Friday, June 04, 2010

Bad decisions

We all make bad decisions in life...we're human. Some are far worse than others...one choice will make your life miserable for a brief moment in time while other will linger.

My recent (in the last few months) bad choices...

-- Buying a Piggie and Gerald book for our own collection. Lily LOVES these books, so I thought it would be a good idea to get her one so we don't always have to check it out of the library. FAIL. I have tried hiding it...she finds it. I have refused to read it...but she manages to weasel it into rotation again and again. Apparently one week is a good amount of time to repeat the story over and over...being able to return it to the library was a blessing. But now...I Am Going 7 times a week. For weeks and weeks. BAD DECISION.

--Insisting that Andrew wear "nicer" clothes to school. We are not fancy people, but I wouldn't allow him to wear his sleeveless shirts and sweat shorts. And then I went to volunteer at his school last week and found his classroom unbearably hot. I asked the teacher if her AC was not working...and she informed me that they don't have AC. Oops. Imagine a small Kindergarten classroom with 28 hot little bodies in it. From now on I'm sending Andrew in a swimsuit with sprinklers attached. FAIL.

--Buying a huge box of FiberOne bars at BJ's. I thought, "Hey! It's like granola except with lots of good for you fiber!" Except that they turn my abdomen into a bloated gassy mess. This morning during my run, the neighbors must have thought there was machine-gun warfare going on. Because after my dear son Andrew's ginormous head destroyed my nether regions, I have no ability to hold back my gaseous emissions. So, BAD DECISION. Worse? I keep eating them because they are yummy. SUPER BAD.

--Letting children chose music at the library. In an effort to keep away from the tv, I didn't let them pick out their weekly video from the library. Instead, I steered them to the CD collection. And let them pick out whatever they wanted. OMG. There is some bad children's music out there. So this week I've been listening to Arthur's Christmas collection, Cheetah girls sing old Disney songs, and Mother Goose rhymes sung by the Keebler elves (or someone like that). Shoot. Me. In. The. Head. Now. Just do it. BAD DECISION.

--Buying squirt bottles. I have always had one to do Lily's hair in the morning. Michael discovered it and played with it for 30 minutes. So I did what any other irrational person would do...I bought 3 more...one for each kid. Do I really need to keep writing, or can you just imagine the chaos? Are you imagining a 55 pound kid chasing down his little sister as she screams in terror at the tiny stream of water headed her direction? Are you imagining the same sister who squirts the larger child in the head and then screams when he retaliates? Are you imagining the toddler who cannot control his squirting until he gets inside the house...how in God's name does he keep sneaking it into the house? Who in their right mind would arm their young children in this manner? Who? Me! FAIL

--Making myself the most fun playmate in the house. Jeff has it right. When he "plays" with the kids, he just kind of sits there, half-heartedly stacking blocks or lying there like an abused puppy. GENIUS. Not me. I've got to talk on the phone with Chuck E Cheese and discuss Lily's upcoming marriage to Mario and build extensive ramps for the Matchbox cars with blocks and set up elaborate restaurant meals on the play room floor. Now who do they want to include in their games. Me. Not Jeff. BAD DECISION AND EPIC FAIL.

I've got to go get Michael up now. I'm sure I can and will add to this list. Big dummy.

4 comments:

d e v a n said...

haha! I've made a few of these myself, including the squirt bottle one. We "forgot" those at grandma's house when she bought them some. lol

Kate said...

Music-- ask Heather on facebook about recommendations. she knows ALL the good ones that won't kill you. I love Justin Roberts. Not annoying. Also Jessica Harper. Brady Rhymer. and any of the "For the Kids" collections.

CARRIE said...

Thoroughly enjoyed this post.
And those darn FiberOne bars are delish, and make me sound like a 1-lady-band....wind instruments, thank you....

Kelsey said...

OMG Giselle I am just reading this and it is too funny. Amen to the CDs at the library -there's some wonderful stuff out there, but lots and lots of music that must be designed to torture parents!