Monday, January 26, 2009

Who is my favorite?

Ah...the age-old question for parents...do you have a favorite child? No, really...not the politically correct answer...do you really really have a favorite?

When I had just Andrew, I was certain that he would always be my favorite. I mean, I love him so so so much, there was NO WAY I could love another quite the same. And he was my first...so everything he did was so special because I was experiencing it for the first time. I knew I would love my 2nd child a lot...but I thought that secretly Andrew might be my favorite.

And then Lily came. And I did love her right away...just like I thought I would. But...amazingly...I didn't feel like it was any less than my love for Andrew. How was this possible? One thing I didn't take into account was that even though Lily was having her "firsts" just like Andrew did...she did them in totally new and unique ways...hence making them equally exciting and wonderful. There is no worry about things being boring the 2nd time around...Lily is a completely different and fantastically wonderful mystery unfolding before my eyes.

So when I was pregnant with my 3rd, I was really worried that he would be a notch below the other two. Like I would have TWO favorites and then the poor unexpected, dare I say unwanted, 3rd child would be lagging behind. And then Michael came and the fierceness of my love for him has shocked me...continues to shock me every day. And I find myself cheering and running for the camera and coming almost to tears as I watch him grow up even though it is the 3rd time I've done this (you should have seen the hullaballoo when I found him standing in his crib yesterday!).

So, what? 3 favorites? Or rather, they cancel out so I have no favorites? What a boring politically-correct answer. Let me give you the REAL answer.

I DO have favorites. All 3 of my children have the POTENTIAL to be my favorite...but they don't always achieve it during the course of the day. Like last week when Michael was waking me up every 2 hours...not my favorite child. When Lily has repeated tantrums over things like where the peanut butter was placed in the bowl (Cr-AAAAAzy!)...not my favorite. When Andrew bugs me all day to play neighbor for the 100th time...not my favorite.

So last week Andrew asked me who my favorite child was. And I answered, "I don't know. I haven't decided yet today. Ask me when you're all asleep in bed and I'll tally up who got to be my favorite today." Seems like the most honest answer. ;)

3 comments:

Andrea said...

I had someone ask me once who my favorite was (I thought that was weird) and my answer was the same as yours. Depends on the day. LIke yesterday it was Ryan because he was cute cooperative and didn't hork red jello on me (Joey) or yell at me in church(Rachel). THis morning it was Rachel because she was cute, cooperative and snuggly and didn't fight me over mittens or wake me up last night. I think Joey is due a turn soon :)

Kate said...

LOL! No wonder I was at the bottom of the list MOST days at our house. I got to do things first, but also the HARD WAY.

CARRIE said...

With me, it often depends on the moment as to who is my favorite.