Dumb Mommy

Have you ever said something only to instantly wish you could grab it right out of the air? This happens to me several times a day. It hardly ever happened. Until I had a pre-schooler. (as a side note, I am having a hard time calling Andrew a toddler...as he looks huge and old, but he isn't technically a pre-schooler yet. I don't know what to call this stage other than weird and crazy, but that makes people look at me funny. -sigh-)

Here's a tip for those of you smarter than me. Toddlers and pre-schoolers should get information on a "need-to-know" basis. In other words, they should just be able to go about their day, uninformed about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, until there is an immediate need for them to know about it. I have a problem with running my mouth off. This is not a new problem. But the definition of dumb is unteachable. At least I think it is...knowing the actual definition would require some brains.

I digress. I really need to learn to filter what I tell Andrew. Seriously, people. It's been 3 1/2 years. You'd think something would sink in. Daily, I still mention to him what my plans are for the day. Why? Why do I feel the need? At 8:00 am, when Mommy is refreshed and energetic, it sounds like a great idea to go to Target and get an Icee that afternoon. By the time the afternoon comes, Mommy thinks she is too tired and frazzled to handle a young child in a crowded, unorganized store. But she has already told the young child, so now she has to choose...tantrum at home because we're NOT going to go, or drag your sorry butt to the store because you were dumb enough to set an expectation. Yes, welcome to my life.

It could be so much simpler. Just don't say anything. Then if you swoop in during the afternoon with a terrifically fun idea...your toddler is pleasantly surprised and happy. If you change your mind...not big whoop...no one knew what you were thinking in the first place. So simple. So easy to implement.

My latest violation of the "need to know" rule is a doozy. I told Andrew that Nemo is having a baby. I can hear all of your collective gasps and shouts of "why?!?!" right now. I know. Dumb. The moment I told Andrew, my more intelligent side of the brain protested, "Now WHY did you go and tell him that?". This is definitely something Andrew DOES NOT need to know.

-sigh- It's not easy being a dumb mother. Now Andrew is telling everyone that there is going to be a baby fish. I have not, however, explained to him the cannibalistic nature of little sweet fat Nemo. I think cannibalism in general should not even enter his fragile psyche for several more years. -sigh-

Looks like I'll be making a little trip to the pet store on the sly. One morning he'll just wake up and -Ka-zam!- there will be 3 fish in the tank. He's too little to notice that "Baby" is the same size as Nemo and Jack, right?