My favorite pictures this week

Andrew the superhero. Facepaint by Sesame Place.

My family...minus 2. A sweet moment captured next to the sheep at the local grange fair.

Lily so pleased with herself because she climbed into her sand/water table. "Beach!"

Honestly. Seriously. Could he be any cuter? And, no, his ears don't do that naturally.

Exhibit A: Reasons why we have no full family pictures yet. None framed, anyway.

In a rush...

I'm trying to enjoy each day with my little ones. It's so easy to get buried under the avalanche of dirty diapers, laundry, toys...my God, the toys, clutter, dirt, etc etc. And while I'm struggling to catch some air under that mountain, I find myself thinking, "In just 3 years, Michael will be starting pre-school, and I'll have 2 hours a day to actually DO this stuff."

And then I get sad. (I never said I'm not insane...I'm allowed to be overwhelmed by my chores in one moment and saddened by the prospect of it ending in the next).

I really am trying to just appreciate this stage for what it is. No sports games to go to. Just a few parties. School is only a few hours a day, and laid back...no homework to struggle with in the evenings. The children go to bed early in the evening, so Jeff and I have alone time. They all still believe that their parents can fix anything.

And the kids themselves. Ah, I don't want to forget them either. They drive me crazy sometimes, but just because they're kids. ;) I want to appreciate the great things as well. Magical conversations with Andrew. Playing baseball with him and seeing him actually hit the ball most of the time...amazing. Listen to him get excited when he reads words off of signs ("Does that sign say 'golf' Mommy?") Reading chapter books with him before bed.

Watching Lily's face as she tries to crack us up ("What do you want for breakfast, Lily?" "I eat Pepere." giggles ensue). See her face light up and listen to her cheer after she goes down the "big" slide on our playset. Then listening to her cheer just as loud when Andrew does it. Listening to her put sentences together for the first time ("Daddy come home!"). Watching those chubby little legs bend as she does a somersault all on her own. Listen to her sing her ABC's, missing 3/4 of the letters.

Seeing the adoration of Michael as he gazes at one of us. Watching him suck on his feet (who doesn't love that stage?). Feeling that tense little body straighten and relax as he gets his first few sips of milk. Seeing him pull of the breast and stare drunkenly up at me with a last dribble of milk sliding out of the corner of his mouth. Comfort him when he startles as the loud noises that are constant in our house.

And watching them together. Will there ever again be a time where they love each other this much? Watching Andrew read a book to Lily, stroking her hair as he does it. Watching Lily get a big grin on her face as she leaps on Andrew to tackle him. Andrew chasing Lily, but knowing not to catch her...staying just far enough behind her to allow her to delight in the chase. And when she is chasing, letting her catch him once in a while. Lily sharing her night-night with Michael. Andrew stroking Michael's cheek and talking to him in a sweet baby voice. Lily giggling with glee when she and Michael lay next to each other to get diaper changes. Michael LIGHTING UP whenever one of his siblings is nearby.

Yes, it is hard to see it sometimes, but I'm sure these are the good old days.

Another conversation with Andrew

Due to popular request, here is another conversation with my 4 year old.

We were driving home from a doggy play date (Shadow and her friend Ella played, while their respective children also played, and their mommies got some social time). Andrew is in the back of the car talking non-stop...as usual. Here is an excerpt of our discussion...

A- Mom, I am going to live with you even when I get grown up.
G- If you want to, I'd be happy to have you. But if you get married, your wife will probably want to live in your own house.
A- Well, then I'll live next door to you. Okay? We can be neighbors. So either the house across the street or next door, okay?
G- That sounds perfect.
A- And we can eat dinner together every night. And if you move again, we'll all move together, okay?
G- I'm sure your wife will be thrilled.
A- When am I allowed to get married?
G- When you find the right person and you are out of school.
A- Well, I'm going to married right away. And me and my married person are going to live right next door, forever.
G- That's fine. But you should really wait until you find the person you really want to marry first.
A- Oh, Mom, there's lots of girls I want to marry. So many pretty ones and funny ones. I'll find someone.
G- Well, you have lots of time.
A- Hey, Mom, I'm thinking of an animal, do you want to guess which one?


Oh, he's a catch, I tell you! What girl wouldn't want a man that wants to eat dinner with his mommy every night? Too bad for her family...

Birthday with Andrew

(the present that I'd enjoy more without kids is a computer game that Andrew picked out for himself, I mean for me. I doubt I'll ever get to play it alone ;) )

The scene: Dinner has just finished. Jeff has put Lily to bed and I am upstairs nursing Michael in an attempt to get him down for bed. Andrew and Jeff are preparing the birthday cake.

Andrew runs up the stairs, "Mom, Dad can't find the birthday candles."
G- "Just use those star ones in the pantry"
Andrew runs down the stairs
A minute later, Andrew runs up the stairs, "Mom, we don't have 31 candles."
G-"Well, could we put a group of 3 and then a single one to make the number 31?"
A- "I think we should use just 1. Then there will be 5 left for my birthday in November."
G-"We can always buy more candles, Andrew"
A- "I think we should use just 1."
Andrew runs down the stairs.
A minute later, Andrew runs up the stairs holding a single candle.
A- "Mom, turn on the light."
G-"Andrew, I'm really trying to get Michael to fall asleep. Can you just tell me?"
A-"I picked out the purple star candle for you. It's my least favorite of the 6, so I can have my 5 favorites for my birthday cake."
G-"That's fine."
A- "Have you thought of a wish? You actually get 2 wishes, because this is a star candle. One wish on a star and one birthday wish. Even though I will have 5 candles, I'll still only get 2 wishes. Do you know what you will wish for? You can wish for anything...like maybe, 'I wish my kids would be more calm.' or maybe 'I wish Michael had a crib.' Oh, wait, Michael has a crib. Maybe you could wish that Michael had a bigger crib...you know, something like that. But remember, I will only have to make 2 wishes..."
G-"Andrew, I got it. Can you please go get my cake ready?"

It's random conversations like these that I wish I could freeze frame and remember forever. He was so earnest. Later he made sure I got the first piece of cake. And then he told me that tomorrow would be my birthday too, because Jeff's present hasn't come in the mail yet. He is so sincerely happy for me that it's my birthday. Not a bit of envy or jealousy or anything. He eagerly watched me open my gift...so excited to see my expression. I am in awe of his selflessness and love. How proud and happy I am that he's my son. And how he makes me laugh.

Oh, and Michael did NOT fall asleep. Shocker.

31

I'm 31 today. Birthdays aren't as exciting as they used to be...my day will be no different than any other. Except that I have a 4 year old who is very excited and proud that it is my birthday. Andrew and Jeff went shopping for my birthday gift last night, and so Andrew is very excited for me to open it tonight. He has not given me any clues, but I did get some info. He was looking at my wedding ring and he told me that a diamond is the strongest thing on earth. I asked how he knew it, and he said that Daddy told him. I asked if that was because they were looking at diamonds for my birthday gift. He snickered and said, "Noooo, but you're reallly going to like it!" So no diamonds. Jeff gave me the ominous clue, "Well, you might enjoy this gift more if you didn't have kids." Hmmmm, great.

Anyway, so birthdays have been kind of ho-hum since children...I can't go out to lunch, my co-workers haven't noticed, etc. But this year, Andrew has made it fun. He woke up this morning, bounded down the stairs and said, "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" and gave me a huge hug and kiss. Then we went to the park, and Andrew told every adult there that it was my birthday. He keeps singing the birthday song, and he is genuinely excited it's my day. Michael did his part as well...for 2 nights in a row, he's slept 8 hours in a row at night. Lily...well, she's just being Lily. We'll give her a few years. ;)

Thanks Andrew, for a great day!

Amazing Lily

Okay, if you don't want to hear me brag, you'd better not read this post. But if you DO want to read about me being a delinquent parent...please enjoy!

Lily is 22 months old. Soon she will be 2 years old, and I won't have to count her age in months anymore. -sigh- Such a big milestone...unless you are that crazy lady I met at the park who told me her son was 34 months old...you are a freak...I can't even do that kind of math without paper.

Anyway, I digress. Lily is so different than Andrew was...delightfully so. But one big difference I've been noticing is that she is in such a RUSH to grow up. She's not enjoying the subtle nuances of being 1...she's just rushing toward that 2 year old standing in her future. And unfortunately for Lily, her mother is balking at it.

Let me give you some examples of my 2 year old in training...

1) Lily seems to think she wants to use the potty. Uh, WHATEVER? Here's a little TMI, but she only asks when she hasn't gone poop in a while. I think then she can actually feel it coming when it gets to that point and so she will ask to go potty (are you totally grossed out yet? Welcome to motherhood, where bodily functions have reached the social equality of, say, discussing the weather). SOME mothers, better mothers, would eagerly whisk her away to the potty seat and read her stories of Elmo going to the potty and go to the store and pick out pretty panties with princesses on the front. THIS mother, the bad mother, says, "No, just go in your diaper."

I know, I know, you are gasping with shock. But, seriously? She is 22 months old. I tried one morning to put her on the potty every time she asked. And she never went, not one little drop. And we had 5 wettish diapers that I had to replace. And I had to find a place to put Michael safely 5 times for NOTHING. Uh-uh. She's not ready. And I'm not ready. And I know there are mythical children out there who potty train before 2, but I envision that "potty-training" to equate to more "parent-training" than anything else; an existence filled with wet, soiled panties, puddles on the floor, and other disgusting exchanges. No thank you. I'll just wait until she's 3 years 4 months and is completely potty trained in a week like Andrew. No accidents. Okay, so I won't make her wait that long...but 22 months ain't happening. And why is is so exciting to have your kid potty trained? It's really overrated. Diapers are so easy...especially when you are out running errands. Okay, I've ranted enough.

2) Lily is desperately trying to learn her letters and numbers. All day, she points at letters and asks, "Wha's Da?" Which is really cool and I'm really proud of her...but secretly it gets old really fast. I think it's really me not wanting her to grow up so fast. Yesterday I was wearing a t-shirt with BORCHERS written in big letters on the front (thanks, Dad), and she came up to me, pointed at the word and said, "ABC's". Then she pointed to the B and said "B", then the O and said "O", and then her 1 year old brain bounced off to another activity, leaving me slack jawed at the fact she just started spelling the word on my shirt. My BABY, people.

3) Lily is counting, really and truly counting. She lines up her Cheerios and as she does it she says, "Uhn, dooo, feeee, fooo, iiiive, ixxxx, eiiiigh, niiii," Okay, so she never says seven...but, dude, she's not even 2! And I know she's counting, not just memorizing numbers, because she does things like counts birds flying overhead..."Birds, Mommy. Uhn, dooo birds!"

4) Lily has decided this week to start speaking in full sentences. Prepositions and everything. We were out to eat with Jeff's parents and she clear as day said, "Pawpaw go walk with me?" It's amazing and wonderful and I'm sure it's totally normal for her age (I haven't read a book about development recently, so I can't remember). But it makes her seem so OLD. Soon she will lose all those baby pronunciations like Andrew did.

5) Oh, yea, and she wants to sleep in a bed, not a crib. Since my sister so gracefully has lent me her crib, I was planning on keeping Lily in the crib until 16 or 17 at least. Why would you want your children roaming free in their rooms? Especially if your children were as uncoordinated as mine so cannot climb out on their own. When she asks to sleep in the twin bed, I just avoid the subject. Pin that Mother-of-the-year pin RIGHT HERE, please.

In writing this out, I think I've realized what my problem is. I remember Andrew doing all these things, and now he's just a big old kid. Not a baby, just a kid (who is wonderful and funny and not at all a disappointment...but you know). And I watch her and I realize how fast this stage of life is and as much as it drives me crazy sometimes I'm sad to see her pass through it. Take your time, Lily. I love you just the way you are!

MINE!

Lily learned a new word today. And she knows how to use it! She and Andrew were "playing" in the basement (read: fighting), and I hear her screaming "MINE. MINE CAR." Officially, Andrew cannot rip things out of her hands without me knowing about it. -sigh- Life as a referee has begun.

Other random notes from today:

I washed my kitchen floor today. I usually wash my kitchen floor and front hall when Lily is asleep. Okay, I don't usually wash my kitchen floor at all. Today, Lily was awake, and despite my warnings, she tried to walk on the wet floor. And she promptly slipped and whacked her head (nothing the Booboo bunny couldn't solve, though). For the rest of the morning, she wouldn't walk on the kitchen floor. At all. I had to hold her hand or else listen to her tantruming at the border between the family room and kitchen.

Andrew and I were playing Olympics (our latest imaginary game). He likes it when I'm the spectator (no competition that way). At one point he said, "I'm on the USA baseball team. You be the watcher. Pretend I'm your son." ? But you are my son?

Bigger than Andrew???

So Michael had his 4 month appointment today. Remember little Mike? Mr. "Let's-drink-formula-because-I-can't-gain-weight"? This same little guy who hasn't had that fattening formula for 2 months now?

He is taller than Andrew was at 4 months.

:)

Yes, taller than my giant firstborn who the doctor asked today if he was excited for 1st grade (um, not for 2 more years). But 2 pounds lighter than my first bohemoth.

For the record: 15lbs 8oz (65th %ile) and 26 1/2 inches (85th %ile)

For the record...this is how big Lily was at 6 months...well, she was a little lighter, but almost.

-sigh- My baby is growing up too fast...

The trip, the trip!

(for more pictures...as if you'd actually want to see more...check here.)

I had planned on writing out the trip journal style, but that is too long and too boring...and I stopped writing down what happened after Tuesday. Michael didn't sleep the best, so I spent my precious evening hours playing cards with my family instead of logging what had happened. So sue me. ;)

Here are my favorite cute kid things from the week:

---When we first arrived, I overheard Andrew telling Colin, "It's not just Lily and me now...we have a baby now too."

---Colin must have said a dozen time, "Hey, I think I'll call this baby Michael." Good idea, Colin!

---All 3 kids were chasing around our GORGEOUS rental house, and Andrew fell. While he was crying, Colin and Lily stopped. But apparently, Lily wanted to continue. She shoved Colin full in the chest and said, "Chase!" Colin looked a bit shocked...and I'm a bit worried about Tiger-Lily in school now. ;)

---Colin thought Lily was older that she is. She's only about 3 pounds lighter than him, a few inches shorter, and they wear the same size pants...so you can understand the confusion. He kept getting frustrated with her when she wouldn't talk to him or tell him they were best friends. Kate finally got through to him by explaining that she is a "Polywog"...the age designation at his daycare. He immediately understood and explained to the rest of us that "She's just a Pollywog."

---Lily fell in love with the beach as soon as she saw it. She was constantly calling out, "Bee-cha, Bee-cha" But she was a little confused...she thought the water was the beach. So as the waves would ebb away from her, she would call out, "C'mere Bee-cha, C'mere". Also, the "beach" only existed in her immediate area, so she would randomly call family members to come and enjoy her beach, "C'mere, Pepere, Bee-cha"

---Lily also loved riding bikes...if we weren't at the Bee-cha, she wanted to "Rahd Bahk". And as she went, she would yell, "Faster!" to Jeff. Little dare-devil.

---Lily actually loved everything. She woke up in the morning wanting to go to the "Bee-cha. Wah-wah. Birds." On the way to the beach, she'd see bike riders and say, 'Rahd Bahk!" Once on the beach she wanted to race, chase, and dig.

---Andrew did his normal 5 days to adjust and 2 days of super fun. He just hates water in his eyes, sand on his skin, being hot, etc etc. Poor guy just takes a while to get used to stuff. Unlike our Tiger-Lily.

---When a wave would hit Lily, she'd say, "Yea, BABY", like Austin Powers. Her brother taught her that.

I stopped keeping a log after Tuesday, because the kids were so tired and grumpy that there was nothing really cute to keep track of. We played HARD Sunday and Monday...perhaps too hard. They had re cooped by the last day at the beach, Friday. We had a long drive there and home (God Bless my parents), but the kids did really well, all things considered. Driving to SC from Philly is very different than driving from Ohio...mostly because you have to get past Washington DC. Icky traffic. Icky is the censored word.

Now we are trying to get the kiddos back into normal mode, while doing laundry and unpacking. Lily got used to sleeping in bed with people, and she cried for FOUR HOURS last night, wanting to "Peep peep Mommy Daddy bed" (sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed). Tonight she wanted to sleep in her twin bed set up in her room. That was really intended for guests...isn't it too early to switch her into a big girl bed? She is also requesting to use the potty all the time...but that's another post.

All in all, a fantastic vacation! I loved spending time with my sisters and their families. Everyone got along and was very considerate of other people...difficult when so many are under one roof. I only hope that they got the same impression from us and our rag-tag crew.

Just a minute...

We're back...and I have lots to post about...but I need just a minute to get out from under the PILE of laundry and car games and beach sundries and other CRAP that has landed on my house. My house that was messy to begin with. I'll try to update soon!

Here's a little preview...

Little guy

How about an update on Michael? I feel sometimes like I need a blog for each of my 3 children. I just can't keep up with all the stories and happenings for each of them. I have an entire blog of material for Lily, easily. But since I can't even keep writing for this blog, I'd better not start another.

So...Michael is going to be 4 months in just 10 days. Oh, how he is changing.

--found his feet yesterday...just kept reaching down and grabbing them...so pleased with himself.

--he's sucking his thumb a lot lately. He likes the pacifier when we're cuddling him to sleep, but he just won't keep it in himself. He spits the thing out immediately if we're not holding it in. But the thumb seems to be growing on him.

--the giggles...oh, the giggles. He is quite ticklish, so that is the easiest way. But as the days pass, he seems to find other things funny. He sneezed the other day and that made him giggle. Dancing with him makes him giggle. Pat-a-cake can make him giggle.

--(shhh, come closer...he's slept 8 hour in a row for 2 nights now...and since he's doing so well, I think we'll go on vacation tomorrow and ruin it).

--His favorite place to be is in the thick of things. Nothing is more fascinating that people. Toys are a waste of time...he'd rather watch his siblings or parents. And such a happy little thing. Doesn't have a fussy time like the other two did. And he's tough. Lily fell on top of him the other day (she was spinning around to make herself dizzy while I changed his bedsheet...I swear, turn your back for 1 second...), and Michael cried, but he recovered very quickly. He's just happy.

I swear to you, I couldn't love this kid any more than I do. And he is so in love with me. It's good to be the milk-maker. We were walking in to drop Andrew off at camp yesterday, and Michael was looking up at me from the stroller. A woman I don't know, walking in behind me commented, "Oh. Just look at how he gazes at you and smiles. He's in love."

Prayer

Sadly, we are not a religious family. We don't go to church and we don't pray before meals, etc. Andrew seems to have a natural religious streak in him, so we will probably start going for his sake. He does get exposed to it at nursery school, which leads us to moments like the one last night.

We went to the cute downtown of our little PA town to try and get some reading material from the local bookstore (trying to support small businesses instead of Borders, etc. etc). We decided to try out a new pizza place that opened within walking distance of the book store. Andrew had noticed them building this place over the course of many months, and was excited to see what it looked like inside. We sat down to eat and our conversation went something like this:

A: Mom, is this a new building?
M: Yes, remember when we watched them build it?
A: I think we should pray before we eat at this new place.
M: That sounds really nice Andrew.
A: I'll be the talker.
Andrew reaches for both Jeff and my hands, then closes his eyes and very seriously prays...
"God, this is a new place. We really like it. We won't wreck it so it can stay new." He looked up and we all said "Amen"...while Jeff and I stifled giggles.

I think it's time to go to church.

We're going to the beach!!!

We leave for the beach in 4 days. My parents and my sisters and me are all cramming together in a huge beach house for a week of fun in the sun. I repeat...we leave in FOUR DAYS. Right now that is equal parts Woo-hoo and Yikes. I am not...shall we say...packed and ready. All that I've done to prepare so far is create a list of things that we need to bring. And it is so long and scary that is just makes me NOT want to pack. Plus, packing with little kids around is a joke (no, you can't have that, it's for vacation), and you can't do it too far in advance because the stuff you are packing is stuff they use every day...which is why you need to haul it all across the country. So Thursday should be fun.

And, yes, we are hauling all of our crap all the way to South Carolina even though we live literally 90 minutes from the Atlantic Ocean. Why drive 13 hours instead of 1? Because the beach my family goes to is a little piece of heaven. And heaven is worth a 13 hour drive with 3 kids. Which won't be so bad because my parents are coming here first (did you realize that Philly is in between Ohio and South Carolina? No? Not so much? Are you yet again amazed and jealous at the awesomeness of my parents? Did I mention they are also paying IN FULL for the beach house that we will all be staying at? No? I can hear you turning green.). And then we are splitting the 3 kids up between cars and caravaning down there. And I get the "easy" car (Michael), while Jeff and my dad get the "challenging" car (sing along CD's, DVD's, passing snacks, finding the correct Elmo book for Lily, etc). All because Michael and I are attached at the breast...so I just HAVE to be in the car with the baby. ;) Score another PRO for breastfeeding!

I'm so excited...just so excited. I can't wait to bring Andrew back and take him searching for crabs and seashells and maybe even turtle nests. I can't wait to show it to Lily for the first time and watch her power walk into the waves and eat sand (at home she finds it a delicacy). And the bike riding! I think the kids will really enjoy it...although maybe not as much as Jeff and I will. Michael probably won't enjoy it much, but he's at such an easy stage, we'll just drag him along and try to keep him in the shade as much as possible. Honestly, I don't think there is an easier stage than 4 months. Still just drinking breastmilk (he doesn't get any formula anymore), so no food or gear to bring for that, not crawling or walking, great vision so he's constantly entertained by just looking around. Sleeping enough that Mommy doesn't feel like keeling over every day. Lovely. And I hope I've not just cursed myself.

While we're there, we will hit the 1 year anniversary of that fateful pregnancy test. Worst. Night. Ever. And look how great that turned out. There will be much retrospection on my part, remembering how incredibly freaked out I was then and how incredibly down to my soul happy I am now. What a difference a year makes! We will also celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary while we're there. So no sappy wedding post like I usually do (do I usually? It seems like I might)...I'll store it up and make a real doozy for the 10th anniversary. Anyway, 9 doesn't seem like a very big thing when "10" is just a year away. That sounds much more impressive.

Enough of this rambling post. I should be PACKING, damnit. -sigh- I just know it isn't going to happen until Thursday anyway.

Our family...a few weeks ago

Because family photos are so rare...here's one...too bad my kids refuse to smile for the camera. (thanks Michelle, for taking this one of us!)

Let's compare...

For those of you who like to compare siblings, I submit the following:

My children, at 3 1/2 months of age.


First, comes Andrew, in March of 2004. Chunky monkey. Notice the baskets of organized educational and stimulating toys in the background of the second photo. Notice later on that the subsequent children have no such stimulus and are in fact in bouncers or bumpo seats. Lucky 1st child.

Next, Lily in January of 2007. Seriously, it looks as if we adopted from an Asian country. And could her cheeks be ANY ROUNDER?

And, finally, Michael. Earlier this month. Definitely my skinniest kid.



I don't know...I just think they all look so different. Could just be the size difference (and the cheeks, by God, Lily, the CHEEKS). All stinkin' cute, though. It's too bad we're done having kids...

A New Lifestyle, or, Just Kill Me Now

Monday started a new lifestyle. I will not call it a diet, because that word is just DIE with a little "t" on the end...and rightly so.



Let's start off by saying that this isn't the first time I've tried to change myself. As you can see here, it was my New Year's Resolution for 2006! But I was mercifully let off the hook by getting pregnant a few weeks into January. (Ironically, I actually lost 10 pounds in the first trimester of that pregnancy. Apparently involuntary bulimia works for me!) I have a problem with my attention span. I am usually really good about curbing my bad eating...for about a week. And then when I do my first weigh in, there are never results, so I get bored, and there you have it.



I have a problem. Here's my weight gaining history...

I've been steadily gaining weight since August of 1977. My lowest weight so far has been 9 lbs 5 oz...but I was up to 120 by high school graduation. By college graduation/marriage time, I was 140. The first years in California really kicked my ass...actually really GREW my ass...and I was 165. 3 pregnancies...and my highest weight was at 193...which was just this past April! And in 3 months, I've gone from 193 to 165 again. But since I don't think I can push out another baby and lose 30 pounds (without getting pregnant again, that is), now I have to work to get back down to 140. I'm not kidding myself that I can get back to high school shape. Seriously, these hips will never be the same again. But 140 was a good weight. I think I was a size 10. That's reasonable, right?

So I know this is boring...I just wanted to write down...for the record...that I'm trying to do this again. And every time I feel hungry, I just think, "No, this is your body wanting to be fat." Because, honestly, how can I be hungry? Lily seriously eats a yogurt for breakfast, and applesauce for lunch, and a few handfuls of Cheerios for dinner. She NEVER acts hungry, and she's still growing up. I'm not growing...so why do I need 3 square meals plus sundae's? And don't even give me the "breastfeeding" BS. Unless Michael requires milk shakes, I don't need to be eating so many sweets and snacks. ;)

So exercise is still out of the questions, although it is certainly a goal. But until I can use the bathroom by myself for 30 seconds, I don't foresee having time to exercise during the day. And I can't physically get up any earlier and I'm ZONKED by the time Lily and Andrew go to bed. So I'll give myself some time on that. For now, I'm keeping a "food diary", which works only if I am honest with myself. I'm doing good so far, but I know next week I'll sneak a Snickers bar and just "forget" to write it down. Lovely. I'm trying to not graze in the afternoon, and I'm definitely limiting my hot fudge allowance.

I just reward myself with sweets and snacks. I'm having a rough day? I CRAVE brownies, candy, cake, etc. They make me feel better. So any suggestions on what else I can reward myself with are welcome. And I swear if any of you suggest going for a jog to "reward" myself I will hunt you down and beat you with my ice cream scooper. Don't test me...I'm hungry.

By the way, what is the likelihood that I will actually exersize when I can't even SPELL exersize. Thank God for spell check!

A year ago...a year from now

Hmmm, a great blog I read inspired me to do this little exercise. I am finding it fun to just think about, so I thought I'd actually write it down.

A year ago I had a 3 1/2 year old and an 9 month old. I had just weaned Lily the month before, so I was enjoying drinking summery alcoholic beverages and letting other people feed her bottles. I had just gotten back from my first trip to NYC ever! I was either not pregnant or just not aware of it yet...certainly a 3rd child was the furthest thing from my mind. Heavens, Lily had JUST started crawling! She looked like this. Never in a million years would I have imagined she would be the middle child soon! I was starting to focus on losing a little bit of myself...specifically the fatty parts in the middle and rear.

A year from now I will have a 5 1/2 year old about to start kindergarten (yikes), a 2 1/2 year old maybe potty trained? (aren't girls supposed to be quicker?), and a 15 month old maybe walking (this is my child we're talking about). And that's ALL the children we will have. I am determined! Jeff and I will be celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary. I swear we're going to do something fun. ;) We will have lived in one place for almost 3 years!!! Almost. Maybe we'll have bought curtains by then. Half of Jeff's plant will shut down July 1st, 2009, so perhaps Jeff will be in a new job. Maybe we won't be living here after all. Maybe I will have permanently lost part of myself...you know, the part in the middle and the rear.

There, now wasn't that fun? You try.

Happy Monday!

Handsome Michael

Laughing at his Mommy

Lily won't sit still for a photo...hence the extreme close-up and no smile

Michael's smirky half-smile. And I swear he only spends 75% of his day in this bouncy seat.

The crew...the best shot of the three of them I can get. And is it just me, or does Michael look scared...like he's pleading with me, "Mom? How can you leave me here like this?"

How can you have a bad day, when you get to see this 500 times a day? (I'm sure the next entry will explain how.)

Bedtime

I have to admit it...bedtime is one of my favorite times of the day.

I feel horrible. I have 3 wonderful children. They are blessings...honestly I know that deep down to the core of my being. And as often as they make me crazy, there are twice as many times they make me laugh and laugh and laugh.

That being said...I love bedtime. Oh, the quiet, the peaceful quiet.

Lately, putting Lily to bed has become my secret pleasure. I so rarely get alone time with that girl, we really relish our bedtime routine. I get her a cup of milk and pick her up. She says goodnight to everyone, "Bye, A-ew! Bye, Muck! Bye, Dog!" and she almost always leaves out Daddy (break his heart). I carry her upstairs and plop her down on the twin bed that is set up in her room (unless it is a bath night, in which case we just come directly from the tub). She drinks her milk while I change her diaper and put on pj's. Then I turn off the lights and lay down in bed with her. We read Goodnight Moon...and she points out the mouse and says "ushhhh" in this sweet little voice when we read the line, "And the quiet old lady whispering hush". Then we read Goodnight Gorilla...which has very few words, but we've got a little routine of what the animals might say. She tells me that the gorilla has stolen the keys, "Uh-oh, keeesh, Mommy." She does this awesome imitation of the surprised face the zoo keeper's wife has when she realizes there is a gorilla in her bed. She puts a finger to her lips and says, "Shhhhh" when the gorilla sneaks back behind the zoo keeper's wife. And she always snores at the end when the gorilla falls asleep.

Then we cuddle up and sing songs. Always these songs, always in this order. Baa baa black sheep, Twinkle twinkle, ABC's, and Baa Baa black sheep again. While singing, I tickle her or kiss her to the rhythm of the song or she shoves her Night night in front of my mouth to make it sound funny. There is much giggling, and not very conducive to going to sleep. After singing Baa baa for the second time, I ask her if it's time to get into bed. She usually says, "Nigh nigh bed". I lift her up and put her in her crib.

And that's it. She very rarely puts up a fuss after that. Then it's time for Mommy's quiet time. But I just love those last few moments before she goes to sleep. No tantrums. No frustration. No screaming. Just lovely Lily and Mommy time.

-sigh- Contentment is this.

Giggles!

I just got my first giggle from Michael. He was a little ticklish as I took off his onesie. So of course I tickled him again and again because I couldn't get enough of that chuckle. There's nothing like those first laughs.

Could I love him anymore?