I am a member of the local MOMS club organization here in PA. A reluctant member. I really like meeting other moms...but I had such a good experience in KY, it just hasn't quite matched up here. Let's take social outings without kids, for example. I think I had something just for me 3 Thursdays a month. It was lovely. Refreshing. Made me less resentful about Jeff's fencing. Gave me a chance to really get to know the ladies. -sigh- Here, there is maybe one event A MONTH. And people don't show up to it. It's not entirely their fault. Husbands commute really far to work (one woman's husband commutes to New York City...almost 2 hours away!), so they aren't able to make it early enough to be worth it.
Getting to the point. I offered to have a game night at my house last night for the monthly Mom's Night Out. I don't often offer up my house, because a) I'm self-conscious about my lack of decorating b) I'm not a very good housekeeper c) there is no where for my husband to hide away in this house, and I feel bad for him d) I'm just not a very good hostess.
But I offered, because I feel everyone should take a turn (not that everyone does...frustrating...but I still feel this way). I got 9 YES responses and 5 maybes. Wow! Cool turnout, especially for this club. I cleaned for 2 days, straining my back and neglecting my children. I spent a lot of money on fun little party foods so I wouldn't have to cook AND clean (let's not be ridiculous). I went to our back basement and dug out an unopened box and found the few large group games that we own.
And then it snowed. Just an inch, but the roads looked slippery. I didn't know if I should cancel, but I am quite the wuss about snow, so I didn't. It was just an inch. And by 6:30 (party started at 7), no one had called, so I figured I was overreacting.
One lady came. At 7:30. 3 others called to say they weren't coming (one of them was a maybe anyway). That means 5 "yes"es and 4 "maybe"s didn't say a word...and didn't show up. I had coffee made, desserts spread out, lemon cut for the water...and not even the courtesy of a phone call or an e-mail to say they wouldn't be coming after all.
ARGHHHH. This is just plain RUDE to me. Maybe it was obvious because of the inch of snow. But even if it was OBVIOUS, don't you think you should call the hostess to let her know you aren't coming?
-sigh- It's things like this that make me feel lonely. It's hard making good friends, don't you think?
8 comments:
I agree, that seems rude to me too. Especially since my friends call just to let me know if they're going to be 10 minutes late! :( I'm sorry to hear it. At the same time... at least there were a few that did call!
The same thing happened in our MOMS Club a year or two ago. In that case, the hostess got on the e-group and let the guests know what they'd done. She was very mature about it -- didn't swear or call anyone bad names -- but she left absolutely no question as to her feelings on the subject. I think our Club had a remarkably good RSVP rate for a while. :)
And, yes, it is HARD to make good friends. But worth it. I've learned you can't rush it.
Even "real" grown-ups have this problem (like our parents age, cause we're not grown ups are we?). My mom hosted her book club for a brunch and the same thing happened, 1 person came! She was so bummed out after all the work she had put into it. I guess people just flake out and can be rude, but we still love you!
It is very rude-- but unfortunately seems to be the norm with anything FREE. At the library we'll spend hours planning a program. We'll have people register and there are a limited number of spots. It fills up. We buy the supplies. We turn people away because the list is full. And then only half the people show up. Sometimes I think we should charge people for reservations, just to make them invest something to help them remember a little harder. -Sigh.
I'm so sorry! I agree that it was horribly rude! People just don't think!
Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones talking, but this makes me want to cry! I can just imagine after all that preparation and anticipation, it's so disappointing. I joined my local MOMS Club with similar hopes of developing friendships, and it hasn't really turned out that way. Really disappointing.
Us gals here in KY would never do that to ya! We miss you sooooooo much.
No Emily, it's not just pregnancy hormones. This made me all weepy and mad too. Not only is it rude, but especially so when you're PREGNANT and have two SMALL KIDS and you CLEANED and MADE FOOD. Oh Giselle, they SUCK.
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