Personal philosophies

Michael- Take action first, ask questions later.

See Also: Touch first/taste first/open first/climb on first/ take apart first, then ask questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew- Ask lots and lots and lots of questions, and then maybe take action. If it will be okay with the adults present, of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lily- Take action first and never ask questions.

See also: Even when you are obviously in trouble, never back down, because you are always right.

Long days

Yesterday's sentimental posts about the children were brought to you by self-therapy. It's been a long couple of weeks, and sometimes you just need to sit down and remind yourself why you love them.

Not that I don't realize it every day. But with Jeff working later at nights and still leaving early in the mornings, he's seen the kids for exactly 30 minutes each day. And with a week that is horribly unbalanced socially I am pretty lonely by Wednesday night. (Thursday and Friday I have school for Lily, a class for Michael, and 2 different playgroups. Monday thru Wednesday are empty.) Which means it is all mommy, all the time. Every bath, every meal, every paltry little request. All mommy.

I am completely serious when I tell you that so far this week, I have had exactly zero meals with other adults. Jeff leaves before breakfast and hasn't been home for dinner. Tuesday and Wednesday, the only adult that I even spoke to...and this includes phone calls...was the check out clerk at the grocery and a handful of awkward hellos to new moms in the pre-school line. That's 48 hours, people. My mom is out of town, my friends have lives, Jeff is in training so is unable to answer phone calls...you know...I was just lonely.

It's not that things are so bad. It's just knowing that this is the new norm...and I don't like it. Nothing I won't adjust to, though. The kids are actually being really good. They have been playing in their own little world at night and fighting only a little.

Whatever. Cry me a big fat middle class tear, why don't you. Husband makes good money at a stable job, my kids are healthy and happy, etc.

I love Lillian Jeannette

-- Lily is a different child when you get her alone. She is simply never unpleasant. She relishes time spent together and frequently tells me, "It's just the GIRLS." She talks incessantly during these outings, about everything from what every dog's name should be to how she likes to visit the beach.

-- Lily is growing up. Physically and emotionally. She is starting to shock me with some of her maturity. We were out running an errand and I could NOT get over into the left lane to turn into the parking lot. I was getting really frustrated as I kept getting cut off. Lily quietly piped in, "You know what I'm going to get you for your birthday, Mom? A flying car. Then you could just fly over the other cars. And I'd make it green, because that's your favorite color." Just to have Lily notice what I was doing and come up with a solution? Growing up.

--She is amazingly observant about certain things. She can't find her own shoes if they are attached to her feet, but she will immediately notice if your outfit is different or you are wearing earrings. And she will follow that observation with a compliment. A sweet, heart-felt compliment. The other day I asked her how she got so cute. She shrugged and said, "I don't know, Mom. How did YOU get so cute?"

-- She wears her emotions on her sleeve...and she changes that shirt constantly. While this leads to much fiery anger, she has an amazing ability to calm herself down. She seems to understand emotions...which is very girly of her, don't you think. She is powerful and magnetic and a whirlwind to be around. Which can be very tiring, but also exhilarating. This girl giggles like no other. And she often will just be overcome with affection and press herself as close to me as possible. Out of the blue.

-- She is an animal person through and through. Michael can fall on the floor bleeding, and Lily won't even turn around to notice. But if the smoke alarm goes off in our house (which makes Shadow cower and shiver like a leaf), Lily is immediately by Shadow's side, crooning over and over, "It's okay, Shadow. I'm here. I'll take care of you." She is kind and considerate of animals everywhere, never crowding them or disturbing them.

-- Lily would like to live in her very own pretend world...as long as someone else is narrating it. She loves to hear made up songs, made up stories, and play with made up characters. I play some sort of pretend with her each afternoon while Michael sleeps, because it brings her so much joy. But I am 33, and my tolerance for playing princess is short. So I set a timer. After it goes off, I offer to play something else with her that ISN'T pretend. She suggests ponies. I point out that we would still be playing pretend...how about UNO. She shakes her head and suggests neighbor. In Lily's mind, there is no such thing as play without pretending. To her credit, when you play pretend with her, she isn't bossy and demanding about "how" you play. She is simply happy as a clam to play along with you...no matter what crazy plot lines you throw in.

-- Lily is increasingly aware and frustrated by her own personal limitations. She is so stubborn that it is nearly impossible to guide her through these things. Like how to hold scissors so that she can cut well. Or how to skip. Okay, so mostly motor skills kinds of things.

-- I love the quiet times with Lily. When I hold her in my lap and talk with her. Or make her laugh with a silly song. Or in the moments when I get a brief glimpse of the amazing woman she could become.

I love Andrew John

-- He still has the most gentle, loving heart...way beyond his years. Last week, on Lily's first day of school, Andrew lept off the bus. The first thing he did was run and hold Lily's hand and ask how her first day was. Even on non-monumental days, he and Lily often walk hand and hand, deep in conversation from the bus stop home. Let's just pretend for a moment that it's not always about Pokemon, shall we? They cuddle each morning when they watch cartoons.

-- His huge heart has also enveloped that baby brother of his. He asked me to put Mikey in the swing last week so he could push him and make him laugh. When Andrew is running around with a ball, Mike wants to be involved. And sweet Andrew just can't say no. Countless meals have been turned into choking hazards as Andrew makes Michael giggle with just a widening of the eyes. He lets Michael tackle him, smack him, cuddle with him.

-- Lily and Michael just don't know how good they have it. From the overly-enthusiastic encouragement to the dumbing down of games to the sharing of precious candy and sweets...Andrew is the best big brother I've ever heard about.

-- With this power to do good comes the power to do...uh...not good. If Andrew is in a mood...the whole house suffers. Luckily for us, Andrew is most often agreeable and loving. He can also manipulate his sister and loves to hear her scream in torture. He is a much better loser than once he was...but he must point out how much better he is to his sister. Keep her in line.

-- The football obsession that has held strong since the age of 2 seems to be easing up a bit. I find myself at a loss. Football was always my go-to conversation starter and present buying guide for Andrew. He seems more obsessed with anything number/graph/list/statistics oriented. Future actuarian.

-- He is 50-something pounds and 4 foot 3 1/2 inches tall. But this bony, lanky, knobby-kneed boy is still a cuddle bug. I try to soak it up and enjoy it each time he reaches for another cuddle...but seriously? Put some fat on that bony butt...it hurts! Our new favorite activity is to curl up with a book at night...and he reads. I just cherish each moment with my arm tucked around him, occasionally giving him soft kisses on his temple. He never wipes them away...just tolerates his sentimental old mother. How much longer until I never get to touch him?

-- He can make me laugh a million different ways. With his new/bad jokes that he invents. With his little comments about life. With the camaraderie he gives me when the littles are tantruming (he rolls his eyes with me). When he finds something that makes me truly laugh out-loud, he repeats it ad-nauseum...not realizing that it is the surprise that makes something funny...

-- Andrew is magnificent. He is kind, smart, funny...but he is the most compliment-hungry of my kids. He relishes each stroke of his ego, each time I point out his good works, whenever I praise anything he does or is. I must remember this trait as he gets older because it is easy to take for granted how wonderful he is. I definitely take him for granted. But I try not to.

I love Michael Paul

-- He likes to play pretend more and more. Last night I was playing with the dollhouse with him to keep him away from Lily and Andrew's Pokemon game. I of course had to be the mommy doll. He was distressed that the bathtub was broken and there was no water. Then he spied a Barbie doll across the room. He ran over and said, "Giant mom!" and handed her to me to include in the play. And was distressed when Barbie wouldn't fit in the tiny dollhouse bathtub.

--The stink bugs are back. All over our screens in the hot afternoon sun. One of Mike's favorite past times is flicking them off the screen. He yells, "Oh no! Eeew! Sink bug!" and then rushes to flick it. On Sunday he decided to try something new. I caught him aiming the laser from Buzz Lightyear doll's arm at the stink bugs. Making shooting noises and trying to kill them with his laser beam.

-- I have given him Andrew's old pre-school rolling backpack to take into Lily's pre-school 3 times a week. Tuesday was the first day...and he was giddy with delight at having his very own "pack". And it has Lightning McQueen on it. Score! It was a little sad when he rushed back to the classroom and hung his pack on the hooks with the other pre-schoolers. To his credit, he didn't cry when I made him leave. One more year, Mikey.

-- We went grocery shopping Tuesday...just the two of us. Seriously, could grocery shopping be any easier than with only one child in tow. Well, of course ZERO children would be easier. Whatev'. Mikey was giggling so hard in the fridge aisle...we were kissing and poking and maybe there was a little tickling going on as I picked out our yogurts and cheeses. He's just fun...and he got quite the attention of the other shoppers...all grandmotherly types.

-- He is wired differently than my other kids. He is such a problem solver. Can't reach something? Get the stool. Hungry? Don't bother asking, just go in the fridge/pantry and help yourself. Sister won't share? Don't cry about it, just punch her as hard as you can to teach her a lesson.

-- He has some serious "Mom-dar". The second I leave the room, he's all, "Where ma go?" And it is totally embarrassing how totally incapable of leaving me he is. But I try and cherish all those long hugs and big kisses. Even if he totally wipes them off as he grins with eyes full of mischief.

-- He is not able to calm himself down. Mike is so often even tempered, that when he falls apart, he has no coping skills. The problem is, we just don't have that many opportunities to practice taking deep breathes and separating himself from the issue at hand. Which is usually that I won't let him knock everything off the counter. Or have 7 yogurts from the fridge. Or fruit snacks. Or chips. 9 times out of 10 it is food related.

-- He is full of empathy. He worries when some is crying and rushes to pat them or hug them. When I sneeze, he calls from the other room, "O-tay, ma? O-tay?" He is dramatic about his empathy, putting his hands on his cheeks and saying, "Oh no!"

-- He is funny...and he knows it. He makes his dolls burp and say "Q-kee" (excuse me). Then he takes a tissue and wipes their bottoms (?), all the while smiling mischievously. He was wearing a onesie to bed last night, and I asked him where his belly button was. He tried to lift up his shirt and couldn't. He said dramatically, "Oh no! Can't find it!" Then looked down the neck and said, "Oh! Der it is!"

I love him.

Quickies

Don't worry about the title...this is a Mom blog after all, right?

** Lily stayed in her room for about 90 minutes in the morning on Friday. Then I was a real...um...female dog, if you will...reminding her each time she complained about something that, "Well, I don't feel bad because YOU SHOULD BE HAVING FUN AT SCHOOL RIGHT NOW." When Michael went down for his nap, I made Lily spend another 90 minutes in her room to complete the 3 hours of school time that she missed. She was an angel. Didn't fall asleep, but didn't come out and complain once. She even commented at the end of it, "Mommy? Next time I'll go to school." We'll see. I like Carrie's suggestion of just bringing her to school in her pjs.

** Thursday I took Michael to his first Mommy and me type class. It is called Creative Parenting, and in the 4 years since we moved here I've heard nothing but good things. It is for ages 18 months-3 years...so there hasn't really been a time that I could take the other two kids. It was amazing. Michael had so much fun. You start with an art project...and Michael was shaking glitter like a maniac, squinching up tissue paper and gluing it to his bag, and staying quite focused. Then we went upstairs for free play. He obviously did fine. Then he helped clean the area up without a peep. Next came circle time. Much to my amazement, he sat in my lap and didn't squirm or fidget. At snack time, he sat excitedly on his mat and kept saying, "Me? Snack?" He listened to the story without running around. I saw a whole new side to my little boy. Fantastic.

Unfortunately, I kind of felt like crying each time he giggled as we did a song together or when he smiled proudly with me as we finished part of the art project. Because I never did anything like this with Lily. And while she is fine, obviously, and doesn't know what she missed out on...I'm sad for me that I missed out on this with her. I think that I'm really not over this whole 18 month spacing thing yet.

** Jeff still hasn't heard about the job yet. Now they are being downright rude. Jeff called the hiring manager on September 8th and left a detailed message on his voice mail. And he still hasn't called Jeff back. At least give him some closure. Don't they have to at least send a letter in the mail? They can't just ignore you forever, can they? Jeff refuses to look for anything else until this door is closed. Ugh.

** Jeff has two more business trips scheduled. One to Brazil the day after we get back from Texas for Uncle Chad's wedding. And another one week after that to Mexico for the week. Ugh. That's all I have to say. Ugh.

** We went back to church yesterday after a long summer absence. Michael was a complete and utter FREAK in the nursery. I suggested leaving and his response was clinging and SCREAMING for 15 minutes. Then 30 minutes after he finally calmed down, I left to get a tissue and he freaked out again. This boy has serious Mommy issues.

** I need to find a babysitter. Jeff and I have been really behind the times...we just go out when parents are visiting or we ask another parent to come over. But with Jeff traveling more and more, there are instances where I may need to go out or take Andrew somewhere, etc. So I ask again, fair readers...how do I find a babysitter?

Okay, enough boring fare. I've got to get the kids ready. Dentist appointment before school today! Yipes!

Learning consequences

Lily started school this week. She loves it. Each day she has given me detailed and excited stories of what school is like. She is still fighting a big of a head cold, but nothing too serious. She certainly isn't sleeping longer because of it.

This morning is her 3rd day of school this week. She didn't want to go. She fought me on getting dressed, eating breakfast, etc. Just digging in her heels. I sat her down and explained my rule about missing school. If you miss school, that means you are sick. Which means that you must stay in your room and rest for the entire school time. So did she want to stay in her room until lunchtime, or would she like to go to school and have art and see her teachers from last year, since she has Jump for Joy today (a little PE program at her pre-school)?

She chose her room. Big surprise.

At 8:45, I opened her door and asked her if I could get her dressed and ready. I brought up her weekly calendar and showed her all the fun things she was going to do today. I reminded her of the fun things she'd done yesterday. She screamed at me and told to to go.

At 9:00, I opened her door and told her this was her last chance. Didn't she want to go to school? Wasn't it boring in her room?

She shook her head firmly and said, "I don't feel like going to school today."

At 9:15, she came downstairs and said, "I'm ready to go to school!"

But it is too late. School has already started. I have already called in to tell them she isn't coming. I've cancelled my playgroups planned for today. I am pissed. She must go back to her room because this is the choice she made.

So she is upstairs in her room, crying. This is how we learn that when it is time to go to school, we go. This is how we learn that school is in fact the preferable option. This is how we learn that Mommy means business. This is how we learn that choices come with consequences.

So she is upstairs crying.

But since she is a little bit legitimately sick, I won't make her stay up there until lunch. Just long enough to make it miserable and memorable. An hour. Because I don't have a heart of ice. And I understand that she's only in pre-school and only 3.

-sigh-

Another first day

Despite still recovering from the cold that has swept through our house...Lily went to her first day of pre-school yesterday (not counting the year of 90 minute "school" last year). She was so excited to finally get to go to school like her brother.

Now how to explain that she doesn't get to take the bus or go every day.

And how to explain to Mikey that he still has to wait a year.

The *surprise* anniversary party

So, yah, I kind of didn't mention that we were headed to Ohio for Labor Day weekend to celebrate my in-laws 40th wedding anniversary. (one of the main reasons I went ape-shit crazy when Jeff told me he thought he'd take a longer business trip last week...) I couldn't say anything because, you know, my MIL reads this...and she wasn't supposed to know. My SIL kind of took care of things and our big responsibility was to show up. So on Friday, I drove to Ohio with the 2 littles...by myself, like a big girl. And Jeff and Andrew flew in after school was over.

There were many many surprises throughout the weekend.

The 40th Wedding Anniversary Surprise

Setting:
Smallish town, Ohio; where my in-laws have lived for almost 40 years, where Jeff and siblings grew up, where everyone is connected like some kind of 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon game.

Cast of Characters:
Linda- Mother-in-law extraordinaire. She had taken the day off Friday to recover from a late night out partying. (her version would say she was out late at the Buckeye Game the night before...for her version, read her blog. Oh, wait...she doesn't have one. Guess you'll have to believe my version)

Paul- Father-in-law extraordinaire. He had to work on Friday, even though he was also out partying late the night before. He was no doubt looking forward to a quiet holiday weekend to work out in the yard, sleep in late, read the paper cover to cover, and watch whatever he wanted on tv.

Sara- Jeff's sister and baby of the family. Although she lives in Austin with her husband (who couldn't be there, since he was busy in Chicago becoming the national champ in Gaelic football), Sara managed to pull this whole thing off. With some help from the extended family of women who live locally. Okay, probably with a lot of help. I hope. Or else Sara is some kind of super woman.

Chad- Jeff's brother, who also lives in Texas. Chad was already planning on being in Ohio 2 weekends in September and is busy getting ready for his wedding in October. But he managed to finagle this weekend into a business trip. Genius. Although his sweet fiance Monica couldn't come because she is also coming 2 times this month...and couldn't manage to make this one. Bummer.


Surprise #1:
Friday afternoon, Linda was nursing a hangover from the night before. Okay, not really. But she was peacefully puttering around the house on her day off. At about 3:30pm, the doorbell rang. Odd. There stood her baby daughter from Texas with a suitcase. Linda immediately thought she has left her husband and come running home. Then Sara brought in groceries. Linda got suspicious. After grilling Sara and even using her middle name multiple times, the super sleuth figured out that Jeff and family are also coming...all from seeing a box of Cheerios in the groceries.

Surprise #2:
Linda was not so surprised when Lily, Michael, and I pulled into the driveway around 4:30, due the Cheerios reveal. I was excited, because she greeted me and told me that her house was such a mess because she wasn't expecting company. I was excited because she always sees my house a mess...but I was disappointed. By "mess" she meant there was a pillow on the ground. Or perhaps it was the fact that the beds were made, but the sheets weren't fresh. Apparently my version of "mess" is at a different level than most. ;) After Lily and Michael started in on REALLY making the house a mess, I parked my car down the street and we hid on the porch because Paul was due home at any time. We were supposed to figure out a way to surprise him, but instead we got to talking...and he just kind of found us out on the porch. Surprise! Later he had to put the crib together and then drive all the way to the airport to get Jeff and Andrew. Nothing says, "Happy Anniversary" quite like showing up and making demands.

Surprise #3:
Linda kept saying how perfect it would be if only Chad could have come. But of course she understood that he couldn't because he was already coming so many times this month. Saturday we pushed Linda and Paul to a wedding they had RSVP'd for so that Sara could go to the airport and get Chad. He was sitting on the floor playing Polly Pockets with Lily when they arrived back home from the wedding. After a massive double-take, they realized that all their baby birds had come back to the nest for the weekend. And that's what they thought the big surprise was.

Surprise #4:
The next day we went to church. Nothing is more satisfying for people from smallish towns than parading far away family in front of their church congregation. As we settled in for the service to start, Linda read the program/missile/daily schedule/still not sure what it is called even though I've been going to a Methodist Church for over a year. Right there was an invitation to come to an open house for Linda and Paul's 40th anniversary. After church, we went to a nice banquet room, where there was a slide show of pictures from their life together, their wedding book and original invitation, a sign in book, lots of juice and cookies and snacks, and lots and lots of people coming and going.



We ruined their quiet weekend, but through the planning and work of the people who love them, I hope that they felt the love and appreciation we all have for their union. As we sat around laughing and telling stories and arguing politics and yelping as we tried to put those mother-effing Polly Pocket outfits on...I kept thinking of that little phrase..."All because two people fell in love..."

The first few days

Not to leave you hanging...we haven't locked ourselves out again...I'm just not at the computer as much.

Andrew has had 2 wonderful days at school. Except for the heat. His school has no air-conditioning, so he comes home with sweat plastered to his head and begs for glass after glass of ice cold water. This is the boy who doesn't drink much. Poor kid. True to form, Andrew doesn't seem to be making any friends in his class. Last year, it took him a month to learn anybody's name because he was concentrating on the new routines and rules so much. This year I'm not worrying about it...Andrew's gotta do what Andrew's gotta do.

Oh, and I think I may be in love with Andrew's teacher. Yesterday he brought in a giant paper bag filled with 8 personal items to share with the class. You would not believe how difficult this was for him...he put his 2 favorite stuffed animals in and then was stumped. I incredulously suggested something football related...how could he not think of that? Or maybe a computer game? Or Pokemon? Anyway, we got it all together and he took it in. He got off the bus yesterday afternoon with puffy red eyes. Apparently he left the paper bag behind when the class left to get in the bus lines in the cafeteria. Mrs. C wouldn't let him run back to the classroom to retrieve his bag. Andrew just sobbed in line. So Mrs. C ran back to the classroom and got it for him (in the 90 degree heat...and she must be in her late 50s/early 60s). Andrew told me, "I've learned not to bring any valuables to school"...he was so upset because his kangaroo was in the bag. And more likely because he was exhausted at the end of the day.

I sent an e-mail to Mrs. C to thank her for running to get it and to promise that we wouldn't send the family valuables to school again. She wrote right back and said, "It did give me some extra exercise for the day! Your Andrew is just the sweetest little boy; a real asset to our class. I couldn't watch him sob waiting for the bus; it broke my heart."

So I think I love her.

On the home front, I am floundering a bit as to what to do all day with the littles. The morning is fine...we have gone on errands and played outside a lot. But the errands are so much harder without Andrew...Lily and Michael fighting is very different than Lily and Andrew fighting. Michael just isn't rational. And then the afternoons...oh Lord help me. I was so spoiled this summer with Andrew and Lily playing while Michael napped. Yesterday during Michael's nap, Lily and I:

-made glue and bean pictures
-did a princess puzzle
-played a animal habitat puzzle game
-read Highlights magazine
-played neighbor
-played Uno
-watched a video
-sat around and looked at our navels

Seriously. So boring. I know she will get used to playing by herself eventually, but GOD. Until then we are adjusting.

When Andrew comes home, she pounces on him. And so far (the last 2 days), they are inseparable. The first day they sat on the couch hip to hip and read books together for an hour. Yesterday they went up and played Pokemon on my bed for about an hour. I didn't cry while he was at school, but seeing them reunited made me tear up. My babies...friends...

So that's that. Lily doesn't start school for a few weeks, but I know that will make our routine better...it will wear her out 3 days a week so our afternoons are quieter. ;)

First day drama

-enter sappy emotional post here-

Our morning was not what I expected.

Andrew was up and ready for school by 7:45. Bus doesn't come until 8:45.

Walk outside to take first day pictures. Head shot because he has so many loose teeth, I'm sure that the end of the year picture will look totally different.

Go to put the camera back inside. Locked out. Jeff locks the door from the house to the garage and I don't. When it is locked, you can open it from the inside and it locks behind you. I hate this, so I don't lock it. So since he got back late last night, he locked it. And no one unlocked it this morning.

-

So I am outside with a dog, 3 kids, and no keys, no purse, car locked, windows locked, screen doors locked.

-

All of the neighbors that I know work full time and are already gone for the day.

-

So...I spent 20 minutes cursing under my breath while Andrew worried about us being stuck outside all day. I tried every window on the first floor...all locked. Except for the one over the kitchen sink, but I can't even open it from the inside, so from the outside was a joke. I'm contemplating which would be better...walking to a store (a few miles away) to ask to use a phone and have Jeff come home from downtown (an hour away) to let me in? Or breaking a window. Not good options.

-

Then I remembered that the front door was unlocked, just the screen door was locked. So I found something sharp in the garage and cut the screen and voila! Into the house. A cut screen seemed better than my other options.

-

Then we ran to the bus stop. And the bus was late so we didn't need to worry. And I was still so frazzled, it didn't even hit me until he was waving from the bus. My baby. Gone all day.

-

-

-enter more sappy emotional stuff here-

Meeting Jane (bluedaisy)

Friendships in the blogging world are a little different than in person friendships...but no less real. There are things I know about my blogger friends that I have no idea about with my real life friends. I get to peek into their journal and read complete thoughts and sense their true and deep feelings about issues, while my real life friends are usually interrupted mid-thought when a child needs a diaper change/break up a fight/run to catch child before he falls to his death off the slide. I get insights into their frustrations and joys, strengths and weaknesses that I only get glimpses of in my real life friends, since most people pull it together and make good appearances for get togethers.

And yet, I don't know what my blogger friends sound like. Or if they twirl their hair around their fingers when they talk or how tall they are or if they hold a coffee cup by the handle or by gripping it with their whole hand or two hands. Mannerisms, habits, physical characteristics are all things I take for granted with my real life friends, but I have no inkling of with my blogger friends.

Of course, many blogs I read are actually people I knew in person before. Others are total strangers who I've for some reason felt a connection to and now consider my blogger friends.

Yesterday I had the good fortune to meet a blogger friend and make her a real life friend. ;)

Jane and her children came to visit me. And she is lovely. And her kids are too.

Things I learned about Jane:

1) She is taller than I expected. She looks so tiny in pictures, and she IS tiny...I swear her waist was about as big around as my upper arm. But she's tall too! She tried to impress me by going all goth by dying her hair the night before, but there was no need. She is so pretty and friendly and just...well...lovely.

2) Don't believe anything she says about her children in her blog. Actually, I don't think Jane complains about her children as much as some bloggers do -cough,cough-ME-cough,cough. Her Michael was so polite and friendly and pleasant and so so so cute. And Liam was crazy about Shadow from the moment he hopped out of the car, and he played so nice with everything and everyone. And Chloe. Oh! Is there anything better than a 9 month old? She gave a pout-pout face ONCE in 3 hours...the rest of the time was smiles and claps and just melt-your-heart cuteness. She even let me carry her around a little bit...ah...baby fix.

3) I felt no awkwardness at all. I kind of felt like she walked in my house as if she'd been here a million times and we just started talking as if we'd done this a million times before. I mean, she already knows I'm a horrible housekeeper, my kids are tv freaks, I don't decorate, I'm not a good hostess, etc etc. And she still opted to come over (sucker). So all the things I normally feel awkward about I could just kind of shrug off. I even hugged her hello and goodbye. I KNOW. I'm not even a hugger. But I felt like I was greeting a friend I haven't seen in a while, rather than someone I haven't actually met before.

4) She is just very kind. I mean, she let Andrew talk to her about the lunch menu for school in exhausting detail. And she didn't even fall asleep and drool...not even a little. And then after than scintillating lecture, he made her look at his disgusting loose tooth. Ew. She didn't even kick him away in disgust. Kind.

What a gift this little blogging world is!***

***Unless of course, Jane now thinks I am a desperate, crazy, stalker-lady. I should know by the end of the week. If she makes her blog invitation only. Or writes an entry about a woman she'll just call "Janelle" who served her water out of the tap and a strange wilty salad for lunch and whose dust bunnies tried to kidnap Chloe and make her part of their kingdom. Then I'll know.


I of course forgot to get out the doggone camera. Here's Michael (4), Andrew, and Liam (3). Oh...and Shadow. Because Liam wanted to make sure that Shadow was in the picture.

Andrew took this picture of Jane and I as she was loading her kids into the car to go back home. She looks a lot like my friend Pamela, I think. And she doesn't even look a little scared in this picture...so maybe she thought it went well too ;)


Andrew requested a silly shot. Nice.

Thanks again for coming over!

Meet the Teacher

Today we got to go meet Andrew's 1st grade teacher. Jeff was working at home, and since Michael was sleeping, I left him behind and only took Lily with me. Joy. :)

We had to park quite a ways away from the school, since it was Open House for all the students grades 1-6. At 4-5 classes per grade...that's a lot of students showing up at the same time. Andrew showed no trepidation, walking calmly in and saying hello to random people that he saw.

We walk in the front doors, and I realize that I have no idea where the 1st grade classrooms are. And there are no signs directing you. No worries, of course, as Andrew confidently led me back to the correct area.

And his teacher greeted us. And she is wonderful. I love her already. She is one of those people that you can tell at first glance has found her calling in life. She gets down and really talks to the kids and asks meaningful questions. She encouraged Andrew to find a desk that fit him, guiding him gently towards the one group of desks that was a bit taller than all the rest. Not exclaiming how tall he is, like every other adult in the world. He got busy getting his desk ready, filling out a name plate and putting his school supplies away. He walked around the room and fingered all the book shelves and charts and looked at their very own private bathroom. I asked if he was ready to go, and he said he wanted to ask the teacher a few things.

Here we go. So he talked to her for several minutes while I tried to keep Lily from screaming. I have no idea what he talked about, but the parents standing nearby were grinning pretty big. Oh, Lordy.

Then his buddy from t-ball walked in, and Andrew ran over and gave him a bear hug and then pretty much forced him to pick the desk right next to him and then gave him a tour of the classroom like he was a mentally retarded squirrel or something. Oh, Lordy.

Then I forced him to leave...he wanted to stay for the whole 45 minutes, but Lily was ready to go postal. As we are walking the halls to leave, Andrew saw all these kids from last year. He's yelling out to them, giving them hugs, high fiving them. Even the autistic boy...who looked rather uncomfortable as Andrew attempted to hug him. All the parents were exclaiming, "Oh! It's the famous Andrew. We've heard all about him. He's the smartest/nicest/tallest boy!" Like he's this celebrity from Kindergarten.

And he beamed. And asked if he could start school tomorrow.

And I'm not as sad for Monday, because I'm so excited for him. This is HIS place in the world. With his own friends and his own desk and his own reputation to build. And I'm so sad for myself, but I am also so so so proud to let this little guy loose. I can't wait for the world to love him as much as I do.

For my kids...

For my children who may read this one day, I feel the need to write what happened after my little tirade at breakfast yesterday. What happens after my temper tantrums is really why your parents' marriage seems to work.

Jeff left for work a little battered and bruised. He said nothing to defend himself or rile me up more. He kissed me on his way out the door.

I called him around 9 and apologized. Not for being upset or bothered by his increasing travel, but because it wasn't fair to pounce on him like that.

He came home after work and didn't get ready for his Tuesday night fencing. When I asked if he was going, he looked at me like I had 3 eyes on my face. "No way. After this morning? No fencing for me tonight."

And he helped put the kids to bed. And he gave me a foot rub. And we had a long talk about how things have been so different the last few months, and the stress, and the loneliness, and the travel.

And nothing can change yet, because that's where we are at. But I felt better. And he felt better (I hope).

And we move on to another day in our marriage.

Ten More on Tuesday

Ah...why not?



1) We have still not heard anything from "the job". Which means to us that they have offered it to someone else and are waiting for confirmation from them before they set Jeff loose. I am...extraordinarily relieved. And sad. But mostly relieved. This would have been a very good move in the long term. But in the short term it would have been utter and complete misery. Jeff is keeping a stiff upper lip, but I can tell from some side comments that it hurts his feelings to not get picked. Even though there are so many non-personal reasons for them to choose someone else...someone cheaper, someone they don't have to relocate, someone that already knows the products this company makes. So the search begins again...and heaven only knows where we'll end up a year from now.



2) My friend Carrie called me for my birthday. I have been reading her blog and commenting on Facebook, but I don't think I've actually talked to her for about 3 years. Did you know that she has a delightful southern drawl? By the end of the conversation, I kind of wished that I had a pleasant way of speaking. And it makes me wonder what some of these other bloggers sound like in person. You feel like you know a person from reading their thoughts every couple of days, but in fact you don't even know the basic tenor of their voice. Strange. Except that I SHOULD have known and remembered Carrie's voice, since I was basically her neighbor for 18 months. Whatever. We talked for an HOUR and made me remember how much I loved living in Louisville.



3) Jeff is leaving for Vegas on Friday morning EARLY and will not be back until LATE Sunday night. Which leaves me scrambling for what to do with the children other than tie them up in the basement and eat bon bons. As we were drifting off to sleep last night, he says, "Oh. Work is sending me to Chicago next Tuesday, and I thought I might stay longer to visit one of the nearby plants." I responded the way any logical wife would. I slept on it, giving him no indication that I was stewing all night long. And then I pounced this morning, with this very speech, "You know, I think you should go to your friend's wedding the first weekend of October, and the fencing tournament in Cincinnati too. Because you obviously don't think you are needed around here, and since work is already planning on sending you to Mexico and then Brazil, that's 2 more weeks you'll be gone in the next several months. Maybe I should just move back to Ohio and you visit us when we fit into your busy social/work schedule." And then I broke into tears muttering how I didn't like being a single parent and stuck at home all the time with my support system 600 miles away, etc etc. And he sat there with his cereal spoon frozen halfway to his mouth looking at me like the crazy person I am. Good communication is the key to a happy marriage.



4) I am so excited for Andrew to start school. This year he gets to eat lunch with his friends, have art and PE, and all this other fun stuff. His teacher sent out a test e-mail yesterday to see if they worked, and I counted 20 students total. Only 8 boys. And then I went to the school website, and his teacher's page is already filled with information about the first few weeks of school, a letter for the parents and a letter for the students. As I read the letter to the students with Andrew, I seriously choked up. "We're going to do a lot of fun things this year, but don't worry. I'm here to help you whenever you need it." And I'm crying. What is wrong with me? I kicked his little bootie onto the Kindergarten bus without a sniffle. I sent him to pre-school with no issues. But this all day school thing is tripping me up BIG TIME. And then next year all the kids will have school, and then a few years after that? I'll need a new excuse to have a sticky kitchen floor and dusty window sills. -sigh- All part of that scheduled mid-life crisis, I suppose.



5) I got an e-mail from a friend of mine who sends her kids to the local Catholic school. She was just letting me know that their school librarian quit, and they need a new one PRONTO. I mentioned it to Jeff and he thought I should just go for it, and we pay for the kids to go to daycare for a few years so I can get my foot in the door. To which I said, "I thought you were finding a new job and moving us." He said, "Well, probably." End of conversation. Also? I don't think he knows how expensive daycare would be for 2 little ones...



6) Michael is taking off with his pretend play. He's always cooking in his kitchen, or using our pretend tools to fix furniture around the house, or taking his matchbox cars on little adventures around the house. This weekend I even caught him playing with Lily's doll house. He was making the mommy doll and daddy doll fly. "Ma! Fie!" He loves carrying around Lily's velvet Snow White purse as well. But he carries Matchbox cars around in it, so that butches it up a bit. Kind of like when Lily used to play house with Andrew's football figurines...making it their own.

7) I am in a cooking rut. I think I'm going to actually have to learn how to use the grill. With Jeff being gone so much and when he is here getting home so late, my normal summer routine is just thrown off. I purposefully have avoided using the grill because it gives me an excuse to not have to cook dinner (just all the side dishes). But then again, maybe it won't solve anything. Cooking for myself and then hearing everyone complain about it isn't very motivating. And I don't want to eat chicken nuggets all the time...ugh.

8) Apparently, I am just in a summer snit. I think I need to just accept that our family dynamics are changing...we are becoming a family where the dad is just not around as much. I was spoiled for years and years having Jeff home in the evenings and weekends. And he isn't traveling that much, I suppose, so I just need to get over myself, pick up my bootstraps and change my thinking. It isn't HIS fault that he's gone so much...I guess I'll just have to compensate for him being gone without having anyone to blame. Not my speciality. ;) I like having a scapegoat to bitch about.

9) We still haven't painted the trim around the edge of the kitchen. No excuse except for laziness. Perhaps I'll get industrious while Jeff's gone in the next week. It's ridiculous how these things just don't bother either of us.

10) My addiction to House Hunters and Property Virgins is apparently linked to the thought of an impending move. Once Friday came and there was no call about Jeff's potential job, I lost all desire to watch all the ones I had on DVR. So I guess if you want to know the status of Jeff's job hunt, just ask me what I've got saved on my DVR. Lord help us all if I start taping The Baby Story again. :)

33

So far another lovely birthday...although I'm feeling the twinges of a mid-life crisis coming along. Perhaps a pre-mid-life crisis, since I'm only 33 afterall. Found my first gray hair a few weeks ago. My back is achy today. Seriously. Feeling old.



Anyhoo, the kids were hopping eager for me to open the gifts they picked out all by themselves. Lily's was wrapped in a biggish box, and when I ripped the paper off, I saw it was a granola box. Lily's face when she saw the box was possibly my favorite part of the morning. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she started slowly shaking her head. I could almost hear her thinking, "I don't THINK I got Mom cereal...did I?" Inside the box were the actual gifts from Lily. She got me a brand new green watch. My watch band is broken, and Jeff said that Lily thought of this idea herself because she'd noticed I needed a new watch. I am so touched...because Lily actually thought of an appropriate gift and didn't just grab the first thing she saw in the store (like at Christmas when she grabbed a roll of wrapping paper to be Jeff's gift). Unfortunately, the only green watch they had is exceptionally cheap...I hope it lasts as long as her attention span. :) She also wanted to get me new earrings...and she picked out these dangly and sparkly pink and purple doo-dads. I promptly put them on to show off, and Andrew said, "Oh! Mom! They make you so beautiful." Perhaps wearing more jewelry is in store.

Andrew apparently just walked in the store wanting to get me something new for my new kitchen. After grabbing a set of flatware, Jeff stopped him and asked to think of something that I need and would enjoy in my kitchen. I ended up getting some very nice wine glasses (those giant ones that people in movies always drink out of) and a hand grater. I have a feeling that Jeff nudged him towards one of those and let him have free reign for the other.

Michael didn't go on the shopping trip for me. I'm sure he would have gotten me a very nice 5 pack of Matchbox cars or perhaps a box of Froot Loops.

Jeff got me a book that I asked for. Actually, I sent him the Amazon link while he was at work with the subject title, "Get this for my birthday."

We went to Bowmen's Hill Tower, a big tower built in Washington's Crossing Park that I've been wanting to go up. It was crystal clear and the views were incredible. The kids lasted about 5 minutes up there...which was really disappointing, but expected. Then we hiked around the Bowman's Wildflower Preserve for an hour or so. Mostly finding acorns and "teeny tiny pine cones." It was the perfect temperature, the kids were moderately enthusiastic...a successful and lovely morning.

While Michael napped, I read my new book. Now Jeff is baking my take-n-bake pizza that I requested. No mess to clean up in the kitchen...no debacle at a restaurant. Later we will have my cake from the bakery we love...chocolate with raspberry filling and butter cream frosting. I almost had to order it myself, but Jeff was gracious enough to humor his wife and call it in from work. Oh, and I'll be drinking wine with my pizza in my new glasses and grating fresh mozzerella on my pizza while looking at my new watch for the time and wearing my new earrings. Because when children get you presents, you are expected to use them...pronto!

A good birthday!

Okay, so this didn't work

I had this idea to handwrite a blog post while in jury duty today, so that you guys could see what my handwriting looks like. But it turns out that my handwriting is too small and I am not savvy enough on the computer to make it legible. You can enlarge the sample below, but it's just too small to read.


Here's what it says:

August 19, 2010
A Blog Entry from the Jury Lounge, Bucks Co., PA

It's going to be a long day...but a blissfully quiet, unconnected day. I enjoyed reading the entries from others with their handwriting revealed...so why not? This is a good distraction from the waiting for news, anyway.

Ah, the news. Waiting to find out if we are moving...again...to a new state...again. It's quite a bit like being 10 months pregnant and waiting to give birth. Each day you wake up thinking this could be the day your life changes. You know that it also means a disruption of "normal" days, a lack of sleep, and emotional rollercoaster. That life will resume a natural rhythm in 6 months to a year, but life will never be the same. But when will it happen...this seismic tremor to our life...will it happen today? Tomorrow? At least with pregnancy you know they will induce or at the very least cut that little one out. But with waiting for the news of a move...all this anticipation and worry may be all for nothing. The job could be offered to another, and then we are back to square one...Jeff unhappy and searching. And then we'll be back to this place we are in now...again and again until the inevitable move happens.

We haven't been talking to our families during this process...because why get them worked up if it ends up being nothing? But I am a talker...a worrier...a planner...and it drives me CRAZY keeping it in. Until we find out we aren't actually moving. And then I'm glad that they weren't drawn into it.

Ugh. I know that if this is the worst part of my life...this frequent moving...then I am a lucky, lucky person. But let's just get ON with it, already!

Giselle

Ten on Tuesday

1. I know I've been MIA. So what else is new? My parents were in town last week while Jeff went to California for business and I've been preoccupied with things that I don't blog about. I have been trying to form a blog entry in my head about how people into health food can be just like Evangelical Christians...but I'm having a hard time because I don't really know enough about either group...except how they make me feel like I am not worthy to share this planet with them. Also, there is this big thing preoccupying my mind that I can't talk about here and it is all I'm thinking about. Which I will probably be able to share eventually, but I don't know when. And maybe not. Argh. When I go back and read my own blog, I truly regret the large time gaps that occur now and again. But sometimes, blogging just isn't in me.



2. I have always been a huge believer in letting kids be kids and not over scheduling them. My kids just don't do very many classes. Part of it is I value them learning how to entertain themselves without a teacher or leader telling them what to do all the time. Part of it is I don't like entertaining the other 2 children while we wait for the 3rd kid in the class. But I'm just starting to realize the downside to all of this. My children don't know how to DO anything. They don't swim, can't ride bikes, don't play any musical instruments, etc etc. The rational part of my brain knows that they are only 2,3, and 6 for crying out loud. But sometimes the societal pressure gets really overwhelming.



3. My summer goals for Andrew are totally a bust. There is no scrapbook of writing pages for the summer. We didn't go very many exciting places or try new activities. He did chores for money for about 2 weeks until that fizzled out. I'm anxious for school just to force me into a routine, since I am apparently a failure at self-imposed scheduling. And at the same time, I am so so so sad that he will be gone each day from 9-4.



4. We were supposed to go to the shore today to visit a friend that has a second home there. As in, the Jersey shore. Oh, yea, baby. I had the self tanner ready. I have since chickened out. I don't actually know what I was thinking. I know I really feel like I should experience the shore, since it is part of the cultural experience around here. EVERYONE goes to the shore. And I've never been. But why I thought it was a good idea to drive 2 hours one way and then spend the day with the 3 kids in a place that I can't even imagine (arcades and rides at the beach? weird)... just call it a momentary lapse of judgement.



5. Lily is getting some serious pre-teen attitude with me. Nothing makes me see red like a flippant attitude from that girl. She has been in time out so many times in the last week for saying things like, "No I'm not." and "Don't talk to me." when I ask her to do something. I am really practicing my deep breathing lately. This is the child that will earn me my parenting stripes, I tell you.



6. We are loving the Pokemon over here lately. I let Andrew get a video from the library one week, and Lily and Andrew have been playing Pokemon ever since. They love to play up on my bed, and on a good day, they'll be up there for over an hour playing. Take them to a park...play happily together. Backyard...play happily together. If they want a break, Andrew is inside making his own Pokemon cards (I haven't bought any for him). It has been De-Lightful. Poor Mikey is left out, so there are often bitter tears of rejection when his beloved big brother and sister close the door on him. But other than that, we just get a new DVD from the library when we go, and the play keeps on going. Love. It.

7. Our 11th anniversary was on the 7th. My parents had just arrived, so we actually went out on a date! We went to dinner and a movie and really enjoyed ourselves. We were a little concerned with the movie, because we just don't pay attention to that part of the world anymore and so picked one relatively randomly. I swear every other person in the theatre was at least 20 years older than us. We were starting to worry that the movie was sponsored by Geritol or something. But apparently the 50 and up crowd just really like movies about lesbians. It was a good flick. Even if the guy in front of us lost his cell phone before the movie even started and had the theatre staff looking under and inside the seats with a flashlight. And after 20 minutes of searching, his wife suddenly remembered that she had a phone and had the bright idea of calling his cell phone.

8. My birthday is this coming Saturday, and Jeff took the kids out shopping for it last weekend. It was all I could do to convince Lily not to tell me what she picked out. Jeff and I have the tradition of letting the kids go hog wild and pick out what they think is a good gift. It is usually quite amusing to see what they think I need and want. Anyway, Lily was a good girl and didn't tell me. Until we went to Target yesterday, and both Andrew and Lily got all excited because that is where they bought their gifts for me. I again convinced them not to reveal their secret. But Andrew was still having a hard time, frequently saying things like, "Mom. This might be the section that we got your gift from..." I can't wait to see what they've picked out for me.

9. I'm in an end of summer slump. I don't feel like doing anything, going anywhere, being ambitious about anything. I know it is the heat and that as soon as the cool crisp air starts coming I will perk up. I have the opposite of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I have TFHIGTKMD (This F-ing Heat Is Going To Kill Me Disorder).

10. Finally to end this angry pouty post...Oh I can't even think of a 10th thing. How about how Michael refuses to count? I know he can count, because if I am counting cars and pause at a number, he fills in the blank. Like I say, "One, two, three, ______." and Mikey fills in "Fow". But if I ask him to count, he just says, "Eightnineeightnineeightnine." And then smiles evilly. Jeff and I were walking with him each holding one of his hands and counting one...two...three...lift up in the sky. He wanted to do it over and over, but I wanted HIM to do the counting. So after lifting him up a few times, I told him to count to three for us. He responded, "Eight nine Eight nine GOOOOOOO!"

Sweatin' Like a Pig

File this one under: Stuff Andrew Says

We were driving home from the grocery yesterday, and we took our usual route past the horse pastures and then past the house with two pot-bellied pigs. Lily saw the pigs and the following conversation followed:

Lily- Mom, why do pigs always get in mud?

Me- Well, it's because they are hot. When people get hot, their skin lets off sweat so the wetness can cool them off. Pigs can't sweat, so to cool off their skin they like to cover it in mud. So it really is nonsense when people say, "I'm sweating like a pig."

A pause falls over the car.

Andrew- It would make sense to say it if you weren't actually sweating.

Me- (laughing). That's true, Andrew. Good thinking.

Another pause.

Andrew- Hey Mom! I'm sweating like a pig back here!

Out of place

Okay...so I'm a little out of the whole SSC thing. I have mentioned before that my attention span is quite short. I try to do an activity each day with the kids that involves crafty or sciency stuff...but the whole organization of it is out the window. And Andrew has VBS this week at our church, so he's gone the whole morning.

Which makes me realize how much I miss having him around. Why is it that just as your kids get easy and fun to be around, they have to go to school full day? I would like to hang out with my 6 year old all day, thank you very much. Where is the full day school for the manic-depressive psycho toddler? -sigh-

I digress. I really just wanted to write down a cute Lily moment.


We were pulling into the library to return books and pick up my holds, and we saw one of Lily's teachers from last year walking to her car with her daughters. I pointed her out to Lily..."Look! There's Mrs. Wood, Lily!"

Lily was rather unaffected and said, "But I don't see Mrs. Gulla."

As if it couldn't possibly be her teacher if the assistant teacher wasn't nearby. Siamese twins.