Okay, so I'm slightly fat. No, not phat (although you COULD say that too), just a little fat. I would say about 20-25 pounds heavier than I *should* be. But my body disagrees. It thinks that 165 is JUST DANDY. I can starve myself all day, work out for a week, and still my body hovers around this number. (these are theoretical...of course I don't starve myself...or work out for a week). Hell, I was an involuntary bulemic for 5 months while pregnant with Lily and I STILL only lost 10 pounds...my body is ferocious about keeping these on. Who knows when the mastodon herd will move on and I'll need these reserves. So every day I wake up and give myself a pep talk: I am going to get healthier...don't worry about the number on the scale, just eat better and exercise. Make healthy choices throughout the day. Drink a glass of water before eating anything.
And then the children wake up. And I'm reminded of what my life is ACTUALLY like.
I could join a gym. I could...that would be getting serious about this. But the gym in our town is $170/month. I don't think I could EVER use a gym that much. I decided to walk the dog every day...a healthy way of getting out of the house. But then I slipped on the ice...which made me feel like walking in the winter is NOT a good thing, because what would happen if I sprained my ankle. Really...what would happen. I cannot afford to be injured. And then Shadow started limping during our walks...which made me remember that her little feet get cold and miserable too. Oops...never considered. So we are taking VERY SHORT WALKS now...hardly good for exercise. I could make healthy salads for lunch...except that I'm already trying to make 2 lunches for 2 picky eaters while squeezing in breastfeeding and putting down children for naps. Oh, and I eat breakfast before the kids wake up (usually around 6 am), so I am too STARVING to wait until 2pm to eat lunch. Excuses, excuses...
So another goal I have is to reward myself with something other than food. I am a BIG emotional eater. If the kids have frayed my nerves to dust (as they have several days this week), I crave brownies or pie or some other sweet treat. It is a reward for making it through the day...for doing this sometime thankless job. It is immediate gratification. It also works for when I have a good moment. Yesterday morning, I was a mommy superstar...making and feeding breakfast to 3 children, putting dinner in the crockpot, looking through magazines for Andrew's "homework" assignment, giving all three children baths, doing Lily's hair, AND still getting to school on time to drop off Andrew at 9 am. This will not be noted in my performance review. I can not look forward to a raise. In fact, there isn't even anyone around to notice when I do a better or worse job. So I want to reward myself...I am in essence my own boss. And that reward is always food.
Because (and this is where you come in), really, what else can I reward myself with? I need ideas I SUPPOSE I could look at myself in the mirror and chant, "You are super! You do such a good job! I'm so proud of you!" on good days or "Damn, it's commendable that you didn't kill those children today. What a model of self-restraint." on bad days.
Here are the rules for your reward suggestions:
1) It must not take too much time. Remember, I still have Mr. Bottles-are-the-anti-Christ that needs me every 3 hours during the day.
2) It must not be too expensive. I am cheap...if it is too expensive, I won't enjoy it anyway.
3) Shopping is usually irrelevant. What am I going to shop for? Nice clothes for Lily to wipe syrup on? Earrings that Michael can rip out of my ears? Pretty purses that I can leave in the car because I have so much other CRAP to lug around when I go out?
4) I would like it to be relatively immediate. It doesn't help to say, "Well, in just 5 years, Michael will be in school and you can go get coffee by yourself."
HOWEVER...this isn't meant to be too much of a sob post...because I DO realize that this stage of life...this tethering to the home and young children is temporary. And in just a few years, I will have my mornings to myself...and the evenings will be filled with fighting children to get their homework done, damn it!...and why won't you bathe? you stink...and Dear God, Andrew's been sleeping for 12 hours, he is such a lazy bum...and then they will be gone and I'll be sad that it's just me puttering around here with only my hobbies to entertain me. (yea...that's REALLY hard to believe right now).
So any suggestions for this TEMPORARY stage in life? Should I just suck it up and be a grown-up and realize that adults don't GET rewards for just doing their job? Yea...probably. But that's not what I'm hoping to get from you ;)
10 comments:
I have the same problem. Life is insane these days. However, if I reward myself with chocolate or a treat I often go overboard. If you can have just *one piece* it's not a terrible idea to go ahead and have it. I started buying sugar free chocolate pudding cups. They only have 60 calories and satisfy my sweet tooth without doing too much damage to my diet.
I also bought sugar free, but still yummy, creamer for my coffee and 2 TBSP is only 50 calories so I reward myself that way too.
I tried buying a HUGE bar of DARK chocolate and dividing it into separate little baggies with a few squares in each. The goal was to only eat one per day, when my sweet craving hit. That didn't work so well for me. I ended up eating more than one little 100 calorie bag and that can add up...
However, I REALLY like all the 100 calorie pack things they sell at the store. Great idea!
It's hard to find a good reward, isn't it? One that feels more like a reward and not just like a another task to achieve. I need to think more about that part but I have another thought. When at home, I am often starving by the time I eat and tend to overeat a bunch of junk too. Could you have a mid-morning snack? If you like bananas they are easy to eat even when driving--or if you can fit it in and like it- a bowl of instant oatmeal. I frickin' LOVE oatmeal, it is my night time treat and just a little sugar goes a long way. That's not meant to be a treat for you, just a way to eat something so you don't get too hungry. ALSO- you rocked the other morning! I cannot get that amount accomplished before 9am or even before 12noon. ALSO- you are allowed to wish for rewards! I'll get back to about that part...
Oh, Giselle! I'm convinced, now more than ever, that we are soul mates! Do you think that Jeff and Kevin can hold down their respective forts if we run away (probably screaming) together? I could have written your post, word-for-word (well, taking out the part about breastfeeding, since my littlest monster is past that stage). Brownies=YUM!
Joey and Giselle...can I run away with you as well?? :)
Whereas I agree with much of the above in that chocolate is the ultimate self reward (I automatically crave it now when Reina goes down for a nap...because I hide it from her!), I would like to offer another suggestion which I also enjoy. I have found something called Rooibos tea. Hang on, even if you aren't a tea drinker...
It is naturally decaf, so great for pregnant/nursing. Full of healthy minerals and antioxidants. Naturally sweet, so no extra sugar needed, AND it comes in lots of different flavors, including chocolately, carmelly, coffee-esque goodness. Takes 5 minutes to make, another 15 to drink. There's my vote for you. If you want to feel like it is REALLY a treat, it IS a little hard to find (look online) but modestly priced.
I'll be accepting my commission for this free advertising.
Rewards...
Rationalize that the money you are saving on food could go to buying curtains, some pictures for the wall, some fancy office supplies (I know you love 'em).
Maybe you could put in a slip of paper that says $1 every time you say no to something-- and then at the end of the week see if it buys you a book from Amazon, a music CD you've been wanting, etc.
Dang, I need to take my own advice.
No, Adults SHOULD get rewards. If daily life is 100% DUTY, then it's hard to enjoy the good stuff, even if the source of the duty.
I guess I picked the wrong week to mail you mint brownies? (They're already mailed... sorry! They should be arriving early next week.)
Personally, I could use a fancy 8x10 award that says "Damn, it's commendable that you didn't kill those children today. What a model of self-restraint." Of course, COMMENDABLE and MODEL would in a really big font, and everything else real tiny, so it would look super impressive...
For a reward- what about a magazine, and when you deserve the reward, you can lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes and read a page or two? That should last at least a week or so... if you can hide in the bathroom.
OR- an actual, real time phone call to a long distance friend after everyone goes to sleep?
OR- gold stars (seriously!) or other fun stickers- when you acculumate, say, ten... THEN you get a foodie reward :)
and I loved your hint from an earlier post about 'only when we're out' toys. I'm stealing it!
I have no suggestions, because I'm in the same spot. Dark chocolate is the only thing that makes me truly happy.
Okay, not really, that sounds pathetic, but I can't think of any reward that I would enjoy as much. Ugh.
Most working adults DO get rewards, in the form of paychecks, benefits, and praise from bosses and co-workers. I'd say mommy should get herself some expensive perfume. Even the Frenchy-French kind I like best is less than a month's gym membership.
I like to buy myself fun clearance stuff at Target: stationery, shampoo or other hair add-ins, flavored coffee grounds, new clothes for the kids (I know that thing about clothes for the kids SOUNDS pathetic, but I seriously do enjoy dressing them in new stuff).
Post a Comment