Well, the dreaded day has come. Since I saw that positive on the end of a stick, I have envisioned carrying around a baby with a huge pregnant belly. And the comments of people...oh, how I anticipated all the sugary-sweet, criticism-laced comments. So now I have a belly that I just can't hide. And a baby that just won't walk. And...
Apparently, I'm the only A-hole who thinks it is crazy to have your kids close together.
Apparently, all those critical thoughts I've been having are just a reflection on my insecurities and again, on what an A-hole I am.
Apparently, I'm the only jerk that those poor pregnant women had to face saying things like, "Oh, wow, I can't imagine."
Because the response to my big old belly and my little baby girl in my arms has been overwhelmingly positive. Lots of people who say, "Oh! My sister and I were close in age...and I loved it!" Or, "Oh, my boys are 13 months apart, and it was so much fun when they were growing up." And on and on and on.
In fact, in a McDonald's one afternoon (very rare occurrence...us in a McDonald's...), I struck up a conversation with a woman whose 2 1/2 year old son was obsessing over Lily. Turns out she was due with her second child just a week after my #3 is due. I said (in my jerky way), "Oh, a 3 year spacing is so wonderful! It's been so easy, and my kids really enjoy each other." To which she said, "Really? Because I've always wanted kids about 18 months apart. 3 years is just too far apart for my taste." Just proves women are never happy, right?
So I am apologizing to all of you with children close together. I have a hard time letting the "crazy" label go, but it turns out that perhaps I have been the crazy one all along. I still can't imagine how the first year isn't going to be COMPLETE AND TOTAL INSANITY, but I am ready to be proven wrong. Or proven right, and then seeing the beautiful payoff in the years that follow.
And thank you to John Q. Public, for making this part of pregnancy emotionally easier for me. I'm sure I'll get strange comments eventually, especially when #3 catches up to his sister in size and I look like I have twins. But for now, I'll just bask in the positive feedback.
3 comments:
Everyone knows I am an A-hole, in general, but I still couldn't handle kids close in age. Kudos to those who can, but I simply can't wrap my head around it.
I wanted my kids spaced out so I could enjoy alone time with each one. When N starts kindergarten, G will be 2, so I will be able to do lots of the same fun things with him one-on-one that I enjoyed with N.
But that is me (and remember, I need meds to just be me). I know for certain it would be a BIG HONKING MISTAKE to have kids close together. You, I think, will do beautifully because you are more a go-with-the-flow gal.
I recently discovered a show on the Learning Channel - I think it's called John and Kate + 8. It's a couple that had twins, then three years later had sextuplets. Watching it has become my new way of destressing about the demands of motherhood, because no matter how tough a day I am having, I know it's nothing compared to theirs!
Personally, I am looking forward to the 3 year age gap my little ones are going to have. I know you are going to be great with the little ones close together though!
I had a baby in my first year of marriage, and then a second baby seventeen months later. I was embarrassed, sure that all the rest of the civilized world would sneer at me. What I discovered is the same thing you have: there are lots and lots of women who have close children, despite the myth that everyone else has perfectly-spaced families.
It will be chaotic for a while, but I think you'll be surprised at the benefits of having all your children close together. I certainly was.
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