Growing up

Ugh. And Yay! Both describe my feelings about my kids growing up. Mostly yay...because I just love watching them become a real person. I mean, they've always been real people...this isn't a Pinocchio story or something. But a person with their own path, which is only moderately influenced by myself. It's fun.

Lily is very good about saying thank you when you give her something. Andrew hands her a book in the back of the car, I hear, "Tank-choo". Give her a bagel. "Tank-choo". But the last day or two, the response back is something like, "Tank-choo kah-ko." I couldn't figure out what those last two syllables were. Jeff enlightened me last night. He's pretty sure it is "thank you welcome", because we always say you're welcome after she thanks us. How cute is that??? Now if we could only get her to say please. Right now we just get emphatic repeated, "More more more" or "Milk milk milk" or "Up up up" (which is pronounced Buh buh buh). My little chatter box. My POLITE chatter box.

Andrew made me so angry and then so proud the other night. I am finding the 4's more frustrating for myself because when Andrew does something wrong, I KNOW he knows better. So he's just being defiant...not just a clueless, tantruming little kid. One rule he knows is that we don't kick or throw balls unless we're in the toy room. Well, Jeff was on the phone with his parents Sunday night, and was absent-mindedly kicking a soccer ball back and forth with Andrew. In the kitchen. While Lily and I finished dinner. Andrew gave the ball a hard kick, and the ball flew over his chair, smacked me in the face, bounced off Jeff's full milk glass, and spilled cold milk everywhere. Since Jeff was on the phone, he skirted out of the room quickly. Andrew also retreated into another room. Momma Bear was growling (although I didn't yell at Andrew, since he had been kicking a ball with his FATHER...the growling was equally distributed this time around). After feeling a bit overwhelmed by the baby throwing food, milk going EVERYWHERE, I yelled at Jeff to CALL HIS PARENTS BACK AND COME HELP ME. Ah, another reason I'm the favorite in-law...so kind to Jeff in front of his parents. Jeff starts grabbing paper towel and I'm grumbling as I start wiping off everything that was on the table.

Then the most amazing thing happened.

As we are starting clean up, Andrew skulks back into the room and says quietly, "I kicked the ball, so it is my fault." I said, "This is why Mom doesn't want the ball kicked in the kitchen." Andrew says, "Can I help clean up the mess I made?" And then he did. He took paper towels and wiped up the floor and chair legs. I thanked him and said something like, "Andrew, I'm proud of you. This is exactly what you should do when you cause an accident...say you're sorry and offer to help. Good job."

Inside, I was BEAMING. What a decent fellow this little person is becoming. At this point you only get to see it in flashes like this, but it is proof to me that he is a good person who wants to do the right things. And all my anger melted away and I just felt such ooey-gooey love for him.

Now, if he is really smart, he'll take note that his response made Momma Bear stop growling. But I won't hold my breath.