had been this far behind Andrew, I probably would have freaked out and had her in intensive speech therapy. Okay, so it's me we're talking about, I would have maybe talked to someone about it. But with Mike...I'm happy he's trying to talk...I'm happy that he is making progress with his speech. And I watch him open the pantry for his older sister...because she still hasn't figured it out...and I know my little caveman is going to be JUST FINE.
(but...dear Lord...the frustration of this child. Not being able to speak really puts a damper on my poor boy. He just CAN'T let us know what he wants...)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
House of mirrors
Thank you for all the supportive comments on the last post. I am NOT feeling guilty anymore. I am excited to help, and realize that maybe someday I will be on the begging end of a phone call like that. I really hope I don't pull the "big guns" out and start the whole working mother/SAHM mother discussion...but whatever. This is one of the downsides to joining a small congregation. End of discussion. ;)
This week has been leaps and bounds better than last. Let me first acknowledge that Michael has been sleeping through the night and taking naps that last at least an hour. A well rested Giselle is certain to have a better week. So that might be it. But I also resolved to not yell or get hysterical. This involved sitting Andrew down on Monday morning and having a discussion with him...I told him that I was not going to yell this week. I was going to count. And if I say his name and count to 3, then he knows to remove himself to another room and count to 10 before coming back in. And if I get up to 5, then he is to have alone time/play in his room for 30 minutes. We agreed and reviewed. Then Lily woke up, and I sat her down and explained that Mommy was not going to yell this week, she was going to count. And if I count to 3, Lily goes to the step for time-out. And if she continues her bad behavior, then she would spend some alone time in her room playing. We agreed and reviewed. Then Mike woke up, and I sat him down and took a crayon out of his nose and I pleaded with him that he please not dive off of furniture or eat dog food or just generally cause chaos. He laughed and climbed up on the fireplace mantle as we reviewed. Fail.
My goals were: 1) Don't get emotionally involved. 2) Separate the children before it gets to maddening levels.
I also made an effort to engage with the kids more. Winter is boring for everyone...I need to be the grownup and show them how to invent things to do that don't involve wrestling.
So what have we DONE this week? Andrew expressed a desire to bake something. I abhor baking. But I got out a battered kids cookbook that my MIL gave me a while back. Andrew decided that he absolutely MUST make animal crackers. It has taken us all week to gather the ingredients (I had a terrible time finding buttermilk...and NO, it would not be helpful for you to point out that obviously I could substitute something in everyone's kitchen like yogurt or sour cream or vanilla abstract because that is such common knowledge.)
I created an obstacle course one morning, using placemats and dishes from the play kitchen and Michael's new basketball hoop and kitchen chairs and such. Andrew was required to run through it 3 times before he could join his imaginary football team (we were playing neighbor...shocker). Then he had fun creating an obstacle course for me. Lily and Michael did pretty well not tearing our courses apart...Michael had a little too much fun with the climbing over the chairs part. ;)
The kids played nicely together. While I was cleaning up or prepping food or whatever, Andrew and Lily played dogs for about an HOUR. And there has been lots of parallel play as well.
Monday and Tuesday I had to count quite a bit. Andrew would start in on Lily and she would scream. So rather than ask 100 times until frustration brewed, I would call out Andrew's name and start counting really slowly. A few times this week he has had to step out. Only once has he had to go to his room for 30 minutes...which ended up being WAY too long, so he was released after 15. But then he was having so much fun by himself up in his room, he stayed there for 45 minutes.
We've played with Michael's new blocks. I started building "-inators" with the blocks (inventions by the bad guy in Phineas and Ferb). Then someone would knock them over and I would yell, "Curse you, Andrew the Anteater!" Which was so hilariously funny, that now the kids are delighting in having their tower knocked over instead of screaming and raging at each other. We've colored...a lot. We've read some books. We've taken bubble baths and watched a lot of tv. We've had dance parties...I decided to play every CD we own once...and the kids rate if they like them or not. We've watched a lot of tv...it is winter after all. But we've been happy. Enjoying the day.
And all that changed around here was me. And Michael sleeping...that changed too. The kids haven't been perfect...they still tease and torment each other. Michael has actually been a bit of a bear this week, tantruming over crazy 2 year old shit and just generally being unpredictable and an emotional basket case. But me changing my attitude made it a good week for everyone.
I just occasionally need to remind myself that this house reflects me. If I am silly and happy and fun, then often others will follow me. If I am grumpy and unhappy and annoyed, then the others will often bounce that right back to me. Which is why it is so dangerous and unhealthy for me to fall into those moods...those self-pitying, discontented, frustrated moods. Because like a house of mirrors, those imperfections are multiplied 3 times around. It's just so EASY to give into it.
So now I just have to figure out how to keep up this energy level. Michael? Are you listening? Let's keep this sleep thing going, shall we?
This week has been leaps and bounds better than last. Let me first acknowledge that Michael has been sleeping through the night and taking naps that last at least an hour. A well rested Giselle is certain to have a better week. So that might be it. But I also resolved to not yell or get hysterical. This involved sitting Andrew down on Monday morning and having a discussion with him...I told him that I was not going to yell this week. I was going to count. And if I say his name and count to 3, then he knows to remove himself to another room and count to 10 before coming back in. And if I get up to 5, then he is to have alone time/play in his room for 30 minutes. We agreed and reviewed. Then Lily woke up, and I sat her down and explained that Mommy was not going to yell this week, she was going to count. And if I count to 3, Lily goes to the step for time-out. And if she continues her bad behavior, then she would spend some alone time in her room playing. We agreed and reviewed. Then Mike woke up, and I sat him down and took a crayon out of his nose and I pleaded with him that he please not dive off of furniture or eat dog food or just generally cause chaos. He laughed and climbed up on the fireplace mantle as we reviewed. Fail.
My goals were: 1) Don't get emotionally involved. 2) Separate the children before it gets to maddening levels.
I also made an effort to engage with the kids more. Winter is boring for everyone...I need to be the grownup and show them how to invent things to do that don't involve wrestling.
So what have we DONE this week? Andrew expressed a desire to bake something. I abhor baking. But I got out a battered kids cookbook that my MIL gave me a while back. Andrew decided that he absolutely MUST make animal crackers. It has taken us all week to gather the ingredients (I had a terrible time finding buttermilk...and NO, it would not be helpful for you to point out that obviously I could substitute something in everyone's kitchen like yogurt or sour cream or vanilla abstract because that is such common knowledge.)
I created an obstacle course one morning, using placemats and dishes from the play kitchen and Michael's new basketball hoop and kitchen chairs and such. Andrew was required to run through it 3 times before he could join his imaginary football team (we were playing neighbor...shocker). Then he had fun creating an obstacle course for me. Lily and Michael did pretty well not tearing our courses apart...Michael had a little too much fun with the climbing over the chairs part. ;)
The kids played nicely together. While I was cleaning up or prepping food or whatever, Andrew and Lily played dogs for about an HOUR. And there has been lots of parallel play as well.
Monday and Tuesday I had to count quite a bit. Andrew would start in on Lily and she would scream. So rather than ask 100 times until frustration brewed, I would call out Andrew's name and start counting really slowly. A few times this week he has had to step out. Only once has he had to go to his room for 30 minutes...which ended up being WAY too long, so he was released after 15. But then he was having so much fun by himself up in his room, he stayed there for 45 minutes.
We've played with Michael's new blocks. I started building "-inators" with the blocks (inventions by the bad guy in Phineas and Ferb). Then someone would knock them over and I would yell, "Curse you, Andrew the Anteater!" Which was so hilariously funny, that now the kids are delighting in having their tower knocked over instead of screaming and raging at each other. We've colored...a lot. We've read some books. We've taken bubble baths and watched a lot of tv. We've had dance parties...I decided to play every CD we own once...and the kids rate if they like them or not. We've watched a lot of tv...it is winter after all. But we've been happy. Enjoying the day.
And all that changed around here was me. And Michael sleeping...that changed too. The kids haven't been perfect...they still tease and torment each other. Michael has actually been a bit of a bear this week, tantruming over crazy 2 year old shit and just generally being unpredictable and an emotional basket case. But me changing my attitude made it a good week for everyone.
I just occasionally need to remind myself that this house reflects me. If I am silly and happy and fun, then often others will follow me. If I am grumpy and unhappy and annoyed, then the others will often bounce that right back to me. Which is why it is so dangerous and unhealthy for me to fall into those moods...those self-pitying, discontented, frustrated moods. Because like a house of mirrors, those imperfections are multiplied 3 times around. It's just so EASY to give into it.
So now I just have to figure out how to keep up this energy level. Michael? Are you listening? Let's keep this sleep thing going, shall we?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The downside of church
I really enjoy our new church. The people are very friendly, there are lots of kids, and Andrew adores Sunday school. Michael and Lily have adjusted to going to the nursery, so Jeff and I get an hour to sit quietly side by side and hold hands each week. Lovely.
But there are inevitable downsides. Like, churches are DESPERATE to get you to help with their activities. And I really really want to. But one week after we went for the first time...this was in September...one WEEK...I got a call asking if I would help in Sunday school for the month of October. I deferred until February, because at that time Michael and Lily were FRANTIC in the nursery...so I was helping in there. But, seriously? Ask a Catholic to teach Methodist Sunday school after one week? Those kids are going to leave doing the sign of the cross, calling the service a Mass, and preaching the grace of Holy Mother Mary. Just watch me...I'll do it ;)
But last night took the cake. I got a call from a woman who I'd already spoken to a few months ago. She had asked me in December to run the nursery during an Advent activity day. I said yes, dragged the kids there, only to find they didn't need me. Which was cool...Andrew did an Advent activity and I chased Michael around and it was fine. Last night she called and hemmed and hawed about how "Your name came up at the committee meetings last night." and "Do you have good organizational skills." and "You'd only have to send e-mails and drum up enthusiasm and maybe choose the theme and curriculum and organize volunteers." I interrupted and asked her to clarify what she was asking me.
She was calling to ask if I would be the leader of Vacation Bible School. The LEADER. Me. The person who has been a member of the church for about 6 weeks. Who has never stepped foot into a VBS before. Who only recognizes about 3 people by name in the church. She kindly told me that I would only have to send e-mails to John So-and-so...because he runs the website, and I would get lots of help from Kris So-and-so and Sara So-and-so....people I *think* I have met once or twice.
Politely as I could, I turned her down. I tried to explain that I'd never even been in the basement of the church...do they have classrooms down there or something? I tried to let her know that I'd never sent my children to a VBS or attended a VBS myself...so I was uncomfortable choosing a curriculum and planning events. I told her to please put my name down to volunteer for one aspect of the VBS...arts and crafts or drama or as a teacher or whatever. I would like to be involved and get to know people and take an active part in the church. I'm just not ready to be in charge yet.
She said of course she understood. And then the conversation took a strange and ugly turn. She talked for about 15 minutes about how the other mothers have jobs and are PTA presidents and Scout leaders and it is really hard to find the time to do this but they do it. And how she worked in the "corporate" world even right after her kids were born, and she decided to take a break when her kids were in middle school, so she just threw herself into church and transformed the Sunday school program to keep herself busy. And how they really needed people with fresh enthusiasm like me to take the torch and help the church.
And then the conversation was over, and I hung up feeling ashamed and guilty that I hadn't said yes. And I felt angry and insulted that she would judge me for being a stay-at-home mother and not do a million other things. And I felt just generally incredulous that I should feel any of these things for turning down a post that I am clearly unqualified for at a place I have been attending for less than 4 months. That even though I WANT to get involved and I WANT this to be a place to enrich my family and I LOOK FORWARD to becoming a part of their community...I already feel like I've let them down. And this woman made me feel that way. And I understand she is probably burdened by her post, and burnt out from years of volunteering, and eager to get younger more enthusiastic women involved. I understand, but don't think she handled it well.
Ah, the downsides of organized religion.
But there are inevitable downsides. Like, churches are DESPERATE to get you to help with their activities. And I really really want to. But one week after we went for the first time...this was in September...one WEEK...I got a call asking if I would help in Sunday school for the month of October. I deferred until February, because at that time Michael and Lily were FRANTIC in the nursery...so I was helping in there. But, seriously? Ask a Catholic to teach Methodist Sunday school after one week? Those kids are going to leave doing the sign of the cross, calling the service a Mass, and preaching the grace of Holy Mother Mary. Just watch me...I'll do it ;)
But last night took the cake. I got a call from a woman who I'd already spoken to a few months ago. She had asked me in December to run the nursery during an Advent activity day. I said yes, dragged the kids there, only to find they didn't need me. Which was cool...Andrew did an Advent activity and I chased Michael around and it was fine. Last night she called and hemmed and hawed about how "Your name came up at the committee meetings last night." and "Do you have good organizational skills." and "You'd only have to send e-mails and drum up enthusiasm and maybe choose the theme and curriculum and organize volunteers." I interrupted and asked her to clarify what she was asking me.
She was calling to ask if I would be the leader of Vacation Bible School. The LEADER. Me. The person who has been a member of the church for about 6 weeks. Who has never stepped foot into a VBS before. Who only recognizes about 3 people by name in the church. She kindly told me that I would only have to send e-mails to John So-and-so...because he runs the website, and I would get lots of help from Kris So-and-so and Sara So-and-so....people I *think* I have met once or twice.
Politely as I could, I turned her down. I tried to explain that I'd never even been in the basement of the church...do they have classrooms down there or something? I tried to let her know that I'd never sent my children to a VBS or attended a VBS myself...so I was uncomfortable choosing a curriculum and planning events. I told her to please put my name down to volunteer for one aspect of the VBS...arts and crafts or drama or as a teacher or whatever. I would like to be involved and get to know people and take an active part in the church. I'm just not ready to be in charge yet.
She said of course she understood. And then the conversation took a strange and ugly turn. She talked for about 15 minutes about how the other mothers have jobs and are PTA presidents and Scout leaders and it is really hard to find the time to do this but they do it. And how she worked in the "corporate" world even right after her kids were born, and she decided to take a break when her kids were in middle school, so she just threw herself into church and transformed the Sunday school program to keep herself busy. And how they really needed people with fresh enthusiasm like me to take the torch and help the church.
And then the conversation was over, and I hung up feeling ashamed and guilty that I hadn't said yes. And I felt angry and insulted that she would judge me for being a stay-at-home mother and not do a million other things. And I felt just generally incredulous that I should feel any of these things for turning down a post that I am clearly unqualified for at a place I have been attending for less than 4 months. That even though I WANT to get involved and I WANT this to be a place to enrich my family and I LOOK FORWARD to becoming a part of their community...I already feel like I've let them down. And this woman made me feel that way. And I understand she is probably burdened by her post, and burnt out from years of volunteering, and eager to get younger more enthusiastic women involved. I understand, but don't think she handled it well.
Ah, the downsides of organized religion.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The Simple Woman's Daybook
Okay, so I am taking this from a few blogs that I happened across. Because, really? Who wants to read yet ANOTHER post about how my children are annoying me and how I am truly a terrible mother to them. And if you DO want to read another post (I imagine because it makes YOU feel like a better mother), then just tune in tomorrow...I'm sure I'll have another :)
So here it is...The Simple Woman's Daybook. And I am certainly a simple woman...simple in dress, styling, cooking, decorating, mentality. Simple.
For today: January 12
Outside my window: Cloudy, cold morning. But I am pleased by all the little songbirds visiting my bird feeder. I especially like the titmouse that bullies away the bigger birds. Bold little sucker.
I am thinking: That I probably shouldn't be using my Sesame Street alone time so soon in the day. But all the kids are bathed...so that's something...
I am thankful for: The book 1,2,3 Magic. I refreshed myself yesterday on the basic tenants of that parenting/disciplining book and am resolved to not yell today. I even sat Andrew and Lily down first thing this morning and reviewed with them our new/old procedures. No yelling...just counting.
I am wearing: My cozy fleece sweatshirt and sweatpants that Andrew picked out for me for Christmas. It's bright green, because he knows that's my favorite color. Thoughtful kid. I have never had a more comfortable outfit...and I only wear it on days that I have nowhere to go.
I am remembering: That I have to call customer service for our brand new waffle maker today. Darned thing snapped and broke the first time we used it. Hassle.
I am going: To California in one month exactly. I'll be on a plane the 12th of next month. Hip-hip-hooray!
I am currently reading: The Help for book club. And Wolf Hall, my Christmas present from Jeff.
I am hoping: That Lily will finally start sleeping through the night again. Or napping consistently. Or decided which one will work for her. These grouchy days are really wearing on me. And Michael has slept through the night (6:30-6:30) the last 3 days. It is really irritating that I am getting up several times a night with her instead. She hasn't done this in 2 years...grrrr.
On my mind: Re-doing our kitchen. We are having a contractor over Saturday to give us a quote. He comes highly recommended from a friend of mine who just did her kitchen. I am constantly trying to decide what exactly I want. We have several different levels of re-finishing/re-modeling...I am nervous to see just how expensive each is. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will pay off when we go to sell this place.
Noticing that: Each child is playing quite nicely by themselves. I think it could be a good morning.
Pondering these words: "Don't breathe the air, let the air breathe you." I went to a yoga class last night for the first time in my life. While I liked the stretching and aide of having a teacher present, I am having a really hard time getting over the whole spiritual/voodoo/hippy aspect of it. One and a half hours of listening to quotes like the above was a bit too cheesy for me.
From the kitchen: Pork chops are out and ready to be browned. Dinner tonight is a crockpot dish...pork chops with cabbage, onions, sauerkraut, apples, brown sugar...served with mashed potatoes and cooked carrots. Yum, yum, yummy!
Around the house: It is still a wreck! And tomorrow one of my friends is coming to sit in the house while the littles nap so I can go visit Andrew's class (it's open house week at his school). But this means she will very likely need to go upstairs. Oh, horror of horrors. Will she be shocked at the lack of ANYTHING hanging on the walls. Or the fact that I still have the pictures hanging in Michael's room that I hung up way back when it was still the guest room. Or the fact that Lily's comforter is green and blue (because it is warm), when her room is lilac? I FAIL at kids' rooms.
One of my favorite things: Mint creamer for my coffee. Oh, how I miss it now that the holidays are over.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Andrew has no school on Friday, because everybody needs a 4 day weekend. We're just worn out from the one full week of school since winter break. (note sarcasm). So I'm going to take them to the aquarium before our membership expires at the end of the month. It is certain to be a disaster. I am almost certain to lose one of the children. Someone may fall into the shark petting tank. There will be tears. Frustration. And hopefully squeals of joy from my youngest to make it all worthwhile.
A picture for today: Mike as Daniel Boone.
Off to go play neighbor.
So here it is...The Simple Woman's Daybook. And I am certainly a simple woman...simple in dress, styling, cooking, decorating, mentality. Simple.
For today: January 12
Outside my window: Cloudy, cold morning. But I am pleased by all the little songbirds visiting my bird feeder. I especially like the titmouse that bullies away the bigger birds. Bold little sucker.
I am thinking: That I probably shouldn't be using my Sesame Street alone time so soon in the day. But all the kids are bathed...so that's something...
I am thankful for: The book 1,2,3 Magic. I refreshed myself yesterday on the basic tenants of that parenting/disciplining book and am resolved to not yell today. I even sat Andrew and Lily down first thing this morning and reviewed with them our new/old procedures. No yelling...just counting.
I am wearing: My cozy fleece sweatshirt and sweatpants that Andrew picked out for me for Christmas. It's bright green, because he knows that's my favorite color. Thoughtful kid. I have never had a more comfortable outfit...and I only wear it on days that I have nowhere to go.
I am remembering: That I have to call customer service for our brand new waffle maker today. Darned thing snapped and broke the first time we used it. Hassle.
I am going: To California in one month exactly. I'll be on a plane the 12th of next month. Hip-hip-hooray!
I am currently reading: The Help for book club. And Wolf Hall, my Christmas present from Jeff.
I am hoping: That Lily will finally start sleeping through the night again. Or napping consistently. Or decided which one will work for her. These grouchy days are really wearing on me. And Michael has slept through the night (6:30-6:30) the last 3 days. It is really irritating that I am getting up several times a night with her instead. She hasn't done this in 2 years...grrrr.
On my mind: Re-doing our kitchen. We are having a contractor over Saturday to give us a quote. He comes highly recommended from a friend of mine who just did her kitchen. I am constantly trying to decide what exactly I want. We have several different levels of re-finishing/re-modeling...I am nervous to see just how expensive each is. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will pay off when we go to sell this place.
Noticing that: Each child is playing quite nicely by themselves. I think it could be a good morning.
Pondering these words: "Don't breathe the air, let the air breathe you." I went to a yoga class last night for the first time in my life. While I liked the stretching and aide of having a teacher present, I am having a really hard time getting over the whole spiritual/voodoo/hippy aspect of it. One and a half hours of listening to quotes like the above was a bit too cheesy for me.
From the kitchen: Pork chops are out and ready to be browned. Dinner tonight is a crockpot dish...pork chops with cabbage, onions, sauerkraut, apples, brown sugar...served with mashed potatoes and cooked carrots. Yum, yum, yummy!
Around the house: It is still a wreck! And tomorrow one of my friends is coming to sit in the house while the littles nap so I can go visit Andrew's class (it's open house week at his school). But this means she will very likely need to go upstairs. Oh, horror of horrors. Will she be shocked at the lack of ANYTHING hanging on the walls. Or the fact that I still have the pictures hanging in Michael's room that I hung up way back when it was still the guest room. Or the fact that Lily's comforter is green and blue (because it is warm), when her room is lilac? I FAIL at kids' rooms.
One of my favorite things: Mint creamer for my coffee. Oh, how I miss it now that the holidays are over.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Andrew has no school on Friday, because everybody needs a 4 day weekend. We're just worn out from the one full week of school since winter break. (note sarcasm). So I'm going to take them to the aquarium before our membership expires at the end of the month. It is certain to be a disaster. I am almost certain to lose one of the children. Someone may fall into the shark petting tank. There will be tears. Frustration. And hopefully squeals of joy from my youngest to make it all worthwhile.
A picture for today: Mike as Daniel Boone.
Off to go play neighbor.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Here comes 2
Sometimes having a blog is the best thing ever for parenting. Because Michael is acting crazy today. Kuh-Ray-Ay-Zee. He grabs empty cups off the counter, but throws himself to the ground when I give him a drink. He grabs for a fork out of the drawer but throws himself screaming to the floor when I help him reach. He wants to eat, but he spits it out. He grabs a yogurt out of the fridge and hands it to me...then shakes in rage when I hand it back to him opened up.
Is he insane? Or is it just the approaching 2's? Unfortunately, I don't have much documentation of Lily at this age...I had a newborn, if you'll recall.
But thank heavens my blogging goes back to when Andrew was this age. I present...Michael the first version:
Andrew at 22 months
I will survive. The only difference is now I also have a Kuh-Ray-Ay-Zee 3 year old added to the mix. Imagine if you will today's scene at lunch...Andrew stealing Lily's night-night to make her scream, Lily's screaming because her night-night is facing the wrong direction (not looking at the table like her), and Michael screaming because he wants a drink, but not any of the drinks that are available.
I should have asked for earplugs for Christmas.
Is he insane? Or is it just the approaching 2's? Unfortunately, I don't have much documentation of Lily at this age...I had a newborn, if you'll recall.
But thank heavens my blogging goes back to when Andrew was this age. I present...Michael the first version:
Andrew at 22 months
I will survive. The only difference is now I also have a Kuh-Ray-Ay-Zee 3 year old added to the mix. Imagine if you will today's scene at lunch...Andrew stealing Lily's night-night to make her scream, Lily's screaming because her night-night is facing the wrong direction (not looking at the table like her), and Michael screaming because he wants a drink, but not any of the drinks that are available.
I should have asked for earplugs for Christmas.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A healing weekend
Friday ended badly. It looked up for a while...both Michael and Lily took naps. But while Michael woke up incredibly happy and adorable, Lily woke up ornery and difficult. Kind of the same as the morning...next verse, same as the first. Andrew came home from school, and I took them to Wendy's to redeem some free Frosty coupons that they got way back in October. A little "Sorry your mom is so incapable of handling the children that she chose to bring into the world" gift. Andrew happily scarfed his down and Lily complained that the spoon was too big, the ice cream was too cold, there was a mess on her pants, etc etc. Next verse, same as the first. Constant grating whining.
Got home, and Andrew made a chart that read, "Mommy Time-Out if she yells 6 times". I announced that any time he wanted me to go into a time-out, I would gladly. My crock-pot recipe was a total bust...meat didn't cook...so I quickly threw together one of my backup meals (smoked sausage, shells & cheese, mixed veggies, if you must know). We ate dinner. Then Andrew began once again throwing him sister to the ground. She was asking for it, but he just hits her SO HARD. Jeff and I each asked him no less than 5 times to go easy on her. But then he did it so incredibly hard, I was sure she'd have brain damage. So I did what any person driven to the point of insanity would do.
I had a full-blown, adult temper tantrum. Screaming (so hard my throat hurt afterwards) to Jeff about how I didn't know WHAT to do with the kids, that Andrew is so violent, he doesn't have any remorse about hurting his sister, and maybe I should have just had girls because I am worried he's going to grow up and hurt people since he obviously gets such pleasure from it. I look at Andrew...and he's SMILING at me...smirking really. Which set me off into a whole other dimension of anger. I burst into tears, pointed at him, and screamed at Jeff..."See? There's something wrong with him. He likes seeing people in pain."
Very mature. Great example. Yay me.
I scooped up Michael and maturely said, "At least I haven't ruined HIM yet," and went upstairs to get Mikey to bed. Michael healed my angered heart with his giggles and baby talk. I then went into my bedroom, where Jeff was changing for fencing. I announced that I was done being a mother for the day, and I didn't even want to SEE the children for the rest of the day. Jeff put both the other kids to bed. Lily poked her head into our room and cried that she wanted me to put her to bed. I told her I was in time-out for screaming. She readily accepted this and gave me a kiss before leaving. Andrew skulked in, and I apologized for screaming. I told him I was really frustrated and angry but I shouldn't have yelled like that. He asked if I would tuck him in...I told him that I just needed some time to cool off. That families get angry with each other, but they still love each other. That sometimes we just need to be separated from each other. I kissed him and told him to leave.
Not my best moment ever. I SHOULD have put them in their rooms before it got to that point. Separated the children into different sections of the house before it got to that point. Taken a walk with the dog before I got to that point. Locked myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes before it got to that point. Taken some Mikey-therapy BEFORE it got to that point. SHOULD HAVE. Will try to next time.
Saturday was better. I volunteered at the library for the first time. Such a soothing, productive 2 hours. Very therapeutic. We had good friends over for dinner. They were helping us eat this gigantic frozen lasagna that I never used over the holidays. We didn't clean up much for them. They tolerated our loud children. They are easy guests...it's so nice to have people over that you don't have to stress about.
Today is church in the morning. Swim lesson in the afternoon. Next week is...a week full of nothing just like last week. But I will strive to do the SHOULD HAVE's first this week. One thing about motherhood...you can't quit. You can't be fired. You just have to do better. I will.
Got home, and Andrew made a chart that read, "Mommy Time-Out if she yells 6 times". I announced that any time he wanted me to go into a time-out, I would gladly. My crock-pot recipe was a total bust...meat didn't cook...so I quickly threw together one of my backup meals (smoked sausage, shells & cheese, mixed veggies, if you must know). We ate dinner. Then Andrew began once again throwing him sister to the ground. She was asking for it, but he just hits her SO HARD. Jeff and I each asked him no less than 5 times to go easy on her. But then he did it so incredibly hard, I was sure she'd have brain damage. So I did what any person driven to the point of insanity would do.
I had a full-blown, adult temper tantrum. Screaming (so hard my throat hurt afterwards) to Jeff about how I didn't know WHAT to do with the kids, that Andrew is so violent, he doesn't have any remorse about hurting his sister, and maybe I should have just had girls because I am worried he's going to grow up and hurt people since he obviously gets such pleasure from it. I look at Andrew...and he's SMILING at me...smirking really. Which set me off into a whole other dimension of anger. I burst into tears, pointed at him, and screamed at Jeff..."See? There's something wrong with him. He likes seeing people in pain."
Very mature. Great example. Yay me.
I scooped up Michael and maturely said, "At least I haven't ruined HIM yet," and went upstairs to get Mikey to bed. Michael healed my angered heart with his giggles and baby talk. I then went into my bedroom, where Jeff was changing for fencing. I announced that I was done being a mother for the day, and I didn't even want to SEE the children for the rest of the day. Jeff put both the other kids to bed. Lily poked her head into our room and cried that she wanted me to put her to bed. I told her I was in time-out for screaming. She readily accepted this and gave me a kiss before leaving. Andrew skulked in, and I apologized for screaming. I told him I was really frustrated and angry but I shouldn't have yelled like that. He asked if I would tuck him in...I told him that I just needed some time to cool off. That families get angry with each other, but they still love each other. That sometimes we just need to be separated from each other. I kissed him and told him to leave.
Not my best moment ever. I SHOULD have put them in their rooms before it got to that point. Separated the children into different sections of the house before it got to that point. Taken a walk with the dog before I got to that point. Locked myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes before it got to that point. Taken some Mikey-therapy BEFORE it got to that point. SHOULD HAVE. Will try to next time.
Saturday was better. I volunteered at the library for the first time. Such a soothing, productive 2 hours. Very therapeutic. We had good friends over for dinner. They were helping us eat this gigantic frozen lasagna that I never used over the holidays. We didn't clean up much for them. They tolerated our loud children. They are easy guests...it's so nice to have people over that you don't have to stress about.
Today is church in the morning. Swim lesson in the afternoon. Next week is...a week full of nothing just like last week. But I will strive to do the SHOULD HAVE's first this week. One thing about motherhood...you can't quit. You can't be fired. You just have to do better. I will.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Le-sigh
I just may kill them today.
Just maybe today will be the day. I actually yanked Andrew off of Lily and kind of threw him just now.
But seriously? How long can one person reasonably listen to the screaming? How long can one person reasonably watch the whining and wrestling and screaming? How many times can one person reasonably ask/yell/scream/ask/scream some more to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP WRESTLING? STOP WHINING AND SCREAMING, YOU KNOW THAT HE WILL HURT YOU IF YOU ATTACK HIM.
I have tried pretend play today...Lily whines and pushes and Andrew slams her into the ground. No matter what we try to play. Neighbor? Ends in wrestling. Spy? Ends in Andrew tripping Lily to the ground. Grocery? Ends in Michael and Lily wrestling for the cash register.
I have tried crafts....snowflakes today. Ends in Lily throwing scissors. Ends in Michael sticking crayons up his nose. Ends in Andrew crumpling his paper in frustration as his siblings insist on coloring on his snowflakes.
I have tried tv. Too scary (VeggieTales?).
I have tried ignoring it. But the screaming...my God, the screaming.
But the good news is, it is 10:30. So just 2 hours until Andrew has to go to the stop. G.D. Afternoon Kindergarten. And winter is awesome too...I was supposed to have playgroup here this morning, but everyone is sick and school is delayed because of the 3 centimeters of snow on the ground.
Excuse me, I have to go scream now...
Just maybe today will be the day. I actually yanked Andrew off of Lily and kind of threw him just now.
But seriously? How long can one person reasonably listen to the screaming? How long can one person reasonably watch the whining and wrestling and screaming? How many times can one person reasonably ask/yell/scream/ask/scream some more to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP WRESTLING? STOP WHINING AND SCREAMING, YOU KNOW THAT HE WILL HURT YOU IF YOU ATTACK HIM.
I have tried pretend play today...Lily whines and pushes and Andrew slams her into the ground. No matter what we try to play. Neighbor? Ends in wrestling. Spy? Ends in Andrew tripping Lily to the ground. Grocery? Ends in Michael and Lily wrestling for the cash register.
I have tried crafts....snowflakes today. Ends in Lily throwing scissors. Ends in Michael sticking crayons up his nose. Ends in Andrew crumpling his paper in frustration as his siblings insist on coloring on his snowflakes.
I have tried tv. Too scary (VeggieTales?).
I have tried ignoring it. But the screaming...my God, the screaming.
But the good news is, it is 10:30. So just 2 hours until Andrew has to go to the stop. G.D. Afternoon Kindergarten. And winter is awesome too...I was supposed to have playgroup here this morning, but everyone is sick and school is delayed because of the 3 centimeters of snow on the ground.
Excuse me, I have to go scream now...
Monday, January 04, 2010
Something to look forward to
So I've been a little down in the dumps. Well, the trip back to Ohio gave me some lifts, but took away some sleep...so kind of evened out. But from mid-November to Christmas was so blah. I just felt blah. Started suspecting maybe I needed to see a doctor about depression. That kind of fun stuff.
Mostly I know it is just lack of sleep. I don't do well without my sleep. But Jeff decided that I just needed something to look forward to. He finds this helps him get through the drudgery of day to day working. For Jeff, something to look forward to means a trip. He is looking forward to a trip to Vegas with his college buddies in August of this year. He suggested that I take a weekend to go somewhere by myself.
To which I pointed out that he is willing to use vacation days for his "weekend" away, so he gets 3-4 day weekends. He is NOT willing to use vacation days so that I can get away, so I am basically limited to one night away...Saturday night. Because he is who he is, Jeff digested that fact quickly, and offered a vacation day for my weekend away. Couple that with my in-laws long weekend on President's day, and I have a 4 day weekend all to myself.
And tonight, I booked my flight to Southern California. I haven't seen my best friend Pamela since our cruise from hell in November 2005. And THAT is a bad way to leave things off ;) We talk on the phone almost every week and despite the time zone differences, she is still one of my go-to people when I need to celebrate or gripe about something.
So THERE. That is something to look forward to. A trip to California smack dab in the middle of the worst month of the year. February. I haven't been on a plane in over 3 years. I haven't been on a plane without children in 4 years. So I'm even looking forward to the long plane ride. I wonder how many books they allow in your carry-on.
Mostly I know it is just lack of sleep. I don't do well without my sleep. But Jeff decided that I just needed something to look forward to. He finds this helps him get through the drudgery of day to day working. For Jeff, something to look forward to means a trip. He is looking forward to a trip to Vegas with his college buddies in August of this year. He suggested that I take a weekend to go somewhere by myself.
To which I pointed out that he is willing to use vacation days for his "weekend" away, so he gets 3-4 day weekends. He is NOT willing to use vacation days so that I can get away, so I am basically limited to one night away...Saturday night. Because he is who he is, Jeff digested that fact quickly, and offered a vacation day for my weekend away. Couple that with my in-laws long weekend on President's day, and I have a 4 day weekend all to myself.
And tonight, I booked my flight to Southern California. I haven't seen my best friend Pamela since our cruise from hell in November 2005. And THAT is a bad way to leave things off ;) We talk on the phone almost every week and despite the time zone differences, she is still one of my go-to people when I need to celebrate or gripe about something.
So THERE. That is something to look forward to. A trip to California smack dab in the middle of the worst month of the year. February. I haven't been on a plane in over 3 years. I haven't been on a plane without children in 4 years. So I'm even looking forward to the long plane ride. I wonder how many books they allow in your carry-on.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
A decade
When I started the 2000's, life was quite different.
Obviously. I mean...we're talking 10 years here. It doesn't matter how boring you are, 10 years vastly changes your life view.
But when the calendar changed from 1999 to 2000:
--I was a newlywed
--I was watching the ball drop over Times Square...at 9pm. First New Years in PST.
--I was miserable in my job, still fighting the urge to drive off the edge of the highway each day home from work. Or driving off into the sunset and leaving my life behind.
--I was eating a lot of Chicken Voila.
--I was jealous of my college friends who had gone on to grad school...I missed the life of a student.
--I was jealous every time my family did anything together. So so so homesick.
--I had NO desire to become a parent.
--I was 30 pounds lighter than I am now...but that Chicken Voila was going to change that soon.
--I was miserable.
You could not pay me enough money to go back to New Year's 2000. While I was happy to be married to Jeff, I was bitter that we were living on the west coast, unable to appreciate it or enjoy it. I was realizing that my life-long goal and desire to be a teacher was a big fat mess. A big fat mistake. I was homesick and not giving California a chance to be anything other than "Not Home."
It's been a good 10 years. Lots of growing up. Lots of reproducing. Lots of moving. Lots of adjusting and adapting to change. Not much career growth or enlightenment. Not much improvement in health or wellness.
I have few expectations for how the next 10 years will end up. I will have a 16, 13, and 11 year old, and unless there is a miracle of science, no others. I will probably be working full time. We will probably be in a new house...quite possibly in a new state. I will have more nieces and nephews. I may finally learn how to spell words like separate and museum without spell check on. I may have an actual hair style...and I will probably have to start dealing with grays. My wisdom teeth are going to need to come out. I may have glasses. Let's hope that I finally have curtains on the windows (although that hasn't changed in 10 years yet...)
Obviously. I mean...we're talking 10 years here. It doesn't matter how boring you are, 10 years vastly changes your life view.
But when the calendar changed from 1999 to 2000:
--I was a newlywed
--I was watching the ball drop over Times Square...at 9pm. First New Years in PST.
--I was miserable in my job, still fighting the urge to drive off the edge of the highway each day home from work. Or driving off into the sunset and leaving my life behind.
--I was eating a lot of Chicken Voila.
--I was jealous of my college friends who had gone on to grad school...I missed the life of a student.
--I was jealous every time my family did anything together. So so so homesick.
--I had NO desire to become a parent.
--I was 30 pounds lighter than I am now...but that Chicken Voila was going to change that soon.
--I was miserable.
You could not pay me enough money to go back to New Year's 2000. While I was happy to be married to Jeff, I was bitter that we were living on the west coast, unable to appreciate it or enjoy it. I was realizing that my life-long goal and desire to be a teacher was a big fat mess. A big fat mistake. I was homesick and not giving California a chance to be anything other than "Not Home."
It's been a good 10 years. Lots of growing up. Lots of reproducing. Lots of moving. Lots of adjusting and adapting to change. Not much career growth or enlightenment. Not much improvement in health or wellness.
I have few expectations for how the next 10 years will end up. I will have a 16, 13, and 11 year old, and unless there is a miracle of science, no others. I will probably be working full time. We will probably be in a new house...quite possibly in a new state. I will have more nieces and nephews. I may finally learn how to spell words like separate and museum without spell check on. I may have an actual hair style...and I will probably have to start dealing with grays. My wisdom teeth are going to need to come out. I may have glasses. Let's hope that I finally have curtains on the windows (although that hasn't changed in 10 years yet...)
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Back home
We are back. Ohio was the familiar whirlwind of family and food. Unusual this time was the fact that while at Jeff's house, Jeff's brother and his fiance and Jeff's sister her husband were also there. And while at my house, my little sister and her fiance and my big sister and husband and son were also there. We usually get to see everyone a few time a year, here and there...very very rarely is everyone together. It was...fantastic. And it makes me once again feel that ache deep between my ribs...wouldn't it be nice if...
But...-clap-clap-...enough of that. Not to be. And not entirely our fault anymore, now that Jeff's siblings live in Texas. Shake it off and get back to reality.
Reality: Lily needs to learn to sleep by herself again. She's gotten way too used to roommates.
Reality: No one else is going to do the dishes. Or cook. Or play Phineas and Ferb with Lily.
Reality: Time to meal plan, sort the laundry, spend the days without adults, drag 3 children here and there with no additional eyes.
Reality.
So here we go...let's just get on with it.
But...-clap-clap-...enough of that. Not to be. And not entirely our fault anymore, now that Jeff's siblings live in Texas. Shake it off and get back to reality.
Reality: Lily needs to learn to sleep by herself again. She's gotten way too used to roommates.
Reality: No one else is going to do the dishes. Or cook. Or play Phineas and Ferb with Lily.
Reality: Time to meal plan, sort the laundry, spend the days without adults, drag 3 children here and there with no additional eyes.
Reality.
So here we go...let's just get on with it.
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