90

Today, my Memere turns 90. Even though she is not my oldest living grandparent, that is still quite an accomplishment. My Uncle Chuck asked all of us to write a little something about her that would be put together into a birthday book for her. I am a slacker, and never got it mailed...even though I had it mostly written a few weeks ago. So I'll post it here before finally mailing it.

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Memere has always been the grandparent I've felt the closest to. She lived close to us for much of my childhood...stubbornly moving and chasing after my parents as they moved all over Ohio. She had way fewer grandchildren...5 to my other grandmother's 23...so we got a bit more attention from her. She is my mother's mother. I am named after her...and I have always been so honored to carry her name, that I in turn gave my daughter her name. Jeannette. A woman to model yourself after in so many ways.

I have so many memories of Memere, that I don't even know where to begin. Because she lived near us, many of them are everyday, mundane things. Like spending the night at her house and playing with all her jewelry. Her house was always spotless and filled with breakable things...but she never made you feel bad about messing it up or even playing with fragile items. To her they were just "things". I remember that the cookie jar was always full, and the candy dish always had yummy coffee nips or Andes mints. I remember loving to tease her...about her wine habit (never excessive...we just teased) or the food catching on her "shelf" (read: ample bosom). I still can't eat smoked sausage without remembering Memere...she always served us smoked sausage, Velveeta shells & cheese and corn when babysitting us. Oh! And the kiddie cocktails! Memere would always have scotch on the rocks (I think) before dinner, and she would serve us sprite or ginger ale with a cherry. I made the mistake of eating HER cherry once...ugh. (I'm really making her out to be lush here...she's not. But maybe she's lived to 90 for a reason...) I remember taking trips with her...especially one that just she and I took up to Lexington when I was in college...she was visiting old friends and I was visiting my new boyfriend, Jeff.

But these are just little things. I'm sure Memere is cringing that all her granddaughter can remember is her smoked sausage cooking skills (she was a fantastic cook in her day) or her drinking. ;)

As I've grown to adulthood, Memere's attitude and philosophy on life has really made an impression on me. She has stopped being just a fun grandma to cuddle and escape real life with and morphed into the type of woman and person I aim to be...to become.

Memere was born the youngest of 5 girls. She was adored and pampered and spoiled...no doubt because of her sunny disposition. She married in her late teens, to a man 7 years older than her. My Pepere was an orphan who had spent the last 10 years or so trying to raise and support his 4 younger siblings without even a high school diploma under his belt. I like to think that he found true love with Memere because her optimism and loving nature and naive viewpoint was just what he needed to give him joy and hope in the world that had been cruel to him in his youth. She married him with no knowledge of how to cook or run a household or even what sex was (imagine her surprise on her wedding night!). She used to tell fabulous stories of burning Pepere's dinners and then all her oopsies when my Uncle Chuck came along. Lordy. She gave birth to her second child on Chrismas Day, and he died the next day. My mother came 3 years after that, and Memere was told not to have any more children. My Pepere began moving the family all over the country and once even out of the country. Memere was separated from her entire support system back in the days where everyone else lived close to family and there was no e-mail or Facebook or quick and easy flights for visits. She became a widow at the young age of 60 (or maybe 59?). She managed to become the head of her own household and figure out the finances and move several times...maintaining her independence and stepping up to the plate. In the last few years, she has struggled with health issues that have taken away her independence and slowly her mind and memories.

But despite her trials and tribulations, the overwhelming impression you will get if you have the honor of meeting my Memere, is that she is an incredibly positive, sunny person. She is genuine and humble and unassuming. She is the eternal optimist. She can always think of something good to say about any person or situation. She has always been downright pleasant to be around. This is evident in her lifelong collection of friends and how devoted her family is to her and what caring, self-less children she raised. She proudly displays pictures of all of her homes in all the states and countries. She talks fondly of my Pepere and jokes about her mistakes as a young adult. She speaks of the sad things in her life, but without self-pity or resentment.

This is what Memere has impressed upon me. Life is what you make of it...you can be grumpy and downtrodden about what is thrown at you, or you can make the most of what you have and enjoy it.

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See how long and drawn out this is? This is why I didn't send it. I kept trying to whittle it down a bit and make it less rambling and long. I don't even know if I have all the details of her life correct...grandchildren don't always have all the pieces to the puzzle. But really I just struggled with how to adequately write about someone who has lived 90 amazing years...and been such an important part in my own 32.