Frustrations of a control freak turned Mommy

Aren't my kids cute? You don't have to answer...I'll think what I think no matter the critics ;) One of the blessings of a mother...to believe your kid is the cutest out there. And the smartest. And the most clever.

THIS mother is getting mighty frustrated with her 3 year old, however. 3 years 2 months to be exact. Doesn't he look so grown up in the pictures? He speaks so well, he's so tall, he's got a great sense of empathy and humor...and he still poops in his pants. And pees. I had my children 3 years apart with the expectation that I would have only one child in diapers at a time. Uh, no dice. I am getting so FRUSTRATED...and all the books and the doctors tell me to just let it go. I know that logically, very few "normal" children aren't potty trained by the time they are 5. I also know that my son can hold his excrement, knows when he goes, etc. I know he KNOWS what he's supposed to do. Potty training books are written for 2 year olds. My child is coherent and logical, and he understands. He just doesn't want to.

So I try to not mention it. I try to do things the books suggest.

1)I put the diapers and wipes into a drawer and made Andrew get them for me each time. Theory: diaper changing=work, therefore child will want to go potty. Nope. Andrew is so proud of himself for helping me.

2) I let Andrew pick out cool underpants. Actually, we've done this 3 times. A year ago, he picked out Thomas. 6 months ago he picked out Matchbox cars. At Christmas, he received Cars movie underpants. So excited when they're in the package. Take them out? Andrew SCREAMS. He REFUSES to wear them. To even touch them.

3) Watch Daddy pee...he idolizes Daddy. Intended result: be like Daddy...pee in potty. Actual result: Daddy's cool...I want him to change my diaper instead of Mommy.

4) Make child dump his poops into the potty so he will start to get that poops go in the potty...also the grossness factor may make him want to skip the middle step and just put poops directly in, bypassing diaper altogether. Actual result: Complete and utter refusal. Crosses arms and flat out refuses to even look at that disgusting diaper. I can't blame him. That's why I"M so frustrated for God's sake!!!

5) Put underpants on and let child pee on themselves until they get the idea. Did you read #2? There is no putting underpants on this kid. So we've tried nothing on...he just pees on the floor/chair/whatever. Points at himself non-chalantly and says, "Mom, I peed." Naked this summer...pooped on the deck...could've cared less.

Feel free to offer suggestions. At this point, I really don't think ANYTHING will work. I don't want to do timeouts...that puts a negative connotation on potty. But does it matter? Doesn't he already feel negative about the potty? Oh, and yes, we have a little potty. He's too big for it now. Yes, we have special seats for the potty. Doesn't care. What else might you suggest? Candy bribes? Worked for a day...but my child doesn't like sweets enough for that to be a motivator.

As a little Post Scrip:

I realize that in about 10-15 years I will be remembering this first struggle with my son fondly. I understand that frustrations with your children grow as they grow...that potty training is a cinch compared to all adolescent issues. I acknowledge that. And I am still frustrated as hell. ;)