Kelsey asked her readers for ideas about what to write during this November challenge (write every day in the month of November). I would ask you all, my patient readers, but you are always completely SILENT when I ask questions. I don't know if you don't know about the comment button, or don't want to admit that you read my retarded blather, or you just don't care, or nobody is actually reading it. I don't really care to know the answer to that last one, by the way ;) Anyhoo, I'm just going to steal ideas off of Kelsey's readers...so if you happen to read both of our blogs...sorry for you. ;)
This question is: What do you plan to do when the kids grow up? And how grown up do you intend for them to be before you do it? How does that prospect make you feel?
I haven't entirely decided what to do when the kids grow up. I have to stop having kids so that they have an opportunity to grow up first :) Seriously, though, my mother didn't have a job outside of the home for my entire life. Selfishly, I loved it. It was like having your own personal valet/chef/house cleaner/counselor/confidante all the time. Now that I'm an adult, I wonder how personally fulfilling it was to her...did she get lonely for adult time? Did she feel she was wasting her brain? Maybe these feelings get better as the kids get older? Anyway, I would love to stay at home forever with my kids. But there are several problems I see with this:
1) Stay-at-home mom is a dying breed. I feel like MOST people go back to work at some point because of the financial aspect of raising children. So let's say I didn't go back to work. Who would I hang out with? Would I get stuck always being the room mother? Or the one taking care of the other 14 latch-key kids in the neighborhood.
2) I am a social beast. I need interaction. Right now I get a limited amount through playgroups (which are TOTALLY for the moms, not the kids), but what happens when the kids go to school and the moms go back to school? Yikes, I think I will need to work just so I have friends
3) We had our kids young. When Michael graduates from high school, Jeff and I will be just 48. That's almost 20 years of childless years before Jeff retires. I think I would like to have a career...something that interests me, etc.
4) Jeff's mom worked during his childhood. Which makes Jeff just assume I will go back. Because that's all he knows.
5) I don't like to clean house. Or cook. Or do crafty projects. Or any of the other things I would be expected to do if I was at home while the kids were at school. I need some excuse for a dirty house...working would fulfill that!
So our plan right now is to wait until Michael is in 1st grade. Then I will look for a part-time position in a school district, so I can have similar hours and holidays as the kids. If nothing is available, I think I will probably go back and get my master's degree in library science. I really loved being a school librarian...I'd like to be able to do it for real. I would like to work part time until the kids graduate, and then move into full time.
And I feel pretty good about this plan because it's not really a plan yet. We just have a flexible wait and see kind of attitude.
9 comments:
Hey! Thought I'd comment since I just came upon your blog and you were whining about no one commenting ;) First, who's Kelsey? Second, sounds like you've got the framework of a plan which ... given that you have, what, 5 years or so until you would actually put this into action, seems like some major pre-planning to me. I'm having my first in 6 months and I don't even know if I'm going back to work full time, part time or not at all ... and if I'm not at home if I'm going to do the daycare bit, in home daycare (from someone else's home) or try to get my mom to retire. Right now I'm just putting it off and focusing on paint colors, that's more fun. And I'll just think about all that serious stuff tomorrow, because tomorrow is another day ;)
I saw this question on Kelsey's blog too and I think it's such a good one. I think I will do a similar post and see if we can get lots of people to answer it.
I think your plan sounds like a good one, and it's one that I hear alot of SAHMs lay out. Plus, even the best laid plan has to have a little element of wait and see, right?
Not that I think that posting it on my blog will get "lots of people" to do the same - sounds as if I think I have lots of readers, but really I'm begging for comments, too. :)
Feel free to help yourself to any of the questions at my place - I only got a couple of responses, but people asked such good questions!
I was thinking that you should consider going back for your MLS or get a school library degree like I did. You were part of my inspiration, did you know that?
I asked that awesome question! Thank you very much! I'm trying out this November challenge so maybe I'll attempt to answer it too.
I agree, we were spoiled growing up... Now it makes me wonder how I can possibly have kids and work!! Fortunately I'm planning on having quite some years before making that decision. But it's still something I wonder.
On a separate note... I'm really starting to wish I had Kate and your passion for reading! :)
You know, I feel that same way! I do comment on your blog occassionally but am not sure anyone except my friend lacey reads mine since she is the only one to comment :(
Like the Q/A thing alot! I like the sound of your plan and I have another question for you- How did you find the transition from 2 to 3 children in terms of finance. I don't need your 1040 form or anything too personal, just a general idea of how it worked with your budget. My kids are 2 and 1...I personally would LOVE to have one more but finances are not in prime condition to say the least. Did you guys feel the pinch financially or were you able to work it out? P.S.- I don't always comment but I love reading your blog :)
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