House of mirrors

Thank you for all the supportive comments on the last post. I am NOT feeling guilty anymore. I am excited to help, and realize that maybe someday I will be on the begging end of a phone call like that. I really hope I don't pull the "big guns" out and start the whole working mother/SAHM mother discussion...but whatever. This is one of the downsides to joining a small congregation. End of discussion. ;)

This week has been leaps and bounds better than last. Let me first acknowledge that Michael has been sleeping through the night and taking naps that last at least an hour. A well rested Giselle is certain to have a better week. So that might be it. But I also resolved to not yell or get hysterical. This involved sitting Andrew down on Monday morning and having a discussion with him...I told him that I was not going to yell this week. I was going to count. And if I say his name and count to 3, then he knows to remove himself to another room and count to 10 before coming back in. And if I get up to 5, then he is to have alone time/play in his room for 30 minutes. We agreed and reviewed. Then Lily woke up, and I sat her down and explained that Mommy was not going to yell this week, she was going to count. And if I count to 3, Lily goes to the step for time-out. And if she continues her bad behavior, then she would spend some alone time in her room playing. We agreed and reviewed. Then Mike woke up, and I sat him down and took a crayon out of his nose and I pleaded with him that he please not dive off of furniture or eat dog food or just generally cause chaos. He laughed and climbed up on the fireplace mantle as we reviewed. Fail.

My goals were: 1) Don't get emotionally involved. 2) Separate the children before it gets to maddening levels.

I also made an effort to engage with the kids more. Winter is boring for everyone...I need to be the grownup and show them how to invent things to do that don't involve wrestling.

So what have we DONE this week? Andrew expressed a desire to bake something. I abhor baking. But I got out a battered kids cookbook that my MIL gave me a while back. Andrew decided that he absolutely MUST make animal crackers. It has taken us all week to gather the ingredients (I had a terrible time finding buttermilk...and NO, it would not be helpful for you to point out that obviously I could substitute something in everyone's kitchen like yogurt or sour cream or vanilla abstract because that is such common knowledge.)

I created an obstacle course one morning, using placemats and dishes from the play kitchen and Michael's new basketball hoop and kitchen chairs and such. Andrew was required to run through it 3 times before he could join his imaginary football team (we were playing neighbor...shocker). Then he had fun creating an obstacle course for me. Lily and Michael did pretty well not tearing our courses apart...Michael had a little too much fun with the climbing over the chairs part. ;)

The kids played nicely together. While I was cleaning up or prepping food or whatever, Andrew and Lily played dogs for about an HOUR. And there has been lots of parallel play as well.

Monday and Tuesday I had to count quite a bit. Andrew would start in on Lily and she would scream. So rather than ask 100 times until frustration brewed, I would call out Andrew's name and start counting really slowly. A few times this week he has had to step out. Only once has he had to go to his room for 30 minutes...which ended up being WAY too long, so he was released after 15. But then he was having so much fun by himself up in his room, he stayed there for 45 minutes.

We've played with Michael's new blocks. I started building "-inators" with the blocks (inventions by the bad guy in Phineas and Ferb). Then someone would knock them over and I would yell, "Curse you, Andrew the Anteater!" Which was so hilariously funny, that now the kids are delighting in having their tower knocked over instead of screaming and raging at each other. We've colored...a lot. We've read some books. We've taken bubble baths and watched a lot of tv. We've had dance parties...I decided to play every CD we own once...and the kids rate if they like them or not. We've watched a lot of tv...it is winter after all. But we've been happy. Enjoying the day.

And all that changed around here was me. And Michael sleeping...that changed too. The kids haven't been perfect...they still tease and torment each other. Michael has actually been a bit of a bear this week, tantruming over crazy 2 year old shit and just generally being unpredictable and an emotional basket case. But me changing my attitude made it a good week for everyone.

I just occasionally need to remind myself that this house reflects me. If I am silly and happy and fun, then often others will follow me. If I am grumpy and unhappy and annoyed, then the others will often bounce that right back to me. Which is why it is so dangerous and unhealthy for me to fall into those moods...those self-pitying, discontented, frustrated moods. Because like a house of mirrors, those imperfections are multiplied 3 times around. It's just so EASY to give into it.

So now I just have to figure out how to keep up this energy level. Michael? Are you listening? Let's keep this sleep thing going, shall we?